The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
Comments
-
BTW, I posted last week about what i thought was an insensitive comment made by my husband. I was really angry and hurt but hw spent the weekend redeeming himself -- flowers and all. Last night I finally tried to get him to talk about how he has been feeling (ooo, there goes the "f" word) through this whole thing... "I knew you would be okay so I was never worried." Not even when I was in the operating room for 4 hours? "No, I was at work and I knew you were in good hands." I hope men have good intuition! I guess it is good that only one of us is a worrier.
0 -
Gail -- one of my sisters is just like your husband! She is NOT a worrier, always sees the glass half-full. I've asked her about this optimistic attitude and her response is "Why waste any time worrying about awful things that will probably never happen?" Is it intuition? I think it's more like some sort of special optimism gene that, unfortunately, my other sister and I didn't inherit....
0 -
I am using the Gregory House, MD response more and more - 'You're an idiot" and then add, "Get away from me, life is too short to put up with people like you."
It may be rude, they may be shocked, but when they come out from under my life bus wheels, they don't bother me anymore (or are very, very, polite).
0 -
I would simply ask them, "What is wrong with you?" while edging away from them.0
-
The comebacks that comes to my mind are:
"Why are you physically assaulting me?"
"Why would a supposedly intelligent person ask something like that?"
"See anything you like?"
"Are you some kind of pervert?"
"Excuse me. Do I know you? You look like someone I know but you're acting like a jerk."
"HELP! POLICE! I'm being asaulted!"
"Get your hands off me, A$$h@!e!"
"I'm not going to undress until you do."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Slap her hands away and then slap her face.
Slap her hands away while giving her a very cold glare.
0 -
There have been stories on this thread that have made my jaw drop, but your story, Faith, about knocked me off my chair. I am convinced people like that lady (and my in-laws) rely on others' manners, allowing them to say stupid, hurtful, hateful things. They know mannerly people will not respond in kind. I have longed to ask my MIL "are you naturally tactless, or do you have to work at it?" If I were you, now that you've regained your composure, I'd confront that lady and tell her firmly that what she said and did was cruel. If she starts with "oh, don't be so sensitive" or "I was just kidding," repeat, firmly. Rinse and repeat as often as necessary.
0 -
Faith, [I've had to modify this response because incitement to violence is probably illegal. SADLY.] I'm not normally violent but that's way off limits. Has she no respect for you and your personal space? Where WAS she dragged up?!
NativeMainer you are so constructive, calm and rational, well done. I will stick your post to the fridge and learn one each day. Jelson I like yours too. and Riley, I can even remember yours and I'm practising it now
Thank you all.0 -
That is amazing! wow. I didnt tell you all the worst part. For months ever since the first stupid rude comments, I sent the ladies emails saying, "Leave me alone, my looks are not open for discussion. I do not want or need you beauty tips." All way too nice ways for saying "please shut up". This crap went on for a freakin year! in the end, when 3 of them came up to me individually and told me how horrid my radiation burns were and how gross it was. i emailed them again saying "This is over. do not speak to me again. The boss has no problems with my appearance. think before you speak, this is harrassment and will end now". When I emailed this to them, one of them fowarded my email to the boss (who is a man) and told him how "ballsy i was and since I was a part timer what right did i have to censor the conversations in the office?" (teh email she sent him had specific examples of teh rude comments listed, and she was like, "Yeah I said that, so what?" After their meeting, she apologized, but never tthe office manager or the others. they just stopped talking to me all together, how mature is that? What they don't know is that half way thru my chemo, when they told me I was too old and fat for my wig (I found our after the fact) my ballsy 20 yr old daughter called my boss and told him that these women were ruthless and cruel and how stressed out I was---he never did anything about them, but he did give me a few raises. This year I was included in a huge bonus opportunity taht usually I am excluded from cause I am only part time, but since I matched their sales on a fraction of the hours worked, I am included. And man, oh man, are they P.O.ed! Well justice is served. One day soon, when I loose soem of this chemo weight, when I find another job and give my notice, I am going to tell him that if anyone ever gets an illness like mine, He should not wait and assume the girls are acting respectfully or rationally, and he had better take the iniciative and educate his staff on appropiate behavior guidelines, cause seriouslly I could have had a law suit. He is a nice man and has business smarts, but clueless with handling woman stuff. I work with Bengal Tigers, no offense to the tigers meant. hugs terri
0 -
{{{faithandfifty}}} and {{{{terri}}} I just don't understand rudeness! When I ran into the mother of a good friend of mine from high school (many years ago) I didn't know she had been diagnosed with BC and had a dmx. I was stunned when she hugged me. She did no reconstruction either. I didn't say a word but must have "glanced" to see if I was seeing what I thought I felt (or lack thereof) when she hugged me at the door. She immediately just said "you didn't know" and told me her story. I never in a million years would have asked her. My mama raised me better than that!
PS....Even though I got 2 weeks notice on Friday, I was blessed and found a job to start shortly after I am laid off. Not an ideal situation, but it's a job!
0 -
Ah, Faithandfifty.....I'm so sorry. I guess she was *trying* to be lighthearted about it, but people do NOT realize how painful and personal this is to us.....I, too, (as Debbie knows) am flat....and I get told the dumbest stuff. Some things I've already shared on here, some I haven't. I try to make jokes myself, to make others feel more comfortable - but I probably shouldn't. I think I would *almost* have been tempted to raise my shirt and give her a sneakpeak...and then she would have started crying
But PIckles, I seriously love your comeback...are your parents siblings? Can't wait to use that one! Well, actually I won't....but I'll tell that to my kids for a laugh!!
All of your stories just go to show it takes all kinds, doesn't it??? Wonder how God puts up with all of us....
blessings...robin
0 -
faithandfifty said: "I am wearing a form-fitting t-shirt and layered over that is a loose fitting button-down jacket. She walks up. Pulls my jacket away from my body and the first words out of her mouth: 'So just how flat are ya?' "
otter's recommendation, based on her 28 years in the Deep South: There are two rather enjoyable retorts.
The first is very simple, but you have to get the emphasis right. Look straight at her, and say, "EXCUUUUSE ME???". Then just stand there and see what happens. The phrase "excuse me" used in that context is the opposite of an apology. Roughly translated, it means, "What the h*ll did you just say?".
The second option is more fun, but, again, you have to get the tone and emphasis just right. Put your warmest expression on your face, smile sympathetically, and say, "Oh, hon, bless your heart, ... now what would go and make you ask me something personal like that?". Then just stand there smiling and see what happens. The phrase, "bless your heart," is not meant as a religious entreaty. Roughly translated, it means, "You stupid idiot."
This is the end of today's lesson on Southern idioms.
otter
0 -
Oh, otter, I've heard of people getting the "bless your heart" routine, and you're right, it's such an insult, but they can't protest because you say it all syrupy sweet.
0 -
faithandfifty ~ oh my gosh, I have no words because my jaw is still on the floor.
0 -
bcincolorado,
Congratulations on your job. Sometimes small jobs turn into careers. You never can tell.
Best wishes.
0 -
Faithand fifty, Your note left me speechless. I read it to DH who truly is a fantastic support. His face got red, he clenched his fists and he said "I'd like to flatten her right to the floor myself". I joined this forum due to an "ex-friend's" tactless comment. But what your acquaintance said tops anything I have ever heard! I think I'd turn to her and say "are you stupid or just a tactless bitch?
bcincolorado, I am so happy you got a job!
0 -
Faith....I can't believe what that women did, as well as what she said. I am never one who can think of come back when they are needed.....but the first thing that comes to mind is to ask her if her mother ever taught her manners.... I know you work with preschoolers....another thought is that did she ever learn to keep her hands to herself....and lastly.....but totally tactless "not as flat as your brain!!!! OR maybe another...."do you want to see?" and then offer to flash your bare chest!!! (not that I mean that you should do that, but I have felt like doing it but since I never flashed my chest before BC, why would I do it now)....sure hope you don't have to encouter that person again anytime soon. Karen
0 -
Westie - you're having chemo for DCIS. That's really surprising. Are they being super aggressive because you are grade 3? Did you get the gene test?
0 -
'Are your parents siblings?'
I will have to remember that one - thanks!0 -
LisaH I can't believe someone would give you a book with that title, but you know what stood out to me most about your post?
You said that was 8 years ago and you still remember like it was yesterday! You are an 8 year survivor!! I love seeing that! It just makes my day! Bless you!
0 -
Otter, I was raised in south Louisiana and now live in Florida. I have never lost my southern roots, I had to really smile at your comments with "excuse me" and "bless your heart." Used them many times in situations with stupid people. The world is full of them.
Faith, I would have shown her what flat meant by flattening her with my fist. What has happened to just basic manners in this world?
0 -
raeinz: I love the graphic! How cool is that!
Thanks everyone for the kind words about my employment situation.
How about "didn't your mama raise you any better than that?" I know that's what MY mom would say to me if I did something like that!
0 -
bcincolorado - Congrats on the job!!!
Faithandfifty - I have to agree with everyone, your story leaves me speechless. I happen to love the "bless your heart"... it is perfect for some people but maybe this lady is just not bright enough to know you were insulting her. She sounds like her parents were siblings - LOL!!
TerriD - your co-workers are unbelievable! I think your boss is lucky to have you but hope you do not have to put up with the environment much longer.
olivia
0 -
Thank you to one & all for your support and kindness on this thoughtless act.
Each of your responses have empowered me as I replay the situation in my mind.
I just saw this quote on FB and thought, it, too added to possible retorts:
"Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs." Author: Jerry West
Of course those of you that know me, realize I am incapable of saying this to the 'offender' but it did make me smile to consider the merit of the thought.
This is a person that I will see several times a year, so I can think thru my possible responses for our next encounter.
Again, from the bottom of my heart: Thank you!!
0 -
Faith, Thanks for the slinkies quote! it made me smile at the end of a particularly tiresome day!
By the way, when someone says something awful to me, I will pause, look thoughtful, and ask, "Was that meant to be helpful? Because if it was, you totally missed the target; if it wasn't, then you don't deserve my attention one second longer!"
0 -
It's funny how people feel that someone having a mastectomy means our breasts are now considered "open for public debate" . . . discuss, touch etc. Sort of reminds me when I was pregnant and complete strangers would ask if they can touch my belly. NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Uhmmm, gee, I heard your husband had a vastectomy . . . does that mean I can touch his . .
0 -
Just remebered this one: Now I am a bit chunky and at this time I was just wearing camis as a bra with big shirts to cover up my flatness...So a customer comes in and says, Oh are you pregnant? OK I had nvere met her before, but it was obvios I was wearing a hat to cover my minimal hair, and am late 40's, jeez, Be observant people! So I just walked up to her real close like and said close to her ear, "This is what a womans body looks like when her breasts have been removed, the tummy looks bigger than it should." I just passed my embarrassment right back to her, it was a show stopper moment for sure.
0 -
Hi Mantra
I think you said it best!! I have to say that my breasts being "open to public debate" is the one part of the whole BC thing that irks me to no end!! The staring and curiosity about what kind/size implants I am getting makes me mad. I know people don't understand what we go thru with pain, TE's etc and just think "it's a free boob job" but it is so hurtful to think that after the trauma we have been thru, all certain people care about is satisfying their curiosity/ need for gossip without any regard for how we might feel!
Faithandfif I am so sorry for what was said to you; how outrageous and inappropriate of her!!
0 -
Hang on now...in all fairness, perhaps some of these stupid remarks come from women who whip out their breasts in public to breast feed. There's one thing with covering up discreetly, don't get me wrong, I'm talking about the ones who play with their breasts and fuss to draw attention. I've been told "it's natural", Doi. My response? So is a shit - I don't do that in public. I didn't see the conception of your child I don't need to see your other body parts I never would have seen if you weren't breast feeding. It's probably the ones who never had any size until breast feeding.
I breast fed both my children and no one had to be in the viewing zone. None of their business. I didn't do it to flaunt my breasts, but to give my baby the best start I was able. I feel fortunate that I WAS able to breast feed as not all women can. It is truly a gift from God and a beautiful thing; a wonderful bonding time with your baby. Not something to do in public on a bench in the mall!
0 -
But asking a stranger if she is pregnant is inappropriate!!!
0 -
ladies
I am still laughing about the parents being siblings answer and I LOVE the slinky quote. Unfortunately I am not good at comebacks so my options are 'why do you want to know that' or I just turn round and walk away before I get so 
that I say something unkind.Lovely to catch up with you all today.
Off to work now
Rae
0
