The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
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Hey Sherry - not duh - that relationship happened for a reason. Im sure you learned a lot. Im the last one to talk. But individuals like him, since my cancer dx, just dont have time for them anymore..... Bless him and send him on his way. You are so past it, Im sure........
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Thanks, Shayne. I really am past it. As I mentioned last night, I had my second port put in yesterday at my local hospital. The nurses and my surgeon were wonderful. No one said one, insensitive, dumb thing. I also met two older gentlemen in the waiting room who were a delight. It was so nice to go out into public and connect with people who really care.
I got a big bear hug from my surgeon and other hugs and tears from some of the nurses. (I find that tears often come from others now that I have mets - I can handle the tears much better than words). Now that I have mets, I find that the people who know me need comforting more than I do.
Hope you have a restful weekend.
Sherry
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Sherry I'm so sorry that u felt that way--but he is what he is. And u know having him around going thru this would be worse cuz he would be getting on u'r nerves too. And u certainlu don't need anyone giving u more stress. Get some rest and I hope u'r not in pain.
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Dear camillegal - As always, thanks so much for your understanding and support. I am feeling much better today - Ibuprofen and ice are doing the trick. I am going to have dinner at my son's house - 10 mins. from my home, today. I am also planning to spend the night at his house to have a family "jammie" party with him, his fiancee and my grandchildren - Oh, almost forgot to mention that my favorite sleeping buddy, "Titus", will also be joining the party. Titus is my big-baby, four-yr-old, cuddly English bulldog. He always gives me kisses and in spite of being a very active dog, is very gentle with me.
Best wishes for a nice, restful Sunday,
Sherry
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I was reading your post. That was awful about the wife. They were from my husbands hometown and I went to school with the accomplice!! You just never know. It can happen anywhere!!!
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Forgot to tell you about the call or calls - 3 - from the American Cancer Society, asking if Id donate some $ to help BC patients pay for treatment. The first time they called, I said, well, im a BC patient, still paying my bills - so maybe you can forward some of that $ to me or take me off the list. They called 2nd time and talked with my husband, who laughed and told her how much in bills we still had to pay for my treatment this past summer. The third time I answered and said, please dont call anymore...... She hung up without saying goodbye or IM sorry or anyting HOw the heck did I get on this list??
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...........I have such a wonderful relationship with my hairdresser, he is about the same age as my own son and his mother had BC - been clear now for 12 years. My hairdresser agreed to shave off my hair for me before the chemicals did it anyway........got it sponsored and raised funds for breast cancer research by doing it - even gave me a cheque made out to cancer research when he had finished it, as I said to him at the time first time he paid me instead of the other way round! Felt so much better in control of losing it and raising money in a good cause at the same time. It just started to re-grow when it started falling out again................
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Hi all! I have an amazing friend who just this past week in front of some Cat Scan students made the comment about me. She says, this girl here is the luckiest 35 year old ever! She was diagnosed this year with stage 2 bc. All I could do was smile and nod. But what I wanted to say was if I was so damn lucky why do I have Breast Cancer?! Yeah that's the luck I really want....
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Chrissrene--I would have loved to have been there. I would have asked how getting a cancer diagnosis was lucky and watched her squirm. Well, I'd think about saying that.
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NM hshahahaha--u'r to nice to actually say that--thinking ok but saying u are a gentle soul.
Shayne I hate the calls about cancer cuz I always gave like 4 times a year now I can't afford it, but what's worse for me is the mail and calls I et from crematories--I do ask where they are locsted--to stay away they'd put a match on me in a minute.
Toots u'r hairdresser sounds like he has a heart of gold---how wonderful-
Toots I don't think I've met u--so Hi my name is Camille G, no no that's in AA, or is it NA- or overeatingA, but that kind of silly I think people know I overeat--Oh well LOL
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OMG camille! Seriously! I feel sorry for the person on other line if i got that call........after i got over the shock! woah!
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After we lost our infant son, we put obit in paper. Got calls and letters from monument company, including one that had a polaroid picture of a monument they thought would be appropriate. I guess they go through obits looking for people to market to. Ugh! Needless to say we went with a small company that has an ad that says "we will never contact you, but would be pleased to help when you are ready".
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wow.........amazing I can still be shocked
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OMG, Jane that's horrible! Worse than chasing ambulances. I know some criminals go through the obits to find out when the funeral is, so they go rob the house of the deceased when everyone is at the funeral. But for a business owner to troll the obits? It never ceases to amaze me how low some people can go.
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Bgirl - I am so sorry for the loss of your baby, and the coldness of that monument company. It brought back a bad memory. I lost my little brother when I was 8 (he was 6) in a horrible school bus accident. I'll never forget my mom getting hysterical after receiving a phone call. A lawyer called and told her that he could make what had happened to my brother the luckiest day in her life. Hope he got to experience what my parents did.
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Well, I didn't fall apart either. With lots of CA in my father's family, I was already pretty sure that I could get it too. In any case, I'm not the falling apart type. I remember one particular dumb comment from a close relative who said something like this "Bc wasn't a life-threatening disease so I shouldn't make a big deal out of it" I was just blown away by that. After all, luckily for me it wasn't life threatening, but it could have very well been. In hindsight , I guess that person couldn't really deal with it so he made it manageable by diminishing the whole thing. Stupid comments are often made because people just don't know how to react. Maybe we should teach sensitivity classes in school???
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momof 3boys- how horrific for you & your family. There should be a special place in hell for people who put their gain ahead of others grief. It has been a long time now, but yes I think we always remember the days where our lives changed forever.
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Bgirl and Momof 3 what insensitive people all of the ones who make a profit in such away are dispicable, could never do anything so cold.
Deesi how insensative and this person who said that has no idea what people go thru with BC and everything else that happens.
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I'm sorry my mind is all jumbled right now.
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I'm new to all this but I thought that I'd share the peachy remarks that my fabulous (can u tell that is dripping with sarcasm?) father in law said to me: oh, don't worry about it! It's just like the skin stuff(precancer)that I had to have frozen off my face...um- NOT and h then followed it up with oh you'll just get fake tits and be fine.
Well, I beg to differ, a mastectomy is a BIG difference from what he went through.
Just in case you're wondering, I received my diagnoses 2 days after my mom died, nary a word, card, flowers or attendance at my moms funeral service ( they live 5 whole miles away) nor have they offered dinner, help with driving (either me or our 3 kids-which are their biological grandchildren-as if it should matter), a card, flowers nothing
Thanks for listening to my vent. They really chap my bottom!0 -
so sorry about you mom. some people never get it
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Merlcat: your FIL is obviously not very with it, to say the least. You deserve a better network of support! This can be helpful if you realize that "friends are the family you choose!" A warm hug to you!
Fearlessfoot
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Two women I work with were arguing over who was the sickliest. Each thought the other was worse and had missed more time at work. I told them to quit fighting about it, I was the sickliest any way, they didn't have to worry about it. One of them said, why, you never get colds. Good grief! I missed almost a year of work for mx, chemo, and rads, but at least I don't get colds.
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Kay: All I can say is "wow". My latest gripe is my older sister telling me how a close friend who had BC last year, now has lung cancer and that she is ready if "the good Lord is ready to take her." Is that supposed to be uplifting or inspiring to anyone? My other sister has also just lost her much older boyfriend to cancer/MRSA. I don't really want to talk to either one if I don't have to... know what I mean?
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Before I new my final diagnoses, I was extraordinarily (go figure) stressed, plus my mom had just died- I had my period 10/08,10/15 and then on 11/01. A 'friend' told me " oh that's a sure sign that the breast cancer has metastasized to your uterus. You definitely have ovarian cancer, you better go get check." Ack! Thanks for the vote of confidence!
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Oops knew not new...duh...sometimes the iPad helps me look like a complete moron...
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Merl, with freinds like that, makes you wonder if she is pushing anti depressents or maybe has stock in the pharm companies? I have learned or am learning to stay away from folks with such dumb thoughts
as a good real pal said to me as I was stressing out at the beginning of all this junk, this is your new reality and you need to learn how to deal with it.
so people who say dumb things.......stay away
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Now a days, when someone says something dumb to me I say something dumb back X )
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Thanks for the poem, Day. It is lovely - (I have been ill, so just catching up on reading posts)
Sherry
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Toots - thanks for sharing your hair story - your hairdresser sounds like he's a great source of support. I just had my head shaved for a 2nd time. It also gives me a sense of control.
You are in my thoughts
Sherry
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