The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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im on the wrong computer for the bus.. i liked days so much, she told me where to go...to get the bus gals, clean out you're heads. i owe you one tommorrow.. kelben, i love that: "no, im not cold, i have a hat on" it CAN be that simple HAHA 3jays0
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cant get the other one, but this will do.! hope it helps, ladies 0 -
Thank you! I needed the bus.
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I swear, I'm going to find a pic of a bus, a small one, and frame it and put it in my office to remind me that some people just belong under the bus. Everyone will think I'm nuts, I'm sure, unless I think up a really creative and unique explanation for it.
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Are we waiting for Day's bus?
I snatched it (copy-paste) from her Jan. 24th post on this thread. I didn't know it was possible to screen-copy something and then re-post it. I cannot take credit for this bus, but I really do like it. Thank you, Day! (And, thanks for starting this thread.)
otter
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My doctor put me on a different antidepressant. It helped me from dismembering someone in my family. In my mind I kept throwing them under the bus.
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Thanks, otter!
You have no idea how many times I closed my eyes and imagined the roaring lion-bus coming in full speed and swallowing someone!
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Ok it's not something someone said but I received a late Christmas gift from a relative who knows I have BC. It was a bath set - body wash, body lotion and shampoo and conditioner. Still totally bald ya know...0
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I had to lol Letlet....shampoo and conditioner??
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Maybe the relative was expressing his/her confidence that your hair will come back in soon? Yeah, I know, probably not.
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Dear Annapc,
When the PTA Mom said your cancer was "the elephant in the room"... I wish I were there to say "Well that explains all the shi_ around here, doesn't it?" LOL
It reminds me of my Mom and some PTA ladies. One of them asked about my Dad being an amputee, and proceeded to ask her which leg is was. My Mom in her very proper English accent replied, "I never really noticed". I wish I were as quick witted as she was sometimes!
Nothing surprises me anymore after reading this thread- try to stay strong!
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thanks otter..thats' thebus. i love the concept that it "eats" ple, rather than running over them. but i like the other one, imaging im the one doing the throwing!! i sent it to my oics in the laptop, so shoul
d be able to access it now.. if not, you can chime in with yours, anytime, also..hehehe 3jays
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Otter ... the bus is perfect!
Valgal ... absolutely perfect comeback!
I would have liked to keep my bc private; however, once my youngest sister knew she told everyone - and I do mean everyone from her friends to strangers in the supermarket. I'm so glad I could provide a topic of conversation for her.
I have the opposite problem - since about a month after my surgery it has not been mentioned - at all and when, right after the double mastectomy I tried to bring it up the subject was quickly changed or I was told not to obsess about it. Now I suppose they like to think of it as cosmetic surgery to get rid of those pesky breasts!
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Exactly like me Kathleen!!! My family hasn't said a word since BEFORE my surgery. Like they've swept it under the rug as something shameful.... and to think I felt guilty that I had cancer so soon after my Dad died of lung cancer!!!
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"I never really noticed" is a GREAT comeback! I admit I often fall back on one I heard long ago in another context: "Why do you suppose any one would ask such a question?" If I'm feeling snarky it's "Why do you suppose a (fill in the blank with the person's idea of themself) ask such an inappropriate question?" If you look at them with interest as if it's important to you to find out the answer you get to see and hear some very entertaining expressions!
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shampoo and conditioner omg lol that is the first giggle I have had in 3 days, why is stupid allowed to walk so freely on the streets
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TonLee, NativeMainer,Kymm. I almost wished someone was filming me when I opened the present because I stared at it for a while in disbelief. It really is true that while people who have not had cancer may sympathize or emphathize with you, it's not until you've had cancer yourself that you would truly know. I'm trying to think about all my interactions with people with cancer before my own diagnosis and hope that I wasn't an ass in trying to say something nice. Maybe I can use the shampoo and conditioner on my wigs. LOL
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lol letlet you should regift it to your friend for her birthday
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JB that's awesome! Even better if they provided a nice bottles of ............... (whatever is your favourite).
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JB you should join us girls in the what about drinking thread
your martini glass would fit in nicely0 -
Now, now, you know you're not supposed to promote alcohol to breast cancer ladies. I stopped completely the night before my surgery. I didn't want a 30% increase in recurrence if I kept drinking!!! And they consider too much more than 2 drinks a day. Heck! I was just getting warmed up at 2 drinks - what's the point of stopping there???
But, I'm ER+ so I may be different than some of you. We all make our own choices..... 0 -
Barbe, I've gotten to know (and love) your sense of humor - so when you said "I stopped drinking completely the night before my surgery" I fully expected you to add "and started again the night after".
Yeah, I know you have a serious side. Actually I love both.
Leah
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Actually, it would have been the night before the night before....because you can't drink 24 hours before anaesthetic.....hehehehehe
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I was thinking the same as Leah.
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How about the few times I've confided about my sisters abandoning me (or felt compelled to tell them when they ask about my sisters) and the person replies "I can't imagine MY sister(s) doing that" or "My sister(s) have been so supportive to me during my cancer treatments". Yeah, that really makes me feel so much better about the situation. A simple "I'm sorry" or "What rotten sisters" would suffice. Don't rub it in that your sister(s) is (are) so much better that mine. After all, that goes without saying.
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Good luck to you Hadley in your new job. A non-toxic atmosphere is so important.
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Yes, good luck to you Hadley. I've worked in a really toxic atmosphere and it destroys you little by little to you have no self esteem left.
I think some people don't want to talk about it because deep inside they think it might be contagious! They wonder what you did to "deserve" this. Like it is a scourge for past sins! I want to scream "wake up - the Middle Ages are over"! And family members can be the worse offenders.
You would think someone would know, just using commen sense, that shampoo and conditioner were not appropriate 'gifts' for you.
If it were not for my 'family' here I would go crazy. Whoops, too late! But seriously, thanks for listening and being supportive.
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Hadley, so glad that this job seems like the right fit!
I think we've all been there with the chip thing. You try to get healthy in one way, and then compensate in another. I've been using Greek yogurt as my base instead of sour cream for chip dip and then stir in part of an onion soup packet or a ranch packet. The Greek yogurt is thick, naturally fat free, and has tons of protein. I ate it all the time with fruit pre-chemo, but since a bad experience with a yogurt smoothie during chemo I can't stomach yogurt very well so try to sneak it in to my diet by adding it in mashed potatoes & for chip dip. (I can use all the probiotics I can get to help out my tummy.) Good luck in finding chips that are a little more healthy a lot of it is trial and error--let us know if you find any good ones!
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so here is a question.....or an anecdote..not sure which it will end up as ...anyhow...a 'toxic' friend I threw under the bus called me on Friday to ask me to go to a concert with her....acted like everything was fine...proceeded to tell me how rough her past few months were (and granted....they were rough..father moving in with her brother a 5 hour drive away so she feels isolated, her best friend being diagnosed with cancer of the lungs and she had a major break in in both her house and massage centre...)...all righteous reasons....But I don't really want to go....doesn't matter tome that she was having a shitty time too...How incredibly selfish is that of me? I have sent many people to her (she is an excellent massage therapist) but I switched last week to someone else...couldn't do it...anyhow....the day I cancelled my appointment with her, my breast was incredibly sore..the idea of lying on my belly to get my back fixed up was unbearable so I cancelled and said as much. Anyhow...here she is calling me to go to a concert....said 'she's back' and the crisis is over....I am not a vindictive person. I actually rarely get angry...seems like a wasted emotion to me in many ways....but holy crap! I was ther efor her this past fall (pre-radiation) when she thought she had felt a lump and went for mammogram...spoke to her nightly while she awaited the results....and then not a word during radiation....and now...well, I am feeling something....guilt at not wanting to renew the friendship when she has clearly had a rough time too....nauseated at the idea of doing something with her, actually....don't trust that she will not pry into how I feel about cancer and the rest of my year....not even sure why I am verbalizing all of this actually...now that I read it the answer is obvious....so I guess th ereal question under all this is when the hell did I become such a people pleaser and what the hell am I so afraid of in saying ' sorry. I really do not want to go to the concert with you?...." Fear of having to explain myself to her?....oy....serves me right for answering the damn phone, hmm?
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Sandee--all of us go through something like this during our journey. So much gets taken out of us literally, physically, and emotionally. We spend time recovering. We discover that people we think of as friends take from us and never give, and we discover that we cannot give without getting back. Your massage therapist, while a great massage therapist, is a taker in the friendship department. Your feelings of not wanting to go to the concert with her are from your subconscious which has already figured out that when you spend time with this person you give, but never get back. Your subconscious is trying to protect you from being drained at a time when you don't have the extra to give away. Your fear that she will pry into your bc journey is a sign that part of you knows she won't be helpful, that she will pry not to be helpful, but to somehow build up herself. Don't go. Just say thanks but I can't make it. No elaboration needed. Don't waste your precious time and energy on her.
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