thread for middle age to older Christian women.
Comments
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KTF: Congratulations on the new grandson. I hope mom is doing okay and you get some rest.
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KTF, what joyous news! Who needs sleep when you have witnessed one of God's greatest miracles.
GardenGal, thanks so much for hanging in there with us. All of you encouragers don't realize how lucky we are to have you by our sides.
Update on the new pain meds. So far, only real side effect is swollen calf and foot. I was able to get more than 20-minutes sleep at a shot last night. Sleepy today because I'm assuming my body needs to get used to the new stuff. So far, I've been at the computer working for several hours (likely contributing to the swelling, ha ha) but I'm actually able to walk without the shooting pain in the leg and hip. I'm praying for another good trial day today so as to make it through the scans tomorrow. I'm very nervous about having to go through what I went through last Friday or not being able to have the scan done. Prayers for peace are surely welcome! Love and hugs to all and a happy New Year! Sue
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Happy New Year Ladies!!! I've been keeping up with you and praying for your needs. It's so good to know God hears and answers our prayers.
KTF, SO thrilled and thankful to God that your baby grandson was born! I'm praying your daughter is doing well.
Sue - I'm praying hard for you that the pain meds work and you'll be able to handle the scans.
Thank you all for your encouragement and for taking the time to include the many prayer needs in the posts - it really helps!
As we enter this new year may God's presence and grace be even more present, may our trust in the LORD that His ways are always perfect be stronger, and may we lean and rest even more in His promises. May others see how God is working in our lives, so they may be drawn closer to Him and for those who do not know Him, may they be saved for eternity.
For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our
hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the
face of Jesus Christ...we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Corinthians 4:6-70 -
KTF - Congrats on the new life. Babies are such a blessing for sure. The love they bring to everyone is so special. Enjoy the baby and keep us posted. Prayers for mom and baby. Thanks for sharing.
Sue - thanks for explaining your situation. I appreciate it.
MHG - sounds like things are progressing positively for you regarding the meds. I am praying for peace and comfort in the days ahead.
We'll today I may be experiencing fatigue. I just feel so lazy and actually didn't take a shower until 4:30.Just laid around all day and watched tv. Not very hungry either. Noticed some things that I normally enjoy don't taste very good and couple of things make me gag. SE are still minimal on this treatment but certainly feeling it. If you recall a couple of weeks ago I was wondering how it was working for me on this weekly chemo and having 2 shots of neupogen and knowing what my nadir is. After talking more to nurse during treatment she explained that with my chemo every Monday and the neupogen shots on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings which are fast acting that I really shouldn't experience a huge dip ever in between treatments. So nadir will be very seldom. But I am still to be very cautious of sick people and germs when out and about.
I am now at 3 weeks from when I started losing my hair. It is thinned out but still able to style it and I put hairspray to keep it from showering all over. Still not ready to buzz it but it may be soon. It is very silver in color. I may go get it trimmed shorter tomorrow just to keep it short. I style it with gel and spike it out. Kind of fun actually, might as well enjoy it right?
Well check in later...blessings to all...Lucy
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Happy New Year ALL. Still enduring a roller coaster life as we all do. Just wanted to say hi!
Flowers
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Thank you ladies
Had to share! Tatum says Happy New Year!!!
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What an adorable baby!
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KTF....So happy for you!!!
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beautiful baby, how is everyone doing. Looking forward to getting all this treatment stuff behind me. All your posts are helpful to me and I a learning a lot. Never in my life did I think that I would want to know so much about cancer.
I am glad that God is in control. I am learning everything I can because knowing God, someone I meet will need all this information. I have many good days but every know and then a sadness comes over me and I do not like it at all. Does anyone go through this.0 -
I just found this thread and am so glad...
joannaraku- I have had anxiousness, sadness, worries, and all throughout this chemotherapy regime. Had them at first diagnosis also. The mastectomy and expander exchange surgeries and recoveries I had none of it...I think it is related to the chemotherapy/cancer diagnosis and medications and hormonal changes. AT least in my case... going into chemopause abruptly has been challenging. Hot flashes every 30 minutes all night long, sleep disturbances, lack of sleep, side effects from chemo, side effects from medications.
I read the bible daily, Jesus calling, and Joel Osteen Break out, Dodie Osteen cancer survival, and even after all of that, some days I still have sadness and just feel down.
I have a friend that's a psychologist and she says our serotonin levels are off and the meds and changes and all...it's quite normal to feel down at times...or days at a time with this...made me feel better to know...
I have seen a counselor through the last month and worked on visual imagery and that seems to help too, visualizing positive future things...
Cymbernardi- wondering about your prophylactic oophorectomy....??? Did you get it to stop estrogen? Or was there cysts or problems? I am wondering and seeing gynecologist next month to ask about it....as I'm estrogen positive ...how was the recovery from surgery and surgery itself? Did you keep uterus?
thanks
Bless you all!
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Welcome Audra!
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thanks ladies!
good to see you here, Audra!
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Yes, welcome Audra! Your treatment plan is pretty much the exact opposite of mine so I may be asking a bunch of questions in a month or two! I have a taxotere/herceptin/perjeta chemo tomorrow then ONE MORE (yep, I'm yelling, sorry!) on January 24. At this point, the plan is that I'll have a mastectomy at the end of February then rads (unless, please God, chemo has killed all the cancer cells) and reconstruction. I'm thinking of a DIEP rather than implants (which my MO wouldn't do if I have rads anyway) so the original surgery would be less complicated (no TE). How did you find them? Any problems with them or the implants?
Joanna, the most important way I know God is guiding me through the whole BC journey is that I'm not worrying or planning - and that is REALLY big for me. God has given me a peace about the whole treatment process and all that's to come. It took me a while to realize it - you know how hard it is to recognize when something isn't there or isn't happening? A month or two into the whole process, I finally began realizing how calm I was and knew it was all God. That said, I've had some down days in the past month - after sailing through the first couple of months of chemo with very little problem or SE (thank you, God and lots of friends for praying and supporting me through!). For the past few weeks I've been dealing with a bunch of gastro stuff and I emailed my MO to see if I could have something topical for pain. When I first met with her, she assured and reassured me with her manner - said not to suffer but to call her and she could fix whatever was happening. Her response this time? Sitz baths. I wanted DRUGS! (yelling again, sorry). Well, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and finally thought it would be a good time to pray. As soon as I did, I had the bright idea of reading from my Jesus Today book. The page I opened to read, "Rejoice and exult in hope....Be constant in prayer - at all
times, but especially when you are struggling...[M]ake full use of the
amazing source of strength within you - My Spirit." A couple of days after that,
as a part of the
message at church, we saw a video clip of a women's track race. One of
the runners literally fell flat on her face in the race - then not only
got up and continued to run, she won the
race. Well, it was pretty easy to apply that all to me. I started the
breast cancer journey really well but had kind of fallen down over the
past couple of weeks. I'd been thinking how miserable I felt and all that was to come with surgery, reconstruction, etc., etc. I'm done with that thinking now, though. With God's help and lots of prayers, I'm going to not only finish but win the BC race. We all can and will - we have the Great Physician on our team and we know the end of the story. Satan may have a field day now and then but (okay, here's another saying from my fridge): Satan can't do a thing to us unless he first gets God's permission. The only time God gives Satan permission is when He sees the tremendous potential in the thing passing through us and sees the result as joy, pure joy! We are all going to be better Christians, stronger women and have fantastic testimonies about God's power in our lives when this is done......right?!Lucy, (Dr. Bev here again, of course), if you still have enough hair after three weeks that you can do something with it, maybe it will only thin and you'll keep what you have? Is it still coming out? Mine drifted down around me constantly once it started, after about 16 days. Should we all buy stock in hair spray companies?
Sue, so glad the new pain meds are working out. How did the tests today go? Praying that all will go smoothly and you'll have results and a treatment plan soon.
Debbie, how are you making out with your new (kind of) leg?
Becky, still praying for you - let us know how all the tests go and your treatment plan.
Char, thanks so much for hanging around with/for us. Your posts are so encouraging and such a blessing!
Kathy, hope you're readjusting to cold weather. What a time to head north!
Keep warm, all. It's going to be below freezing tonight even here in Texas and I know lots of areas are frigid with heavy snow forecasts.
love you all - Bev
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Hi Keep the faith!
SaltyJack-
My surgeries were easiest, best part- the chemo is awful! I went to Colorado to have mine done, we have a family friend that is plastic surgeon -trained at Johns Hopkins and amazing- he has a team as he does a lot of breast reconstruction from breast cancer- so his general surgeon (Harvard trained) did a nipple sparing, skin sparing mastectomy and then he did implants as I am small and had no stomach to use for diep....I would've preferred that and he and his partner are renowned for that especially....but I got the gummy implants...my only complaint from those are they are cold as ice!!!! always! Probably good as I'm getting a lot of hot flashes in the middle of winter...but normally I'm a freezing cold person and everytime I change clothes or feel them they are freezing...they are the latest and best of implants...he is also on the board of mentor (breast implants) and said these are great...anyhow...got about same size I was previously and he also did a fat grafting (lipo) of my 'love handle' areas and put that in around the implants....when they remove your breast tissue it makes the implants show more as just skin over them...so anyway he squirts that around to add plumpness to replace the breast tissue. The insurance covers all of this reconstruction and has no time limit...I am supposed to go back and get thighs lipo to put more around breasts in a few months...but I think I will wait until next fall....
Anyhow, the big thing that was annoying was the drains....I had 4 drains for a week...sometimes they leave them in longer, ...then he came down here for a football game and checked them a week later...so those are follow ups 1 and 2 weeks out...actually I had tissue expanders in for a month and then had another surgery in Denver to exchange those for implants and that was about a 2 hour surgery. Very easy and recovery was like a week.
The mastectomy recovery was about 5 weeks before I felt normal and not tired, 3 weeks when I felt good enough to do things again....the first week was worst with pain and general surgery stuff.
So that was the from God thing, that we had him..I was very nervous and anxious before deciding to go up there as to who I would use, I don't know any Dr's here....and am leary - I used to be a nurse....
He called one day as he had heard I had breast cancer and gave me tons of information and options on Dr's he knows in Texas and then he said - or you could come here and I could do it...that was when I knew God had a plan and I was going to be OK...as I trust this DR totally and in saying that, I think you really need to LOVE and TRUST your surgeons...
any other questions ask away...
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So nice to have new folks join the thread. Welcome aboard Audra. Never thought about implants being cold. You gave lots of great information.
Joanna: I think with all the treatment and drugs, it would make sense that one would experience sadness. I remember how before my hysterectomy that my hormones were so out of whack that I would go from one emotion to another. I could never figure out why and after My surgery I felt so much better and "normal" emotionally. Those crazy hormones!
Bev: You said it best. We have to trust God and when we do we will have peace, but when we lose sight of that we often experience anxiety and worry. We can't change the outcome by worrying so we may as we'll let God take the wheel and steer. I feel like you that He has it covered.
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audra-welcome good to see you over here!
Joanna-How can you go thru cancer and NOT feel sad?! As Christians we can rest in knowing God is in control and use that knowledge to help us get out of our "funks" that we can and will get into. After my first round of chemo before I had found this site I had a day I was so down and I couldn't stop crying. We had just moved to a new town about a month before i was dignosed. So i had little support here. My oldest had just stared his first day of college, my husband started his fall teaching class (he is a professer at a university which is 5 hr away so he travels during the school yr and is home on the weekends) I was dealing with no sleep from the steroids and still in pain and frightened not knowing what to expect from chemo. I had a doctors appointment and I know they were trying to be helpful but they made me feel like it was wrong for me to be sad. They suggested meds to help. They had me go see my regular doctor to get them. Thankfuly she saw and understood what was going on. She gave me some sleeping pills and was willing to wait and see if I thought I needed something. I was feeling so pumped full of meds that I didn't want to add anymore. I am not saying that people don't need meds sometimes, I just didn't think I needed it. A good night of sleep and prayer did wonders for me. I think it was the next day that i found this site. I still have my moments, but really we have cancer are we not allowed to have them? That is my two cents on sadness and cancer.
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mankatostate, I pray as you lay your head down to sleep tonight you find the peace that passes understanding .the Bible tells us that the Lord gives to his beloved even her sleep.this is your night.
Anita
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KTF - very cute baby. Thanks for sharing such a precious gift. Babies bring such joy to families.
Audra - welcome! Lots of good info you shared. I just had a lumpectomy and will not be having further surgeries. But it is good to share as others will certainly benefit from it. I'm a joyc3 Meyer girl myself, devotionals, and just started listening to Creflow Dollar.
Joanna - sadness is certainly a part of this journey. Just don't ever stay there for very long. That's what our faith and prayer are for to help us get through. Can't have unbelief and doubt, we must be bold and courageous and tell the enemy to step aside and push through it. Of course we are here to help with that too. Early in my dx I was pretty freaked out to the point that I had a period and I hadn't had one for 3 1/2 yrs. then that started a whole other concern so I had to have a biopsy for that and thank God it was fine. Then I knew it was time to calm down!!! I put it at the cross and left it. Like Bev, that's when I had the peace and calm come over me.
Dr. Bev - yes my hair is still coming out a little every day. I was sleeping with a cap but noticed it would come out more so I stopped. A little on my pillow in the morning isn't bad. I also took your advice and don't wash it every day. I will just keep on keeping on. It is thinner on top and you can see my scalp but it still looks pretty ok considering. I am sure it will all fall out I just had a lot of hair. I have plenty of cute hats and scarfs I bought so I will be set when the time comes.
We'll had a good day today. Had my second nuepogon shot this morning. Came home worked out hard for an hour then worked in my home office for a bit had lunch then worked some more till 6:00. Feels good to have a routine and work and be part of my world I have known for 21 years. I will share some photos of what the owners of the company I work for did for me in another post
Ladies...lots of love, prayers and blessings...Lucy
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For this Christmas we had our company attend a dinner cruise and my husband and I couldn't go as I was no comfortable in being in such confined quarters and also not sure of how they cooked the food being as I was still working on low blood counts. Anyway. This is what the owners did for me. The owners are the two guys on the lower left hand one in a brown leather jacket the other standing behind him with silver hair. They also put this on a coffee mug for me. Talk about feeling loved and supported. I am blessed and humbled by their gift. Awesome!!! God is good!!!
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oh, Lucy - thanks so much for sharing that picture and story. What a great kiss from God - so glad you have such good support (and hang in there with the hair!)
Bev
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Joanna, welcome! Everyone is so right about feeling down at times. I'm convinced my pain meds are messing with my head, ha ha. Never had a prescription in my life until I got on this roller coaster ride with cancer and now I'm feeling like I could start sobbing at the drop of a hat. So, not me!
Lucy the picture is great. What a great testimony to what people do for us that lifts our spirits and shows how much God loves us.
GardenGal, I never thought about the hormone thing messing with my head! I've been on hormone blockers for so long that when I went off of them I never really put two and two together. Maybe it's not my pain meds. Maybe it's my hormones making me loopy!
Well ladies, I did survive the tests yesterday, barely. My doc had adjusted my pain meds to take them at a different time before the worst of the tests where I had to lay on the hard table for an hour. I had convinved myself the plan was going to work. On the way back to the scan room, the tech got to walking too fast and I went down hard. Not only fell on that nice hard floor. I fell on top of my cane on the leg that's giving me so much pain.
Well, it was all over for me then and the flood gates opened. No matter what we tried, the pain was there and worse than it had been on Friday. I told the tech he could either do the test and listen to me moan and cry for the next hour or we could call the doctor and get me something to put me out. We opted for the former. I have no idea how I made it that far. I still had several more tests to do after that one, including the dreaded biopsy. I also got my Xgeva shot yesterday and after weeks of slight constipation from the pain meds, I ended up with the big "D" last night in the middle of the night. I had fallen asleep about 7:00, vaguely remember talking on the phone with my best friend but mostly waking up at midnight and on through the night wondering when this was all going to end.
When I read all of the above, I get the feeling that Satan has pulled out all the stops. I begged God to get him to quit picking on me, ha ha. I'm going to lay low today and keep myself packed in ice. I'm sure my fall made things worse. The upside is that my scans will show whether I broke anything in the fall. Pray not!
I pray everyone is surviving this crazy weather everywhere! Let's pray for snowdays for us - how fun!
Blessings all.
Sue
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That is wonderful Lucy! I was really inspired by reading your post ladies Manka, Lucy and Bev. Your encouragement gave me strength this morning thanks for the time to take to share your faith with us.
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Anita-Thanks for the prayers. I had one of the best nights sleep in a while.
Lucy- What a neat place to work! I agree how doing something like that is such an encouragement.
Bev-i am praying for you today! I believe you said today is chemo day.
Sue-praying for you too! What a horrible rough day you had yesterday!
Lovewins- I think one way Satan trys to discourage Christians is to make us feel all alone and as if we are the only one experiencing things. That is why I think it's so important for believes to share their struggles with others...not to act like they are perfect or have the perfect life. Sometimes I think Christians can be afraid to do that because they are worried other Christians will judge them. Satan uses that fear to keep us all quiet and not letting us give each other the support we all need. I am not a very good writer so I am not sure if that made sense. :-p
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Lucy, thanks for sharing the picture and your story. It was very moving! A JM fan as well!
Sue, I am so sorry you are dealing with a fall on top of everything else! Praying that your scans are good and that you can find a way to manage the pain.
Not dealing with snow like a lot of you; I hope you all stay safe and warm this week-end!
Blessings~
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Spiritblessing-
I grew up in Washington, Auburn, and Puyallup...my family is still there and I go every summer to visit in Tri Cities area...where do you live?
Loved your work friends caring and support! That must be great! Wondering your diagnosis, where is the mets and when did they find it? You said your treatment was til JUNe?
Loving the faith and hope on this thread...some days I need encouragement and my hope eludes me...trying to believe and expect great things...
This is very encouraging!
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So true Manka I understood perfectly. And also we all have different strength in our spiritual muscles so although it is humbling at times for me to face my weaknesses I have learned for myself at least to keep it real, for others it might be to fake it til ya make it. God made us all so different and that is part of the beauty of His kingdom.
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I feel that all of you bless me in such unspoken ways.
Lucy: your photo speaks volumes of the people you work with and for in a day and age when to even mention faith, God or prayer I almost a death sentence in itself.
Sue: All I can say is that your reward will be great someday for all you have endured. Your courage and perseverance to go forward with all the pain is so incredible. And hormones do whacky things to our mental state. This I can attest to in my own life. It did things to my emotional state that still cringe at.
I firmly believe that each of you should feel safe in sharing your joys and sorrows and your ups and downs on this thread because all of us profess that our faith is important to us and if you can not share here, then where can you share. Each us us lives in a corrupt body that is not perfect. When I first came to know The Lord in a personal way, I remember people questioning me when I made a mistake. They were just waiting to caught me messing up. I finally found the courage to say that I was no different then them. The difference between them and me was that I knew Christ and that did not mean that I was perfect just forgiven. None of us will experience perfection until that next life. What is most important is for people to see that despite our downfalls and our times of sorrow that we still have hope and that we don't stay down. We shall be victorious through our Heavenly Father.
Praying that each of you find comfort through fellowship on this site. You are not alone even if loved ones are not near by.
Blessings,
Char
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Wow, such wonderful words of inspiration, comfort and peace. You all are blessings from God. Lucy the photo on the dinner cruise shows how very much you are loved.
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Thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement. I got a call from the doctor tonight to tell me that we finally know the source of my leg pain. Apparently one of my scans showed a tumor in the muscle. It's just under 7 cm. Not great news but better than it being in the bone.
I had seen the results of all my other tests and they all looked good. Nothing spreading, nothing new and my lung pleural effusions clearing up. The left lung is now completely healed. The right lung is healing, even without having had any treatments for 6-weeks PTL!
The doctor seems to think that the chemo I start next week will knock out the muscle tumor. She thought it would be about two cycles (6 weeks). She also said that she's seen them clear out in only a few weeks. All I know is I'm thankful that she called so that we know what it is that's causing the pain. What a pain! ha ha.
Mankato, you are so right. Satan likes to isolate us. I for one struggle with reaching out - the very thing I need to do when I'm down in the dumps. So, here I am admitting to my infirmities like so many of the pilgrims of the faith before us. I can't imagine going through any of this without the help of our Divine Healer.
I pray evveryone has had a great day and all of your weekend will be a blessing - snow and crazy weather and all!
Blessings. Sue
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Sue, your doctor sounds wonderful - how nice to call you on a Friday
night so you didn't have to wonder and worry all weekend. Sounds like
you have a good plan - and you're right, there's certainly alot of
positive/good news about what the tests have shown. When I was first
diagnosed in August and then BC awareness month came around in October, I
admitted to lots of folks that all the pink certainly had a different
meaning this year than it had in the past....when I have to say, I
thought some of it was overblown and overdone. Now I'm so thankful for
all the ladies that participated in trials, all the scientists,
researchers and doctors who have worked so hard for so long and for God
giving so many people wisdom to know how best to deal with this terrible
disease (and yes, Sharon, Kathy and other TNBC, we're all praying for
advances for that and other hard cancers, too!) Sue, I'm sure I speak for all
of us - we'll be praying for you and are so glad you've shared what
you're going through. As Audra said, we all are going to have our bad
days - and that sneaky Satan knows just how to reach us when we're
weakest because he has learned what works best for each of us. Kathy and Char, you both said it perfectly, too, in your posts!I had my 7th chemo today - ONE MORE!!!! I was scheduled for 10:00 blood work (counts were just fine - thanks for the prayers!), 10:15 nurse, 10:30 MO and then 2:30 chemo. Chemo seems to run at one speed.....late....so I figured the chances of getting it moved up any were slim to none and I had 3 hours of killing-time-errands planned. Well, my husband suggested at least asking the nurse about moving it up and she checked - she was half surprised that they said to give me a pager and they'd contact me if I could come in sooner because she expected them to say no also. I figured I'd head to my farthest errand and work my way back - wouldn't you know as soon as I got 1/2 hour away and pulled into a parking lot, they paged. Wow, did I fly back there - got in the big chair and all hooked up at noon so I was finished by 3 instead of closing down the place at 6. Happy day in cancer land for me! I'm feeling just fine and planning to take 1/2 the steroid prescription like I did last time - that worked fine so I could sleep at night and didn't have any SE or problems. I told my MO that was my plan and she said that was fine. So far, so good - thank you, God!
Keep warm, all - and have a blessed weekend. As Char said, we're not alone - we're all in this together and where two or three are gathered together in God's name, we know He's there, too!
Bev
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