The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Eema, you are so right!!!! My friend has bi-polar disorder!!! Maybe she was off her meds??? I'm not having recon, so really no need for me to perve at others breasts, lol. I'm going to visit her tomorrow; Maybe she will present me with a Playboy mag???
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LOL Rowan! Hey, why not bring her one since she was so kind and obviously appreciates a nice set of sweater puppets?
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laughing over the sweater puppets comment.. you guys!!! 3jays
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Glad you can laugh, 3jays! Sure beats some of the crying I've done!
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I'm brand new to this board...but this topic hit me the hardest. I have been diagnosed just over 5 weeks now and I have heard some real doozies of stupid comments. I am exhausted trying to make OTHERS feel better about MY situation...and yet that seems to be all I do all day long. My closest coworker is the worst! She can't speak to me without tearing up. I avoid her now. I guess BC is just one of those "life changers' that makes you know who your real friends are...They seem to know what to say. The best thing said to me when my daughter told her dance teacher I had cancer was...THAT SUCKS! I LOVE YOU! <hug>. The best thing to say is usually the least thing to say!0
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adaemi: so sorry you had to join this stupid club but welcome to the website. I have found it invaluable for support at any time of night or day. I agree with you, sometimes the best thing to say is something simple, such as: "I'm so sorry you have to go thru this."
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Eema----if someone knew I was getting recon, and handed me that book with the suggestion as you say about the analogy of the haircut that would make sense to me, and I'd likely be thanking them b/c what I told my doc and what he did were light years apart. What I asked for was small to medium , never wanted to have to wear a bra, and NOT big enough to have a fold below(prone to yeast infections). What I got was max fill at 850 cc's , have to where a bra almost 24 /7 b/c they are heavy, A significant fold below, and they fall into my armpits laying down so the sports bra is a must at night--------nice with hot flashing.
I have previously said that when this happens, we should have the right to put the disputed amount in their scrotum and see how they like it.
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Adaemi-------Hi welcome. If you are thinking of recon the Thread "Sizing 101" is super Whippetmom aka Deborah is the Guru of sizing. I didn't find her until too late for me. She is beyond amazing.
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SAS, OMG! I thought I was overfilled at 400 and 450 ccs! Wow, you poor thing!
Let me ask you this, and without the stupid question header-- were you large before? I was a 34DD and find all the PSs i consulted wanted me to have enormous jiggle jars. Now I'm larger than expected with the dreaded tit-pit, which I must say is a huge inconvenience at best and very painful at worst.
I asked for rockin' tits, my words exactly, but that doesn't mean Dolly Parton to me!0 -
Oh Eema, you do make me laugh!!! After reading all the posts about recon and wrong sizings/armpit boobs etc I am glad I chose no recon!! WTH is a tit-pit????
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Just tell me if I'm over sensitve. I finished RADs 6 weeks ago and don't have to see MO for 3 months. A friend e-mailed me and said she was glad to hear the doctor drama was over. Let me add, that I really haven't had "drama" and haven't really even talked with her about all my treatments. Is it a bit rude to call what I've been going thru "drama"? Like I am being a silly teenager.
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mamalou.. i'm sorry you had to get that hit. we used to kid around, and throw the buggers under the bus.. so im gonna out one up tonight for all.
my sons still give me grief. im not in active tx; but i have drs STILL every week, for one se or another.. i hate it when they refer to it as "my dr. drama"... bite me!!.....3jays
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throw them all under, gals. it'll make you feel better....3jays 0 -
Thank you! It is rather belittling, I think.
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Eema------I was large don't know exact size though b/c at that phase of my life the only thing I was comfortable in was a sports bra. But they were saggy baggy boobs. Had the augmentation in 1980, then nursed my son for a long time, then continued to gain weight. I had lost 23lbs early in my BC trek, the another 33-36 lbs. I have been able to maintain that weight. Hoping to loose more. The influence of drugs has been very interesting. Besides stress my doc attributes my last 30+ loss is to my antideprssant/fibromyalgia drug Savella. My counselor wanted to use propranolol(Inderal) for PTSD. It put on 14 lbs so fast. I was off it in 2 1/2 weeks I think. Still working to get that off. Actos put between 50-60 lbs on my DH---Diabetic drug and he was 325 to start. Oops diverging back to question.
Your question/statement about jiggle jars is so true. I think that it should be on the consent what the final size you expect and corresponding cc's. That makes them responsible. I never knew he expected to max me out. That's again why I recommend Whippetmom as a resource, had I been under her advice, I would have asked the right questions. I don't look like Dear Dolly, but they are not comfortable.
What's a tit-pit? B/c mine are so big, I have a step off and my cleavage without a bra goes off to the left. I could have corrections, but feel happy I got through 4 surgeries without an infection, so, the defects stay. My choice now is to tell people about Whippetmom aka Deborah
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UGH! Got a birthday card today - it stated "life is short...". As if I needed to see that in writing! Under the bus and into the fire with it!
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Wow scuttiers! I wanted to find a picture of a really big, fast moving bus for that! What is wrong with people!!!!!
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Mammalou----ditto to 3Jays comment -------your supposed friend just showed how shallow she is. Under the bus then into the Bonfire.
Scuttlers same with whomever sent you that card.
My DH and I basically cut off contact with nearly everyone the last ten months of his life. For those that are new here. We both had cancer dx'd 3 months apart. We got tired of the drama created by others re: us, and the best way for us, was just avoid the phone, emails, entertaining. I would of lost my mind if I didn't have here to come too. The unintentional and intentional stupidity..............The "Be positive" crap drove us to seclusion
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alt="" width="275" height="183" />this one will have to do for now...3jays 0 -
Scuttlers
That is the about the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. What is wrong with people?
SAS
I agree the staying positive crap is emotionally exhausting. To me, it makes as much sense as wishing I could fly like a bird. It'd be nice to get advice/comments that were truely comforting and not just irritating.
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I had a previous therapist call to ask me how I was doing. I told her I was awaiting diagnosis of a node in my neck (turned out B9) and she said "Oh my, you have to stay positive." I BLASTED her for it and said of all things for a therapist to say that was STUPID. If it came back maglignant was it my fault for not being positive???? I'm not sure she got it, but I got my chance to let her have it.
SAS I am STUNNED at you having to tolerate big breasts again!!! I would be so upset and that is part of the reason I didn't get recon. I would only want small breasts that needed no bra, but looking at my physique and weight, I'm sure I'd end up with big ones too! I had a reduction years ago down to a 42D and had told the doctor to go as small as she could. I don't want that again!!! Shame on the doctors that didn't listen to you ladies!
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scuttlers, Oh my Lord, what on earth is wrong with people?! I'm sorry that you got such an insensitive card.
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Ok ladies i really need to vent....
My DD best friend is a sweet girl ( they are 16) her mother I am finding out is NUTS..
Apparently she think I am faking have BC for pity money and so my DD will get good grades seriously???????? First off I dont need pity I am strong and will push forward 2nd Money?????? really because I would glad love someone to come and pay my deductables and such. As a matter of fact there was a fundraiser at the kids school in March for 3 famalies stricken with cancer, I DID NOT put our name in to receive but rather was in a position at the time to donate so we did. As far as the grades ugh my DD does just fine on her own her teachers dont know me or our situation I am just blown away that someone would actualy think that of another person. I kow I need to considere the source, but it is infuriating to me that people can be so unkind. I almost want to lift my short and say wanna see the scars but wouldnt give herthe time of day at this point
Thanks for listening to me vent
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People never seem to amaze me. How I respond to stupid; by asing an even more invasion stupid question make to them. I am not rude but the point is made and the next time we meet the situation goes much differently.
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I did read quite a few post on the deconstruction thread. There are quite a few that have had it much worse than me. Whats odd is they don't look huge huge ,but 250 less I think might have been perfect. But I again would recommend that it be written on the operative consent, size and cc's. I was 30 lbs. heavier at the time, but it shouldn't have mattered what he thought was right. It lead to some left breast and axillary and upper inner arm LE, which thankfully has gone in the right direction. But it wasn't without allot of work and serendipity. The serendipity part was one night I slept with head of bed at 30-45 degrees b/c of back pain. In the am the left foob pain and axillary swelling was down. I think the positioning caused the foob weight to be taken of the axilla. Slept that way for several weeks and major improvement.Then the sports bra helped even more. But a full cotton sports bra doesn't exist that I know off. The spandex is not fun with flashing.But the serendipity was somewhere around maybe May this year and TE exchange was july31 09.It was probably one of the triggers for fibromyalgia to be in constant unrelieved pain that whole time. Duh BC keeps on giving. This is one of the beauties about BCO. Someone else reads what we have written and puts it on their list of things to do or not do to in their time.
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Tink your supposed friend is nuts. This is not the first time I've read that someone said or implied that someone is faking Bc or cancer. You hear of the rare case when it comes on the news. But why in our everyday lives we have to run into such mean spirited people. Well at least you know you can't trust her. It's better than thinking you can and then she tries to do damage and then you find out. Cluck'er
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Barbe at least they don't look like the old ones , so there was an improvement LOL. The scars are very purplish except for the skate flap nips which really needed to be that pinkishpurple, scarred almost invisible. UHH UH. the joke is in there somewhere.
Insomnia since sometime yesterday morning.
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tinker.. i'm so sorry; your DD may have a wonderful friend, and maybe she'll survive having a nut for a mother. there's no cure for stupod; BUT thats' MEAN!!! 3jays
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Tink, that woman is nuts. I feel sorry for her daughter and you and anyone else who has to deal with her. Unbelievable.
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Faking cancer....why the hell would you? Seriously????? I am certian if we could all sprinkle fairy dust to do something about it we would but..fake it for attention...? my goodness.....toss her in the fire on the other thread Tink...so sorry she said such a hurtful thing....
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