thread for middle age to older Christian women.
Comments
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Oh oh...Houston we have a problem!!! I am not getting email notifications of postings. Have to do some research on that as it is totally unacceptable...
I did some cleanup on my phone so must have done something wrong.
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Nancy, what a lovely coincidence that we both have friends with an unusual name! Even though my Retha is gone, it never really feels like it because she is still a voice in my head. In addition to everything else I told you about her, she was a feisty, no-nonsense, often brutally honest person. If I sat with her and came anywhere near whining, she was quick with "Oh, get a life." She never let me get away with any kind of self-pity or complaining. She is such a huge part of who I am today.
When we joined our church in 1996, we were in a location that was in the middle of northwest Oklahoma City, where they had been since the church was founded in the '50's, but after expanding to the limits of the property (and with Sunday morning parking filling the neighborhood) they were bursting at the seams. The sanctuary would hold only a few hundred at a time; in fact our Easter service that year was held at the Civic Center because of the space limitations. They had been gifted 77 acres of prime property on the edge of the city and had begun a building fund. This church has always operated debt free, and still does now even with a multi-million dollar budget. The new facility was fully funded before it was finished in the fall of 1999, and we were privileged to be part of it. Our pastor's motto is "Excellence honors God and inspires people." And so it is a beautiful facility. The sanctuary holds 3200 people and is full for 2 services on Sunday morning. In addition, there is a chapel which has a more traditional service and an auditorium that has a more contemporary service. The senior pastor preaches the same sermon for each service but there are different choir/worship teams for each. I don't really know how many members we have, certainly between 7 and 10 thousand. (It was at 750 when we joined.) As you said, the choir is quite large, and we have a full orchestra, all members and volunteers. We have a huge nursery and a three-story educational wing for Wednesday evening classes and Monday evening care groups (for instance, my cousin leads a group for widows). There is a fitness center, a gym, a 2500 sq ft kitchen which serves meals Monday & Wednesday evenings and breakfast on Sunday.
As if that weren't enough, the church has built a Christian school, K-12, which is housed in 3 buildings on the campus.Yes, it is a huge facility, which is the biggest reason I haven't been attending through this time of treatment, since I don't have any energy to get around and am susceptible to infection as well. But I stay in touch by phone and video, and because my cousin makes sure I do. Yes, she is the one who lives with us. What a blessing, not only to us, but to the church. In addition to singing in the choir, she also helps out in the worship ministry and with the flowers and various other things that need to be done. She is amazing.
Well look at me going on and on. You'd think I loved that place or something.
And yes, thank you I am much better today though still weak. Rose went for her grooming today (her spa day I call it) and just taking her in and picking her up has worn me out. But there's nothing else I have to do today, so am resting in the recliner with the laptop.
Blessings to you.
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Day 14: I am to give thanks for all things and so I am giving thanks for my knee. It is in a constant state of swelling and. The inability to bend it and I do my best to do the mind over matter thing to forget the discomfort I feel. I remember how wonderful it was to run, walk, bike, skip, squat without any issues and now it's pretty much gone....or the fact that is such a labor when once it was not. But God continues to make me aware that I need to lean on him. I know that Paul suffered an affliction and he sought God several times in request to take it away but God chose not too. So I know I am in good company.
Day 15: Thank you God for saggy breasts...yep I said it. I told Bev this, but for a long time I hated my breasts because they sagged. I think it was hereditary. I had researched and talked to my hubby about how I wanted to get breast lifts. Not breast implants, but just a lift for my size A cup breasts. But then last July came the news of pre cancerous breast disease, surgery, waiting, more surgery and more waiting. In that time God gave me a new perspective on my breasts. I think he basically told me, "Well if you don't like them, I can take them away from you for good." i am so grateful for my saggy breasts. thank you God for them.
Nancy: I am sorry about how your surgeon treated you but I think I would have left him have a ear full. How dare he treat you the way he did and since when does he have the right to say he has seen worse. I suggest he swallow all this toxic stuff and see how it makes him feel when he takes it. Personally, I would have dismissed him as my doctor. I could say more but I won't. All I can say is what goes around comes around. I will pray for you dear sister.
I was just going to suggest we check death notices even though I feel Sue is at rehab. But you beat me to that one. Thanks for your efforts to find her.
Angie: so glad to see you on here and feeling up to posting. Praying you grow stronger each day.
Lucy: Just hoping you have a nasty cold and no strep. Lots of stuff going around.
Bev: Miss you
How Is the garden. Is it still going on or will they stop it for good? What is the word on your car.Anita: Hope you are feeling better and stronger.
I will be praying for all the David's and Daves.
Char
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Jean I will be adding David to my prayer list for salvation.
Anita what is aromasin? That is a new one to me. Will be praying for strength and stamina.
Nancy so discouraging when docs to that to us. Praying for strength sister. So glad you were able to work on the fountains. Thank you so much for your efforts on trying to locate Sue. God knows her needs and I am praying things are getting better for her and she gets stronger to call or text me. I just tried her home number again and it just rings. I left her another message on her cell. Don't know what else to do but pray.
Day #15 of 50 Days of Gratitude
Today I am so grateful that I don't have strep...YAY \o/ rejoicing for sure. It's just a cold and my throat is so much better and I slept really well last night. It now came with a little bit of a cough which I am not happy about but drinking lots of tea. The doc I saw said to get some herbal tea called Throat Coat and it isn't too bad. Thank you all for the added prayers.
Well just wanted to let you know it's not strep so off to get dinner going, made chicken soup in the crock pot. Have had many crock pot dinners the past week. I love this time of year.
Love you all "Sister Warriors"...more later...Lucy
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Just to let some of you know, aromasin is an aromatase inhibitor, blocks the synthesis of estrogen. My cancer is 100% estrogen receptor positive ( er + ) . The same with progesterone . Therefore this is one of the am -munitions in our arsenal. I will be followed with every 3 month scans to see if it's working.I am hoping for side effects more like menopause, which I already had, and less like chemo, which this is not. Thank you for your interest. While I am starving my cancer, I am getting further and further away from all the bad toxicities. Thank you Lord!
Love across the miles,
Anita
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Lucy, I am not getting any email notifications either so I was surprised at all of the news posts. Must be something with BCO website.
I will write more. I need to read the posts first.
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Well I just lost a very long post and had written to each of you who posted today.
. I don't even know where it went but poof! I think I will try again tomorrow. Sorry. Have a restful night everyone.
Love,
Nancy
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Ahhh...sorry Nancy. Well I checked and it was marked for me to get emails so I don't know what's going on. But if you're not getting any it might be the site.
Good night Warrors...Lucy
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I am grateful today for a new friend. I had Anal Cancer back in 08. Sloan Kettering treated me and I am a survivor. It is a rare cancer but the local cancer center put me in touch with a local lady who just finished treatment. We had lunch together yesterday. It was amazing how quickly we connected and talked for almost 1 1/2 hours. God is good. This is the first time I have ever been able to share "war stories" with a fellow survivor of this rare disease. BTW, The breast cancer I am currently fighting is a totally different type, not a metastasis. Thank you Lord. Love, Jean
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Not posting but still reading. IBS has been horrible but think it's getting under control. My health has just been yukky lately but I'm working to get up and around. I've been getting weak from not eating and laying around. On top of this I reached out to my sister this week, who is very bitter and angry with me only to be slammed and that made me sicker. I've prayed over this a lot for some months while reaching out to her to no avail. However, I feel I can't keep doing this to myself. Satan is very good at these sort of things and he can keep 'em going. She feels she is the stronger Christian, the right person and has the right to say whatever. It has destroyed her daughter and made me so sad. Am I wrong to stop trying?
I've stopped taking the Arimidex. I hope this was the right decision. Sonograms and mammograms this week showed okay and end of the year testing will be done since that is when my anniversary of DX is. My doctor has put in orders for therapy at a lymphedema clinic so I can get that arranged next week.
Praying for everyone and all those that don't know Christ. It's a most important time to bring in the sheep. Love to all and blessings
Polly
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Wow that is great Jean! I often ask my team to let me talk to others on the study trial I am on but they won't. I have given permission if someone asks to talk to someone on the trial to please tell them I am open to talking. I understand the privacy laws but there should be some exceptions or at least some doors able to be open.
I am feeling a little better but now just feel like a cold. I am glad I got this cold this year instead of last year when I was doing chemo. Have to find the silver linings right?
Lucy
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I am grateful for my grandchildren. They are the light of my life.
Nancy - I took Aromisin for a short while and had terrible stomach issues. My doctor recommended taking aloe vera. You can drink it or you can take capsules. It worked much better than any of the Rx or OTC drugs I had been given. And it's cheap. I found one that had only Aloe Vera, no fillers, and it was only $8 for a hundred capsules.
Blessings to everyone!
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oh, Polly - so sorry that you haven't been feeling well and you're not getting family support. Are there others in your family who can be there for you - or friends? I know you said you're looking for a church....what a hard time not to have that resource for fellowship and support. I'll sure be praying for you. As we all know, Satan is so sneaky and clever - he knows just how we are weakest and how best to make us miserable. I was just reading in my favorite The Red Sea Rules book about all the ways Satan can attack which, of course, include troubled relationships and illnesses. The author reminds us that "we always make a mistake when we acknowledge the Lord and keep our eyes on Satan." Another devotional book challenged me to "Gaze on God....glance at problems." Keep your eyes on God, sweet sister. He's right there with you - may you feel His arms around you, giving you comfort and peace.
On to your other comment about arimidex.....does your doctor know you've stopped taking it? I've only been taking it since June 1 and haven't really noticed any problems (except a little achy joints, especially my fingers first thing in the morning). It's so scary to be taking these drugs that can cause so many SE!
Praying for all of us....and our unsaved loved ones. Be of good courage, warriors. God is with us!
Bev
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IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANTLadies, I am saddened to have to share this news. Sue Hahn, which I would imagine is our Sue has passed away. Someone who I don't know sent me some info and said this might be the person you are looking for. She apparently just passed away as the services are Oct. 6 at 7pm. I am a little flustered so I am sorry to not have lots of details. I will see if I can put a link to her online guest book to leave messages. I will do this later today. Let' all pray for her family and I think it would be appropriate to maybe say some words on this post of how we remembered our special Sue.
Love,
Nancy
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Here is the link.
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Oh...Nancy, thankfully you got message about Sue.
If this is indeed the Sue we know, we can rest knowing she's in a better place! No more suffering, pain, and troubles. We can rejoice in that she's HOME! With our Blessed Savior!
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints. Psalm 116:15
Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Blessed indeed,”
says the Spirit, “that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds
follow them!” Revelation 14:130 -
Day #16 of 50 DAYS OF GRATITUDE
I feel like God want's us to continue this no matter what. He knew when He was going to take Sue and He knew we needed to have already been in a state of gratitude. Today I am thankful for knowing Sue in the few short weeks I met her. Of course I didn't really know her at all but I connected with her spirit that lived inside of her. She was the first person to reach out to me in the middle of the night way back at the end of June. She was having a nose bleed and I couldn't sleep and stumbled upon this board. She was sensitive to the needs of others and as you know she could be feisty as well. Her situation with her laptop that had been into the repair shop umpteen times and she finally contacted the TV station and that lit a fire under Best Buy to give her a new laptop. She was such a strong warrior and she certainly gave me inspiration. I will miss her very much. She is not suffering anymore. She is not struggling to breath and she in not in pain anymore. We need to rejoice because she is with Jesus now. God knew her time and it it was now. I think it is a miracle that this unknown person to me sent me a PM today and sent that link that I posted above. God is so amazing.
Before doing this I would certainly like to see an obituary first to be absolutely sure this is our Sue. There is a place to send flowers online and as I went out walking to clear my head and to pray I thought of sending flowers from the girls from Breastcancer.org. I know that she mentioned talking to her mom every night. Her mom lives close to me in another suburb. I imagine she talked to her mom about this board. I only know of her mentioning the one brother also in Illinois. I also am wondering if she knew her time was about up when her mom and brother were going to go see her. 99% of all my search kept coming up that she lived in Aurora,CO. The only thing that bugs me is she said something about either Medicare or Medicaid so I figured she was at least 65. She was probably on disability and I don't understand how that would work with Medicaid. It looks like she was actually only 60 if this is truly her. So your thoughts on this would be appreciated. I am getting ready to look up the population of Aurora.
Love,
Nancy
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Hello ladies,
This kind person (whoever she is) sent another PM to me and sent a link to the church suggesting I contact them to see if this is our Sue. It is too bad that it is the weekend and their church office is closed on Mondays. I emailed the pastor and I am praying that he will see this soon enough before Monday. I gave as many facts about Sue as I could and hopefully he will respond. However I had no idea how big Aurora, Co. is. It is over 350,000 I think. There are 16 Sue Hahns in Colorado to give you an idea. There are two in Aurora, Co. that I know of.
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Hi ladies,
I emailed the pastor of this church in Aurora, Co and in fact this was "our' Sue. He was a little vague but I think she passed the evening of September 23. He was with her when she died. Her mom and brother had been there for a week and had flown back home that morning. I wanted to ask him a million questions but I just asked if Sue realized that her family was there. I did find her mother or at least who I thought was her mother. The pastor named the mom and brother by name so it was her mother. I hope to communicate with her mom eventually. I said that if the family is back for the service could you express to them how much Sue meant to us on the Christian thread of the BCO.
This is quite a "coincidence". The mystery person that sent me several PM's and even found Sue's address (I think) just joined BCO on Sept. 23 and has 0 posts. Obviously it doesn't count PM's. So I want to thank her again for helping us find Sue and the pastor.
I have cried several times today and I know that this is hard for all of us. Sue was a warrior and was a great example of how to live a Godly life in suffering. She was a role model for all of us. I just wish we could all be there at her service but we can certainly be there in spirit.
Love,
Nancy
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Nancy (and Lucy, too) - thank you so much for helping us find out about Sue. We will certainly miss her but rejoice that her suffering is over and she's home with the Lord - waiting to give us all a hug when we see her face to face! What a blessing to have found the friend who helped you connect with the pastor.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He Who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:23-24.
God bless you, my sweet friends. We have a glorious future and indescribable eternity awaiting us. Let's go forward showing more "love and good deeds."
Bev
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Nancy, thank you for all that you've done concerning Sue. And thank you for encouraging us. You are a sweet blessing from God.
Sue was great inspiration for us all. It's truly hard to let her go, and hard not being able to let her know how much she meant to us and how loved and missed she is. God placed her in our lives not only to help us but to show us how to persevere through great pain and suffering. She probably struggled with not being able to reach us. I'm praying for her mom and brother as I'm sure this has been very hard for them.
Thankfully, we all can rejoice that Sue is now in the presence of The Lord. The promise in Psalm 16:11 is even more fulfilled for Sue and it's what we look even more forward to.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11
Death is a horrible thing, but for us in Christ it's beginning of the best of all best!
"To live is Christ to die is gain" Philippians 1:21
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Lucy, I appreciate all you did concerning Sue. I'm praying for you also as you were even closer to her since you both spoke on the phone.
We've all learned how hard it is to lose someone who we've gotten to know here, especially someone who we've seen suffer greatly. It's really hard and can be frightening as we might fear that we may have to suffer before we die.
May God give us all the strength to endure whatever affliction He so chooses so we may continue this life as long as He wills and when the end comes, we'll obtain Christ as our great reward!
Love, Deborah
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Bev, thank you for your comments. I have a wonderful support system but isn't it always the one negative person that stands out the most? I so regret having made it worse as my mind is spinning with some angry thoughts so I ask for forgiveness one minute and think how I'd like to throttle her the next. Only my PCP knows I stopped taking the Arimidex. She finished chemo just as I was diagnosed. She is talking to my MO about it so I'm sure I'll be hearing from him soon! He gave me a choice but recommended taking it. I wish he would have said take it or don't take it. Giving me a choice was not a good idea cause as soon as I started having some SE I quit.
I want to tell all of you how admirable it is to watch a group of women take such charge to find a fellow prayer warrior, regardless of the findings. Amazing strength and what a testimony you show to others. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been reading for awhile so I had seen Sue's postings and knew she must live alone and suffered a lot. I didn't know her state of health or know her personally but she was so blessed to have all of you. And what a joy that she knew Christ during her life here and knows Him in person now!
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Polly, I saw your posts earlier and have been wanting to respond. I'm praying you'll find a church home. You live in an area with lots of wonderful choices! I live in eastern Kentucky where the choices are very limited. I drive 50 minutes to my church but I do lead a Ladies Bible study in my town. I use to live in Denton Texas and I worked as a Pediatric nurse in Dallas on the weekends. I sometimes listened to four sermons a weekend since the sermons were the exact length of my drive. Those sermons were by Tom Nelson from Denton Bible Church. You might want to consider a Bible church since they are common in your region. These churches are nondenominational and the pastors receive their teaching from Dallas Theological Seminary. That's the same seminary Chuck Swindoll and David Jeremiah attended.
Regarding the Arimidex. I've been on it for 10 months and my side effects are almost identical to Bev's. The research has clearly shown there is value in taking this med if you can. I'm sorry you are having the other health problems. Maybe if they improve you can resume the Arimidex. I'm praying for you!
Deborah
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Deborah, I think Sue knew how much we cared about her. I really do feel that in my heart. Thank you for your encouragement to us.
Bev, thank you for your encouraging words as well.
Lucy, I know Sue appreciated you so much. If it wasn't for you reaching out to her we would have never found her.
The lady that sent me several PM's wrote again and told me she had only joined to help out a friend. She herself doesn't have bc. She is obviously a Christian from her last PM. I am still in awe of how God worked through her to answer our prayers.
I am sorry I didn't have a chance to respond to other needs and posts today. And last night when I did write to all of you the post disappeared.
God be with Sue's family in their time of grief and with us in ours.
Love
Nancy
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Well blessings to all you valiant fellow warriors. Today I am so grateful for a restful rainy Saturday here in the beautiful Hudson Valley. I am so grateful for my wonderful Celebrate Recovery group that my dear Jesus gave me strength to attend last night. Also for my brother in law Howard who is visiting from Colorado and who attended a local temple last night for the Yom Kippur service. Please keep him in prayer. He is searching. Love, Jean
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Lucy, I appreciate all you did in reaching out and connecting with Sue. God knew that it was an important timing for you to reach out to her so that we could stay connected to her and find her during this time. He is an almighty God. I am praying for you also since you were talking with her and keeping up us updated as I know as you were close to her since you both spoke on the phone.
Nancy thank you also for your diligence in finding our Sister prayer warrior and updating us. It is hard to lose someone I have gotten to know even if it was a short time God has allowed are oaths to cross. In that short time that I was able to virtually know Sue she was an inspiration an awesome prayer and loved her support and wittiness.
Deboraanne thanks for your encouraging words as we get through this time. I have shed a lot of tears and have realized yet again how much each of you mean to me, the support that you give and the awesome spiritual bond that we have.
Love each of you and pray for you daily. My thoughts and prayers are with Sue's family and friends
Your Sister in Christ,
Angie
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DAY #17 OF 50 DAYS OF GRATITUDE
I thank God for how he directs our steps. I took quite a while today going back at the events leading up to Sue's passing and reading posts and looking at dates. Ladies, God is among us and we are powerful witnesses to countless others who only read this thread and never post. I hope our warrior spirits can move forward even in the midst of loss and pain. I heard from this lady who has been private messaging me. She found Sues' Dad's obituary and she had another brother in Aurora, Co. She actually lived in Denver. I have rethought the idea of sending flowers. At the time I made that decision I didn't know that Sue had another brother in the area. I thought of something that might be more meaningful to the family after finding out where her mother lives. On Monday they are having a Celebration of Life Service for Sue. She was probably cremated. When I was talking about buying my tombstone she had said she wanted to be cremated and have her ashes spread over the Garden of the Gods (I think that was the place). I will have to take time to look back. Anyway here is my idea and tell me what you think of this. If we could post on Monday the day of her service our thoughts about Sue as if we were actually there talking about her at her service. I could compile all of your posts and print them up and send them to her mother. I think that would mean more than flowers. Her brother and mother are probably flying in from Illinois and flying back. They are not going to be taking home a planter or flowers on the plane. I would like to meet her mom but I am not sure of her physical condition since she is my mom's age of 88. Let me know what you think.
Love,
Nancy
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Mini, thanks for the tip with Aloe Vera. I am on night #3 tonight of taking Arimidex in the evening vs. morning. So far it seems to be working. I am not completely symptom free but there is much improvement. I have also found avoiding certain things in my diet has helped as well.
Polly, I am sorry to hear about your sister. I am glad to hear you have a good support system in place. May I ask about your Arimidex decision? I see you have an Oncotype score of 6 which is really low. Mine is 16 and considered low risk. Did that come into play on your decision. I have been having issues with it for six weeks but I do think things overall are improving. I have started taking it at night. A lady on another thread suggested to me to try it at night. She was falling asleep taking it in the morning and that worked for her. Mine has been mainly GI issues and some bad headaches. My pcp didn't even want to entertain the thought of me stopping it or even changing it but he admitted when I saw him the first time for all the GI issues that he didn't know much about the drug. I guess it is quite normal to switch to other AI's. They all have different side effects and everyone responds differently. I hope you can find a good church home.
Jean, I am glad you felt like going to your support group. We can certainly add Howard to all the Davids and Dave in our salvation prayers. I have a good email from who lives in Syracuse. She always says we are getting your weather that you passed along to us. It is very cold and rainy here. In fact we might even get a hard freeze tonight. YIKES I haven't taken down my other fountain yet. I better get to that before tonight.
Angie, Glad to hear from you. I think God definitely ordered all of our steps the last couple weeks. I remember one of the first things Sue said to me when she found out that I was from Illinois and she went to church a few blocks from my house before moving to CO. was that it was a Divine appointment she called it. She had no idea. We had quite a bit in common. Her birthday was a week before mine. Little did we know that it would be her last. There is part of my spirit that thinks she knew.
Lucy, I am especially praying for you as I know you are probably really taking this hard.
Mags, I will have to write more about our churches and our Rethas. The post that went poof I talked about the similarities in both things. Hope you are getting stronger before your next chemo.
Anita, Becky, Debbie prayers are with you as well.
Bev, I hope you are getting the car stuff all taken care of. Someone rear ended me a few years ago and totaled my car. It does upset your life for sure dealing with insurance issues and car rentals and all of that stuff. Hope you are able to stay positive in the midst of it all.
Char, I can't imagine running in this cold weather but I pray for your training for this next race. BURRRRRRRRRRRR. Makes me cold to even think of being outside in this weather running. You go girl!
Deborah, I hope you are having a wonderful weekend.
Sharon, I hope you are hanging in there with your subbing job and the house situation.
I am praying for all of you. I don't trust my memory. If I left someone out I didn't mean to.
Love
Nancy
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I've been having a bit of a pity party tonight. Been feeling good the last few days and have my next A/C on Monday. Hate the idea of being sick again next week. Boohoo! Wahh! Please pray for our dear Jesus to change my rotten attitude. Thanks. Love, Jean
PS Glad you ladies found out about your buddy Sue. Glad she is home.
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