The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Susan--one-up-man-ship seems to be a way of life for some people.Makes me wonder just how insecure, unloved or unvalued they must feel to have to one-up in such a situation.Either that or they are just totally self-centered.
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I am on taxol and while my hair has thinned, and I cut it short...halfway through treatment I still have plenty of hair to not need to cover my head. If I get one more " but you still have hair" "or are you really on chemo I don't believe it" I'll scream. Ive resorted to running my fingers through my hair and dropping a chunk in front of the persons face to get them to shut up.
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Tresj, OMD that's is ROTFLOL. Wonder how they felt. I hope awful.
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It makes them shut up for sure. I've had to do it more than once.
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Please, Tres may I cut and paste to W&F's and Insomniacs. I've been giggling about it since I read it.
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sure lol
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I have people asking if I really had breast cancer since I still have bothe breasts apparently lumpectomy doesn't count. And my oconotype score was low so no chemo but did burn quite nicely thank you from rads. And oh yah I take Lupron injections for the fun of it and letrozole nightly for kick. People are so insensitive ... I can't believe what people say
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My sister and I were diagnosed within weeks of each other. I actually had someone tell me that she had a theory as to why we both got BC. She believes that sisters have such a strong bond that neither one of us wanted either one of us to go through this alone. Um, WTF!?!
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hello ladies
Just wanted to say some of your comments made me giggle.
I was diagnosed last week with IDC (I think that is what she said, am asking for copy of Pathology report today, since I didn't hear much after she said "cancer")
Like all of you, I have already had some stupid comment and questions...and it's only just begun...
Thanks for the giggle, I have some great responses ready now.
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" You worry too much!" - Fellow oncologist told me this today during my 6 month checkup (I am 3 years out thank the Lord) which I had moved up a month over concerns about swelling and tenderness. ....I HAD CANCER AND I HAVE A SIX YEAR OLD SON. NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT RECURRENCE. RIGHT. And my doctor isn't sure if I'm menopausal either. No period in 8 months but wants me to complete 5 years of Tamoxifin (another 2 to go) before switching to Aromatase inhibitor which will be better. I love guess work when my life is on the line. AI's can stimulate your ovaries if you go on them too soon he tells me. Wondering if I should push again to have those suckers yanked. wtf!
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I'd yank 'em, 7of9.... so frustrating to hear what your doctor is saying to you. My sister switched to an AI after under a year of Tamoxifen because her bloodwork showed menopause. Ask again.
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HEY ALL!
Of the five people that I informed about my diagnosis; two being my parents and three of them very close friends for 5+ years, all five of them are reacting in very different ways. This is natural but at times VERY annoying when I have come to terms with the fact that I have cancer, Im ready to fight now
I find my self giving them pep talks about my cancer, Its really annoying. Its robs me of the positive energy that I have been harnessing for myself for the past week since my diagnosis. Granted I cried like a baby to my mom when I first found out. But I pulled myself out of that mood with my health providers helping me understand that this is not final, in the slightest.
I believe if I carry a positive attitude with things, then any news can be tolerated, even the worse news. I know the people I've told are trying to be positive but cant, and I'm okay with that.
Sometimes I don't answer my phone, seriously. I'm in a really great place right now to be honest, and I know that the beginning stages of finding out details like my Oncotype and other things TAKE TIME period.
I wish I would have waited until I had my surgery date and treatment planned out and then told people.
I hate getting too many phone calls unless its from my MO, Breast Surgeon or Nurse Navigator with information.
Its like having to relive the day I found out all over again.
Before I was diagnosed I was saving to get my own place and couldn't wait. Now I'm in my parents house until this subsides and perhaps treatment is over, that could 6 months to a year maybe. I hate that. Dealing with nagging is very annoying.
Most people say..
"I dont know how your doing it, I would be in a corner crying..." (Is there any comfort in that...really?)
Even my PCP said "Well if I were you, I would just get a mastectomy and that way I wont have to deal with cancer at all". (I'm thinking, your a completed idiot.)
"Are you okay" ( This one I understand, but don't ask me a million times. My mood changes just like any human.)
I regret telling people, really.
Anyone feel the same?
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All time winner for most tasteless comment for me so far came from a very close family member the first time they saw me right after my bilateral mastectomy--"Wow! You really are flat-chested" hmmmm . I'm pretty sure I noticed.
I paused for a good long time, while looking him right in the eye, and responded, "and I notice you've gained quite a few pounds since I last saw you too!"
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Jinx27,
"I wish I would have waited until I had my surgery date and treatment planned out and then told people." I agree, and that's what I did. It helped to be able to give definite info and dates even though some things changed later. I was working , so there was really no way to NOT tell people because I was going to be taking off work for doctors' appointments and two surgeries. I was lucky because I heard very few dumb things from people, and most of those times I realized that they just did not know what to say. So I guess to answer your question, I don't regret telling people. The only other choice is to tell no one because word gets around. It would have been harder for me if no one knew. I needed the support, and most people did say the right things.
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7of9, regarding menopause, did they do a blood test of your FSH and E2 levels?
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Jinx...does PCP stand for primary care provider? If so, I would be very concerned, forget the rudeness, what about the stupidity?
I only told my immediate family and four of my closest friends. Word did get out and I got cards and a few phone calls...which was ok, nice actually. But when I knew someone surely had heard and did nothing, it made me kind of sad...like that feeling when you realize a close friend really is just not as close as you thought? Hopefully you'll find that not moving out prior to your diagnosis was a blessing and you'll have the help (without the nagging! ha)...Lorie
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Nurse in radiology as they prepped me for port placement (after I commented on the dorky surgical hat I was about to don): "yeah, I have light eyebrows so I use an eyebrow pencil to darken them whenever I have to wear the hat or else I'd end up looking like one of those chemo patients"
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To that brainless nurse
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At the appointment following my mastectomy, the BS told me that I was "cured - you are not in remission but cured because we removed the cancer." My next appointment was with the MO and I wasn't sure why I was there. I was post menopausal, so why would I need to take arimidex or tamoxifen? That is when I learned that once you have IDC, there is no way to know if there are lose cancer cells, even if they weren't in the three lymph nodes that were removed. Needless to say, I changed BS for my follow up visits!
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Yeah, the week I was first diagnosed my PCP told me I should just have a mastectomy and then I wouldn't have to worry. How could she be so ignorant? I have since changed PCP.
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With Docs, they only know their one piece of the pie. If a MO sadi these stupid things, then yeah change MO's. Surgeons are cutters, PCP are generalists who should know their limits.
Over time I have been congratulated, criticized, laughed at, sought out, Counted then discounted, Called a know it all, Funniest "Why do you know this and my doc doesn't" then being ignored. Learned long, long ago docs don't keep up. I study almost every day and I'm 65. I do this to protect myself and my friends. Family are the least likely to pay attention.
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Sas - thank heavens you are on this forum to share with us. It's often lonely out in the real world. I remember my husband was in tears with gratitude when the BS told him he "got it all." And it wasn't until he went to the MO appointments with me that he understood my concerns.
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garmmy, Thanks that was sweet. Needed that
Latest faiure was my Dearest Brother. He Failed to get my concern about a platelet count that was 150,000 over the top normal(450,000), and he had several drug interactions which could be fixed with just a few changes. Totally blew me off b/c" if it was a problem his docs would have told him".Cutters are in their own world. They actually believe themselves. I've said that they are uniquely arrested in their development at about the 4y/o level.
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There are many people in this world who stop learning when they graduate from high school or college. Those of us who continue reading and learning throughout our lives, progress in our understanding of the world and issues that hit us. Those left behind count on being told what to do by professionals or others in authority. Anyway - I always appreciate what you write on this forum. Please keep it up
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Okay GrammaK and thanks MUAH !
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OMD Scuttlers please, please, please, Put this on Warm & Fuzzies. Insomniacs, Stupid Comments, or do you mind if I repost it?
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Repost everywhere! It just kind of cracked me up a little this morning.
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Thank you....yeah, for sure.....all the bonehead trash talk in one place. Thanks sassy
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I may make a copy, put on the fridge, and play bingo for one week. If I get a "Bingo", hubby takes me to dinner. If I get a "full card", I get a full spa treatment. Then all those idiots would be wondering why I jump up and down and scream happily at their stupid and asinine remarks. :-). !!!!!
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