The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Thank you NativeMainer! Great lines! Great comebacks!
The funny part is that they will be the ones who are hurt and offended!
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You're right Ariom. They will be offended if we come back with anything of the sort. I like to pick one and let theep m finish the sentence. Such as "you've shared that your mother died of the cancer I have. Thank you for giving me such wonderful encouragement. Do you have another you'd like to share?" Good comebacks Native. I'm keeping a list.
Genny keep us posted on your appointment. Praying for good news.
Sue
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Good one Milehighgirl!
It's good to have one in your arsenal, to fire off when dealing with stupid people!
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Nativemainer - thank you for the laugh! I am going to memorize these for the next stupid person that crosses my path! Love it!
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My very dear friend on my dx: This will inevitably shorten your life.....
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Rosebud looking back at your post about worker A and B... I am still wearing a wig because my hair did not grow back the same. It's very thin now and I'm not comfortable in wearing it out, so I keep it braided under my wig. But a couple of my female coworkers really want to see what my hair looks like. One joked to another that she hold me and while she snatches my wig... I hope she never tries it because that is going to be both of our last day at work...
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How about a shocked look and ask, OMG- How much time do you think I have?
I would never really say it, but it would serve the person right as she/he tries to backtrack. Might actually be kinda funny in a convoluted way.
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Just read Native Maine's list after my post. Love it.
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Dila- I hope they aren't serious- that would be assault. If that comment made you uncomfortable or angry you should tell them so. By the way, I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with going bald with no head covering but I believe it CA patient's prerogative to Show or Share, not anybody else's. I just ordered a wig today and if anybody asks to see my head, I will be dumbfounded because not only is it rude , but it just plain stupid and lacks sensitivity. I'm not sure what I would say.
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Amazing how WE are worried about being rude to OTHER's stupid comments!!! Ah, the joys of human nature!! ehhehehehehee
I laughed out loud at the "last day at work for both of us" comment!! I agree, that would be assault. How totally ignorant!!
I've had people (men even) ask if I still have my nipples (I don't of course) but don't find that offensive as they're not asking to see, they are just quietly curious and have asked discreetly. One day a couple of young girls (20's or so) in the lunch room were actively curious and I asked if they wanted to see. They nodded, so I lifted my top. One of them started to cry. I hope I provided a lesson that day - don't even care on what, but hoping the tears were compassion and not just fear for herself.....
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Some of these have really brought a badly needed smile. People can be so clueless. Dumbest thing so far has been from health professionals that say: "Congratulations you've got the best kind of breast cancer!" OK I know what they mean and I get it. It's early stage and I'm lucky in that respect. But "congratulations"? Seriously? You say "congratulations" when someone graduates or wins the lottery, not when they get cancer.
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Some of these have really brought a badly needed smile. People can be so clueless. Dumbest thing so far has been from health professionals that say: "Congratulations you've got the best kind of breast cancer!" OK I know what they mean and I get it. It's early stage and I'm lucky in that respect. But "congratulations"? Seriously? You say "congratulations" when someone graduates or wins the lottery, not when they get cancer.
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Lily, dumb comment, yep!!! I've seen MORE DCIS gals go on to mastectomies than any other "best" kind of breast cancer!!!
My sister (who was a nurse) actually had the balls to say that at least I didn't have the "bad" breast cancer like her friend did. Really? Did your friend get a double mast? No? Then why was hers bad and mine not????? OH, chemo, you say!! Did you know that chemo only works on FAST growing cells and mine are slow? No? And radiation? Did you know that my tumour was at 6 o'clock on my left side right over my heart and lung and radiation would do more damage than good? No? Then tell, me again, why is MY cancer a good kind of cancer??????
(I have Papillary Carcinoma - a rare - less than 2% kind of breast cancer.)
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I love the comeback "well aren't you just a little ray of sunshine" and I may just get to use it today. My dear sweet sister in law is coming for a visit today. The first thing she said after I was diagnosed and explained to her that my oncologist had said that I may not need chemo was "then you just have "baby cancer" that's easy! Today could be interesting and why my DH thought it was a good idea to invite them over one week before my surgery I will never know! He means well but I may have to tell her where to stick her little ray of sunshine! Can't wait for today to be done!
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He means well but I may have to tell her where to stick her little ray of sunshine!
Um ...where the sun doesn't reach.
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KLJ, I hope you GRAPHICALLY describe and/or show your SIL what is about to happen to you. Make her look at the pictures on Google or somewhere that shows the results, too. Just what are you getting done? Lumpectomy or mast? Also, please mention what I said to my sister about ER+ and slow growing cancer not benefiting from chemo. It's not that we have "baby" cancer, but we won't BENEFIT from chemo!!!!!! That's a bad thing. We've lost one gun in our arsenal - not made it easier!! (This is why oncotype testing was "invented" - so many women were getting chemo for nothing!!!!)
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Wintersocks - what an awful thing to say - she would NOT be my dear friend any longer. As women to women, you'd think some would have more intuition about what is hurtful and not blab before they think! I guess you could've said being thrown out a 4th story window will "shorten your life" too !! then see if she 'gets' it ...
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I'm sorry if this is a "re-hash", but I'm just in a pissy mood and I have to post this. I'm tired of people saying that I'm an amazing person/woman. No I'm not...I'm just doing what I have to do to get thru this. When people say things like this it makes me feel guilty for inwardly wanting to crawl into the fetal position and not get out of bed. Also, I wonder if someone who asks me how I am doing or feeling would REALLY like to know?*disclaimer*
I do know people mean well...believe me I do. I just am tired today of pretending. thank you
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Oh tangandchris, I can so relate, I'm brand to to all this but I'm already so sick of being told how strong I am, and how I've always taken care of myself and I have a positive attitude and that's what's important and I'm gonna be fine, and blah blah…and so what??? strong , fit people with positive attitudes don't get sick and die from cancer??? I know they mean well, I really do, but I'm starting chemo in 4 days and I don't feel strong, and I don't want to do this. Just a little venting ladies.. I'll be fine..
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Vent away Genny. I've had five years of this "super sunny" stuff. It took some doing but I have been able to ignore it when it comes my way. I'm with you too on being so strong. I've never been strong. I want someone else to be strong for me. I just want to crawl into a hole and cry for an hour or so. We all get it. Why don't they? Sue
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Since we are venting, I'm tried of hearing "you look so good." Really? No hair, loosing fingernails 2 months after chemo and I"m fat as a whale from chemo. This looks good. I must have looked like crap when I was 30lbs lighter with hair. I just want to scream or do some heavy drinking.
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Fairydogmother…thanks…you made me laugh…and no chemo for four more days.. so.. I'm drinking.
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Genny and FairyDog, you are making me pee myself laughing. And fairydog, I can't help noticing... you look so pretty today!
Tang and chris, you were so brave and so amazing to post that! You are brave.
We are all so brave and amazing and pretty. I know I am particularly good-looking, five days out of my third sx in three months. Going back to work today completely flat and pasty from 10,000 units of killer antibiotics. I throw up everyday, sometimes on the side of the road. I am so brave and good looking while I am throwing up!I am not sure if it's coming through clearly in my post, but I think you guys are so funny. Thank heavens for this thread!
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bobogirl. wow, puking every day, I can hardly wait, sounds attractive as hell. And pasty white to boot? Of course, I'm doing chemo first, so I get to keep these A cup babies for at least another 3 months. Actually, probably going to have a lumpectomy, so I may just end up with an A minus
Drinking my wine now, and going to bed, starting chemo on Friday, husband dear is telling me NO drinking tomorrow…ahhhh.. he's so bossy.
Sweet dreams, you're all beautiful!!!
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Native you are so funny!! I love it!! I am so thankful that even though we don't know each other there is someone out there to share with that understands just what we all go through.
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A male coworker came to my office, I don't know how we got on the conversation but he had a couple of the males in his family that had bc. He said he had a lump removed that left one of his breast sunk in. He asked if I had the brca test and I told him yes he asked where he could get the test done. I gave him the name and number of the person who scheduled me for the test. Come to find out the insurance won't pay for him to have the test because he is not a woman but bc and male bc is in his family. He said he would have to pay $4000 for the test out of his pocket and will fight to get reimbursed. Talking about a dumb statement... how can the insurance company say that...
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Got my first ride on the chemo train today, so far so good, I feel good. I'm sitting on the couch watching tv while my husband waits on me hand and foot…Could be worse….at least so far, get my Neulasta tomorrow, then he may need to wait on me for real. Oh and he has to scoop and change the cat box for 18 weeks!
That is terrible about the BRCA testing on that man. When I picked up some meds from the pharmacy assistant and she was telling me that her dad has MS and has been on a drug for 10 yrs that works really well for him. It cost $!000/month and he will be turning 65 this year and will be forced to go on Medicare and they will not pay for this drug. She said he is so scared about having to go off it. I thought that was so sad as well.
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Genny, The first time I had the neulasta I had some severe bone pain in back, pelvis, skull and sternum. Took a lortab, went to bed and fine the next day. Was prepared for it again and it never happened, smooth ride after that. Good luck!
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Just the other day I had a co worker ask me how I was doing, what surgery I had done, etc. She proceeded to tell me that she just had her annual mammogram done, and everything was normal. Then, she sighed heavily and said, "I wish something would show up, then I could get a boob job too."
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OMG! Did you tell her to be careful what she wishes for?
What a disgustingly shallow, ignorant, thing to say, what planet are these people from?
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