The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

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Comments

  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 4,027
    edited February 2014

    Hey Bobo! I have one thing to say to your clueless brother, and it comes from a great comedian Bill Engvall.........Heeere's your sign!

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,947
    edited February 2014

    Musical--good
    point!

  • chicopeach57
    chicopeach57 Member Posts: 50
    edited February 2014

    Bobo, if the soup is that good can I get the recipe too?  Just a little humor here Happy

  • mebmarj
    mebmarj Member Posts: 143
    edited February 2014

    Ha-ha, "I am well."

    Sure I'll visualize and say it, but how many different meanings can there be?  I am (in a) well- and I'm in it over my head sometimes, dog paddling and getting damn tired?  I am (the) well- that's gone dry long ago, thanks to meds and surgery, so bug off!  I am well- aware that people that don't have it, just don't get it.  No negativity, just the truth.

    Ugh...  It's true that we don't always know other people's  issues, but with BC often it's just out there, knocks your body, mind and self-image for a loop.

    Take care all, -m

  • momof2doxies
    momof2doxies Member Posts: 58
    edited February 2014

    After enduring TE's for 4 months, I had surgery, yesterday for my silicon implants. Then today my best friend emailed this comment….

    I am so glad that things are going well and your surgery was a success. I am envious...I would love a new body and new start.

    She is under stress due to a nasty divorce, but still, I find it amazing what people can say.

  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 1,418
    edited February 2014

    momofto,

    Don't ya wish they could spend one day, with all the chemo SE.....I know that sounds harsh, but that would shut a lot of people up. Hope your "new" body is able to heal and you can smack her upside the head next time....lol...

  • peacestrength
    peacestrength Member Posts: 236
    edited April 2015

    Two things people have said to me recently:

    Just stop thinking about cancer.

    At least you get new boobs.

    Both comments made me want to rip their lips off.

  • wintersocks
    wintersocks Member Posts: 434
    edited March 2014

    peacestrength,

    rip thier lips off! funny!  

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,947
    edited March 2014

    Peace--did the person who said not to think about it have kids?  Ask them if they could not think about their kids.  Same thing, right?  

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2014

    My older brother recently said to me in an email to quit "fussing about things that happened in the past". Good thing he doesn't have to look at my chest every day as he lives 4,000 miles away!! How, oh how, do people think we can ever "forget"??? And, FYI, I wasn't fussing!! I just mentioned it in passing....

  • peacestrength
    peacestrength Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2014

    Native -  So true.  Yes both were different people with kids.  I am trying to survive this so can see my child grow up.  Like Barbe said, I would have liked to have flashed them my scarred chest, neck and abdomen for a dose of reality.

    Wintersocks - :)

    People are insensitive - they think that breast cancer is like the pink ribbon propaganda - a cake walk.

  • maryland
    maryland Member Posts: 1,047
    edited March 2014

    I was just dx 2 weeks ago, and will have many like stories to share, I'm sure. I can tell you that I'm already sick of " oh, but you're so strong, if anyone can handle this, you can"  WTF?

  • BayouBabe
    BayouBabe Member Posts: 1,467
    edited March 2014

    At a family event this week, (in front of my children, mind you) a relative says to me "Well, at least you didn't die.  Your kids are too young to be without a mother."  WTF?!  Who says this in front of children who are old enough to understand?!!!Devil

  • maryland
    maryland Member Posts: 1,047
    edited March 2014

    BayouBabe  OMG.. that's really bad, I don't even know what to say to that one.

  • milehighgirl
    milehighgirl Member Posts: 397
    edited March 2014

    Bayou, that's one of the worst ones I've heard in a very long time.  These people are so clueless. I'm praying your kids didn't hear one word that came out of that psycho's mouth.  What a dingbat!  Sue

  • shelly56
    shelly56 Member Posts: 142
    edited March 2014

    Bayou:  That sounds just like one (or 2) of my sibs.  They also like to tell me of their friend(s) that had BC and have passed away recently.  Nice right?  I can only reply with "WTF"!  I think most of this may come from their own fears of disease and can it affect them too in the future?  I like to remind them how healthy I was when I was dx'd and see what the reply is to that ! 

  • maryland
    maryland Member Posts: 1,047
    edited March 2014

    I got a good one today, I am a hairdresser in a retirement home. One of my 80 yr. old customers called to book an appt today. I told her I could get her in in 2 weeks but then I informed her of my recent dx and that I'm waiting to get my tx plan in place so I may need to change that appt. To which she replied, "Oh, breast cancer is no big deal, nobody dies from that anymore." …. I just told her ok, I'll let you know if there are any changes…Hmmmm….. Guess maybe I'm making too much of this…..

  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 4,027
    edited March 2014

    Isn't it amazing, on the one hand you get people who are always desperate to tell you about someone who just passed, and then this old girl doesn't think anyone passes from it any more. 

    You have to wonder which planet they are on!

  • maryland
    maryland Member Posts: 1,047
    edited March 2014

    One of my customers last week said, "Oh I had that years ago"… I said, Oh you had breast cancer?.. She answered." well I know they cut one off, but I can't really remember why, all I can tell you is I never really missed it." HA!.. I loved it!  I have a lot of 90 year olds that had it years ago and consider it nothing but a bump in the road of their life.

  • Monis
    Monis Member Posts: 309
    edited March 2014

    Yes, why are people compelled to tell you all about those that they knew that have died from BC?  I went to a dental appt. just one week after my MX, still had drains in.  Lying in the chair and telling the dentist what I had just been through, and she immediately proceeds to tell me about a friend of hers that recently died from BC.  

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 35
    edited March 2014

    Monis, I've had so many comments like that form well meaning people telling me about people who died from cancer.  I just don't get how inseinsitive and clueless they are.  I had on family member, my DH's cousin tell me how "lucky'' I am.  I can get a set of new girls"  Duh!!

    Oceana

    marvelous-nicole-rodriguez.jpg (180×119)

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,947
    edited March 2014

    I swear I'm going to start telling people with colds about all the patients I've had whose colds progressed to pneumonia that killed them. Or I'll start telling people who are going to have knee replacements about the people who lost a leg to infection after knee surgery.  People need to know the risks, right?  

  • chicopeach57
    chicopeach57 Member Posts: 50
    edited March 2014

    People keep doing that to my 21yo daughter - ask how I'm doing then proceed to talk about the ones that have died.  It is driving her crazy!  Like she isn't worried enough.

  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 4,027
    edited March 2014

    There has to be a "kick ass" answer that could be just thrown in when things like this are said, without thinking!

    "This info is going to help me...how?"

    "Gee, thank you for sharing, I didn't know that!"

    "Really, aren't you just a little ray of Sunshine!"

    There must be more.......

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 814
    edited March 2014

    I have a lot of 90 year olds that had it years ago and consider it nothing but a bump in the road of their life.

    Oh how easy to be smug when you're 90,  ....  bet their little "bump" was more like a sinkhole at the time .

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2014

    Oooh, Musical, you are so right!!! 

    My EX-mother-in-law was horrid when I was pregnant with my first baby. There I was glorifying in the miracle of a child growing inside me and she said "You're not the first one to have a baby, you know!" I did have the balls to tell her that it was MY first baby, though.

    When I resigned from my recent part-time job (thought it was going to be full-time!) my supervisor assumed it was because of my breast cancer - it came up in conversation. She was quick to tell me that her sister died of a recurrence and that I shouldn't work if I felt I needed "this time". I didn't bother to tell her that the job wasn't covering my mortgage because I don't think she would have understood...sigh. Amazing how people make OUR stories into THEIR stories!! Oh well, as long as they can sleep at night....

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 814
    edited March 2014

    Barbe, re the 90yr old... for some reason it kinda reminded me of a conclusion I came to : theres only one thing worse than a non smoker telling you "oh you CAN give up", thats an ex smoker. 

    Sounds like your ex MIL was just being a catty baggage. What is it with people, where they can't genuinely share in someone elses joy without some little nasty dig or steering the conversation their way.  IF someone sleeps at night when they shouldnt, theyve got a seared conscience.

  • maryland
    maryland Member Posts: 1,047
    edited March 2014

    The bump feels like a mountain right now, I/2 Xanax isn't working, gonna have to eat the other 1/2. Tomorrow I go the oncologist for the first time, got my path report faxed to me today, not what I was hoping for, looks like it's in the chest wall, plus nodes which I already knew about.…. wish me luck. I only have 3 clients before appt tomorrow and they're all pretty confused so I don't have to hear any stupid s**t.

  • nativemainer
    nativemainer Member Posts: 7,947
    edited March 2014

    "This info is going to help me...how?"

    "Gee, thank you for sharing, I didn't know that!"

    "Really, aren't you just a little ray of Sunshine!"

    There must be more.......


    "Based on that, when do you think I will die?" 

    "Excuse me, is this going to be another death story? If so, I'll pass." 

    "I'd forgotten I have a life threatening disease, thanks for reminding me." 

    "Here's my doctor's phone number, please call and share you expertise with him/her."

    "OMG, people DIE of breast cancer?"  

    "Will you write my obituary?  I want to be prepared." 

    OK, I'll stop being snarky now.  

  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 1,929
    edited March 2014

    Native! Please don't stop being snarky!

    Leah