The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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About how they handle you in surgery - my niece worked for a local surgeon when she was younger, and he allowed her to observe in the OR. She said he would literally take innards out and handle them before putting them back. If they do that, it's no wonder you feel like somebody's been playing ping-pong with your guts after surgery!
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Young snippy thing is probably married to Tony!! Good for you for ratting her out. BTW - just got my path report on the oopherectomy - ALL CLEAR!! One more hurdle!! My leg still hurts from the procedure but at least they didn't staple the drapes to my thigh - ouch.
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Perky - your sister sounds like a treat. Mary - how did you handle both breast and ooph surgeries at the same time?? I am the walking wounded here.
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I attended a family wedding yesterday and while chatting to my cousin who is a couple of years younger than me she asked me 'What to you think we have done to cause all these women of our age to get BC?' And then proceeded to tell me all about a friend who was taking a herbal remedy she obtained from Mexico as well as becoming a vegetarian. I replied that it saddened me to see all the young women who had BC and that many ( all ages) who had BC, were vegetarian. Then I mentally threw her off the bus as she had said several other very silly things about BC.
About operations - after my hysterectomy a few years ago I had a really sore and bruised shoulder and I questioned the surgeon about it and he laughed saying that if they have to move you they are not gentle and just heaved you around.
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SOO GLAD you reported that snippy nurse...she is in the wrong profession. It always mystifies me when really anti-social people choose careers that are all about human interaction.
Moogie
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Hi all, here are a few BUS songs for your driving pleasure
Magic Bus the Who http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl9bvuAV-Ao
The Wheels on the Bus Mad'Donna http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsRPTy-TtF4
Bus Stop (live) Hollies http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxMUiZzWy78
(Is that Graham Nash wearing the poufy shirt?!) {{hugs}}
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I have had to do some "geographic cures" in my day to move away from those who cannot even be in the same parking lot as my bus. MIL is one of them.
Snippy nurse needed to be reported and I'm glad she was. I work in health care and I don't put up with that kind of crap.
Bobcat, I had my implant exchange, some fat grafting (lipo) and an ooph on the same day. Was in surgery for about 5 hours, spent the night and then went home. The exchange was a breeze but the ooph was a bit harder. I was sore all over, but particularly where they did the fat grafting. My path was negative, too which was such good news.
I caught up on this thread at lunch today at work. I laughed til I had tears in my eyes. This is so therapeutic. And I still can't believe someone had drapes stapled to themselves. OMG.
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Bobcat - Great news again and this is wonderful! I know how happy I was when I got ALL CLEAR results.
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Okay this is really crazy, sitting in PS office and a woman about 30 starts up a conversation. Finally we get to the reason we are both there, boobs. She explains for her it's just a little maintenance. I explain I'm getting breast reconstruction from having cancer. She says "you're so lucky at least insurance will pay for yours" There were sooooo many things that came to mind, but all I could do is stare at her....
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ak_survivor - I had the same comment from a co-worker, look at this way at least your insurance will pay for you to get new boobs and you won't have all the sagging issues like the rest of us! Under the bus!!!
OUCH to being stapled - so sorry that had to happen to one of us - which it could have been to one of those who thinks we are lucky to get new breasts and have our insurance pay. Okay that was my caustic side!
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Hooray for Bobcat!
The one and only time I got the "at least insurance will pay for your boob job" line I hit back with "Yup, insurance is paying for the breast reduction after paying for radiation, 3 biopsies, a mastectomy, a $3,000 shot every 4 months for 2 years, arimidex, a $300 prosthesis, 4 specialty bras at $125 each. I wanted a breast reduction years ago. If I'd had it then the area that turned cancerous would have been gone years before it turned. They saved lots of money on me!" Oh--this was at a seminar on controlling health care costs. And the person had made many stupid remarks over the last couple of years. That was my way of throwing her under the life bus. . .
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This thread is hilarious. And I LOVE the life bus.
After my first dose of chemo an ex-friend (now dumped from the bus) decided to make me feel better by sending an epic email detailing every single person in her life who'd had cancer - a total of 19 cancer biographies. She finished by saying "The biggest killer has been breast cancer though and the youngest women were always the quickest to die."
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OMG! WHAT are people thinking?????????????
Oh, they aren't thinking. I forgot.
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greenfrog - WHOA!!!
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I guess the mental scars from being cursed with overly large breasts are still with me.
I just read a comment about throwing someone under the bus and I read it as throwing someone under the bust.
LOL - In the old days that would have been a slow painful dead by suffocation!!
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Mary: Praying for your niece having surgery to heal and be comforted by knowing that we are all on her side.
Bobcat: Hurray for your wonderful news!!
NativeMainer: I wish I could think fast like you do! I've had the "you get new boobs & insurance pays" comment, too. I will defiinitely be prepared if it happens again! ....and it paid for anti-depressants and laxatives and anti-nausea meds and thrush meds and anti-diarrhea meds and sleeping pills and PAIN meds!
GreenFrog: Bless your heart, how that person could be so stupid and clueless is beyond me. And she thought this was helping?! This kind of help from friends, we can do without!
Someone I know is always grumpy and negative, and I just don't understand that. I may have a hectic day at work and get frustrated but I still enjoy each day and really appreciate the people around me that smile back at me as we hustle through the day.
Thanks for the songs, Groundhog! I love youtube, you can find absolutely anything on there! I looked up the old "Bud-Weis-Er" frogs for my son...during the super bowl, we were talking about good super-bowl commercials and he wanted to see them.....yep, they're there!
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Groundhog:
I LOVE MAGIC BUS!!!!! My sister and i can launch into that song on a moments notice and horrify all who can hear....as it should BE!!!!! You all have been such a comfort. I love the fact that some of you have come up with the great snappy retort on the spot..I always think of it after the oportunity is gone. My sister however, is a master of the craft. She can usually fire off a 5 word response that leaves the recipient with a dazed look.We call it her VERBAL HOWITZER!!!
Moogie
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Ha those frogs, got a good laugh thinking of that, I should go find the link...
My favorite response to idiots (well-meaning or otherwise) is brief and sarcastic:
"Oh yeah, lucky me." Then look 'em in the eye 'til they get it.
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I posted many pages back the dumb thing my own mom said to me when I told her I had cancer for the second time. She's also a breast cancer survivor, but I made different choices than she did during my first bout, the WRONG choices according to my mom, which is why I got cancer again.
A year after the fact and NO communication from my mom - nothing, I finally layed it out that she owed me an apology for what she said last year. Her reply? Well, she does regret her "insensitive comment" but because she knew I wouldn't take her call, she couldn't apologize. She wanted to be there for me but I wouldn't let her. Seriously, my mom literally deserted me and now says it was my fault.
How do you throw your own mom off your life bus?
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marmsie - I couldn't, I had to forgive mine for things said & done that I won't spill here. {{hugs}} But I compartmentalize a lot more now and do not share everything with her anymore.
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OMG, this thread is cracking me up. Can you believe people are so insensitive and stupid?
I've had a masectomy 2 weeks ago with no reconstruction. I have chosen to go flat now and wear a prosthesis when I am healed but one of the things I am sick and tired of hearing over and over again is you've had breasts most of your life, why don't you consider reconstruction or at least save the nipples? Are you ever going to get reconstructive? What does Charlie (my sig. other) think of you not having a chest anymore? Did you discuss your masectomy with him and get his opinion? Like duh, I had a choice in getting a masectomy. These questions come from friends, family and neighbors. Maybe people don't actually think they are being that stupid.
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Accept your mom as a human being with flaws. Love her in spite of those flaws. Ignore it when the flaws become obvious and concentrate on the fact that she does care for you.
I wish I could have my mother and father for one more day.
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Yeah, my mom was a handful, morbid and tactless. But I miss her and would love to have had just one more day with her--even with the batty stuff she said.
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Sassa, You go girl! For the most part nurses have been very kind but there are some who should be in another line of work and I don't mind telling them so either.
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Sassa, You go girl! For the most part, nurses have been very kind but there are some who should be in another line of work and I don't mind telling them so either!
What is it with the FREE BOOB JOB!? I've gotten that from so many people. My breasts were beautiful and while I got nothin but love for my little foobs, they are not my breasts and I would never have made the trade if it hadn't been for cancer. Although I really haven't complained much through this whole ordeal and am very grateful that my journey has not been as hard as it could be, I wonder if maybe my making light of it leaves some with the impression that it's a walk in the park. When I'm having one of my rare dark nights when I feel really sorry for myself and think my chest looks like a train wreck and the nightmare will never end, I think I'll use that negative energy to clarify matters with these friends. Too bad women can't recognize a healthy body for the gift that it is.
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Good for you, Sassa! you may have spared another patient from becoming that woman's victim.
Greenfrog - I'm amazed at how many people seem to seek me out just to tell me how many women they knew who died of BC. So far, I've not been able to get of a good response, but if a bus happens by the next time I'll be very tempted. I'm tired of making excuses for these clueless, insensitive women.
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A woman in a client's office reacted to my diagnosis by telling me about someone who died and she kept reminding me everytime I saw her. The last time she started talking about her acquaintance, I locked eyes with her and stopped smiling and just waited. I thought if I gave her the floor she would talk until she got it out of her system, or maybe realized that it was an insensitive thing to say. It took a few awkward moments for her brain to catch up with her mouth and then she shut up. She hasn't mentioned her acquaintance to me since. Better yet -- my kids have this way of saying "awwwkwarrrd" (kind of under your breath) whenever they hear something that shouldn't have come out of someone's mouth. That is a good generic response.
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kathylev--maybe something like "Thanks for letting me know what to expect." or "That reminds me--I heard there's an office pool on what day I die. How much did you bet?"
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Marmsie - You are right, how can one possibly throw their own mother off of their life bus? how about locking her in the bathroom at the back of the bus?
Groundhog - would that constitute compartmentalizing?
Astorm - I think the saddest thing about women saying they are envious of your free boob job, is that it seems that so many women hate their breasts. We are bombarded with so many images of perfect breasts and most women don't have that model and feel inadequate and ugly because of it. I think the American ideal breast is no longer a natural breast, it is a surgically enhanced one, how sick is that?
Julie E
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LOL Jelson ROFL
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