CALLING ALL STAGE I SISTERS
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I was wondering the same thing! Dx, surgery.....or even end of treatment. When do we go from a cancer patient to a "survivor"?
I think I'll go with surgery date because at that stage with no positive nodes and clear margins, there was NED0 -
Hi my friends, just checking in after laying low...
Vacation to San Francisco: accomplished
Draft of book for publisher: done and sent
Now I can get back to trying to undo all the insanity that my body has been through. Ducky, I hear you loud & clear. I had a consult with a BC survivorship nurse manager. She told me Femara doesn't cause cognitive impairment or depression. I went home and read the circular. ALL OF THE ABOVE including do not operate machinery while on Femara....(don't drive for 5 years?)
I really wrestled with the long plane trips (swelling) time change (everything off) missing meds (forgetting what day it was) eating everything (gaining back all i lost) ... but the worst is my emotional breakdowns and everyone noticing.
I can't go into details without writing a book....but I had comments at work before I left about my stress level....I had continuous comments from my DS in CA about my stress and constant chatter....My DH doesn't realize when he speaks harshly that I will either attack like a lion or cry like a baby...
Thanks, Femara.....I am not the same person.
Yup, it's coming up on a year for many of us. For me, Dx in July. Lots of medical stuff coming up here. Dermatologist, Gyn, colonoscopy, endoscopy, MO, RO, BS, PCP...then I start all over again on another long trip end of July.
No complaints....just frustration. Can't multi-task at all. But I am working, mostly healthy, got great kids...(so why do I feel so out of control?)
I really enjoyed catching up on everyone's comments and concerns.
Kaara, glad you made it to NC and that you are keeping in touch!
So glad for those who are getting clear checkups.
Hugs to all,Joan811
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Went out to take pictures of the lovely flowers in our yard. Tripped by a vine. Landed on my butt and arm. Now I can't sit. could be worse. I could have broke something. Tomorrow, DH and I are suppose to go to a class on coping with with the cancer journey. Was looking forward to it, but not if I can't sit down.
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Good Morning....................well I'm 1/2 way through this coffee, and all of a sudden something doesn't taste right................bet the frigging "cream" is expired......................scalding hot, and burning my tonsils I didn't notice it, but now that it is cooling down, it tastes like "shit"..................gonna go check the dates on the rest of the stuff in my fridge....................found Activa yougart the other day dated........Feb 2012, and pudding dated 12/2011..................I really have to stop buying "bulk" at BJ's.................I'm one friggin person...........so I either eat some, and throw the rest away, or give it away.......................but honestly.................I pay almost as much for 6 of stuff in the supermarket, as I do for 12 + of something at BJ's..................
Example........I got 6 head of romaine for $4.99 at BJ's, and at Acme on Friday romaine was $1.99 a head.........so you do the math.............sometimes I split it with my girls, but once its in my house forget it.......it never leaves...........
Ok, how the hell did I get carried away on this subject..................Lord I do need help................no wonder my kids call me "Rambling Rosie".....................must be the medicine.......................hey, hey, hey,..........it sounds like a good excuse doesn't it...............................hahahahahahahha..........hugs.
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Morning everyone!
Joan: Glad to see you back, and so happy that you had a nice vacation. You can always lose the weight. I always say I have to lose an extra 5 lbs before I go on vacation so I can gain it back...hehe!
Ducky: We have the same dilemma with buying in bulk, but you are so right...the supermarket prices are at the gouging level these days, and it's no better in NC! I don't have a problem now with the produce we buy in bulk because if I don't use it, I put it in the vita mix and make a smoothie to drink, or a soup, so one way or the other, it goes down. They have a Fresh Market here...can only imagine what that is going to set me back:( The price we pay for eating organic.
Today I'm going to attempt to start an herb garden under a tree off my kitchen...we'll see how that goes. Probably I could buy the herbs at the store when I need them for much less, but it wouldn't be as much fun now would it?
Have a great day everyone!
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Kaara, there really is something special about an herb garden...and the inspiration it can generate.
If you have room for it, one herb I especially like having fresh is the bay laurel. I often finely mince the supple young leaves and use them in soups, sauces and gravies. More flavor and no fishing out the leathery dried leaves! I also like mincing the fresh leaves of the rosemary.
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chabba: Thanks...I'll have to look for it at the garden store. I'm setting out plants rather than seeds because it is so late in the season and I want to see results quickly. I'm also doing a couple of varieties of cherry tomatoes...yellow and red.
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I was at a Cancer Survivor event yesterday. You are a cancer survivor right after your diagnosis! I felt kind of funny signing the banner and after my signature adding "3 months", lol. There were so many others with 6, 12, 19, 22 year survivors it made me feel a little silly, lol. It is encouraging to see so many "long-timers" on the banner.
The event was fun and it was a beautiful day in Chicagoland. Mid 80s and sunshine!
Hope you are all doing great! It has been a while since I posted here but I've been lurking.
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Valerie: YES!!! I like it! Survivor has a much more positive feel than "patient"!
....how about " victorious warrior goddesses"??? lol!
Ducky...you are too funny! In California we have Costco and Big Lots.....again sometimes it's cheaper to buy per unit....but you have to weigh how much is outdated (Big Lots).... And how much will be wasted before you can use it (Costco) unless you have someone to share it.0 -
Chachamom.......your right............in some of the stores that have bulk, the expiration dates are rather close, and you do have to be careful................I told my daughter I thought the Feb. date on the Activa must have been near when I bought it..........she said ....possibly......I know ...............really Feb to the end of May is hardly a good expiration date...............I have to be more careful the next time.................Especially with the refrigerated stuff...............that is the one that you have to watch.........and the produce.
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I have been super busy with my kids but missing y'all!
It just took me a while to catch up!
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hi, I am brand new to this site. I am a 41 yo mom of 2. I don't have breast cancer but my mom who is 62 just got diagnosed with stage 1, the lump is less than an inch. She is getting a lumpectomy and then radiation. Of course I am worried sick for her and for me. I got my baseline at 35 (just a recommendation from the doc) and have had 2 biopsies since. Both were fine luckily. We both have very dense breast tissue but my mom was a surprise. She never had any issues and we have absolutely no history of breast cancer or any other. My grandmother just passed at 89 and still has brothers and sisters living. My father was adopted so i dont know about his side. my grandmother never had a mamogram or went for yearly gyne exams (i know not a good idea).
As we await the lumpectomy, my mom got an MRI this morning and they found another one not shown on the mammo or sonogram. its really tiny,obviously another biopsy coming for her. by the way the lmph nodes all appear to be fine. Could this one be just a cyst or is that how breast cancer spreads. For some reason, i just thought that the lump you have gets larger but i guess that is a stupid thought. wishful thinking maybe.
Well all of us our going on a cruise and the lumpectomy has to wait until our return. Any ideas on how to deal with mom. Talk about it or ignore it and try to have a good time? She and my dad have been married for 44 years and we are all very close. i dont want her to think i am blowing it off but i dont want to keep bringing it up either. All the grandkids are going so maybe that will suffice to take her mind away.
Also i have no idea how to find any responses to this! Thank you for letting me chat.
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careyomomof2: I'm so sorry you mom is having to go through this. I was dx last year just befoe we were planning to go on a cruise as well. I decided to wait until I returned to have further testing and surgery. We went on the cruise and never talked about my dx or what I was going to have done. Someone on another thread called it a "cancer free zone" when you go on vacation. You don't talk about it unless of course your mom wants to talk.
You mom will be fine...it was caught at a very early stage, and now she just needs to get through the surgery and tx. Encourage her to join this site as she will get a lot of comfort and support from women who share the same dx.
All the best to you! Sending prayers and positive energy for you and your family!
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careyomomof2 ...Hi....The best way to treat your mother the way she wants to be treated....
When i was DX my daughters were in their mid 20's and I told them I need to be treated as normal as possible....told the the same thing to close friends....they all respected my wishes...this didn't mean don't help or care for me but also don't call me you poor thing...
You know your mothers personality...if she wants to talk during your vacation listen to her....
and one more thing I can tell you from my own experience try hard not to say ""Oh I know everything is gonna be OK" Acknowledge she has BC....
i hope I was able to help you just a little bit.
I was the first one to be DX in my family....and I did almost everything right..except i'm overweight
Take care of yourself...We are always here for you.....
hugs♥
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Hi Carey:
Like the other have said....let your Mom be your guide. If she wants to talk about it she will, if she doesn't bring it up she may want to have a "cancer free" vacation.
I had a very small (actually 2) lumps and had a lumpectomy, senteniel node biopsy and 35 radiation treatments. I just wanted to get a plan, get started and get it done.
I'm down to just checkups now...my first mammo since diagnosis is in September and I'm trying to get my family to not make a big fuss about it so maybe (lol), I won't get to stressed out about it.
You are so sweet to post and I would encourage you to get your Mom to join our group. She doesn't have to make up her mind right away, she can just read the posts she's interested in and she will find there is great support here.
I found that our family and friends mean well but they've not walked in my shoes so they really don't understand how those words "you have breast cancer" affect everything from that day forward. It's not all bad though, I've found blessings by being diagnosed. I've learned to appreciate each and every day like never before.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful vacation.
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Hi, Carey! I agree with the others that let your mom set the tone. I went on a family trip that was planned months before my diagnosis....and although for the most part I enjoyed it being a setting where I could forget about the cancer MOST of the time....it would have been weird...and uncomfortable if it wasn't discussed at all! My sisters and mom never brought it up....but I found I brought it up when I was feeling good...like joking in the pool that if my "foob" came out of my suit...please get it for me! That way it wasn't ignored...but I was in control of what I was ready to talk about. BTW: we had some serious talks too....but my family always let me initiate and set the subject direction. Bless you for caring so much....hugs!
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thanks to all responses. And to Filterlady, you said the exact words that i have been thinking for my mom. How will she walk around in her daily life in the back of her mind knowing that she has breast cancer. I just know what i went through waiting for the biopsy results. Every thought about my daughter was like will i be around when she needs her first bra? its just so scary for my mom, for all of you and now for me. When i go back this summer, i will have to update my status to "yes i have family history." It reminds me when i was once sitting in teh mammo waiting room and a bunch of woman were conversing about BC, and one said "history has to start somewhere." Don't get me wrong, i am really upset for my mom but now i am really upset for me and for my daughter. Is that wrong? I'm crying just typing that. And i really do think that this time it will be fine for her. Caught early, no lymph node issues but the reoccurence (sp?)possibility scares me even more.
Sheila888: my mom didn't do anything right. She is absolutely gorgeous woman that smokes and smokes, drinks alot, no excercise and has become overweight. We were actually working on all of those issues with rounds of doctor appts (all good, who knew, i actually thought it would be lung cancer or liver....) when we discovered the BC. complete surprise.
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carey: Maybe your mom didn't do everything right, but there are those of us who never smoked, were not overweight, and exercised in the correct proportions, and still got bc. Don't let her have a guilt trip about that. BC is not very selective in choosing it's victims. It might be a great opportunity for your mom to use this dx as a reason to change her diet and lifestyle habits so as to prevent a recurrence. Certainly leading a healthier lifestyle can't hurt!
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Right on, Kaara! Nothing makes us immune...guilt only robs us of much needed energy! I had no family history, no smoking, active and (otherwise) healthy. The only "risk factor" I could find potentially was the fact that I had an abortion at age 19. I thank God that I took a post-abortion grief counseling 12 years ago!!! I was carrying so much unacknowledged guilt for so many years that affected my emotional and relational health. I can't imagine the self torture I might have endured if I hadn't resolved that issue long ago! Thank you, God!!M
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So Sheila, seriously I want to be where your topper picture is! Is that in Hawaii somewhere?
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Eph3_12....................no girlfriend, its my front yard..............................................lol,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hahahahahha........................tell the truth Sheila........you took the picture the last time you visited......................right..........right.............
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careyomomof2 - It's pretty amazing to be on "this side" of breast cancer. When a dear friend had her bilateral mastectomies a year before I was diagnosed I think I was more freaked out than I was when I was diagnosed myself. I realized that I had an erroneous mind connection that breast cancer = death, but I definitely don't feel that way now that I've gone through it myself. Things have come a long way, treatments are very tailored to each woman's diagnosis and needs, and this is all doable especially with early diagnosis. Your mom will know more once all the pathology comes back and a plan is in place. This is a very difficult time...gathering all the information, meeting new doctors and learning new terminology, and trying to absorb it all and make decisions. It sucks big time, but it is what it is and you just have to take it one step and one day at a time and keep moving forward.
Everyone is different and gets to choose how to deal with this diagnosis so I can only share my own experience. Not everyone is a rah-rah pink ribbon sort of breast cancer patient (including me). I found that I was the one who often had to lighten the mood because family and friends were afraid that acting normal or happy or talking about anything but breast cancer around me would upset me. It seemed to make me feel worse when everyone kept asking how I was feeling, was everything OK, etc. So I guess I would suggest being understanding that your mom might be on edge, but keep on living life and keep her in the loop with things good or bad. Don't be afraid to be lighthearted, but not about the cancer diagnosis (that rarely works).
I had very dense breasts and had multiple areas show up on my MRI (none showed on mammogram). Most MRI findings are benign. In dense breasts they usually turn out to be fibroadenomas. So, chances are this new area is benign, but they likely will have to biopsy it with MRI guidance since that's the only way it showed up.
I am a huge fan of breast MRI for dense breasts. I credit it for finding my cancers at an early stage and it is a big reason I have done so well. If it would put your mind at ease you could pursue having one as well. Insurance companies don't like to pay for them for screening because they do find lots of "things" which end up having to be biopsied and usually are benign. As you mentioned, however, you now have a family history so it might be a little easier fight. Just a thought as you sound very worried...
Have a lovely cruise. Sounds like a nice family vacation will be great for all of you!!!
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Ducky, I'd like to believe you are one lucky girl, but somehow, it's not ringing true! (About the front yard only)
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TinaT-beautifully expressed!
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Joni.....Honestly I don't know where the topper picture is from.....
Edited to let you know I changed the picture to Waikiki
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yes Tina it was a beautiful response. All of you sound so courageous and positive, i will encourage my mother to read the posts. My mother sounds okay right now but its hard to tell as she is finishing her "snowbird" stint in Fla after the cruise and i am in Pittsburgh. My dad said she is nervous but she is not telling me that so i am anxious to give her a hug. She really likes her doc in Fla so is doing the lumpectomy there and then the radiation here in Pittsburgh. Not sure of radiation side effects but at least i can see her each day.
Okay, again not being selfish but my fear is mounting. And so TinaT, i will address the MRI issue but i am aware of the false positive results. One of my biopsy's was for a suspicious mass and the other was in a different boob for these things that look like salt dots. (forget the official name). So even before my mother, I get stressed out over the yearly check ups. Now that i officially have a family history, I just can't get my mind away from "I may have cancer growing inside me" even when doing the most normal things so i can't imagine how my mom feels.
With that being said, i can't tell you all how much i admire all of you.I have to get packing, leaving on Friday and needless to say my husband doesn't pack anything (I am still lucky to have him though!) and we are staying a few extr days in Fla after so i will be gone for a while. But when i get back, i am going to learn more about BC (i chose not to during the biopsies) but I am looking at your information and i don't really understand what it means. Like these grades and 0/2 nodes, HER+ etc.
JillT, do you mind if i ask your age. Sorry if thats inappropriate.
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Hi Carey:
It's hard not to think about my breast cancer since my left breast is smaller than my right....not by much but still. But everytime I see it I thank God that mine was found early by a great radiologist that didn't have the "wait and see" attitude. I continue to have a great medical team that gives me that "warm fuzzy" everytime I have an appointment.
The thought that it can return does cross my mind from time to time but I just believe that if it ever does, then I'll deal with it the same way I've dealt with this. I'll get a plan, put it into action and get on with my life.
I and my DH both have become very involved with raising funds for research, we go to a breast cancer support group (they've been my rock too) and try to raise awareness of the importance of regular health screenings for everyone.
I was diagnosed on 9/16/11 and my DH and I decided that we needed to do whatever we could to make this journey as easy as possible for us both. Our town has a great day of celebration, fund raising, etc every October for breast cancer awareness month.
My DH ran in a high heel race for men and I entered the decorate an umbrella contest for survivors. He looked so funny running in those heels. There was even 1 man that dressed up as well. I won second place in the umbrella contest. It was a great day and I really didn't realize how many people come out to support the cause.
We made it a family affair at our Relay for Life. Me, my DH, our younges son, my brother from out of town, his daughter and her son really had a great time. My nieces Momma lost her battle with brain cancer in January. I got to walk my first survivors lap and this year the survivors walked a half lap and then their caregivers walked the last half lap with them. The survivors wore purple shirts and the caregivers had a purple sash....which I hope my DH will wear when he runs in those high heels this year!
Have a great vacation!
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Carey...After the lumpectomy you learn all the information......
Today even vegetarians are getting BC.....yes some habits might contribute to it but it's false...
Keep us posted or when the time is right maybe your mother wants to join us here.........
I'm wishing you and the family peaceful vacation......
Hugs ♥
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Carey, I'm 57.......and Sheila, also a vegan.... :-)
FilterLady: what a great attitude. You are indeed blessed!0 -
Prior to this wild BC ride I had dense breast tissue and Fibrocystic Breast Disease. I had been having mammos every couple years since I was 30. I have micro-calcifications which they will watch until??? I have been having MRIs for the past couple of years, don't know if this year I go back to mammos or not. They have sure come a long way in detection and monitoring, and I am so happy they have. 2003 seems so far away, and yet I still think about BC everyday.
Like FilterLady, I had a proactive dr and didn't have to wait and see. If it everdoes return, I will face it with a lot more information and support thanks to BC.org and all of you ladies here!
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