I know I cant be the only lesbian out here?
Comments
-
HAPPY EASTER!
0 -
Hope everyone is having a great spring. I'm really sore - I'm 3.5 months out from BMX surgery and spent the weekend building a sculpture (digging and carrying rock) raking leaves, hanging pictures in the galleries, etc. Owie. I hurt. Owie, owie, owie owie. Dang it! Nice weather makes me want to work outside and get stuff done! Can't stop, won't stop.
0 -
Book - I had my bmx 08/08....it does get better. It takes time for all that stuff to heal up! Spring is awesome, but wearing me out....in a good way! Your sculpture sounds interesting - you should post a pic when it's done :>
0 -
I'm straight and looked at this thread just to see why and how sexual orientation would affect breast cancer. A couple of comments, I used to manage a medical office and about 90% of our patients (myself included) wanted female gynecologists. I was rather freaked out during radiation when a guy without introducing himself would walk in, move my gown aside and move my breast into position for radiation. So its straight women too who don't like the invasion of privacy. I think it has more to being treated like a piece of meat rather than a person, than it has to do with whether you are gay or straight. By the way how do you send a PM? I can't figure it out.
I hope you don't mind me barging in on this thread.
0 -
Flying - to PM just click on the person's screen name and you will be taken to their profile page....there you will see the line "send member a private message" in the upper right hand side. Click on it, and you will get the message box and you can type away. If you get a PM, you will see next to the Private Message tab at the top of the page when you log in. Click on that, and you can read the message.
I'm not sure about what you were looking for with the affecting breast cancer and sexual orientation? If this thread with its low numbers is an indicator, then maybe lesbians get it less?? I'm just making that up!!
Your post made me think of my first mammo....the female tech grabbed my breast and slapped it up on the platform like a slab of ham...LOL!! She kept grabbing it and shifting it around.....that was so NOT cool for me and I was embarrased! I personally don't care if my techs and docs are male or female.....I just care if they are they are good and want to save my life :> peace!
0 -
Chainz, so true, I just feel more comfortable with a female gyne, female surgeon, etc. I have had some really bad experiences with male doctors, I can honestly say, I do not think these bad experiences would have happened with female doctors. One male doctor said in his very thick german accent before he was about to give me a pap smear "Hmm.......so you are a lesbian a, so you don't like men touching you a, well, this shall be very interesting." CREEPY BEYOND BELIEF!
After those comments, I told him my very bad experience with the last male gyne (let's just say it was pretty bad) He looked at me in disbelief and got a female nurse. I would have walked out right then and there but I took the day off from work to make that appointment. Sometimes it's nice to be able to relate with someone who is going through the same thing, feelings of isolation, being misunderstood and homophobic attitudes. I can honeslty say that I don't think a lot of straight women know how homophobia feels, just my thoughts.
0 -
maybe it's just me, but it does say "lesbians with breast cancer" not trying to be snide, just making an observation.
too tired to go anywhere with my thoughts... so I'll just say HI and Bye for now...
0 -
I do think there are some things about healthcare and breast cancer that affect lesbians a little different than straight women, but not a ton. I've been teased that some of my artwork is an obsession with breasts, but since the work is abstract I have to say that it is in the mind of the observer - if they didn't know I was a lesbian would they think that? I've never identified as a lesbian artist; instead, I'm an artist that happens to be a lesbian, or a lesbian that happens to be an artist. There is a difference. My lesbianism doesn't rule my life, unlike 20+ years ago when it did, more so. It is just one facet. So for me, as a lesbian with breast cancer, it is more about connecting with others of a similar mindset and experience, rather than any special needs or extreme differences. Certainly, I don't have a DH!!! like so many other women on these boards.
0 -
I also don't care if the docs, nurses, or whatever are male or female. I have had both and had good and bad experiences equally. I can understand wanting a female doctor more than a male though. Maybe just the comfort level of not having to explain all the female stuff only another female can really understand. CS, your experience made me cringe, sorry you had to go through that BS. All you ladies stay strong and be well and happy! Looks like spring is here finally. Have a beautiful day!
0 -
Hello ladies,
Okay, I thought I would ask a random question. So, I got this little crush on someone but she doesn't know it, she too was diagnosed with BC but she is well beyond treatment. I like her, I think she might like me as well but of course there is a catch; She's from Canada (oh and not on this site) She doesn't even know about this site. Just thought I'd get some opinions. Should I just not go there?
How is everyone?
Hope all is well heading into this weekend!
0 -
I had an answer all written up and my computer froze up - too tired to try again, so you'll have to wait for my two pennies worth. Sorry!
0 -
Doing okay here, TGIF!!!! Short and sweet..Don't go there, unless you plan to move there or she move here. An internet, phone or skype relationship won't cut it too long.
0 -
Bookart, such a tease
When do we get to see some of your art? How are you healing from the BMX? I still get tightness. I don't miss my big boobs, I must say they were pretty darn big. They didn't fit my body. I wish I couldve lost them without that cloud over my head but what was that quote from Forrest Gump, "life is like a box of chocolates, ya never know what you're going to get." Dee1961, I love your pics, the kitten pic is great that's kind of how I feel. Why does she have to live in Canada!!!??? It's a nice thought to think it could work Bookart, let's hope you tell me how I can make this work, it would be nice just to meet her, face to face, maybe go out on a date, It would be nice to get back to the real world and not everything cancer. She has such a great outlook and doesn't care that I had to have a BMX, she's intelligent, funny, witty and unfortunately lives fa fa fa away. She might as well live on Pluto, Uggg!!!!!
. . . . 0 -
Chainz, I hope you are doing well, haven't heard from ya, so of course, I gotta give you a shout out!
0 -
Hey CS - thanks for checkin' on me! I'm around, just work is a little busy. I always say that I hate when work interferes with my personal life...LOL!! As for your previous post....always go for it....life is definitely too short! If anything, it will help distract you from thinking about the cancer 24\7 and that can be a good thing : >
0 -
Flying...It's not that the sexual orientation effects breast cancer, for me it's that sexual orientation can effect almost everything. Someone once asked me why gay and lesbian people had to "come out"....after all, she said, she didn't feel the need to announce that she was heterosexual. My response to her was that heterosexuality is assumed in our society and unless I come out to her or anyone else in my life, they will truly know nothing about me. How could I share what I did over the weekend, on vacation, on Holidays; the things that people talk about all the time at work or in social situations, without coming out? My partner has been by my side throughout my treatment, something I couldn't have done without "coming out" as how else would I explain her presence without lying about it? And as wonderful as some people are about it....it remains a reality that a lot of people aren't so "wonderful" about it...and a select bunch are downright hurtful and dangerous about it....and unless it's happened to you, it's hard to understand. And unforturnately, coming out is not a "one time" event because I meet new people all the time....such as people on this website.....and I see those people frequently refer to their "dh". If I want to refer to my partner...it requires me to "come out", which I can and have done. But, sometimes flying....I just get tired of the whole coming out thing and want to talk to my lesbian sisters because I just know they truly get it.....
I hope that makes sense....peace and love everyone.
GML
0 -
Amen, GML! Ah, Cancer - the long distance thing. I did it for two years while I was in graduate school. It actually was OK but then when we were in the same place it turned out we had moved apart too much emotionally to make it work. If all you want is some fun, a fling, and that's mutually acceptable, then go for it. If you are looking for someone to settle down with, then one or the other has to be willing to re-locate. And who wants to relocate without spending some time in the same place to see whether it will work or not? I've known of a few that it has worked for, more that it has not. Some people do better not living with their SO. Depends on the people.
As for the BMX - its almost 3 months and I did think I would be farther along. I'm doing PT for a back injury (gotten while sleeping, so I don't take the blame for that one), but overall I keep trying to do more, overdo and then have to back off. It's pretty frustrating. I'm ready to move on, but my body isn't. Because I did BMX for DCIS, I didn't have to do chemo or rad, and thought that would make my healing faster. It might have, but it still seems slow to me.
I'll try to insert a pic or two. [well that didn't work, for whatever reason] You can search people on Flickr and type in elainetaylorart to see some work. I don't have a lot on there, I need to get busy and post more.
0 -
Thank you ladies for all your advice
I got an email from her tonight when I got home, all I gotta say is OUCH!!!!!!
She just basically said she likes me "soooooo much" but we can't go there, but wants to be friends still. I'm only one month out of some serious hardcore treatment so it's probably best. It's weird to be dumped and we weren't even dating. She did it in such a nice, adult, respectful cute way.....Geeeesh, I feel kinda lucky to have been dumped so gently. Oh Canada!!!! God dang it!!! Why do you have to be so fa fa fa away! Have a good weekend everyone! (((((Hugs to all)))))
0 -
((((CS)))) - I hate when it ends before it even has a chance to begin, but I guess it was meant to be....there are better things in your future I am sure!!
0 -
Thanks for the support Chainz, I sent you a PM, a very magical, sincere PM, okay, maybe not magical but sincere, that was awesome of LostinBronx, I promote that so much!
Oh, Hi Board (non confrontational wave) I'm showing you some unconditional love with a dash of tumeric & black pepper. CS
0 -
LOL!! CS, your PM was indeed magical and sincere...you definitely make the day cheerier! Is your non confrontational wave a result of some other crazy thread you were posting in? I saw that got shut down completely....I'm surprised it too the moderators so long. I'm glad to see you made it out with your sense of humor intact!
I am also glad to see that website lostinbronx posted.....very cool!!
0 -
I feel like all I do is complain - I'm sore, I'm tired, I'm frustrated. Had the lovely pelvic today after an even unlovelier TV ultrasound on Monday (I'll spell it out if you need me to). Oww, oww, oww. I always have to remind them I'm a lesbian - don't sleep with men, don't stick big ole things up my T-wat-ay except once a year for my favorite tests! My BS had not sent over the pathology, so the promised Scream Cream (for more libido) wasn't on order until my OB has given the formula an all-clear. Bummer. I think my partner thinks we'll never have sex again, post surgery and post menopause.
At least I'm good with all the lower half - nothing there but a few cysts and polyps and that c**p. Well, on visual - still have to wait for the report.
So a further bitch - I drove 20 miles today to pick up compression sleeves and because I have really large biceps because of my sculpture work but small wrists (because I'm tiny SOMEWHERE other than my mind) the ones they had ordered for me were the wrong size. Looks like I will have to have expensive custom-made lymphedema sleeves. Dang it. Of course, I took the opportunity to stop at my favorite stone yard and pick up some stone. No one else knows I'm hauling stone - you all are in on my secret! I'm not supposed to be lifting that much yet.
I'm bad, I know it. But I need the stone and better to pick it up today without help than waste more time this weekend when I need all the help making the sculpture. Besides, the stoneyard guys did a lot of the lifting, so I'm giving myself a gold star for today. It wasn't that much. I'm sore because of the PT I'm doing, not the stonework. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.0 -
Hey all, WOW, I feel like a polly anna because I have not heard the word twa.......twa......I can't say it, used since I was 10, some girls called me it right before they pounced on me and beat the twa.....twa........ still can't say it, out of me. Maybe I have bad associations with the word and that's why I utterly hate it. C**nt is another least favorite.
I'm looking forward to the weekend and bookart I have a D&C coming up, and I'm not looking forward to that. Sorry to hear about the aches and pains and lymphedema, take it easy woman , don't lift to much. I can't believe all the pleasent things I read. I just read on a site (that was talking about Amy Mickelson's breast cancer) that MOST women die when the tumor is agressive no matter how early it is caught. Oh, that's pleasent and it was said so matter of factly. Let's bring the insenstivity up a notch.I hate to say it but it was a dude that wrote it (((((((shocking))))))) I am no man hater but makes you just want to say STFU, I can translate if need be but there's a swear word in it. Some people just don't get it, I wouldn't mind this but can't they just STFU and not get it? Have a good weekend ladies!
0 -
Sorry, Cancer - that spelling was from a hilarious lesbian comedy routine - I tried to think how to explain but couldn't - it makes me laugh just to think about it, though. I don't usually use the word.
I may end up with a D&C also. I'm hoping I can hold out for an ablation after my OB moves to her new office in Sept. She will offer one without anesthesia then, which sounds gruesome, but is with spinal block. I really don't want to do more anesthesia anytime soon. My brains are still scrambled. We'll see how the lower half handles things the next few months.
My experience with friends and family with breast cancer is mixed, as several died of it, but I know a lot of survivors, too. It's funny how you don't hear as much about the everyday survivor. Several women I know have quietly "come out" to me as bc survivors of up to 10 years or even more - a neighbor, a colleague, a local artist friend. I never knew before that. Others I have known about because of my mother's cancer. I think that a lot of women have kept it quiet, either being very private or feeling some weird-ass shame or something. Statistics are largely bull, as they can be manipulated to "prove" or "disprove" anything - I've seen it in action. So that bastard can just STFU - I'm with you there.
0 -
hey girlfriends,only ((iswear!) 2nite i started reading ur posts. i'm straight,with a lot of lesbian friends, and i might say a huge lesbian crush on my drs. nurse who is gay also. i didnt realize it WOULD creep u out with people "peeping. but,after the previous post, i thought,i dont want u to think im a perve, or something. i'm not in the closet,tried a relationship for awhile;just enjoy men. straight/bi only acting on one for almost 40 yrs..if its ok i'd like 2 at least listen.. my sense of humor is more fitting here, i almost wet my pants with the fake boobs 2 kmart thing.. would like to hear from (sorry,I didnt get the names trying not to be too obtrusive) of the sisa that has lupus and bc. i have ms, a cousin and chemo buried me, nearly. do me a favor, and e mail me.kind of a "group conscience" thing..i won't come on if it makes ugirls uncomfortable. I just have not felt very comfortable or been welcomed into other sites.don't want you to be looking over your shoulders for me tho..i know u need ur space,too. look my email up in my profile and let me know.. light and love, cherie
0 -
Jumping to a new topic - I'm amazed at the number of women on this site (not this thread) who are continually obsessing about getting bigger and better breasts than they had before, and how they're not sexy if they don't have their breasts, etc. The January Mastectomy thread that I follow because my BMX was in January has been almost solely about TEs and reconstruction and PS appts, etc for the past month or so. Don't these women think about anything else? Some of them couldn't even look at themselves sans breasts. While I understand that it can be shocking at first, there are a lot more important things out there. I'm flumoxed by their fixation on their physical appearance. Although I have never claimed to be less than vain, even I know that my body is just one part of my sexuality and sensuality. Also, having seen many variations in breasts shapes and sizes (both through multiple lovers over the past 30 years and from several years of attending MWMF), I know that there is no perfect except in advertising or too young for me! Is this just a hetero thing? Or am I just a weirdo? - always possible. My partner calls me a freak (affectionately)
0 -
I agree with you. I have a straight friend who just couldn't believe I didn't care about whacking my boobs off and not replacing them with bags o' fake stuff. In her world breasts are important - mine, not so much. I don't understand her, but on the other hand she doesn't understand me either...LOL!!
I don't mind my flat chest......to me it means more of my nasty cancer is out of me. I keep threatening my friends that one day I'll be walking down the street topless....no nips....no charges!!! Lucky for them, I have a chemo belly and not ready to do it :>
0 -
I just have a fat belly - can't even blame chemo! But I plan on going topless at the beach at some point. I can't wait for some fish-belly fat man with bigger boobs than I ever had try to tell me - BMX cancer survivor - to put a shirt on. The s**t will fly. LOL! I'm the amazon warrior princess and I WILL kick butt!
So maybe we need to have a topless, nip-less rally some day for all the un-reconstructed survivors. Could be quite fun! Wonder what it would take to get a permit? HEE! 0 -
Good morning,
I figure I will add my 2 cents here. Just like you have your opinions on not having reconstruction, other have theirs on having it done to feel more whole after their mastectomies. Many women identify their sexuality with their breasts and hair and ect. That's why we have topics about hair and breasts on the board. Even if you don't understand it maybe you can ask the ones that are going through it why is was important to them. And no it's not just a hetero thing, I had recon because having breasts make me feel more sexy. I did have a hell of of time with recon though, but my boobs look awesome
No they are nothing like the real ones, but hey they were trying to kill me, right?! Hope you all are having a nice weekend!0 -
Good morning girls! Just popping in to say I am a fellow lavendar lady! My partner, Paula, and I have been together almost 16 years. I have a grown daughter who is married, with a 17-month-old son and is due in May with a girl! We also have an adopted 18-year-old son with autism spectrum disorder. I was glad to find this thread on the forum, which I just joined yesterday. I hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine we are here in KY. It's a bit cooler than the past couple of weeks, but beautiful just the same!
Mo
0
