The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Sorry to hear of your passing Charles.
Wonder if someone will send me a card to let me know when mine is?
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Charles, if you have indeed passed and the above post is from a ghost we will welcome any and all posts from whatever entity has been posting. Hmm, I hope that made sense.
Believe me, many if not most of our sisters have an intense distaste for Susan G pink.
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Additional thought. I suspect that most of the money Susan G gets from the sale of items with the label "a portion of the sale goes to the SGK Foundation comes from selling the right to use their copyrighted logos.
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Charles, sorry to hear you passed. On the up side you can now stop paying taxes
To others - as far as my ex boss. I can't tell his wife he fired me because of cancer. She died of lung cancer around the same time I finished dealing with my cancer the first time around. I know the real reason he fired me is because the person he hired makes less than me. For my sanity and health I think I will file for unemployment and walk away. I just hope I can find something when my hair grows back. Somehow I don't think anyone will hire me while its not there lol. As to how old I am, I will be 42 later this year and I had been with this company since '07.
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OMG Charles, that must have been a bit of a shock, your sudden passing. Good lord!
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I think the thing that used to annoy me most was when people told me to stay positive. And then they'd go on to tell you that they know someone had cancer and they were fine (with no background information on the type of cancer or treatment). I would have to bite my tongue to not ask them if they told them to stay positive before they asked them how they were.
I do believe that I was positive throughout most of my treatment, but that's up to me to decide. If I've just spent the last 24 hours puking and every inch of my body hurts, I'm well within my rights to feel a bit negative for a while.
When telling people that we were planning a brother or sister for my daughter when I found out about the BC people would say I should be happy I have one. Of course I'm delighted I have a child and understand people are in a worse situation than me, but that does not elminate my grief that my dream of having another child is most likely over. Which normally gets the reply that I shouldn't be so negative, it will happen, well they didn't sit in on the meeting with the fertility experts that gave me the bad news.
Oh and "you're looking great" was a good one too, I had such colour to my face. Yes that's because they just pumped me full of Epirubicin, which is red and will cause me to puke for 24 hours and make you feel like you've been hit by a train for a few days after that.
I finished chemo in January and feel great now (apart from the recently discovered skin cancer) but I had no idea peoples well-meaning but inappropriate comments could rev me up so much.
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Oh, Charles, you poor thing! I hope your passing was painless and while your up there, would you check in on my DH and DD for me? Hope you return to the site and know we're just poking fun and know this is how Susan B operates. Totally insensitive and out of touch.
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rakulynda,
My death was clearly painless. Indeed, I didn't even notice I was dead until Susan G and her crew brought it to my attention. It's nice up here, by the way. It looks a lot like Laramie and folks appear to still need legal services. I wonder if my license is still good for the great beyond. One positive sign, I've not seen any SGK pink here yet.
I'll start looking up friends for you folks.
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I've always thought heaven would be something like Laramie... but warmer and not so windy.
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Charles ----what was the quote that Mark Twain made re: a similar notification of his death
"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated"........?????????0 -
I will really miss Charles....
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momof3boys, I will miss you, too.
Hey wait! It looks like they have really fast broadband connections up here. I'll try to keep posting.0 -
Important question for you Charles: Is there plenty of good quality chocolate up there?
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Oh wait!!!!
It appears that despite the Susan G. Komen declaration: I am not dead yet
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Charles -----what gave you a clue? I get it you are the KING---cuz you haven't got S*** all over you?
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CHARLES - you WIN! this is the dumbest one I have seen this week.
Terasin - you were gifted the money to stay home during second half of treatment, sacrificing the car you sort of did not 'need' if you did stay home. And now, to me, it looks like circumstances are gifting you the money for more recovery time. I would go for what SAS said, every bit of effort needed to get it my way, not necessarily the job back but definitely compensation, both legal and wages.
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Charles, thank you for the Monty Python video this morning at 6 a.m. What was I thinking?? I'm hoping that your visit to heaven was much more pleasant visually than the video.That was a LOT of mud...and stuff. It's especially good to know that heaven has broadband. I'll spread the word on that. Glad you are back now. We should send SGK a memo to that effect.
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I did send the folks at SGK a note about the exaggerated reports of my passing. I have yet to hear back.
I am not a particularly big fan of SGK anyway, so I have been having fun with it.
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Charles continue to have fun with it, The local news agency might put it in as a human interest story. That would be a big POKE SGK. might even be picked up nationally . Tie in with the Mark twain quote. Previous page.
Teresa-thought of something else .ir's only indirect. If you get unemployment insurance. My understanding is that 's effectively ruling against your boss. His Unemployment payments to the State go UP for a period of months. So, that will hurt his business pocket-yeah. Picket please.
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Well here's another "dumb" one for all of you -perhaps somewhat minor compared to some of your stories but dumb just the same. Had to have an upper GI as cancer is in and around my stomach causing crazy weight loss. The OR nurse said, "well you're lucky. You get to drink all those wonderful smoothies". Um mmmm Drinking smoothies really makes me feel so much better about this cancer thing, thanks!
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lynda Dumb, dumb, dumb. And people who have only had problems with over-weight can't begin to understand how much harder it is to maintain weight or especially gain weight with an impaired digestive system. I know because I fought overweight all my life until disease damaged my system. I was even born chubby to an obese mother.
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I had to go to Social Services this morning to apply for some help before we are living in the park. Anyway, the social worker asked me why I stopped doing my freelance jobs. I told her the Dx of stage IV cancer kinda freaked me out a little and I let it fall apart. Then she asked if I was being treated, I said yes. She says how long do you expect to be in treatment. I said til it stops working. She says oh, what happens then? I said that would be when I die. I think I'll get approved for help. The look on her face was priceless. After that, she was just happy to get me out of her office. lol She also asked if the Dr.s had given me some kind of time frame, as in when am I going to keel over. What the hell.
After my appointment there the Jr High school counselor called me. Asked me if I could come talk to her about my daughter. So we are sitting in her office and she says my kid has told her I have cancer. I said yeah and? She asked a lot of personal questions that I mostly dodged. I told her I'm not really comfortable with talking about personal things with a complete stranger. She went on to tell me about my trust issues and how my daughter must get that from me.
She went on to ask if I would be having recon, I said no. She told me I should, not for me but for my kids, so I would look "normal" and make them feel better about it. And to make sure I got a good wig that they liked.
I'm not sure why she was talking to my kid in the first place, she seemed more interested in trying to "councle" me. I'll have to ask her next time we chat.
After about an hour of useless questions that I didn't answer, she tells me that she had Stage I BC about 10 years ago and had to have a lumpectomy so she knows excatly how I feel. At this point I kind of lost my cool a little and told her she has absolutly no clue how I feel and the fact that she had even said that made me question her ability as a councelor. She was shocked, told me I was rude. I replyed with tellign her how pretty much everything she had said during our meeting had been rude, wrong, and none of her damn bussniess in the first place.
It's only 11am. This is why I am a hermit. lol
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OK, this happened to me yesterday and I just can't stop crying. I was washing my hands at the sink in the Ladies Room by my community's pool. A women with a grandchild opened the door and just gasped. After looking me up and down she said, "When I saw you, I thought I was in the Men's Room!" Now it's true I have a head full of very short chemo curls and I am 5'10", but my daughter assures me that I do not look like a man ( you know, the huge earrings and make-up are generally the tip-off).. I know this was a stupid, thoughtless comment, but even if she hadn't said anything, I could tell by her expression and her examination of me what she was thinking. Why, with all I have been through, and about to undergo an implant exchange surgery in a week, has this affected me so? Maybe some of you have insights into this and can help me out.
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Stormy---Consider talking to the principal. This counselor thought she was helping , but way stepped over bounds. The reason I suggest the principal is --The counselor has power to make remarks about your daughter that can remain in her file. She's already made one remark that was inappropriate." May be that's why your daughter has trust issues" --What, why , how did she determine this? Did she talk about you with your daughter? DUH----way out of line. Ask principal that your daughter be assigned to a new counselor AND, a big AND that the principal review your daughters file for appropriateness. Consider asking to see all the written documentation in her file.
Counselors have power, this can affect letters sent to colleges. For me, I would be all over them. Actually, I reviewed son's file before graduation, my goal was to see what was there and look at completeness of info.. Found they had WRONG social security number. May sound small, but with all the times in the future info is reviewed or sent . It would have been wrong. I stood there until the correction was made.
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elefam-
(edited to remove caustic comments directed at your insulter)
I'm also 5'10" and for some reason all through my life total strangers have felt it their duty to comment on my height. I don't get it.
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Ekfam------she was a STUPID. Wipe her out of you mind. Total unkindess and stupid.
As far as your surgery, this IS a very emotional time for you. We fear everything in this whole situation. It seems as if we have no control on anything, People just keep telling us the next step and where to show up, what to do , what not to do. I wrote something after my brain surgery a couple weeks ago. I'll try and add it to the bottom of this post so, if you pass on by after reading this .please come back. I so hope it helps you.
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Elefam-
I know people don't think and they just say things.I don't get why so many people feel it's ok to just say anything they want without a thought to the Live, Real Person they are saying it to or about. As far as why it has affected you so maybe you just had a full glass already and this was the drop that made it spill over? Not saying that is accurate. So often we have so much going on and it is just one more thing no matter how big or small that makes it/life/circumstances too much!
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My daughter and I were shopping the other day, and when we got to the checkout, the clerk asked if I was a senior citizen (for the discount, I guess).
I know I've got white chemo hair with my own color growing in, but I'm only 48!!!!!! I had to laugh, though, or I'd cry.
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I have been diagnosed with breast cancer 2x - the first time 19 years ago and the second time this past December. So I'm a bit cynical about the whole "survivor" terminology. Maybe it's my own fault, but...I was talking to the dietician at work (she's on the team I work on) because I've been feeling very, very tired from chemo and wanted to get some eating tips. I mentioned my history and she said, "Great - you're a long term survivor!" I grumbled, because it has happened to me again. At which point she said, "Well, you ARE a survivor - you're not dead yet!"
Sensitive, huh?
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I tried to explain in my blog recently that saying things like, "Well, we're all going to die someday" is not helpful. It may be true and we may know that in the back of our minds, but unless you're faced with something (like BC) that forces you to face the reality of your own mortality, you can't understand how unhelpful those kinds of comments are. It's not black-and-white; you're not alive or dead. We are alive, but still battling to stay alive, not to succumb, not to die. It's that huge grey area in between in which we live after diagnosis - probably for the rest of our lives. I just cannot fathom how someone thinks those death comments are helpful?
Unless your Charles, of course - he's got the best of both worlds, being both alive AND dead at the same time.
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