The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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I wrote to the mods and made several suggestions-----I watch far too many Forencics programs. Don't delete and don't respond. The mods are evaluating situation with the Tech/Geeks. If we delete the letters until they are ready to do something with them . We may be deleting EVIDENCE. So, just let them hang there until we hear from mods. This could be VERY INTERESTING. Hope we catch there cluckin asses.
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Johnson too? All three of mine have been Smith's!
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I got those same comments as you Juliebell22. I just got diagnosed in March 11. its is scary waiting for the results. They found in both breasts and a lymph node. Finally I'm on my way to my first chemo this Thurs. But I really had to push to get this all done quickly. Good luck in all your tests and scans that you get an answer soon and treatment plan set out. Keep us posted. This sight made me laugh so much. Something that will help is to join a Chemo group once you know when you are starting. I'm learing so much from the brave women who are a few weeks ahead of me in the April 2011 group.
LindaJ
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Linda- these spammers are pulling out all the stops....cure cancer....really? Wouldn't it be nice!
As for these threads...exactly right...grab a group that is going through the same thing or who are a few steps or many steps ahead of you..they will help guide you through.
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Riley702
I have too. I am always open minded to new things, I don't appreciate being solicited to purchase a cure for 100.00 over and over. Seems all of the letters that I have received have been in the wee hours of the morning. I won't delete my letters.0 -
The mods said they were all banned, and to report any more PMs we get. Spammers and con artists don't usually give up quickly, though.
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I all. I got my first spam and thanks to you all I knew what it was. i didn't open, should I leave it there?
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i got one too, with a new name.. i dunno what to do either, so im just leaving it till someone tells us... 3jays
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I'm so disappointed. That song "you find out who your friends are" is so true.
Went to an event- Relay. Run into a bunch of people including some "friends."
Was told "oh yeah, I was told you had surgery" (don't know who told them, but it's pretty apparent since it was a BMX). "why didn't you call me?" (didn't realize I needed to send out invites for someone to care even though they knew I was dx and was going to have surgery soon). "When was your surgery?" (over three weeks ago, and they had known about dx over a month ago). Then, here's the kicker- "call me and keep me informed cause you know I care" (really?)
My reply was your welcome to call me. I have been busy with appointments, kids, recovering from BMX and getting ready for a hyst and have a hard time keeping up with things and whom I have told what to recently.
It's been two weeks, no call. Did I mention this is my second dx and the "friend" knows what I went thru last time?
What's the bus schedule so I can invite them to stay off mine!?0 -
I got another of those cancer cure spams just now.Did not read it just deleted it. 0
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mebmarj, I can't find the bus, but here's a bitchslap for her!
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MebmarJ....................................All of them...................into the fire..............burn baby burn......................what stupid statements......................I'll give them a good push.
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I hadn't received any pm spam and was feeling like, what is wrong with me? doesn't anyone want to take MY MONEY to cure MY cancer for $100? and today I found one from Jessicasmith62
Julie E
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Apr 26, 2011 08:31 pm sas-schatzi wrote:
A minute ago sas-schatzi wrote: I wrote to the mods and made several suggestions-----I watch far too many Forencics programs. Don't delete and don't respond. The mods are evaluating situation with the Tech/Geeks. If we delete the letters until they are ready to do something with them . We may be deleting EVIDENCE. So, just let them hang there until we hear from mods. This could be VERY INTERESTING. Hope we catch there cluckin asses.
edit -april 28th----I C& P'd this from obviously the other day, I thought I put it here also. I feel that these people have broken the law, let alone TOS of BCO. Our site is world wide. Not only have they gone across state lines , they have crossed international borders. So, They may have not broken a law here, but maybe another country can get them for fraud. Just let the PM hang there until the mods tell us what to do. That of course may take a little time.--sas
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Hadley, Riley and Uni have always shared a PA system, I don't know why.* It's bad, I know, but when they call a Code Blue, I hold my breath and if they say Uni, I go "Whew!", as I'm sure you guys do when it's us, instead. But I always say a prayer for whoever it is, so think of it as one hospital springing into action and people in the other can start praying.
*Maybe it has something to do with the fact that there are tunnels connecting both hospitals as well as over to Wishard Hospital, the clinics, the Medical Library, Coleman Hall, etc. At one point, the tunnels went all the way down to the Veteran's Hospital at the river, but they put locked gates up in the tunnels there years ago.
**And I just figured it out - they both used to be connected to the University, as opposed to Wishard being the County Hospital. I bet that's why they share a PA system.
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Thanks for the support ladies.
I forgot to mention, after the when "was your surgery" and the date given...
Wait, you know what's coming...
All together now, "DID THEY GET IT ALL?"
hmmmm, seems my boobs are all gone, so um, maybe?!0 -
Well, I told my reg doc that my onc doc sounded optimistic about my prognosis and my regular doc says,"oh, they always say that." hmmmmm.
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mebnarj I don't post here often-----------but I think the translation of what you are saying is your done-------------did the doc's get it all -----your boobless and you hope all the BC is gone?. Well as a BMX person , I became aware at almost the identical time you did.... which means anesthesia wore off and the amnesia drugs wore off--------and there you are starkly awake in the middle of the night. in my case alone, looking at a clock wondering when I got there , how did things go, have I been a problem--In my case I'm a pain in the ass. You put the call light on and wait for someone to come. AND ask how things went---------of course they haven't got a clue and say you will have to talk to your doctor. Blah Blah Blah,Is this surgery night or are you home?
Your question is unknown----------the point of the surgery was to do that----------I've never met a general surgeon that didn't try to do there best on every surgery. I met one neurosurgeon that I won't talk about. Surgeons are a breed apart. How they can maintain the control 24/7 if they have no call relief. Believe that your doc got it all. It helps your sanity. Your path report will help also. Personally, that's why I don't like lumpectomies. It ain't all gone. You have to talk margins and rads. Boob ain't worth the worry. BUT there are many women very attached to there boobs. And see their self image in two appendages that could well cost them their life. My life will be shortened by these things and I had no particular attachment to them. Talked about and elective for years because of family hx. Then start the elective process get half way through and bingo ----------oh there's a cancer. Asked if I wanted a smx or bmx_-----"It's off with them there nothing , but killing things. I'm alive--duh------had I not gone the elective route-----I wouldn't be . Do I miss the girls-----hell no. I'm here there not. Perhaps I was supposed to be here when you posed your question. Serendipity. ........You are alive-----------long may you live------------and if you get to the hair loss thing--------it's just hair. ----do scarves vs wigs much more creative. I'll probably get lam-blasted in the morning , but cluckem. Enjoy life Namaste sas
Edit-----mine was so agressive--had i not been in the elective mode by the time it would have been dx'd by the next yearly mammo----------I wouldn't be writing this.
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Sas thanks for the uplift.
This is my second time round and that one question- did they get it all?
It bothers me when people ask it. Scares the crap outta me now actually. I though they got it all 7years ago. Had clinical breast exams twice within three months of me finding the new bugger. Different too with er/pr than last time, i guess they got it all last time.
Did they get it all? Well the path report didn't show any other problems. That is good.
Still waiting on details to which cocktail will be served in the lounge.
Didn't do wigs last time. still have all my scarves. Gotta get my ears repierced so I can get me some big ass hoops and dangly fishing lure looking bling to go with the doo-rags.
Retail therapy!0 -
AHHHHH-------------meb we were destined to meet
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Meb where are you from , I have a feeling we have origin in common too-----DETroit CIty.
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Meb when I went to the BC center for the free wig and scraves. I'm sitting playing with the scarves and by a given point the one person pulled in the other three. "where did you learn to do this"
"The sixties"---really it was the 60-70's in Detroit. The 60's sounded better to me------flower child. Scarves were a real fashion statement. Knowing different wraps was the thing. matching them with the right earrings was a big deal. Yes your right, but your going to have to work quick they have to be pierced and healed before the chemo?
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Cyborg-------------go for the gold and cluckem if they can't deal with it----------don't let anybody bring you dowm without cutting them off at the knees or taking out thier jugular. If they are unkind ------rip them enough that they will never do it to anyone else. Then ask them if they GET IT?--------------I am so tired of dumb asses.
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Sas,
"BUT there are many women very attached to there boobs. And see their self image in two appendages that could well cost them their life. My life will be shortened by these things and I had no particular attachment to them. "
I respectfully offer another view on this- I had a mast- only bc of tumor location. I AM very attached to my boobs, but not bc of self image. I am very un girly- don't wear tight clothes often, mostly live in baggy tshirts. Now I almost never wear a bra bc of my truncal LE- just camis instead. I guess mostly my attachment comes from their contribution to my sex life, but also just that they are part of me. I didn't have kids, so I don't see them as having any value for child-rearing. Making the decision to have a mast was one of the most traumatic parts of the whol expereience for me. I know for many women, its not such a big deal, just wanted to offer another viewpoint
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yeah, i hear your confusion/ pain Alyad... i had the BMX; 1. i had really big boobs.. a 44 G and no way would i wear that big a prosthesis.. and 2. im a chicken. i don't know that i could do the other one "later" as they breezily said..i know too many women who ended up in that position. i was feeling something they couldn't explain on the left "safe" side.. and , after much arguing with BS, had it done... turns out i was right, for many reasons, as stated, as well as they found many"non cancerous abnormal lesions in the left breast.. can you say pre cancer?
it turned out to be a decision i could live with, but i do feel less than the "other" me. not that my breasts define me, but i AM different from all the hoopla to do AFTER... wear prosthesis, or not, won't show myself naked again, thats' for real.. theres' a lot of dicotomy in my feelings.. it seems THIS IS the new normal for me!!!!its about never knowing again, and the proof is there everyday staring me in the face!!! 3jays
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Alyad, I hear ya.....my mastectomy has been the most difficult part of my journey, both physically and emotionally.
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Yep, the loss of the breast tissue makes this time a bit more difficult, of course the abdominal hyst was no walk in the park either. I need time to adjust to all this myself without having people notice or ask questions. Not a luxury we get though.
I'm not a vain person and intellectually understand the rationale for treatments and surgeries. But like y'all said, it takes a toll physically and emotionally that others don't comprehend.
I'm truly touched by some people's effort to be there and care. Got cards in the mail today and bawled like a baby... Some elderly ladies saw me and helped me at the grocery store the other day... The lost independence/normalcy is very humbling at times.
Sas- originally from the northeast, now midwest/south. Some people don't know how to take me at times, but that's okay. I'm an enigma that keeps them guessing at times!
All better now, thanks ladies.0 -
All------I get the attachment to boobs-------that's why I stayed attached for 12 years even though I had an identical twin with Bc and 7-8 cousins and two paternal aunts. I should have made the move ealier for an elective Bmx. I talked about doing it for many years and then talked with my PCP for three years before making the actual appointment with an onc. I'm radical now , I suppose because had I not made the move for the elective when I did-------I'd be dead. NOT EVERYONE IS CARRYING A GENE LIKE MY FAMILY. Braca testing is great for those that have it in the sense ------no questions asked if you want an elective. But there is a wild gene unidentified in the family. Not being able to get a researcher to test for it makes me crazy-----the datas there. Two cousins have come up with Bc since me, an ovarian, and one dx'd before me has died. One died of liver. Two more down. If I had not had an areola injury we would have had to jump through many more hoops to get testing done. The second phase which was Mri Identified the BC. What does that mean when I had the "happy letter" see you in one year NED. Had I payed attention to that letter -again I would be dead. Period----In the wind, no ground for me -if you get the drift..... Even with the family hx , when the reports came out that MRI was far superior to Mammo for early dx, I was denied That was several years pre dx.. Retrospect, I should have fought harder for the MRI. Soulda , coulda, wish I woulda. Yes, I'm angry with myself and I'm angry with the system. MRI is so far superior to Mammo, but it is not used because of economics. Pure and simple. Wish I could hyperlink the peer reviewed article on it, but it was in my research about 2 1/2 years ago. And I"m not out of the woods yet-----onco type dx score was 30-----------have shown up with a colon polyp--pushed Gi doc to do scope 6 months early--why instinct something wasn't right. That was Jan. Now have new symptoms in the colin. Oh yeh one uncle died of colin ca. There is a link. There are more CA's. That's why we or at least I know there was linkage to pgm. Everyone else in the family is just barrying their heads in the sand. Has likely connection to the p53 gene. Can't get that tested either without huge expense. I have one cousin who is no longer speaking to me. She has gotten a double genetic hit ---meaning her mom has breast and colin ca and the genetic hx from our side and she will do nothing , even though one of her ovaries was found to have CA. She only had the one out--------duh. She believes that fixed the problem. There is ovarian ca on PGM side also. Should be a slam dunk , but not in her brain. Yes, I would say we are the unusal case. But unless you do a cancer genetic tree, you may not find the connection. Everyone talks about 1st degree relatives as being the most significant. DO a tree back to as far as you can go and you may have a different view. I happen to come from a large family genetic pool that is traceable. The fact that my grandparents died in the late 50's and early 60's and so many of us have kept contact is highly unusual. I suggest that is why more trends are not picked up. Think about your nuclear family , then extended family, then grandparents and their children. I had a genetic counselor and she didn't get it, we have a cluster. BUT her training taught her to use a certain persons --chart anlysis---. Had the innovator of the chart been there she would have said ---------whoa or at least I would hope she would have-------we need to research this. Asked that the originator of the chart be contacted. ------no word back. Guess I should do it. maybe TMI., but I hate to here of recurrence. If a proper genetic tree was done would that have made a womans choice different.0
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Oh yes, many people are under the supposition that BRACA testing is the gold standard-----------wrong. We are only at the beginning of understanding genetic influence.
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When I did the counseling for BRCA testing I learned that pancreatic cancer is associated with BRCA 1 & 2 mutations. Colon cancer MAY be associated, but since there is also a genetic form of colon cancer it gets more confusing there. There are several BRCA mutations that have been indentified but they don't know exactly what they do as far as risk for bc goes. It's a complex and complicated world when it comes to the genetics of cancer. Someday we'll get it all figured out, I hope.
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