The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
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How are you doing Sherry? I haven't seen you around for a while and I've bee thinking about you...
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Merl I'm sorry u'r FIL said such an insensitive remark, u r kind not to remark back (cuz I would)
And who had the worst cold hahahaha--that's rediculous
I have to say all my famiky and friends are so the other way. They purposely don't tell me somethings, when I find out I get mad cuz I should know and all I get is we don't want to stress u out. I have demanded that everyone treat me as usual. And my girlfriends still have a hard time with that but they'll tell me a problem then apologize always. But one of my friends did say to me--I'm talking to u like I always do--u'r to dumb to know ow sick u are. Which we laughed so hard .
I feel so sad when I see new people here, there shouldn't be.
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Dear barbe - thanks so very much for thinking of me. I am doing ok. I have been dealing with extremely low bp and a port infection, but getting through it. I made a decision to fore-go all Thanksgiving invitations as I just cannot handle the stress. As I posted on another forum today, when the younger family members toss a couple of beers in with their turkey, all heck sometimes breaks-out at family gatherings - just not dealing with it this year. I am going to spend T-giving day with my grand-dog, "Titus" - loveable English bulldog, taking naps by "his" pellet stove. Can't wait!
I hope you are doing well and that you have a great Thanksgiving. So sorry you have been having pain-med issues. Hope they are resolved soon.
Love ya,
Sherry
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Oh Sherry I was going to say something to u too and then I pressed submit. Silly me. I'm sorry for what u have been going thru, It's so tiring--U too Barb pain is awful to have with everything going on.
It's good to stay home on TG if u don't feel up to it---It has been hard for me sometimes cuz too many people it's just confusion--I used to love it but now not so much, beside I have my cat who sticks to me like glue now so she keeps me company. LOL
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I have also decided this year to stay home and do Thanksgiving solo. I don't feel like fighting traffic getting out of of town and around Charlotte, and then getting into Atlanta to see my 2kids that live there is just so hectic. I don't have enough time to drive home to Michigan to see my other daughter and family there. And my best friend asked me to go to Maryland with her to be with her family, but they just lost their grandma to pancreatic cancer and I really don't want to be around that sadness. So I have chosen to stay home, get things done here, enjoy my kitties and cuddle with them. I have not enjoyed work of late, teaching is a tough job on any day but when you have chaos in the building due to lack of administrative support, and a middle school on top of that, my heart has not been in it. So I am using the solititude to recoup my brain, my heart and my soul.
I have finished my year of herceptin. My port comes out the 29th. And my mind is on "what now"? I am not in the mood to be merry or entertaining or even surrounded by busy and loud people. I just want quiet. I can get that here! If I need a beer or a class of muscato, I can do that here. If I want to go for a walk, I can do that. If I want to go to the movies, I can do that. But I can do all that alone. Just not in the mood for people right now.Everyone thinks I'm depressed. I'm not, I'm just tired. It's been a long year, and now I am moving into the sit and wait part. Yes I could celebrate. I had my last herceptin on the 15th and it was my 51st birthday. I had no cake, no celebration, just slept off the benadryl. I'm okay with that. I will celebrate my new life and new beginning after the long weekend. Right now, I just need time to be by myself to sort out how I feel about everything, my job included.
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Kerrb---U've been thru so so much and not time to think or react even, so sometimes u need time alone even with the holidays. And I certainly agree--it doesn't always mean depression but u'r body is tired and working makes it doubly hard (I think) S relax and regroup u'rself---and I hope u have a nice peaceful day.
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Kerry.....I'm a teacher also (65yrs) but I teach ADULTS.....big difference.....can't imagine
teaching middle school kids after everything you've been through. I understand just wanting peace and quiet and alone time...enjoy it and just be good to yourself, you deserve it.0 -
Kerrb--I need quiet and solitude at times myself. Having doggy time with my Sadie is more renewing that just about anything and definately more renewing that noisy family gatherings with all the drama and emotion that goes on. I applaud you for recognizing what you need and getting it!
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Yep, knowing when to think of yourself first is the best thing you can do for yourself!! I am VERY fortunate that my kids and I don't drink so alcohol is not in the mix, but it was when I was growing up and you never knew if it would be a good get together or one that goes down in the "do you remember when..." memory box!!!!
I've been thinking about one time when my older brother said to me, "Do you think the world revolves around you?" and, seriously, my world DOES revolve around me!!! Who the hell else is it supposed to revolve around????? Seriously???? It's been bugging me lately because I wonder if I've missed some important fact of life and I'm doomed to return as a dung beetle or something. Who does YOUR world revolve around????
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Haha Barbe- your post made me laugh out loud. My husband frequently says (lovingly) "honey, we're all just the characters in YOUR play" :-)
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You know, Barbe, I spent many years taking care of everyone else, and not paying any attention to my needs. I lived in a hell with my ex. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, my parents, even my ex's sisters are closer to me than to him. I love my son in law and my brothers and all their kids. I could travel this weekend and I could spend it with family. But I choose to be home, relaxed, no traffic, no noise, no crazy. And although we do drink socially, since the divorce there is no alcholol or drug abuse that I am around! Thank goodness!
The past year, has revolved around me! It should. I mean, diagnosed with cancer, an aggressive form, surgeries, infusions every three weeks, getting back to work, daughter having surgeries for her own ailments, I mean, yes my world revolves around me!! I have tried to explain to people at work why lately I have been so on edge. It seems stupid, yet it happens, that you get to the end of the treatments, and all of a sudden, things all slow down. Less doctor appointments, no more blood work for three months, you sit, you wait, you hope that you are done completely. I was 10 years clear, and BAM! So I'm back to that waiting game. And yes, I'm a little on edge and very touchy about everyone's silly little issues with their boyfriend's ex-wife, the weather got too cold for you, or that you have to spend Thanksgiving with your husband's family! Seems so selfish, but I don't really want to hear it. So yes the world does revolve around me! Get the hell over it! lol
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GREAT rant Kerrbear!!
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YEAH, Kerrbear!
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Kerrbear, my suggestion is to open your self up to new ways to spend the holiday! as in with friends, you can pick and chose or chose to take a trip but whatever you feel good about.
After a really nasty holiday years ago with my family, I know accept the invitations of freinds and just relax
Good luck and be in peace
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Proud, last year I spent with my friend and her daughter, it was right after my surgery, and right before my herceptin sessions began. I was in no mood to drive the five hours to Atlanta to be with my kids. I enjoyed that weekend immensely. Just as I will enjoy this quiet weekend alone! I have many things to do and if I choose to do them, fine, if not, that's good too. I love my family, and I will miss them, but I need the time to myself.
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Kerrber, whatever feels right for you is the way to go. These long drives are a strain! Maybe when I was 30 or so but now in my 60's it really is a lot.
Enjoy your holiday whatever you chose
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It only takes one thing........while at work someone said that they saw me out, also did the actions where iwas walking slightly bent over.....little do they know since lassi dors recon some days my back is so painfull.....cannot be bothered to explain this to her...she just wouldnt get it....does wonders for ones self confidence AHHHHHHHHHHxxxxx
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Kaza......total moron.....you're right to not explain.....she's not worth the explanation and
you kept your dignity . I'm sorry you have to work with such an idiot....remember, she is an idiot!!!!!!0 -
Thankyou Scottiee1, you are so right she is an moron....i am so thankfull we are able to share on this wonderful site with others who understand...... i am beyond explaining how can they get it unless theyve had it, thankyou for your kind words.
I was thinking of you on Sunday re- shopping with your friend...any bags take your eye xx
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Kerrberlady: As NativeMaine said, I applaud you for recognizing what you need and getting it! I can relate to wanting to be happily alone sometimes.
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I hate it when prople say u look good look like u lost weight
awful about the callers my god I would of freaked out
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Oh my gosh, my husband reacted almost the same way...he told me "It's not always about YOU, you know!"
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so did mine it is about us
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I was talking with someone today about what I eat now since being dx.....she said, and I quote " oh, maybe it's a good thing you got cancer if you are eating healthier now".....duh
BTW...I'm an ex dietitian and my diet has always been healthy....lol
Why are there so many morons in the world?????0 -
Scottiee1.....They just do not get do they.....where do these idiots come from...moron,clueless.
So sorry you had to deal with this, today of all days, sending you hugsx
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It always seems easier to blame the victim than to have to deal with the reality that bad crap can happen to them too.
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Oh.......why oh why...partners/husbands can be so insensitive to our feelings...x
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I've been reading here for a couple of weeks, but haven't posted until now. Some of the comments you've gotten make me gasp, and some of you comebacks crack me up. Thanks so much for the laughs!
I've just recently been dx. I had a mx on oct. 22, got my last drain out yesterday, and had ct & bone scans today to rule out mets since tumor was 5.6 cm, and out of 16 nodes, 13 were positive for cancer.
A week or so ago someone asked a question on a thread about possible bone mets. When my onc set up my bone scan, she asked if I had any new bone pain. I told her just where I already had arthritis. A couple days later, I started having severe hip pain every night shortly after falling asleep. I found that just a little aspercream would take care of the pain, but you all know after dx, everything makes us wonder if its mets!
So, I made the unforgivable mistake of asking if it sounded like my hip pain could possibly be mets and something as simple as aspercream make the pain stop.
I received a private message from someone on that thread telling me I was inconsiderate asking my question on a stage IV thread. That they were being kind in setting me straight in private.
I don't even know if I'm stage IV or III yet. It's still not determined. I have to admit, I'm a tough cookie, but my feelings were really hurt that day. I really didn't mean to offend anyone on a stage IV thread, but I'm still learning my way around.
No matter what, I don't think I'd ever communicate with them again.
Thanks for listening.
Blessings
Paula0 -
Paula- I'm so sorry that happened to you. As we all know the whole subject is very touchy. While I agree they should have taken a different approach in answering you. The best way would have been to possibly refer you to another forum. When will you get results back from the scans? You may want to glide over to the 2012 sisters there. There are a lot of wonderful women there who know a lot and might be able to answer your questions for you.
Christy0 -
Christy thanks. I see my onc on Monday to go over results of scans, schedule port placement, and schedule chemo start.
I'll be glad to get this show on the road.
I really would never have done anything to offend anyone intentionally especially a stage IV lady. It just seemed like the conversation was so much like what I was dealing with, it seemed like a good place to jump in. I won't make that mistake again.
Blessings
Paula0
