The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Barbe--yep, and told me she thought the dr doing the report was supposed to call me. I said to her, " aren't YOU my primary care physician?" More tears. I hope the next patient with a bad mammo gets a call...
Kathy, when I told my dept chair I had breast cancer this past April, he looked at me and said, "what is your prognosis...?" When he saw the look of shock and disgust on my face, he added, "I mean, for returning to the classroom in the fall...". Sure that's what you mean.
What really got on my nerves today was the 15 yo friend of the family who hasn't seen me for a while asking me how I was, but staring at my chest instead of looking me in the eyes. YES, THEY ARE SMALLER!!! I was a DD and I'm not all the way full yet, I'm probably a large B now, but seriously? Didn't your parents teach you any manners? The funny part is her brother didn't stare at my tits, only the young lady. WTH? Am I just too sensitive?0 -
I am waiting for the stupdiest thing...when I get back from my vacation in one of your sunny states, I will be telling my boss of my decision to cut back on hours and probably give up my director position...he will then say something along the lines of 'good you are working too hard'...and then tell me how I have in some way disappointed him. I have grown some testicles inthe last few months though. Have already told him once inthe past two weeks that he has a very good deal with me and that I do not charge for all I do...that is going to change....This is the ass who berated me for a memo on my second last day of radiation....BRING It On!I am anicipating!
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Sandeeonherown those of us on the hormone sucking/blocking drugs have fear growing testicals and/or penis.
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Eema-- the question "what is your prognosis?" sends me OFF!!!!!it happens a lot.
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SO glad to hear you all ranting a bit. People can be very very stupid, and sometimes they can be just ignorant but well meaning.
I had people suggest that since the 18 weeks of chemo was finished today, we should go out for drinks to celebrate. I've had people in elevators and on the street demand to know what that thing on my arm is for. Like most, I just say it helps because my arm swells a bit sometimes. I've given up with more of an explanation, and most of these people are total strangers. Sometimes I ask them in return what they were thinking with those shoes, and they are offended by having their attire critiqued. The smart ones then get it, and the dumb ones don't.
The good news from where I stand is that most people are not cruel SOBs. Most are curious, and I have no problem saying what is what and educating them a bit. I'd rather hear "how are you" on a regular basis than deal with those who walk past and look through you because you are just going to die and they can't be bothered with saying hi anymore, now that you haven't the time to listen to their troubles or fix their problems, and they most certainly don't want you to ask anything of THEM in return for lots of help given in the past. Sometimes, the people you least expect are the ones to jump ship first.
But in the end, the best people are still around and they don't see you as a lab experiment, but as a wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, collegue or friend.
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We have surgery, chemo and radiation for breast cancer.
What is the treatment modality for stupid, rude and/or just plain mean spirited?
No wonder our world is in such a turmoil.
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Wow, no one asked me what my prognosis was. I took offense at people who asked what stage I was.
Maybe someone here knows. I'm going to ask np too when I get my Herceptin on Wed. My disability insurance told me I was approved through all my treatment. Does that include Herceptin? Or only through rads? Thanks if anyone knows about it.0 -
I like the people that are surprised that the initial surgery was not the end of 'it'.
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oh isnt that the truth V. or I actually had a friend say to me the other day well at least you got a flat tummy and perky boobs now..really??? because thats just what i was hoping for !!!! geez she was trying in her own way to give a compliment but people just dont get it!
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I got a letter from my gyno's office about the new office they opened up and inviting me as I am an "expecting mother" to the new 'newborn facility and mommy to be classes"
I am not pregnant, never had been, my gyno is the one who found my cancer, and to top it off, was told since i was almost 100% ER/PR+ that it could actually cause my cancer to come back if i get pregnant.
durrrrrrr.....
i about cried when i got the letter cause my ability to bear children has been stripped from me, and I am only 30!!
but I am over it now.... but next checkup you can bet your ass i am saying something to them!
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I hate when people ask "Did they get all of it?" Gee, I hope so! I say, "If I don't die of something else first, I guess they did." That usually shuts up the stupid questions!
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Barbe- that's the one that irks me the most too.
As if they can do more for us than the surgeon? Wait maybe they have special xray vision, better yet MRI eyes or even PET scanlike divination rods, point out what they didn't for me?
OR losing a significant amount of a breast, a whole breast or both- I would hope they got it all.
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Now, that's a real theological dilemma for you! "Do I bother to keep praying or is this a lost cause". Does this woman only pray for things/situations/people who are going to be fine anyway? She can't think much of the usefulness or power of prayer if that's what she believes. Maybe she just likes to pat herself on the back when someone recovers - she can say she had a part in it.
I always figured it's part of G-d's job to take care of lost causes.
Sorry, theology discussion over.
Leah
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Here's kind of an eye-roller. BF's mom notices my toenails, a few of which are dark and ready to fll off from chemo (I had just taken the paint off them). I explained they are from the chemo and she said "are you sure? maybe you're just dehydrated." Facepalm!
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Here are a few of my favorites:
My brother in law told me that I actually didn't have cancer as I did not get sick from my chemo. (Wha...aat?)
A friend informed me that "breast cancer is 100% curable."
The on call doctor that I called back at 11 pm to tell him that I was going to the ER with a fever while on chemo called ME back to ask me please not to call him on his home number as "his wife and kids might be sleeping". Umm, did you just call me from this number on my cell phone and I called it back? Did you ever hear of something called "block caller ID"? Guess they didn;t cover that one in medical school. Oh and BTW what does the term "on call" doctor actually mean? that you take calls?
Friend forwards an email which is an obituary of someone I don;t even know who died of breast cancer. thanks, made my day.
Another mom when told of my diagnosis immediately told me about her college roommate who died of breast cancer at age 28. Again, gee, thanks.
Have been laughing out loud reading some of the posts here....too much!
Laura Jean
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OMG sometimes people are just idiots!
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Sometimes? A LOT of times, unfortunately. Some people are deeply, deeply stupid.
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So I jst found this thread and I love it!
Although my fav dumbest thing that I have heard (and only because I am a guy, and there is not much media about MBC)
"How can you have breast cancer? You dont have breasts"
I usally laugh at this, and try and explain the world to them. It also reminds me of Meet the Parents.
Eric
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Way to go Eric! You must REALLY confuse the idiots....ehehehehehehee
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Way to go Eric! You must REALLY confuse the idiots....ehehehehehehee
How many men look down their shirt to discover nipples for the first time??? Doi!
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Yeah, Eric!
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barbe- I love your sense of humor!
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So this one seems more mean than dumb. I was out with my girlfriends and one of the girls told me that my attitude was great and that she could not understand why her OTHER friend with BC made such a big deal out of it... I told her that (1) my cancer was stage one and that makes a big difference, (2) that everyone handles it differently, (3) I am not on chemo so my little hot flashes from Tamoxifen are no big deal, and (4) that at 51 I likely am coming at if from a different place than her not yet 30 year old friend... but this girl was adamant that her other friend was just overly dramatic... well, I did try but really..... ugh.
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just doing a fly by. wanted to say hello to everyone. i'm amzed that people just never change....epecially the medical communiity!>>>>>>>>>>>>3jays
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just V - thanks for trying! My step mom (I do love her as a Mom), can't begin to understand. She had stage 0, a lumpectomy so small the scar doesn't show, 3 chemos, a few weeks of radiation. I am in my third year of chemo every three weeks and the evil Tykerb every day. She told me last week that I should get out and walk a few miles after chemo, it will make you feel good! (she laid in bed for the duration).
Eric - just goes to show how deep the stupid gene is! WOW! (Your daughter sounds incredible! I agree maybe a Vet or a Doc in the future.)0 -
Go Eric!
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Best wishs Eric!
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So, I just telling a guy that I don't really know about my story. (For those who don't know me, I tell the world about my story to help spread the word about Male BC)
He was totatly flabergasted, espically about the stats. He then asked what the next steps were, and I simply stated that I dont know, but I could have any of the following: Surgery, mascetomy, radiation, etc. we all know the routine.
He had the most priceless look on his face, then proceeded to ask "Why would you get a boob job? What size are you going to get?"
REALLY? Are you kidding me? He honestly thought I was going to get breast augmentation surgery, not a mascetomy!
I am a guy, and I say dumb things a lot, but I really hope I have never said anything that dumb!
Oh well
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HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHA
Okay, you win! That IS the dumbest thing!!!! Woo hoo Eric!
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Maybe he wanted to become your 'special' friend.....??? 0
