The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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IDC invasive ductal CANCER>>> not non invasive non or pre cancer!! when will they get it? ive even heard that one here. i truly don't get it.
as far as when ple say "i know you don't want to hear cancer stories.." i stop them dead with no, i don't so don't EVEN go there!! i even get to the point of being rude to them. its rude of them, and could really mess with your teenagers' heads. hope they're ok.. and i would follow up w/ a note, or email, and tell her it was inappropriate, and if she wanted another dinner with you, she won't do it again.
pretty much, my boundary is out there, now. so, anyone who crosses it gets dropped.. 1st, immed. on their head, and then, under the bus, for them. hope all is well with you now... 3jays
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ok, so we go to a social thing almost weekly, and ive ended up with a group of younger girls i mentor, for lack of a better word.. one of them is dressing inappropriately, and has low cut sirts, bras' showing thru, etc.
so, pulling her aside, i tell her if she wants o attract the Right kind of man, she needs to cover up a little, and let him guess some.. so, as we're walking back, she tells me "just because you had yOUR tits cut off doesn't mean i have to hide mine..for all 20 of us to hear!!
im not a cryer, but i busted into tears, and everyone was aghast..it was real quiet for awhike, and we left shortly after that..needless to say, i won't be working with HER anymore!! 3jays
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shall we..
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how insensitive of the "B"
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ABSOLUTELY !!!!
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Well now, if she wants to attract the right man, she will have to keep her mouth closed also.
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i have to say cancer made me a better person
how
better atfighting,winning,screaming,ranting,raving and yes taking a broom and sweeping the people out of my life that i thought really cared about me.I had a big mouth before now i really dont give a good crap.its finally about ME...not YOU..one of my dear friends wanted to hear the tape of the onc.while i was playing the tape she fell asleep.
OH YES UNDER THE BUS SHE WENT.
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3jays - hahahahahaha that bus picture hahahahahah
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3jaysmom that gal that made the comment
"just because you had yOUR tits cut off doesn't mean i have to hide mine"
has serious issues. Yes she does need to show her tits to attrack a man. Sounds like the only asset she has.(BTW not all men are boob men. My husband is a leg and butt man for sure… actually that is not what he was initially attracted to. He said it was my beautiful smile. Good think because I have a lot more leg & butt now)
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3jays-you got it right-if it has cancer in the name it is CANCER. It's not pre-anything, except maybe metastatic cancer. And good for you for not letting people babble out the stories that will be hurtful to your or you teens. As far as the girl's comments about getting "YOUR tits cut off" as hard as that situation had to be for you, I'm glad you didn't hide your feelings. If she's a teen it's time she learned that there are consequences to her actions and not all consequences are going to be about bolstering HER self esteem. I just hope she realizes why you won't be working with her anymore. And the graphic is GREAT!!!! Where did you find it????
Granny-I have often said, hear and to my friends, that I resent the idea that having bc changed me, especially for the better. It implies I was not a decent person before diagnosis. But your post has shown me that I have changed, and for the better-by being LESS TOLERANT OF STUPIDITY AND INSENSITIVITY! Thanks for pointing that out!
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3jays - I always try to minimize the apprehension and discomfort people experience when they hear the "C" word by saying how lucky I am that we caught it early, or how lucky I am that I didn't have to do chemo. Yes, I am lucky and there isn't a day I am not grateful for any mercy I have received in this chapter of my life. But then I think about it and -- oh yeah, I had my breasts cut off -- that was pretty intense. I don't think I would want to hear that from someone, especially someone who so obviously could gain from your perspective.
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3jays, can I borrow your bus? I'll throw her under again. Geez! I'm sorry this happened. It's almost unbelievable.0
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thanks, guys.. i love you all!! she's a forty year old (what) not a woman.. and i am glad i just let it out.. im not usually the tears type, but am still preety brutalized from the last two years..
an update: i have seen her since, and told her to get another mentor.. one more suiting to her. i didn't focus on getting a man when i found a real one.. so, she's deff. one thats gone "under the bus".. i love!! love the new bus pic.. thank you, photobucket !!3jays
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Way to go 3jays! She had her chance and she blew it - hope the bus backs up and flattens her too!0
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What do you think, ladies? Can this be our bus for throwing people under? We can be in it or watching it go by! I think one with a peace sign is particularly appropriate because the world will be much more peaceful without those who say stupid, insensitive things.
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Love it!
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Has my vote! Perfect choice!
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Love the bus, and thank goodness, it doesn't have a pink ribbon on it!
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SAS,
When I'm asked to donate to cancer research in the checkout line at the supermarket, I like to say that I've already given until it hurts. I especially enjoyed doing that when I was bald with a scarf on my head. The checkers are instructed to solicit the donations, so that's what they do. Some get what I'm saying and are embarrassed and some don't, but no one deserves more of an explanation.
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So here's a bit of a story - today I had my eyes tested and was looking for a pair of frames. I was getting a bit grouchy as cancer is so darn expensive, even though I live in Canada I have the constant 6 hour round trips to Onc. etc. and to lymphedema clinic. Anyway, the lady there offers to help and I thought, 'Oh good'. She then procedes to ask what was wrong with my arm (when she saw my sleeve and glove). Now, I get this question all the time and am getting tired of it. I gave her the usual response and said it was a complication of surgery (Thanks to someone posting that on breastcancer.org!), but she wouldn't leave it alone. She asked if I had carpel tunnel syndrome, and I said, 'No. It's a complication of surgery'. She gave me a funny look, and started to ask again. Now, remember I was grouchy enough as it was because my glasses always cost a min. of $750., I looked her in the eye and said...'Breast Cancer. It's a complication of Breast Cancer.' She said, 'Oh' and walked away, so I proceeded to walk out of the store and took me and my Dh's business elsewhere. Ughh. Tomorrow will be a better day.
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yellowdoglady Last week my friend was in town from Boston. We were walking around Chicago when someone approached us and asked if we would like to give a few minutes for gay, lesbian, trans-gender rights. My friend (who is a lesbian) said "I've already given my entire life". Poor kid didn't know what to say.
And yes here too during Pinktober the super market was soliciting $ for breast cancer.
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THANKS Nativemainer and Chabba...She is about to be thrown under the BUS!!!! TOO!!! Cat
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CandyB- Love the bus! It puts a smile on my face so now I'll be even happier as I throw people under it. Today I'm throwing my sister under for too many reasons to list.....
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I was 48 after my mastectomy, and discussed with my GP some fears and concerns that I had about resuming sex with my husband after surgery; my doctor (who is ordinarily an extremely sensitive guy) asked with raised eyebrows "Well...did you have a very vigorous sex life BEFORE your surgery?"
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That bus is perfect - with the peace sign on it, no one would guess we are using it for running people over - lol!
Kate - sorry to hear the one person who should be there for you, isn't. I don't have a sister and have always wished I had but there is no guarantee that a sister will be there for you anymore than a friend is there? You have heaps of 'sisters' here - come visit us.
ThisIsForReal - good on you for giving it to her with both barrels - she asked for it.
CapitalQ - OMG - were you able to come up with a good comeback?
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I love the "I already gave til it hurt" line...I will be using that for sure.
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OK This is weird. It's been a year since my diagnosis and time for a mammogram. I called today and was asked the normal questions. Have you ever had breast cancer etc. So, of course, I had to say yes and explain about the mastectomy etc. The scheduler pauses for a min. and says - You're my hero, and my mascara is running. She wouldn't let it go. All I wanted to do was schedule a mammo for my natural breast. Lol
I really didn't do anything special. I got breast cancer and didn't end up insane.
Man. I wasn't ready for that.
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Kind of inappropriate for someone who works in an imaging department that looks for breast cancer!
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WOW! There are certainly some insensitive folks out there.
I really think that one VERY beneficial side effect of BC is 'NOW I DON'T SUFFER FOOLS GLADLY!! Ha! I love it. Now, I tell it like it is.. It's invigorating! So when I get the 'Oh I know someone who had BC and she... blah blah. " Now I just say.. ' " I DON'T want to hear it! OK? " Sometimes... I think I might be a little brusque.. but y'know what? I don't give a rat's HA! Thats my BEST BC side effect Tell it like it is! It's super cool!
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a
here we all are, just riding along.... 0
