CALLING ALL STAGE I SISTERS
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My true "ME" day would be a day with.......................no cancer, no rads, no LE, no aches, no trigger thumb, no fatigue, and.....................................no Femara............................now that would be a real "ME" day, because then I would be the "Old me", and not the "ME" I deal with day in and day out now...........................well we all know that ME day isn't going to happen......................ok, back to the real world..............................
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Judy...This is for you.
Good Night Sisters♥
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To my beautiful Stage I sisters...(my only sisters since I don't have one of my own)
Since 12/10 - Each time I logged in to BC.org I would fall asleep...totally wiped out. I took a day off today from work, but Rads at 8 AM. After a flawless 3 weeks, the machine malfunctioned after x-rays and 2 zaps. I had to go to another room, realign, and have 2 more zaps. When I was told I could no longer have the appointments I wanted since I am not working for a few weeks, I felt put out....but I said, "it's ok - I'm half way done today!" No cheers...I went to the changing room and burst into tears. I was so overwhelmed....
Now, after reading your posts - and I read every one - I understand.
I went shopping after rads, and tried to pick out cards, I couldn't do it - I started tearing up. You know, we all wonder how many Christmases we get....and I wanted this one to be perfect and of course it is all messed up. I went into the Disney store, looked at the princess dolls and dresses, -- more tears. My grandaughters have brought me into their magical carefree world and I want to go there with them forever. I love them to a fault! So melancholy!
After wandering around the mall alone, I hit the wall. As I shuffled with my bags to the outer parking lot, I had to wait an extra long time to cross the street because I knew I wouldn't make it between the cars. Is this the same 60+ person who hiked 4 miles at 10,000 feet last summer and rafted 100 miles in Canyonlands? Who am I going to be next?
Life is beautiful but fragile.
Thanks for sharing from your hearts....let the healing continue.
Hugs and prayers,Joan
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Sheila,
you wrote--
Sending HUGS to my sister from New Rochelle to Long Island....... open the
window and catch it.
I just caught this today - just when I needed it -- thanks.I will add your SIL and her family and you to my prayer list which already includes two Long island ladies who were just dx'd with brain cancer.
--bedo -- you described my feelings. I have been floundering at work... I snapped at my colleague yesterday and he walked away to give me space. He was understanding but I was beside myself. I went to his office and apologized but he was a bit condescending. UGH UGH At the christmas party, I was talking to a colleague and I couldn't get the right words out. UGH again. And, like you, my IQ is questionable... glad to hear you are "back" and I hope you find a great job that meets your needs.
Ducky - I hear you when you said "I can't go another step" - we push on until the body and mind say "stop"... It's not just the drugs - it's the combo of drugs, emotion, stress, mental and physical fatigue, pain, discomfort, and just plain fear and loneliness.
At my church the other day, an old friend walked by and said "How ARE you? I didn't know..." she whispered...and I said in a normal voice, "oh, that I had cancer?"
[Nobody likes that word].So many of you shared about your losses...my MIL and my dad, 10 days apart, same hospital, a week before Christmas....and just 4 years after my infant son died. I used to really connect with Christmas but I "get through it" now, and especially this year.
Not to dwell on the sadness - but you all really helped me realize what the heck is going on inside my head and my heart.
(((((((Sisters)))))))
Joan0 -
Just wanted to send a big hug to Joan & ducky.......
HUGS!!!!
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Just dropping in to say hi and hope everyone is having a great weekend.
I have my 6 month MO appt first thing Monday morning - just routine but.......... Have a list of questions for him. I will make sure to wear something with pockets just in case anyone wants to come along.
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I'll be there with Christmas cookies Jo!0
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(((HUGS))) Odie, thanks.
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Barb58 - I love Christmas cookies - maybe someone will bring the milk???
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Thanks, Joan, and Odie....................how comforting to know you have someone and there thinking about you and wishing you the best..........................Joan, your right...........its the whole damn thing......................but we're gonna win this battle.........right..........we have to..........for each other.....hugs.
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Jo - count me in and I'll bring the milk.
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Today my daughter, grandaughter, and I made.......christmas cookies........butter, oatmeal, choc. chip, peanut butter, Italian ricotta cookies, brown edge wafers, and butterscotch oatmeal scotties...............what a job............but they turned out great................proud of myself, did not bring any home..............did eat a few while making them though...............great day...........I always call it Making Memories................
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Had a bad headache today while shopping. Ugh!
Of course I will be with you on Monday, Jo - you can count on me to be quiet & I'll try not to tickle you!
Joan, dear, what a tough time you are going through. I am glad you feel you can come here to be with us, to let us know what you are thinking & how you are trying to get through it because that is exactly why we are here. For those moments. The holidays can be so hard sometimes. & even though our loved ones are always with us, when December comes around, it is much more sad... Sending you a hug.
ducky, what a wonderful day you had. With your loved ones baking cookies .... priceless.
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In your pocket on Monday, Jo!
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Sheila, thanks for the picture, looks beautiful. Today in Sunday School we talked about the journey to Bethlehem and how the Bible is filled with journeys no one wanted to take. That's the journey we are all on now, but my journey is made easier by sharing it with you guys. I wish there was something I could do or say to make the journey easier for us all. I hope you all find some joy this Christmas. I'm finding it in time spent with my DH and kids, I love them so much.
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Jo,,,,I'll be there with my coffee. Good Luck tomorrow.
Hi Judy...you're Welcome. I'm wishing one day you can come to NY and see it yourself. Meanwhile it's so cold here only 19 degree.
Ducky...making memories is the most important thing hugs
Joan...i can relate to most everything you are saying. Sometimes even after 6 years i think about it. It seems like it was a bad dream but it wasn't.
(((TO ALL MY SISTERS))♥ hugs and Good Night.
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If you are an American Idol fan let me know there is a thread where we meet on those 2 nights
starting January 180 -
I'd like to join this group. This is my first day back to work after my lumpectomy last Wednesday (12/14) and feeling pretty good.
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Hawk...............Welcome.................sorry we have to meet this way, but you could not have come to a better spot, to meet the most wonderful women anywhere...........................they got me through, and are still keeping me going...............this is my "come to place", when I am happy, sad, down, depressed, needing a soft shoulder, or just learning more things about this dreadful disease.........................again, welcome, and come often.............your gonna love it here............hugs. 0
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Welcome Hawk - Sorry we have to meet this way but what a great group of ladies you have found. Our diagnosis are pretty similar. When are you starting rads?
Thanks everyone for going with me this morning. Sheila, the coffee was really good. Everything is fine and I don't have to go back for 6 months. He scheduled my mammo for the week before I see him so that is taken care of. Now I am really going to enjoy the holidays.
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...........Happy, happy Jo...................enjoy the holiday, and that Sheila has the best coffee, but I have the best Vodka..........................................hahahahahaha, and the RED SOLO CUPS. 0
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ducky - pass the vodka and I will take it in a Red Solo cup. LOL!
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Sending out my cards today...
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Great news, Jo! Happy dance!
Welcome, Hawk! Sorry you had to join the club, but you found a great group of women here. And like Ducky said, come visit often. You'll love it here!
Hugs everyone,
Sandi
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Welcome Hawk
Like all the other sisters said drop by anytime and if you have any questions please feel free to ask. We are not Doctors but we can answer practical questions. hugs
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Jo..what a relief no DR until June. Pocket was nice and cozy. And the company was good.♥
((Ducky)) ((Panmars))
All...Hugs
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Welcome Hawk
My kids came in this weekend and we had Christmas all weekend. I am so exhausted. They keep me up way too late and then we had to get up early because we had to go here and there for Christmas celebrations. Anyway I don't have any time off to spare so I had to come to work today and I can barely keep my eyes open. I have PT at 3 and then I have a Christmas party that I would really like to get out of but don't think I can.
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Good news Jo! I will be so glad when I get to that every six months point.
Welcome Hawk! Though I'm sorry you have to join us these ladies are wonderful and have helped me not feel so alone in all of this. They share practical advice and make me laugh sometimes...
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HI - I just joined a few hours ago. I am 2 1/2 yrs. cancer free. I have a gazillion questions about preventing recurrance, Tamoxifen, Dr. Budwig's protcol on flax and cottage cheese, and don't even know if this is the place to begin, or another forum.
I would so appreciate it if somebody could give me some info of where to look or which forum to join so I can answer these questions.
Thank you - I am soooooo glad and grateful I found you guys.
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Hi Sunny-One. Welcome to the group. These are fantastic ladies and I know some of them can answer your questions. There is a thread for us Tamoxifen girls. It is called Bottle O' Tamoxifen. Please join us over there. We tend to party alot but also can get serious and get down to answering all those questions you must have.
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