The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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P.S. - This is adding on to my previous post --When the doctors say to "listen to your body" - I have to laugh !! This bod doesn't talk to me.
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A Cancer Survivor Designs the Cards She Wishes She'd Received From Friends and Family
http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_eye/2015/05/06/empa...
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cp418 - I read her cards those were amazing !!!! I particularly like the one that says let me be first to punch someone who says "everything happens for a reason" . I don't think people 'get it' and what we've been through until they themselves have walked in our shoes. Shelly
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Last night on FB an old pal of mine made a comment on a completely unrelated post asking me how I was doing. He must have realized it was out of place and deleted his comment (after I replied of course). This morning, I found his email address and sent him a detailed update even sharing with him that I'll be having chemo soon and although I'm not quite keeping it a secret I haven't blasted it to everyone yet.
About a half hour later he replies and tells me how "heartbroken" he was when he heard of my original diagnosis then the rest of the email he brags on all the wonderful volunteer work that he's been doing with a local cancer outreach program. He then said it's very rewarding but also very sad for him because so many of the people he's worked with have now died.
SMH
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Justmaximom: All I can say is "wow" -- do you really want to correspond with this guy? It's weird how people automatically assume they will not hurt us by saying insensitive statements. If this guy wasn't a "current" friend who messages you a lot I would cut the ties. (or maybe his tongue !) lol
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Well, let's just say that I have not replied to that email and don't plan on it. At one time we were co-workers and pretty close friends but haven't communicated much in the last few years.... I think that's probably best for the next few years as well.
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I went to ER last week because I thought my appendix was going to explode. The doctor comes back with good news, pregnancy test is negative, I told him well is should be since I had a full hysterectomy due to cancer, which he should know because it was in my file and argue with the lab tech about it. Second no appendix issues. He says I need a HIDA dye test for gallbladder of course insurance doesn't want to pay for it. I mention my troubles to my aunt who is an RN and she says, " most cancer people survivor cancer to die off something else." Thanks for the encouragement.
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Good one FairyDogMother. You gave me a good laugh !!
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almost as stupid as forcing me to actually go to a mammogram appointment when I had a bilateral mastectomy which left only thin skin over the bones. The tech was flabbergasted and apologized profusely and said there was no way. Then the doc cancelled my return visit because the mammogram couldn't be done.
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No shit, if we don't die of cancer we ARE going to die of something else!
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Ok, since this is about the dumbest stuff people have said to you....I guess this is a good place to be. Here's my Saturday story. A friend moved away from where I live, a few years back. Well this morning she's back visiting for the weekend, She showed up at the place we go every morning for coffee. She'd also been following my post about my bc on Facebook. She gets me in a bearhug asks me how my health is, and then tells me about her friend, who had a lumpectomy and a year later was back, and then she had a mastectomy and a year later was back, and then two years later she was dead! Good morning to you too!! She is such a f*****g Asshat! Who says that kind of shit?????
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Lots of people say that kind of $hit, apparently!
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Suladog-- what then was your reply to that wonderful story of hers??!!!
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Shelly,
I didn't know what to say...I'm a writer and usually always have a good comeback but I was just so shocked, I got out of there. I just took my coffee and left. Told my husband who was ready to kick her ass, he said she's no frien
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Zoegr, you managed to make me chuckle! And God knows I had a bad day...
I also get the 'you can't have cancer, you are the healthiest person I know' and 'you don't look like you have cancer'.
And people try to get me to 'treat myself' and eat cakes and biscuits, and criticise me for eating meat ('that's how you got cancer').My employer is also really annoyed at me still wanting to go to the gym (I manage it once or twice a week, at the weekend...): 'if you really had cancer, you wouldn't be going to the gym, you would be taking it easy'.
And of course: 'shouldn't you be on antidepressants?'; 'shouldn't you be on morphine?'
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Penzance......
morphine??!!! Holy crap!
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Haha. Now I know what he uses for constipation.
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Hi All,
I learnt a new word today for people who ask inappropriate stupid questions
*** Askhole***
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Wintersocks,
Love that!!! New vocabulary word for me
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Maybe we should all carry our Onc's business cards, and when some Askhole makes a stupid "why aren't you on morphine" comment we can whip out the card and, with enthusiasm and energy, say "OMG, you know so much more than my doctor! Here's his card, Please, please, please call him and tell him I need to be on morphine! I don't think he knows morphine cures cancer! Where did you learn so much about treating cancer? You should be an oncologist, you could cure EVERYBODY!"
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NM OMG................You have the answer......................
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NM,
hahahahahaha!!!!!
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I told my sister I was dx with Stage IV Breast Cancer . She replied "It is all in Gods Plan, I have it under control"
I respond..."would have been nice if he had sent me a damn memo so I could have cleared my calendar. Also. why the hell would you have it under control?"
needless to say my response did not go over very well.
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Freygea,
Good lord! That's a sucky comment. She's got it under control huh????? Wow.
Because I found my lump myself the first time around, my best friend (at the time) said, "well you know if it's big enough to feel it's already too late.." What the f**k does that mean!?
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Frey--Frechfrye WTH----Please, when you find out what she meant by "UNDER CONTROL" let us know.
Sula--I'm with you WTF.
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Maybe she is the Breast Cancer God Ambassador. That or she already has me for dead..and left herself in control.
(the ol saying "who died and left you in control?)
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Guys,
I posted this in another dumb comments thread but I think it deserves a place here too...I just came back from the market and ran into the woman we bought our new house from last year. She is a 20 yr survivor of ER+ bc, so we're talking about our experiences and this total stranger lady shopping for avocados at another table turns to us and says 27 yrs here!
So we're all feeling pretty damn good, and I push my cart along and there's one of my other neighbors who lives around the block from us. She knows I've had cancer and chemo etc, in fact the first time I met her at a welcome to the nabe cocktail party our other neighbors threw for us, I hadn't yet started chemo. I had had a mx just a few weeks before. She asks me who my Dr at UCSF is., I tell her, (this is a very well known DR) she tells me that this DR was her sisters doctor 10 yrs ago when her sister had the same kind of bc I have, and that her sister is now metastatic. So great. Yeah, you think l I don't think about that Cookie? Like it doesn't cross my mind about a zillion times a day, and is this supposed to make me feel weird about my doctor??? So I beat it out of that party.
Guess who I run into in the market today. She looks at me with a sad sad face, "How are you doing dear?"
Me: Fine
Her: I saw you on the Bike path the other day, I was going to Pilates. How are you?
Me: Well I was running so I guess I'm ok (bitch)
more sad sad face from her and then she tells me again about her sister, and my doctor, and we had the same diagnoses, so I say I really have to go, then she says how her sister is responding to this great new anti hormone drug they have her on.
I say that's great!
Her: (sigh) Well, I hope it works out.for both of you.
If I were her sister I'd be making Thanksgiving plans for Paris right now. I couldn't be trusted at a table with knives on it.
The final thing...How are you liking our neighborhood.
Me: Great, we love it
Me: In my head (except for you...you..rated R)
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Many thoughts, none are legal to express
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"If I were her sister I'd be making Thanksgiving plans for Paris right now. I couldn't be trusted at a table with knives on it."
A classic line!
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My conversation with Dumber of Dumb and Dumber fame.
I am at the hospital where I am doing part-time contract education browsing through a book fair. Another employee (AKA a medical person) walks over and asks how I am feeling/doing. This person knew I had a new port and about the IV iron and exhaustion. I answered that I was ok. He then proceeded to tell me he had gone through it 3 years ago and it "was so much worse when he did it than when I". He then asked when I started and I said 3 years ago. His response--well "even though I went through mine quickly mine was worse because it was a different kind of cancer".
Right. Uh huh. No chemo, no surgery, a few rounds of radiation. Versus 2 big surgeries, 2 ports, 1 port removal, completing cytoxin and adriamycin. Becoming toxic on taxol and taxotere. Not finishing Herceptin because of heart failure. Nasty anemia with IV iron. And so much more. Upcoming GI consult and maybe bone marrow biopsy. Yep. You are right. Yours was worse.
What is the reason behind trying to one-up someone with medical crap?
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