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I know I cant be the only lesbian out here?

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  • cancersucks
    cancersucks Member Posts: 100
    edited July 2010
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    GML, all I gotta say is amen sista!

    Raili, consider yourself very lucky to live in such a welcoming, accepting community. I've been "out" since I was 23. Unfortunately, I can't believe the woman that say "all this homophobia talk is all in your mind." no, it's not, I live it, they don't.

    Chains, Just want to send out several hugs to you because I just think you're full of hope, love and support, I truly wish you lived closer, I think we'd be fast chums, hell, were already sisters.

    Kris, thank you for the site link, and the support. Let's all support each other. We're all in this together despite orientation.

    Have a good week to all my beautiful, supportive sisters!

  • chainsawz
    chainsawz Member Posts: 113
    edited May 2010
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    CS - thanks for the hugs....I'm glad we are sisters!!!   I always hope for the best from people, but it is just so sad there are so many hateful people in the world and that homophobia even exists.   I always try to send kindness and love into the world, but you don't get a nickname like chainsaw for nothin'...LOL!!!!    In person I can have a quick, sharp humor and use it freely when faced with any 'isms' from people......I always joke I was raised by a wild pack of gay men!!  

  • chainsawz
    chainsawz Member Posts: 113
    edited May 2010
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    Good to see ya Cindoe!!

    Book and barnes - I am hoping this gets better with time.  Everything seems like it needs to adjust to the "new normal".  My situation is a little different with my stage, but I think you will get your mojo back just hang in there and keep looking to the future :>  

    Navy - how are you doing after your surgery? 

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited May 2010
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    Hey ladies...I hope everyone is well, or as well as they can be ;)

    chains...I sure hope you're right about the mojo coming back. I'm 2 years out from my surgery and 1 year from active treatment, I still can't seem to get there. My girl and I have talked about it and we've had a moment here and there but really, I could just as easily go without it. I don't know if it's self image issues (which I have now but never had before) or lack of want (which I never had before either) but either way, it sure is different. On the other hand, it really doesn't seem that my life is lacking so....

    I wish I could remember what I just read, now that really does bother me - the lack of memory recall, it can be quite embarrassing at times :(  I swear, my mind is completely blank. Ugh.

    The ankle is doing fantastic! I'm off all the pain meds, I can walk with one crutch -although I'm not because I don't know if the doctor wants that yet...but I had to for about 20 paces the other day and I could easily do it. The screw they put in the arch of my foot doesn't feel very good when it rains, so I could do without that part, but otherwise I think this is going to make a huge difference in my ability to get out and do. I'm so looking forward to being able to swim and bike again. I could swim before, I just had to kick with one leg -which is a very bizarre thing if you've ever had to do it!

    I'm currently watching my home team, the Philadelphia Flyers, in the playoff game and I'm so happy they are still in it!! So, I'm off to watch!

    Have a GREAT night ladies... 

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited May 2010
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    Thanks, everyone - I'm glad to know that I'm not alone and that it's a variable thing.  I want it back, and I know it will make a difference in my relationship, so I'm looking forward to the return of the mojo.  I'm flashing so badly right now that I'm "glowing" (that's what southern women do - we don't sweat - LOL!)  It gets old.  The rest of the stuff is SLOOOWLLLYYY getting better.

  • cancersucks
    cancersucks Member Posts: 100
    edited July 2010
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    Hey all,

     I think it' a known fact, any kind of "isms" suck. It's ignorance but what can ya do, you go on. I just try my best to avoid people full of hate, and people that just don't get it, but it's not easy at all.

     Also, CIN thank you for all your support!!!!! I'm still trying to get some internet!!! I'm so unconnected here!

     Anyway, hope everyone has a beautiful weekend!!!!

  • cindoe
    cindoe Member Posts: 17
    edited May 2010
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    Hey Chainsawz and CS, Thanks, and your welcome, support, or a open ear and heart will always be here! I just got back home from a all nighter casino binge, my bad! I'm broke again, but I just had to get out. Oh well, I'll just work my azz off again this week. CS hope you are on the road to internet!

    Cy

  • lil_wilde
    lil_wilde Member Posts: 5
    edited May 2010
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    Hey all,

    Just wanted to say Hi cuz I'm a lesbian too and all. But I also spend most of my time reading the other sections about my particular type of cancer. I'm in Vancouver, BC, Canada which is really gay friendly, there are even some support groups for lesbians with breast cancer.

     It's been 5 weeks since surgery and tomorrow I go see the chemo. onc. to find out what kind of adjuvent therapy regimen they are gonna want me on.

    Erin

  • Malta59
    Malta59 Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2010
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    Greetings all!  Just came across this site/forum as I was searching for answers and reassurances.  Was diagnosed with BC on 25 Feb 10, had surgery (mastectomy, left breast) on 26 Mar.  Was psyched up to begin chemo and then, thump!  Oncologist wasn't comfortable with some CT results so was admitted to different hospital for VATs (Video Assisted Thoracic surgery) of the lungs (right).  You got it....was just confirmed Tuesday, 25 May, that I'm stage IV, mets in the lungs.  So, be gentle ladies, I'm new to all the acroynms and terms and this is my first, ever, "forum" of any type that I've registered to participate in.  Thank you all for the information you have posted and shared, it helped me tremendously today reading these (and other posts).  Things were looking very dreary these last couple of days, but reading some of the posts has raised my spirits and my hopes.

    I realize I've jumped in here and will be jumping out for a few days as I'm flying out tomorrow to visit my mum, who I haven't seen since diagnosis.  She's not techie savy, so no connectivity where I"m going.  Will look forward to returning next week and getting more informed with your help.

  • cancersucks
    cancersucks Member Posts: 100
    edited July 2010
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    Hi Malta59, so sorry to hear your news.

    There are new treatments being discovered all the time,  which brings hope for us all. I know Chainz can add more insight though, she knows a lot more than I do.

    I just wanted to give you a hug and tell you that we here for you. I think it's good that your visiting your mom, quality time is important. My mom was my rock all through my care. My throughts are with you and keep us updated. G

  • chainsawz
    chainsawz Member Posts: 113
    edited May 2010
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    Welcome Malta......

    I'm sorry you are a new member to "club mets"...that's what some call people the Stage IV area on this same site.  This forum has amazing women - you'll also find more of the same over on the stage IV forum.  Check it out over there when you get back online, because you'll find many of us are living wonderful lives despite mets!   I have never had any problems with anyone over there - such amazing and loving people and they are always there to hold my hand in cyberspace when the journey gets difficult. 

    I was stage IV off the bat, and have lung and brain mets.....2 years now and planning another 30!   Just know you are not alone on this journey. Feel free to PM me anytime :>

    Cyber shout out to you CS!!!!

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited May 2010
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    lil, Malta - welcome to the both of you...I'm sure I speak for all when I say you're welcome to join! There's an area on the boards that covers just about every perspective you would need, so I hope you are both able to get all your questions answered.

    Hi to everyone else...I haven't been posting much because I've been popping in and out during the day. I'm still homebound from surgery although, I go back tomorrow for my 2nd follow up and I expect them to clear me for returning to work and maybe swimming and the stationary bike? We'll see, the pool surely would be nice given the holiday weekend and weather ;)

    I hope you are all doing well, and regardless of whether you are getting out of town or staying close to home, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! Take a moment to remember those who served, and are still serving our country with pride!

    XOXO

    Bonnie 

  • sister_with
    sister_with Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2010
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    No you are not alone. I have been searching the web looking for support groups for lesbians and came across your forum. I am in Las Vegas Nv. Where are you?

  • sister_with
    sister_with Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2010
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    Hi again. I obviously am new to forums - I didn't realize that there was more than the top one when I clicked to reply. I am glad I came across this site. It would be nice if we all had support groups around the world more. Sisters sending hugs, hope and faith. Enjoy the holiday weekend.

  • sister_with
    sister_with Member Posts: 3
    edited June 2010
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    Hello everyone. Hope the weekend and pretty much of this week has been ok. Still awaiting my friday appointment to find out the specifics. Wish ya all the best.Smile
  • Stew
    Stew Member Posts: 1
    edited June 2010
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    Hi Guys

    I finished treatment in October last year, but still need a "hit" from you folks every so often. Love to you all -

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited June 2010
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    Welcome Stew...nice to "meet" you! I also finished treatment (a year ago) in October, but it's taken me until this past January to really feel like I've recovered from the treatments. I expected to feel like hell during treatment...just not for over a year after it!

    Sister - a big welcome to you too...I did the same thing when I first found the boards, responded without realizing there was a whole page of posts (or more probably), I'm sure more of us do it than not! Let us know how it went Friday, I hope you got all the info you were looking for!

    I'm so ready to get this boot off and start walking on my new ankle! Alas, the doc said 6 more weeks before that happens...but I've progressed to the point where I can at least swim (without using that ankle but good enough to get in and out of the pool), and given the temperatures here this week, I'll take it! I'm determined to be at the walk on DC next year...come hell or high water!

    I hope everyone is doing well, we've been quite this week so I hope that means were all busy having fun! I'm off to surf and catch up...I haven't been on as much with going back to work and watching the Stanley Cup playoffs every other night.

  • cancersucks
    cancersucks Member Posts: 100
    edited October 2010
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    Hey all,

    Hello chaninz web shout out right back to you! I wanted to know if anyone's dealing with hotflashes from the Tamoxifen! Any suggestions, other than effexor, I really do not want to go on any chemical that might mess with the Tamox I already heard that Turmeric messes with it, most citrus fruit etc.etc.etc  Just thought I'd ask, hope everyone is well and in good spirits, sending positive vibes out there to everyone.

    Navygirl, how are things now that you are back to work? I'm worried about the adjustment myself, and the stares and questions....

    Hi Stew, so glad you found someone or rather they found you, and good pick up line! I truly believe everything happens for a reason, none of us know the reason though, that's the crappy part.

    I was bopping around on the post and another sister had a great line "If I was a mouse, I'd be cured by now!" New treatments moving forward, we all have to have hope!

    Have a great weekend everyone, Hello to Gert and Dee hope you two are doing well, haven't een you in awhile but I know everyone is out and about now that the weather is a lot better.

    CS

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited June 2010
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    Hey there, everyone.  Took a vacation - camping in Arkansas mountains.  It was pretty nice.  It was a relief just to get out of town, even if I had to take my whiny teenagers with me.  I won't say it's good to be back - I could have used another week or even two of the great outdoors and cooler weather than TX. 

    CS - I'm not doing Tamox but am having hot flashes due to natural menopause.  I'm currently on Effexor, but I have to say that other than making me groggy enough to sleep through most of the night sweats, it's not terrible effective.  I'm still sweating, and it's hard to prove whether it would be worse without the drug.  So you're not missing much, from my standpoint.  I do know that tumeric is claimed to be a natural anti-inflammatory; I didn't know that it offsets Tamox.

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited June 2010
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    welcome back book, I'm so jealous of that vacation...I'd have been tempted not to come back at all teenagers in tow or not~

    Cancer...it's fine for me, but I worked all through treatments so they kind of saw it as it happened and I didn't get many startes unless I had to go to another building complex or something like that. The femara is killing me with hot flashses but I can't see the sense in taking one more pill - financially or for my body's sake. I'm already on 4 prescriptions now compared to not being on anything before this all started. I spend $100.00 a month at the pharmacy, it' a $100.00 I could use towards groceries or debt!

    Ugh...can't go down that road, it just annoys me :)

    Hope you all are having as good a Monday as you can have!

  • GML
    GML Member Posts: 46
    edited June 2010
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    CS--Tamoxifen was a nightmare for me.  Not so much because it led to night sweats...I was already having those....but it made me feel like I was losing it.  It was like the worst PMS I've ever had...terrible anxiety, depression and I was obsessing about things.....could not shut my head off.  I told my oncologist that if I didn't have a counseling memo in my e file at work in the next six months that it would be a friggen miracle.  They talked about doing bloodwork to see if I was truly in menopause or not but then oncologist said that the bloodwork could say I was, they could put me on arimidex, but if I got my period in 4 months then that would mean I had four months without tx.  I asked her if the increase survival rate was equivalent to that "stellar" five percent that I would have got with radiation.  She shook her head and said that she will argue more with women about hormonal therapy than she will about chemo and scheduled me to have ovaries removed.....so, that's part of where I have been.  Had them removed May 18th and then my mother died on May 20th.  It's been a really bad year.  My mother, rest her soul, had very advanced dementia, so she is at peace at least now.  But it still sucks.

    And in the midst of all the above, my partner and I were rear ended by some 20 something year old kid who was probably texting his BFF instead of watching the road.  Over $8,000 damage to my DP's Rav4 and I have a herniated disc and am now adding PT to my list of appointments.  My partner had a concussion.  I'm beginning to think that someone who hates me traveled down to New Orleans and purchased a voodoo doll (maybe two). 

    So, anyways, CS, my mood has never been more even before in my life.  I told my gynecologist today at follow up that if I knew this I would have had the damn things ripped out 30 years ago.  I am on the arimidex and I'm only a few weeks in but I notice no side effects thus far.  I know others aren't as lucky....so that's my two cents. 

    Vacation....ahhh...time off without surgery scheduled.  We are headed to Ptown for girlsplash week.  CS we'll wave to you from the shore!

    Welcome to Cindoe, Malta, lil wilde and sister with.....sorry you have to be here but at the same time glad you found us.  Great bunch of women in here....

    GML

  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 253
    edited June 2010
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    i think there are many lesbians out there.  i spend most of my time on the stage III boards.  trying to help....this cancer business is tough. ihope all is well...and hang in there.

    diana

  • cancersucks
    cancersucks Member Posts: 100
    edited October 2010
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    GML,

    I don't think a cyberhug is going to cut it here. I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. You are right, she is in a better place right now. I don't even know where to begin. Sorry to hear about the accident. I wish I could put us all in a bubble so we didn't have to suffer anymore. I want to shout out "Please be careful in Ptown!!!!" That place can get a little rowdy, especially with the young gals that are coming fom Lincoln, NE and are forced to live a closeted life or die. They kinda go wild down there (Can't say I blame them) One day at a time GML, it was good to see you are still visiting the thread but it sucks that you're having such a rough time, hang in there, and I hope things get better. Enjoy P town, the Lobster Pot, people watching, Commercial Street and the beach. Be safe, CS

  • cancersucks
    cancersucks Member Posts: 100
    edited July 2010
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    Hey Diana,

    I almost forgot to say hello to you. I see you are almost 9 years out, that's good news. I'm so glad to hear that you are helping others. I see Chainz out there all the time with advice as well (Chainz, I'm mentioning you again cause I think you're a rock star) always giving, giving, giving. I just can't get over all the selflessness and caring that this site is saturated in, it is so rare to find that anywhere in this day in age. You mentioned that there are other queer women out there, I am sure that there are but I think I might know why more don't poke there head in on this thread. It would lead a thread trail. Unfortunately, homophobia does exist even on Breastcancer.org, but that's okay. I know it is fear of the unknown and a little bit of ignorance. Most of the women are pretty amazing, homophobia is everywhere, moving on....I'm glad you're out there Diana and you're right this cancer stuff is rough but it makes it easier when the ones that took the road before us, look back to lend a hand and give us newbies some guidence. I don't take that for grant it, I am grateful :)

  • chainsawz
    chainsawz Member Posts: 113
    edited June 2010
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    I agree...there are probably many more out there, but people know where ya post around this place.  I personally don't give a crapola, but I know it can be hard for others :>  CS, you are too funny cause I am definitely just a usual gal....with stage IV I get plenty of drama, so I don't seek out any extra...LOL!!!   I'd rather use my space on this planet for fun, wiseass cracks and paying it forward. 

    GML - what a year you are having....I am so sorry.  Enjoy girlsplash because you definitely deserve some fun!! 

    Diana - dx in 2002?!  You are definitely someone who people with stage III need to see...I'm glad you post over there.  We have a woman who posts over on the stage IV forum who was dx as 4 17 years ago....never had NED.  I love when she posts each year.  People need to know what is possible!!

    I hope everyone is having a great summer so far!  My partner and I are organizing a camping trip up in the cool mountains with 16+ of our best gay guy friends - this should be hilarious to say the least!  Some of them are pushing to make pork tenderloin with some fancy sauce for dinner.  Whaaa?  They say we can eat exquisitely even if we are camping.....the leb-e-sians have nixed the idea and replaced with hamburgers and veggie burgers...bwaaahaahaa!! 

  • cindoe
    cindoe Member Posts: 17
    edited June 2010
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    Yeah when Chris and I went camping with our gay guy friends they would have that, and lobster, and all sorts of good eats! HaHa

  • cindoe
    cindoe Member Posts: 17
    edited June 2010
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    They had their tents lookin better than my home!

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited June 2010
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    The flash flood that took so many lives in Arkansas was only about 20 miles from where we were camped 3 weeks ago.  A little scary.

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited June 2010
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    That's horrible bookart, how did I miss hearing about that? I'm glad you were not still there in a tent, even if it was 20 miles away -it really is SCARY!

    I'm on lunch so I thought I would check in...I got on the scale this morning and was wonderfully surprised to see I am down 12lbs since my surgery! Very, very happy about that! I go back to the Onc. in a few and and I'd love to get on THAT scale for a change and have it be downLaughing I hate that scale...I'm going to a meeting this week to become a mentor to new BC patients. It should be interesting; I tried to get my PCP office to start something like this up but for whatever reason they say they are interested in sitting down to hear my ideas, then they blow me off. So, I found a group that's already been started and thanks to a heads up from one of our boardsisters here I'm going to get a chance to see what this group is all about and maybe join them instead.

    I hope all is well with everyong...check in when you can! You know we worry Wink

  • helpworriedgal
    helpworriedgal Member Posts: 1
    edited June 2010
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    I am glad that all of you are doing well. I am 43 y.o. lesbian, single, scared, living alone, unemployed coz of recession. Last monday I had my addt'l spot magnify view of my upper right breast & found Microcalcification. I have an appt with my primary on June 28th & expecting to get a biopsy schedule. I am worried bcoz i feel pain on my right right breast. I am scared bcoz the govt hospital might still charge me with the expenses coz i am still receiving unemployment every week. The worst thing is that I am alone and scared to death. Do you really feel pain if you have microcalcification?

    God bless us All.