The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Tangandchris, you are making me pee. 'I went in to get a seroma drained, blah blah blah..' 'How was chemo?' That person is a genius at small talk!
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Well tanga and bobogirl, how was chemo? It's like going to the movies. We don't want to waste any money on chemo (or the movie) if it was lousy. Rather spend my money on the chemo and popcorn elsewhere, lol.
Sophia, I don't wear contacts and was able to get away from needing glasses several years ago. However, I've noticed a change in my eyesight since starting chemo again over the last six months. Seems as though the eyesight is getting worse. Anyone else dealing with this?
Blessings to all. Sue
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Haha...well the chemo was just as pleasant as can be! Bless her little pea pickin heart, didn't she already know how wonderful a day at the chemo infusion center could be?? They have the BEST cocktails ever!0 -
Tang and Milehigh girl, I hear the chemo at the Four Seasons is delicious. Road trip?
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Milehi: I do wear glasses and I did notice that my eyesight deteriorated during chemo. This really bothers me, but I'm not going to see an eye doctor until I'm several months past chemo. It would be nice if the effect reverses itself. I'm hopeful because I'm getting my brain back and a little of my sense of taste is returning.
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Bobogirl. Let's do it! All are welcome to join us. I'm guessing they have pretty good snacks to boot.
Thanks Mary for the info. I'm a ways off from getting my brain back. Not sure what to do about the eyesight because I could be on the chemo for a long time. This is the first cycle with the new drugs so I was surprised the eyesight went so quickly.
Sue
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Not getting my brain or my eyesight back. Still hopefull though.
But did get the "How was chemo" almost every time. Now i get "How are the new drugs" "Oh they are lovely estrogen sucking little darlings. No estrogen also means no moisture ANYPLACE on my body, my hair looks like steel wool of a different color, and it makes me gain weight-of which I love" And how was your day?
Just today someone told me about a friend of hers who had a bilateral MX recently. She was going on and on about how horrible that was to have both at the same time. THEN said to me-at least you had yours at different times. You didn't have to have them both cut off on the same day. True. Mine were "cut off" 6 months apart. Much easier. Much. And she had no idea of what she said. She is a nice woman who really thought she said something kind.
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I know the snappy comebacks were a few pages ago but I had to add these:
A dear friend who had stage IV lymphoma was telling another friend about his diagnosis - the other guy said "You're going to die!" My friend said "Screw you~~so are you!"
My husband was telling a friend about my diagnosis and the friend launched into a story about someone he knew, blah, blah, blah...my husband stopped him and said "Do you hear the sh&* that comes out of your mouth? Stop trying to cheer me up!"
Gina
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You ladies are the greatest! I haven;t commentted for a while, but do keep up to date with this forum,. Love the humor!!
I have a good one. I 'think' I'm very offended but am not sure if I should be. Please let me know!!
A few days ago, I posted a new picture of myself on FB with no hair. I am not a huge FB user but I have recently ended chemo and wanted to commorate it with 'owning' my baldness proudly as I start rads. So firend waded in with postive and supportive comments, except one person. Her comment was 'You need a lollypop!" Obviously an attempt to make fun of my looking baby 'like' with my bald head. Its a stupid comment, for sure, but should I be offended?
Susan - I am having my second breast removed in a few weeks, about 6 months after my first. My MIL, when hearing of this commented "Oh - your going ahead with that are you?" Like I have a choice?????. This is the same women that, upon hearing of my cancer diagnoses, said. 'Did you forget to get your mammogram?" (although irrelivant, I had 3 in one year - none picked up my cancer, dense breasts). This women has no filter and what comes out is so stupid, but, l really don't want to be a jackass whisperer.
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I'm not even sure what your MIl was trying to get at....as if a mammo would have prevented a cancer dx?? ugg!The lollypop thing...I'm not sure I'd be offended, but I might have my feelings hurt a little. I guess if they were trying to be funny it was a lame attempt at humor for sure!
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Jab, the lollypop comment was about Kojak, a TV show back in the 70's. Main character was Telly Savalas who was bald and always had a sucker in his mouth. Google him and I'm sure we can call come up with a good come back for your "friend". Some friend, huh? Sue
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How about, "been fighting cancer not crime."
I always felt it was ok from me or people very close to me that knew the whole story to make light of circumstances. Acquaintances don't have that option in my book. Their jokes or humor doesn't go over well in print when inflection, tone, etc. isn't available.
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Hate to say it, but when you post a pic on FB you leave yourself WIDE open for comments, both good and bad. But I agree that WE are allowed to make the joke, not others. I went back to work after my double mast and said it was so cold up north that I froze my tits off. Someone else later tried to repeat it and it just bombed!!! I had to laugh! The guy got SO embarrassed and wondered why it wasn't funny when HE said it! I think people are shocked when we "mock" ourselves....
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Thanks ladies, I had forgotten about Kojak. Love the comment 'been fighting cancer not crime!'. I must get that into my next lunch with her....
I know posting my picture on facebook was opening me up to comments, but honestly, I have been sick from chemo for 6 months, my bald is one of the thing s that remains of that experience, and will be the case for a while. I might as well embrace it with pride.
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Hi jab- I think your friend was referring to Kojak. He was a bald detective played by Telly Savalas, and he always sucked a lollipop! I don't think you should take offence-she probably thought you were not sensitive about your baldness if you posted a picture. I don't think she was meaning to be cruel. I made my own jokes about my baldness. I was "Wilson" from the movie Castaway when I was totally bald, then GI Jane when it was like a no 1 crew cut. "Woodie" when it started growing and I had a hairstyle like Woodie Wood Pecker and finally Shirley Temple when I had a head of curls!! I find it makes your friends more comfortable to be around you, otherwise they are walking on egg shells, and it makes your relationships so uncomfortable. On your FB page , reply with- "Can I have a sherbert centred one please""!
Your second friend on the other hand is thoughtless. The reason she asked that question was fear. She thinks -if there is no reason you got BC, it could easily happen to her. One friend questioned me on my breast feeding habits! My advice to you, is let these remarks go over you head. There is no cure for stupid, and I really don't think your friends are being inyentionally cruelDomcruel. These same friends will later turn around and be so kind.
I never had the courage to show my bald head. I only took the wig and scarf off when my hair was like a very short crew cut. You rock!!! Good luck with your next mastectomy and radio therapy. Big congratulatory hug for finishing chemo.
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Thanks Maddie. There is a third, more practical reason for posting it on facebook. I have gained weight and HATE wearing my wig when I walk to exercise. (Hot flashes, a sweaty head and a wig do not mix well for me - Very itchy and I have a nasty rash on my head!). And I expect to have little or no hair for th next few months while I am attempting to loose the weight, so I and the rest of the world might as well get use to my being folically challenged. I bared my head to strangers today fo rthe first time, and it was recieved with respect. I was very impressed, and a little suprised.
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I admire you for doing that jab...I hope that doesn't sound like a "dumb" thing to say lol. I went outside to take the trash out and forgot that I was bare headed. I kind of freaked out, but no one was outside. I'm not there yet, but I just might get there sooner than I think with summer in Texas coming.((hugs)))
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Jab. You need a lollypop! Seriously! Do not waste your time on a reply. Let your friends do so. Bet someone will. And as for your MIL. Those without a filter @ that age will never grow one. Yeah. You are going ahead with that. Decided to go ahead take away any area for the freaking cancer cells to take up homestead and invite friends over for the game. Pat her on her pointed head, say bless her heart under your breath, and go to Target/Wally World or someplace and buy a blow up childrens punching deal. Often in a cartoon character. Pretend it is MILs face and punch the snot out of it. I used to recommend this to people in therapy. Now recommend it to me and friends with cancer. Punch the snot out of the blow up things. And then buy a new one. Or-if you shoot. Get some cans and shoot the snot out of them. Or clay birds. Or targets. Or pound nails. Something excessive that you will NOT have to wear orange for.
Whoa. I am in a mood. .....
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Whoa, everyone stay away from Susan today
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Hi jab- sooooo agree with you about those damn wigs!!!! They are so hot. I was scratching like an old hound dog- not a good look. I gave up wearing it in the end unless it was somewhere really special, and wore the scarves.
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I have been going bald since I lost it all. I had a friend asked me, "why don't you wear Rita?" that is the name of my wig. My reply, with my hot flashes I figured it was better to take off a hat then my hair when I was out to lunch or dinner with some one. I agree with Susan on the shooting thing. Not a big shooter, but I got a copy of my Felix, my tumor, pdf and after chemo treatment when I had some energy I went to the range and fired up. After my full spay this Wednesday and when I get the "we don't need to see you for another 3 months" I'm taking all the pink crap people got me and do a burning man of it.
Another secert: just smile and nod your head...Sometimes I really wish people would come back as a dung beetle
Fight on Warriors!
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Monis-I am better today. Thus far..... )
Fairy. The pink crap. Oh my. Prior to BC I bought from Feel Your Boobies, Save The TaTas, and other sites. Wore the T shirts. Thought they were SO cute. At the beginning I was going to make a quilt out of the T-shirts everyone gave me. Now. Nope. During Pinktober I want to vomit. Those *^&#&% pink stickers are even on potatoes! I am still so grateful for the love and friendship but pink almost makes me go blind. On casual Friday's a large number of the faculty in my division wears pink-we have several matching T shirts-so I do also. Many of the students have the Ts also. Do not get me wrong-I am eternally grateful for the love and support. I am whining. And do not mean to whine. Enough.
Off for some quiet time.
Love to all
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It isn't whining at all Susan! I couldn't agree more!
I didn't think about Pinktober much at all before, I thought it was a good thing raising money for a "Cure"...wrong!
I was Dx in October of 2012 and it all started to go pear shaped that very month. Every time I went to my mailbox, there was something else in a lurid pink and even when I went to buy seedlings for my garden, the punnets were that same awful pink, the shops seemed to have lots of pink packaging for that month too, but under further investigation I found to my surprise, there wasn't any percentage from a good number of those sales, going to BC at all, just companies jumping on the pink bandwagon and cashing in on the pink Frenzy.
I find I can physically gag at pink stuff these days. I too, appreciate everything the people who are genuine, do for the cause, but as with everything the greedy element always "stuffs" it up.
I have a really hard time with all those highly paid advertising people brainstorming ideas for more "Awareness" advertising! End of rant!
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Susan, you and "my" wife, slawson, apparently are of similar minds. Eric
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Oh jab, I have a similar genius as MIL. When she heard about my diagnosis she was like 'pray for forgiveness' which I thought was a horrible thing to say because it implied that my BC was given to me as a punishment.
She has said a lot of very stupid things but that I thought topped everything.
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Thanks Ariom. I bought so much of the pink prior to because I thought it went to research.
Eric-I stalk the whats for dinner thread so I feel like I know you. I don't jump in because I hardly ever cook-It is only me. Cook when my kids are here or when I get Bountiful Baskets. But I enjoy reading the posts in the thread. My son is border patrol and grew up with a gun and fishing pole in his hand. His solution when I was diagnosed was to shoot something. Twice.
Pray for forgiveness. Seriously. I was asked if there was something I did to get it. I was asked that several times-and just chalked that up to outright fear. I have, occasionally, wanted to ask what kind of higher power the person beleives in that would swoop down and give a big horrid awful disease as punishment. And follow that with: to a child. And tell about my experiences in nursing with children with cancer.
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optimi- pray for forgiveness!!! What a truly horrible thing to say. She should be praying for forgiveness for making such a cruel comment.
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I just finished my 2nd round of chemo. On day 20 after the 1st round, I took a shower and rinsed my hair and looked down to see what looked like a wet guinea pig on the drain. It was gross and I got out of the shower and buzzed my hair off. Now the top of my head looks like a new born chick but I still have hair at the sideburns and nape. The wigs are hot and itchy and I have found I am most comfortable in baseball caps. I have had 3 people just last week ask me " So did you just decide to buzz your hair off cause you knew it would fall out?" To which I feel compelled to take off my cap and tell them it was that or a really bad comb over. And then they say… Oh, yeah, you are bald on top, I didn't think it would fall out that fast? I had to get a mammogram and ultrasound on Friday and the lady that gave the mam to me asked me the same thing….did I cut my hair just cause I knew it was gonna fall out? I mean what kind of stupid question is that??? Then she asked me what kind of BC I have and I said "lobular" and she said.."that's the most common kind"… I told her, no, ductal is, lobular is only 10%… she just looked at me and said "oh" and then she kept asking me all these questions but didn't shut up long enough to hear the answers. She wanted to know how I found the BC, so I explain that I found dimpling, so she says "show me". So i flex my muscles and she says, "oh, I've seen dimpling much worse than that" Huh???? What???? The reason I was getting the mam and U/S was cause they never did one of my other boob and I needed it for my piece of mind, which was really none of her business. Anyway for some reason she annoyed the sh*t outta me.
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As my children used to say about really really idiot statements "Stupid Head". Stupid was a bad work @ my house. Cost 50 cents instead of a quarter.
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genny,
What a jerk! I know she's a technician, but shouldn't she have some background training in bc in her position? Her behavior with you is bad enough, but who knows what she's saying to women coming in for a mammogram who don't know much about bc!
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