The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Suzanne, I had a few people tell me the same thing, that they were 'jealous' that I was going to have perky breasts. How ridiculous.
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TonLee you are not 1 out of 8. That stat is for all women of all ages. At our age its more like less than 1 out of 50. A month before my diagnosis I was kidding with friend. After she said she felt like she was going to die young I told her I was concerned I was going to live into my 90's… and I can't afford to live to be that old. Yeah talk about karma.
BTW my friends mother is in her late 80's and beat cancer years ago. I forgot what kind but it wasn't breast cancer. I think my friend is going to live longer than she thinks.
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I've had a couple of co-workers tell me they'd like to have perky breasts and a tummy tuck, too (I'm doing a DIEP reconstruction). My standard comeback is "If you'll take my breast cance, I'll take saggy boobs." That normally changes the topic of conversation!
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Radiation Oncologist I know I've vented before about the personality void I have experienced in the radiation dept. However, before my lumpectomy I told the nurse I refuse to see the "crazy one". I was scheduled for the wire location with a large, Shrek like radiologist that was so nice to me. When I returned to pre-op I reported to all that it was nice to find one that "actually had a personality".
Went to meet the radiation oncologist last week. Mind you I was in a funk, finding out I had a margin that needed tweaking. The first sentence out of his mouth was "Has anyone said anything to you about a mastectomy?". I told him that my BS and onco recommended a lumpectomy and was he now saying they were both wrong. He did a reverse and we got along fine. He is a tiny little man that looks like the devil with his black facial hair. When I told my BS about this he said "that's why they don't work with patients". He offered to refer me elsewhere but I think we'll be fine. I'm sure my Rad chart has now be flagged. libray lil
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TonLee- I resent I got the "pink ribbon" disease too- I've never been a girly girl- I work in male dominated fields, my main passion in life is long distance backpacking- also very male dominated. I rarely wear makeup or nail polish or dress pretty- I'm very much a tomboy. And I've always marched to my own drum- I consider myself an "outlier"- someone who doesn't fall into the statisitical trends. So to get the 1 in 8 women disease- crap! how did that happen? My only consolation is I got it at 35, where its something like 1 in 250 women.
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Oh, I've been waiting all day for a place to put this link! I, too, grew up a tomboy, and I rarely tolerate pink even in a non-BC setting. (I don't even like pink lemonade.) So imagine how tickled I was to see this book review as I was wandering the 'net this morning:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/23/books/review/Paul-t.html
The title of the book is, "Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture." I might have to buy it.
otter
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Leah, I know it doesn't come with wings...I wish other people did.
Breast Cancer is not pleasant. I can't say it is the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life.Lago, well that makes me feel a little better. lol Nah, not really.
Al and Otter...I feel ya!
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Otter: Pretty funny though your post ended up on a pink background! I totally agree about the "pink" and the obsession of our culture with bc getting so much attention. There are so many other cancers and illnesses that get zero publicity. At this point, if people don't know to get mamos and see your doc you've been living under a rock!
Did anyone happen to see the report on the news tonight (sensationalized of course) about implants causing cancer? The stats, when you actually listened to the whole report, was that 60 women in 10 million got lymphoma. That's pretty low odds, if you ask me. How many are going to freak out that who had reconstruction (I did which why I listened to start off with) without stopping to think it out?
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Hadley....sooooo exciting!!! Good luck...as for the questions,,,,we don't ask them in Canadian interviews because of confidentiailty laws. ( at least inthe field I work in) so I cannot be of any help but there is a link on this site somewher ethat talks about legal righta dn disclosure so maybe read that before your itnerview. Good luck!
Sandee
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Hadley!!yeah!! im keepin my fingers croosed, and knees bent also.. we've been talking about statistics here.. good one, Jane.. they're more likely to get run over by a bus FOR SURE here!!IMLMAO..Leah, im totally keeping that one.. bc doesn't come with wings and a halo; but hell, and a wig.. company here.. will be back later.. 3jays0
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Congratulations, Hadley!!!
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AWESOME News Hadley!!! So happy for you!
I was laid off just before my dx and interviewed 2 weeks before my BMX. When they called to offer me the job I was at CTCA getting a 2nd opinion! When I came in to talk terms I told the owner straight out that I had cancer, was going in for surgery in two weeks and would be starting chemo in 6 weeks. I told her I had no idea what to expect or when I would be able to work. She took a few days and called me back to offer me the job, to start when I was able!
You are much further along in your tx so you may not need to go into any big details, but just wanted to let you know there are good people out there.
I was hired in June and did not start working FT until October. I work in a small insurance office with the owner and one coworker. They even hired temporary help until I was able to work a full schedule. I have been incredibly blessed and am praying that this job will be the perfect fit for you!
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O2bhealthy, that's great that your boss was so understanding. And congrats again, Hadley! Regarding the disclosure, as someone mentioned, there's a legal thread on bco. Also, there's a website called Cancer and Careers (or something like that) that you might want to check out (you can google it).
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Hadley...Congrats!!!!! You'll be great
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Hadley, yay for you! Dont' be scared abotu the drug testing, they only want to know if you take any medication that might give false positives to the test. I dont' think any of the treatments we're on gives that.
But you need to be careful, because I think the law is that you need to disclose any medical condition youmgiht have to the employer from the beginning, because if something happens, and there is worker's comp involved, if you didn't disclose it, it's trouble. Besides, they are required by law to make any adjustments in your workplace for you to be able to work.
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Pink background? I'm only seeing white and a kinda faded yellow. Can we change the 'skin' of the site?
I'm so happy for you, Hadley! I love good news like that.
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HOORAY for HADLEY!!!!!!!!
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Wouldn't 60 women in 10 million get Lymphoma ANYWAY? Hey, I'm just sayin.....
Go get 'em Hadley! The people who DO the drug testing would be under HIPPA....
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yeah Hadley, you did it..... Yippee, Yahoo, wahoooooey
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Hadley That's awesome news! Congratulations. Make sure you don't eat any poppy seeds or the drug test will indicate you are a pot head
bcincolorado just read the article this morning. It's still inconclusive and even it it does the incidence is pretty low. Not sure I have enough breast tissue left to even worry after my BMX. Seriously I think it's more likely for us to get some kind of cancer from our chemo or tamoxofin and those stats are pretty low too. Granted implants are not needed to save a life.
Here's the article:
FDA explores possible link between breast implants, cancer
By Andrew Zajac
Washington Bureau
January 26, 2011
http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/la-na-breast-implants-20110127,0,919799.story0 -
The report said both saline and silicone implants...
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I'm not going to add this to my list of worries....leukemia is a side effect of chemo....so having cancer once makes us more at risk for other cancers....I have silicone implants and I know that the recent research on their safety is pretty good.....so either I will get cancer or not...did I ever tell you that I hate BC!!!!
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I think this "latest discovery" is just another hogwash from the FDA. 60 cases in so many millions? Considering how the disease appears in people who have no implants whatsoever, that makes an increased risk of what? 0.000004%? ridiculous.
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Hadley, they can't NOT continue to hire you for Tamoxifen. If you said COCAINE, then maybe they could reconsider. It's probably a way to make sure you are "legal".
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Hadley, as I said before - those questions are only to ascertain you are not taking and prescription drugs that might affect the drug test results. The testing agency is bound by HIPAA not to reveal anything else in your case.
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Congrats Hadley
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It sounds like you will be in very professional hands Hadley, perhaps even caring ones. Allow it to happen, sweetie!
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wow!o2b.. what a great boss you must have.. and how qualified you must be that she hired you regardless!! i'm so glad for Hadley, as well.. 3jays0
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Congratulations, Hadley!
As for disclosing about having bc, it's my understanding that you only need to disclose if your condition in some way affects your work. As in needing reasonable accommodations in order to do your job. Just my two cents' worth.
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Hadley: Congratulations!!!!! More like YEA!!!! I'm so happy for you.
I think I'd be right up-front about the doctor's appontments. My company lets me flex time; if I have a doctor's appt. one day and take an hour or so off, then I can make it up within the time period.
Good luck!
Julie
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