The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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I had had a breast reduction about 7 years before I lost them both to cancer. I had spectacular breasts for a 50 years old (at the time)!!!! Very sad to lose but one of the reasons I didn't do recon....sigh.
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Barbe--talking about adding insult to injury! {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}
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I have a a lot of ignorant comments from people about my hair. Those don't bother me so much. What bothered me is when I was going thru 18 weeks of TAC chemo, when these granola crunchy/salesmen types would tell me all I need is, "Their miracle elixer" or shakley product. REALLY? So you are telling me that, the same people that make cleaning products can cure cancer? AMAZING!! You are a moron!!!..Saying chemo was over rated and unnecessary I ripped more than one person a new one at this time, telling them they are like predators preying on the sick with their gypsy promises. How dare they make this disease so cut and dry.. I am all for maintenance of a healthy body with herbs and vitamins and exercise. Chemo saved my life as it did many others. For them to sho sho it like its propaganda infuritates me..
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I just went in for my third MUGA scan, after having bil mast, and the tech asked me if I was pregnant or nursing. Hmmm, with what I wonder??? I don't get angry, I just remember- "some people are like slinkys. Not really good for anything, but they stil bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
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Julia, that slinky comment might win an award here! I sure needed a laugh this weekend, and you did it, thank you!!!
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LOVE the slinky comment! Gonna post that one!
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OMG, that slinky comment -the first time I've heard it, ha,ha,ha. 0
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That slinky philosophy is great...
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I will definitely remember the slinky mantra, I laughed out loud when I read it. Too funny.
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Every time I go into the OBGYN's office (which is often right now - since having BC and now watching my ovarian cyst) - the nurses ask me, "Now that you're 40, you'll need to have a mammogram." I realize they aren't looking at my file BEFORE they see me... but it would be nice, if they did. Anyway, the first one that asked me this, I said, "No - I never need a mammogram again." She looked at me like I was crazy - then I explained why!
I love the life bus!!!
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I had to get a breast MRI about a year after my exchange surgery. When I was talking to the scheduler, she said, "I see it's been well over a year since your last mammogram. I need to schedule you for that before you can have the MRI." I tried to tell her that I don't get mammograms since I've had bilateral mastectomies and only have implants. Her: "We do mammograms on women with implants all the time." Again, I repeated that I don't have to get mammograms due to having had masts. "So . . . you're refusing a mammogram?" By that point, I was so frustrated I could only yell, "I HAVE NO MAMMIES TO GRAM! THEY WERE REMOVED! THAT'S WHAT 'MASTECTOMY' MEANS!"
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OMG MrsBee!
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PS offices are full of insensitive people. One PS told me that (before treatment) I looked "great" and I should just get a lumpectomy because people come into his office wanting to look like me and he couldn't make them look as good after a mastectomy. Clearly he was thinking that cosmetics was the only consideration. So I went to the next PS... discuss ALL options. A perky young nurse at this PS office/"Med-Spa" asked me, "So! what would you like to change about you?" I responded, "well, I have breast cancer and I would like to NOT have breast cancer but since that isn't in the cards I would like to get rid of the cancer and then be as humanoid as possible after the Slash-Burn-and-Poison process is finished." I get it that you might encounter a blissfully ignorant woman in the waiting room who wants to improve on near-perfection, but you'd think the staff (not to mention the doctor) would have a clue.
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AStorm--great response! How did Ms Perky react?
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Ms. Perky was embarrassed and thankfully not quite as perky... more like a slinky come to think of it.
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Looks like I am not the only dysfunctional family survivor here. Where is the ribbon for that?
Friends are the family you choose. Those are the ones that are in your bus with you and some get off and others get on but it works just fine.
You are all awesome!
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Julia83: LOVE the Slinky comment...I'm gonna use that.
AStorm: OMG what a complete jerk!
MrsBee: Love your response! You go, girl!
Also love the "aaaawwwkkkwaaard" response. PERFECT.
My mom is not offically off my bus or under it. I just make sure all of her trips are express, and I strictly enforce the "No Bull Sh__" sign.
Did I mention the woman I was training to take my place while I was out on disability for bc treatment told me THREE separate stories of women she knew who DIED from bc??? Was she trying to cheer me up? Good Lord, what an idiot.
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sus--was the woman you were training making a career out of taking over for women who die of bc? And did you ruin her plans by going back to work?
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NativeMainer: HA HA HA! I never thought to ask her that! She must have had more than her share of the stupid gene, however, because she only lasted a month or two before they got someone else (I was out for 7 months due to all kinds of complications).0
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kittycat and MrsBee - I hear you on the perky little techs in the doctor's offices who say, "So, are we keeping up on our mammograms?" I always smile sweetly and say, "Well, I don't know if you're keeping up on them, but I'm not, because I have no breasts." At least most of them have the sense to look chagrined. How hard is it to take a glance at the patient's chart before walking into the room? I've let my doctors know about it each time so they'll know what their techs are saying.
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As for the life bus, I have a niece who is under it and all of her own doing. That is an entire novel in and of itself.
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Well if it was possible to throw my mother under the bus I might do it tonight. My husband and I ate dinner with them. They asked about the dietician and I was not really ready to talk about it because I have to process all the information, it was a 2 1/2 hour appt.
My mother just looked at me and said, well it appears as if the appt was a waste, does not sound like you were even listening. She has a way that hits all the raw nerves I have. My dad tried to tone her down but by that point she was all out, she told me I was hard headed just like my father. They have been married for 61 years so I guess he is used to it by now, but I am still working it.
Olivia
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Olivia: {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
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Every time I see a doctor, there is a "past due for mammogram" reminder at the bottom of the report. Can't "they" do something about that? No one tells my husband he is late for his mammo, or my teenage daughters and it is just as inappropriate to remind me. Furthermore, the exact date of my last mammogram is permanently etched in my brain... tomorrow it will be only 8 months. Maybe it''s just a talking point for healthcare providers. Funny no one ever says anything about my prostate health.
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I am a lurker here but you guys always bring a smile to my face and I am taking notes so I will be prepared. Love the life bus concept. And "no mammies to gram" is too witty! Thanks to you all.
pam
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If you have a serious illness, then I think you should throw ANYONE (even a close relative) 'under the bus' if they are unhelpful. You don't need that kind of 'support'. None of my immediate family knows about one of my more serious conditions (not my LCIS), and I want control over that information.
So many irresponsible people. My family is really dysfunctional. I do not have contact with my father. My father is dying (or getting close to that) from lung failure (the docs have recommended hospice), and I think my brother (who is my father's executor) has not even discussed with my father what medical decisions my father wants if he has respiratory/cardiac arrest!! My father has been on part/full time oxygen for the last 5-10 years, so his poor health is not exactly a surprise. My brother describes my dad as 'happy but wants to go home'. I guess its just too tough for some people to admit at some point in their life they are going to die.
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We have lost family members to various cancers over the past few years and we have several survivors of other tyoes of cancer among us. I didn't tell my extended family about my situation until I had made my decisions because I didn't want any more advice , but also because I thought they wouldn't consider it "real" cancer since everyone else had more serious types. I thought they would act like they didn't care about my puny little tumor and that would hurt (even though I make it sound like I had a virus). Turns out the people I suspected would downplay it have been very supportive. They don't offer much advice, just listen and agree with me (which is what family is supposed to do). My husband and my mother in-law in particular have said some of the SMARTEST things I've heard in my life. I still think most people should say less and listen more and I will remind myself to do that when the situation is reversed.
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Olivia, I would have loved to do a Jersey Housewives table flip on your mother complete with screaming meltdown. That would have been satisfying.
We can't win against those people, we can do our best to keep them at a safe distance and we are all blessed to have loved ones that understand that.
Whenever I deal with my sister I call one of my close friends for detox. It really helps.
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I have a sister who isn't there for anyone but herself. It took me a lot of years and a lot of tears but finally I came to realize that I was expecting something from someone who didn't have it to give. I have changed my expectations.
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AStorm,
Talking about checking your prostate...
About 5 years ago (well before this whole BC storm started) I was living in Del Rio, TX (lived there for about 1 1/2 years). Anyway, due to my thyroid disorder and the drugs I was taking, I needed a full blod test every month.
The first time I went to have it at the local regional hospital, when I looked at the bill, there was a PSA result there, with a hefty sum. What is funny, BCBS hadn't caught on, and when I called them they were quite stumped.
As I was getting ready to go to the hospital and raise a scandal there, the mail comes. I look through it first, and I find another blooper. My husband (now ex) had to go there too at about the same time, for some exams (he had a bad back. The hospital had billed it all as "neo-natal care".
When I got to the Director's office (because I didn't want to talk to anybody else and I was determined enough so I got there) I started my tirade with "first of all, I would like you to tell me if either my husband just gave birth - so we can call the news and Guinness Book- or if I married a new-born. And also, how did I get changed into a man overnight".
Needless to say, the whole discussion ended with some employees at the hospital in dire straits.
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