The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Lol 3jays....love you girl and your sense of humor!
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Congrats to all you posters, you have kept this thread going for ONE whole YEAR, in four hours and ten minutes, (it's 9:08pm, Nov 24th) here right now.
Sheila.
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ONE year???? Holy crap!!! It feels just like yesterday......0
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Oh my goodness, it sure does feel like it was yesterday!
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Good catch Aussie Sheila, and Thank you DAY for starting this thread!!!
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raeinnz- Thanks! I have so many sisters on BCO I figure I can afford to throw mine (the bad one) under the bus now. It's been long over due. But my other sister (the good one) has been my rock throughout all of this. I honestly don't know what I would do without her.
Claire- Loved your comment- "I got breast cancer and didn't end up insane." That pretty much sums it up, doesn't it?
3jaysmom- Love the animations! You always make me smile!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
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3jaysmom -- great bus! Where did you find it?
I'm thankful for all of you women who have a wonderful sense of humor & don't necessarily play by the polite rules of how we're supposed to behave when people say dumb things!
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Happy Thanksgiving to all the American sistas.....Karen
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There are rules????0
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Some people are really insensitive and some just show their self-centered a---ole nature. Thanks, ladies, for posting what you have. I will use your experiences and the advice to try to protect my daughter from this insensitivity and try my best not to be part of the problem. My best to each of you for giving so generously of yourselves during your difficult journey.
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When I am asked for a donation I just say that my daughter has cancer and I AM GIVING to the cause as I have done for the past 6 years since I lost my mother to lung cancer, a rare form that gets little support for research from anyone.
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Barbe - you ARE the 'comeback' queen! Thanks for always giving me a giggle.0
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Thanks to everyone for the laughs over the past year. I always check in here. Some of the comments you all have been blasted with have amazed me, some have prepared me, some have made me snort! I do think I am more careful myself now when commenting on someone else's medical condition.
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thanks, guys, for "getting" mytwisted sense of humor, i just can't help myself!! the animation bus, which i DO SOOOO love; is in photobucket. you can see my albums there, too. most are open, and you're welcome to see how my strange mind works. lots of fairies, and warrior women, etc. my grandmutter was from ireland, and i grew up belivein in the wee folk... and of course,a few of my latest idol, Lady GAGA..strange, at my age, but there you have it! im gladwe all survived our festivities.. i ended up doing a 3am shop, and another thanksgiving, but surf and turf, this time today.. so its off to prop my swollen feet, and even more swollen (full ) belly. love ya sistahs.. 3jays0
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Is This for real: She walked away? What? Did she think it was contagious? I am so happy to hear you took your business elsewhere.
Mother of patient: you hit a button with me. Lung cancer is the single biggest cancer killer of women in the US each year. Yet most people couldn't tell you what the pearl ribbon stands for. The amount of money for research it gets is shameful. November is Lung Cancer awareness month hopefully that awareness will lead to needed changes. I think we all agree breast cancer awareness is almost too much, and not enough emphasis on cure. I do believe lung cancer awareness is needed. I personally want to punch people when the first question that comes up when they hear of someone with lung cancer is, 'did they smoke'? That is like turning to the woman with breast cancer and asking, were you getting your mammograms?
Got an email from an aquaintance asking about ideas for supporting a friend getting ready to start chemo. "I know its important to remain positive, how else can I help?" My answer: Don't ever talk about remaining positive.
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kmmd, I've also told people to forget the "positive" crap. That's for the friends to believe, not the patient. Let the patient ride the emotions they need and don't force your feelings onto them.
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kmmd I was actually asked about mammograms when I told some how large my tumor was (and I do have small breasts). Granted I too am still a little shocked that my tumor had to be 5.5cm to find in my former A cup breast but still it implies it's my fault.0
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I was amazed at how many people asked if I'd been regularly getting mammograms. I know its a defense mechanism. They want you to say no so that they can reassure themselves it will never happen to them because they're getting mammograms. However, I started getting pretty cranky about how many people needed me to reassure them they would never have to be me.
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It was a guy who asked me.
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Oh gad, Iago! I guess he REALLY wanted to make sure he never became you .0
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when people ask me about mammograms I tell them that I was diagnosed with an ultrasound and I had a mammogram days before that and the tumor wasn't seen on the mammo. I only had the US because it was almost time for my US (I had them annually) and I had a premonition.
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Mammograms caught my breast cancer - twice.
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motherofpatient- I think it's wonderful that you're on here educating yourself on how best to help your daughter physically and emotionally. What a great mom!
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Re: people with lung cancer must have been smokers...
Twenty-or-so years ago, a student in one of the courses I was teaching did not come back to school after Christmas break. Turned out, she'd been dealing with a persistent cough and was finally sent for a full work-up. Metastatic lung cancer. In a 24-year-old woman who was embarrassingly health and active and had never smoked a day in her life. Despite aggressive treatment at one of the major cancer centers in the U.S., she died within a year.
Fast-forward to this fall, when I received an email containing a link to someone's "CaringBridge" site. This time, it was a women I had worked with for many years (I'm retired now). She, too, had been a poster child for healthy living -- thin, good diet, athletic -- and she had never smoked. After realizing those aches-and-pains of "middle age" (a.k.a. menopause) were getting worse, she insisted on a full work-up. That soreness in her leg turned out to be a massive tumor chewing away at her femur. They did a biopsy and were stunned to learn it was a met from a primary they subsequently found in her lung. She also has mets in her pelvis and several vertebrae. Another lung cancer in a non-smoker. She is undergoing aggressive treatment, which they say might give her half a year or so.
Good reason not to rush to judgment, eh? Cancer sucks, no matter what color the ribbon is.
otter
[Edit: I just realized I might have posted the story about the former co-worker, in the midst of a discussion about the merits of positive thinking.]
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My best friend's MIL died from lung cancer. She had never smoked nor been around it and her youngest son is an onc. He said this type of lung cancer is very aggresive and only occurs in people who don't smoke.
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Most of the public is ignorant of the effects of smoking and are just making assumptions--often it is to make themselves feel safer that because they don't smoke, they won't get cancer--WRONG.
Less than 10% of smokers will develop lung cancer (and usually heavy smokers 1.5+ pks per day for many years or menthol smokers-because they inhale deeper), although smoking is related to 30% of all cancers (including breast cancer in a small sub-set of women--premenopausal and no-pregnancies, risk is doubled), smokers are much more likely to have heart disease or hypertension because of the immediate damage smoking does to the blood vessels. Hereas with lung cancer and smoking, it takes long term exposure to the carcinogens.
I am a former smoker that quit after my first bout with cancer over 20 years ago and now I am a health educator that helps smokers quit.
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Otter, you make an important point about how frequently lung cancer is found in people who haven't smoked. My dad, a non- smoker died of lung cancer when I was 13 - diagnosed in April, dead in August. I spent MANY years wonder who was the smoker WHO SHOULD HAVE DIED INSTEAD OF MY DAD. Kind of illogical, childish thinking, but there you have it.
VJSL8- Fastfoward 40 years, my mother dies of lung cancer. She had smoked for thirty years and then had quit for thirty years and died 6 weeks after diagnosis at the age of 91.Lung cancer is a sneaky and terrible disease. And smoking is a horrible addiction. I hope you have success in helping people quit smoking.
Julie E
VJSL8
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Hello, I'm quite new here. Not diagnosed, going in for a biopsy this week. I've been finding this thread very, well, I guess it's both sad and 'funny' at the same time; but it's somehow comforting to read how others also have ridiculous reactions and comments from people. I guess a lot of people just have no idea how to deal with things.
One silly experience I had recently:
When I discovered in the past month that my fibroadenoma had changed quite a bit (enlarged, infected, etc.) I went in to a clinic to get it checked out (don't have a GP right now).
The doctor let me say about one sentence describing the redness and pain, and without examining me or asking any further questions he said: "Well it's probably due to breastfeeding".
I laughed out loud. I wish I had had the presence of mind to say "Oh yes, I did recently take that up as a hobby---but wait--don't you need to have baby first to do that?" (I've never had children). He then went on (again, without examining me) to "assure" me that it was unrelated to my fibroadenoma, and was "just a skin infection".
Luckily I went and saw another doctor, and a then quite a few more, who seem to actually take this sort of thing seriously.(!)
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I have a really good one...
I was walking into Trader Joe's the other day. This lady (who looked frazzled) comes up to me and says, "You look really tired." I kind of ignored her and went to get a shopping cart. Then she says to me, "Long day at work??" I gave her a critical look, shook my head and went onto my shopping.
What are people thinking sometimes??? I had bought a new wig that day, so I was thinking maybe I didn't look so good in that wig. Afterwards I went to a beauty supply store (I had already planned on going there). I picked up some false eyelashes, thinking maybe it wouldn't make me look so tired. I told the clerk at the beauty store my story and she said I should have told that lady, "Oh yeah, you look like a hot mess!" LOL!!! She also told me I looked just fine.
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