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thread for middle age to older Christian women.

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Comments

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited August 2011

    Jo - I read somewhere that post-menopausal women, during the initial three years of menopause, tend to have higher alkaline phosphatase levels than pre-menopausal women.  I haven't been able to find any of the levels listed however.  I'm hoping that's it and not something sinister.  I'm really scared.  If you happen upon your labwork, would you mind looking at your ALP (alkaline phosphatase) levels in your comprehensive metabolic panel?

     I've had four surgeries in a year and a half as well as the tachycardia episodes where I almost faint (they happen whenever and wherever with no warning).  They were happening every couple of days.  I am taking a new medication, Sectral, for the arrhythmia and so far it hasn't given me any major side effects and it seems to be controlling my heart rate for the most part.  I'm thankful for that as I don't think I can handle any more procedures at this point (i.e. cardiac ablation).

    My mom has moved into assisted living, but I still take her out and visit with her on my days off (twice a week).  I work my 30 hr per week job (10 hour days) and handle all of her medical appointments as well as her finances, etc.  I am so worn out and stressed out lately.  I just dread another bone scan, but if it will provide peace of mind, I'm willing to endure it.  It's not the scan that freaks me out, it's the waiting.  The last time I had one, my onc emailed me with the results, and I just melted into a puddle of tears, intensely relieved, sobbing so hard I could barely speak.  My emotional and physical reserves are wiped out.  The Lord is my refuge, whom shall I fear?  I need to drink in His word and remember the cross.  Life is hard!

    Thank you so much for your comfort and prayers.  They indeed nourish my soul!

  • Grimbol
    Grimbol Member Posts: 139
    edited August 2011

    I will be in prayer for you for sure.  Sorry this is such a tough time for you guys. Remember He is in control and cares so much for each of us.  I have needed reminding of this a few times this week.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited August 2011

    Thanks Jo for the information.  My level was checked by two different labs.  See the information below:

    4/13/10 - ALP 107 U/L - range 50-136 U/L; Ca - 9.4 mg/dl - range 8.5-10.1 mg/dl

    4/14/10 - ALP 83 U/L - range 38-126 U/L; Ca - 9.8 mg/dl - range 8.4-10.5 mg/dl

    2/14/11 - Bone Scan normal

    4/29/11 - ALP 152 U/L - range 50-136 U/L; Ca - 10.1 mg/dl - range 8.5-10.1 mg/dl

    8/17/11 - ALP 145 U/L - range 38-126 U/L; Ca - 10.1 mg/dl - range 8.4-10.2 mg/dl

    I'm taking some comfort in the fact that I had a normal bone scan in February 2011 which did show some changes in my mid-lower spine, but they didn't think it was cancer.  Only two months later did my ALP show an increase, so I'm hoping that the bone scan would have recognized it if it was cancer.  The other issue is that while I was at work a couple of weeks ago, I was walking to a coworker's office and all of a sudden it felt like a lightening bolt hit my spine in that area where the changes showed up on the bone scan.  The initial sharp pain was brief (like a nerve had been pinched) and then intense muscle spasms hit.  I was in so much pain I could barey walk back to my office and needed help to do so.  My husband came and drove me immediately to Urgent Care.  They gave me a shot of Toradol and muscle relaxers.  They took x-rays of my spine and didn't see anything out of the ordinary.  The muscle relaxers worked and I went back to PT for help with exercises to work on my mild scoliosis.  The fear with the unknown in these situations is incredible.  I struggle a lot with fear.  I'm not patient with test results.  I dislike any tests as I'm always scared they will find something.  Thank you for your encouragement.  God uses you and others to minister to me and you have helped me to calm down quite a bit.  Thanks so much for being there and a willing instrument of God's grace.  You continue to bless me. 

  • pejkug3
    pejkug3 Member Posts: 277
    edited August 2011

    Prayers for you, Rocket.  <hug>

  • 3bells
    3bells Member Posts: 77
    edited August 2011

    Rocket, when it seems I have no strength to hang onto trust and fear is overwhelming and meltdowns happen, I remember the scriptures that He will not break a bent reed or put out a smoldering ember. And that he knows we are dust. I also remember that even Jesus suffered the agony in the garden.

    For so long I was afraid God disapproved when I "failed." We get our view of God from our relationships as children and it takes him our lifetime to teach us that he is so different than the world or even what some Christians teach. It's so good to know that his love doesn't depend on my faith strength or lack of it. In fact when I am strong in faith, that is to his credit not mine.

    I know that he sees your honesty and "realness" and rejoices. And it helps others along the way to know that we can be hanging onto faith with weak hands and still God loves us and is faithful. I remember one time when I had a picture in my mind that I was holding onto God's hand and he was leading me through neck deep quicksand. He spoke into my mind gently: "You are not holding onto me, I am holding onto you."

    I'm "talking too much." Just want you to know that I care so much and believe the Spirit is giving me a burden for you. I pray for you several times each day. Many times when I cry out to him for strength and mercy, I find myself crying out for you also.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited August 2011

    Thank you Ladies for the love and encouragement and more importantly the prayers.  I'm sick with fear and I know that He lifts me up in my weakness.  The cross is a constant reminder of His love.  I'm so tired of the emotional ups and downs though.  I'm worn out emotionally, physically and sometimes spiritually.  I know that His love does not depend on my circumstance.  I want to be here a while longer to experience bieng a grandmother and to grow old with my husband.  I know that He knows all of this.  Please continue to lift me in prayer.  I need to feel His presence.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited August 2011

    Amen 3 bells.  That is so very true!

    I do take Xanax for anxiety, but if I take it and try to work I'll be asleep on my desk.  Work keeps my mind busy and off the dark places where it tends to wander.  Thank you all for your prayers.  The bone scan is scheduled for Wednesday at 8:00 am.  Praying that I have the results before the weekend.

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 4,503
    edited August 2011

    3bells and Rocket I will be praying for you ladies.

    My family is all coming in this weekend and will be great fun with the kids and gkids.  After that I will get together with my pastor to go over what we are going to do with the Women's ministry.  We are having a guest speaker on Sept 17th titled "Christ is Life"  I am very excited about it.  There is a six week follow up on it so DH is leading the men and I will lead the women and hopefully that will start off our women's ministry in our church. I am trying to listen to what God wants out of this ministry and I just ask for you ladies to pray for it as well.

    edited to say:  I just realized I made a post that was not bc related, I must be moving on a little.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited August 2011

    I got the bone scan results and lab results.  IT'S NOT CANCER!  I am praising God for His mercy to me and for all of you.  You have so ministered to my weary spirit!  My relief is overwhelming.  I am always reminded that the proof of His love is the cross!

    Praying for you too 3bells.

    Thank you again ladies for loving me as Jesus would!

  • pejkug3
    pejkug3 Member Posts: 277
    edited August 2011

    Oh, ROcket!!  Such great news!

  • Grimbol
    Grimbol Member Posts: 139
    edited August 2011

    Thank you for sharing such wonderful news Rocket.

  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 336
    edited August 2011

    Great news Rocket.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited August 2011

    We've had some damage to our roof from Irene. Several shingles are gone and we had some small roof leaks. Power has been out since this morning. We lost our small apple tree and mailbox as well as a small storage shed. This storm is serious with wind damage and lots of rain. Lord please protect all in Irene's path.

  • 3bells
    3bells Member Posts: 77
    edited August 2011

    Rocket, I checked in online for the first time since Monday's treatment and was overjoyed at your good news! I'm hoping the worst of Irene has passed you. My brother lives near Philidelphia so I'm praying for him as well.

    My daughter left yesterday. The doctor advised me to take prilosec (generic) since the nausea lasted so long last time she thought it might be masked reflux. Nausea hasn't been as bad but I'm pretty wiped out. Fighting depression, which has been a battle all my life and is best fought with reminding myself of the Joy of the Lord. Antidepressents have never worked for me.

    Hasn't been easy to read scriptures but am reading slowly in the psalms. I will yet praise him! 

    I was late getting your good news, Rocket, but it was a lift to my spirit. He is the God of all mercy.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited August 2011

    3bells - praying right now for you.  I love Isaiah 61:3, "Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." (paraphrased).  I do know how difficult it is to do and will pray that the Lord will give you His grace to do so.

    My oncologist called me to tell me that I need an x-ray this week of my right femur.  They don't think it's cancer, but slightly more uptake showed on my bone scan so they want to be certain.  UGH!  I'm so sick of tests!  My right leg doesn't even hurt!

    Hang in there dear Sister.  May the Lord be your portion and strength.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited August 2011

    Thanks Jo.  I take Arimidex.  They haven't scheduled the x-ray yet.  I'm just praying it's nothing.

    I have enough to deal with right now.  We have a damaged roof from Irene and another strong thunderstorm approaching us with hail and high winds predicted.  We just got our power back this morning, and I was so relieved to have air conditioning again.  It was near 90 degrees today and very humid.  I just got my refrigerator restocked.  Our power had been out for over 40 hours. 

    The university where I work was closed today.  A coworker had a huge tree fall on her house.  Her poor husband has been out of work for over a year, and they are just barely making ends meet.  She is a dear sister in the Lord.

    I pray that all the others who may still be dealing with Irene are safe.

  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 336
    edited August 2011

    Hi ladies Irene recked havek on us to .  We had to large trees fall in our yard and shift the tree would have hit the house.  I know someone was watching us up stairs.  I hope everyone else is ok. 

  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 336
    edited August 2011

    Thanks ladies I start my test radiation tomorrow and have my first one on Sept 1.  I will let you know how it goes.  It better be nice and smooth.

  • 3bells
    3bells Member Posts: 77
    edited August 2011

    Rocket, I just checked in here again. The prilosec my Oncologist recommended only caused more nausea and now eating small meals doesn't help like it did. The nausea before ended near the end of the second week so I had a week without it before the next treatment. I sure hope my digestive system starts handling food better again.

    It's difficult to focus on reading long. I wish I could find the scripture verses I have on tape. The praise verses in psalms are helping. When I can focus on the wonder of God, I  long to see him honored and acknowledged by the whole world. It will happen in his time. Won't it be an awesome thing to see our Lord step forward and take his throne over all...and every knee bow and every tongue confess that he is Lord!

    It seems like this third course is taking forever. Just starting the second week and it feels like a month. Next week I see the doctor and have the tests to see if the AC is working. Am praying that our Captain of hosts is attacking and destroying this cancer, but also that his will is done.

    I guess it's good that the doctors want to be careful, but it will be such a relief when you reach the place where the only time you need to see one is for yearly physicals.

    I have been praying especially for the sick and elderly in those areas that have no air. The one day I was without air here was miserable and there seem to be sections of the country where no rescuers have even reached yet. May God protect them and help them through, You wrote a couple of days ago. Praying the new storm didn't cause more havoc!

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited September 2011

    Our insurance adjuster came today and gave us a check for our damages.  Many folks are still without power and they are saying it may be another week before they get power back.  I pray that God will strengthen them and give them aid in their distress.  Lynniea, I was relieved to hear that you were unharmed.  I will be praying that rads goes well. 

    Hang in there 3bells!  You can do this!  I know it's very difficult not to be discouraged.  I pray that God is your portion and strength.

    I'll be off the internet for a few days as we are going away for the long weekend.  We are finally taking a trip to the mountains of NC and I'm really looking forward to the cooler temps.  Our son and his wife (pregnant with our first grandchild) are going with us.  We are so excited.  I really need this break.

    The onc hasn't scheduled my x-ray yet, so they must not be too concerned.  I'm trying not to worry about it.  I just want to put cancer out of my mind for a few days and enjoy life and God's creation.

    Take care all, and I'll catch up with you when I return.  I will continue to pray for you.

  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 336
    edited September 2011

    Thanks Rocket It will be 1 down and 29 to go

  • 3bells
    3bells Member Posts: 77
    edited September 2011

    Calling for prayer for wisdom and Doctor's favor!



    I am seeing my breast surgeon on Wednesday so she can see if she thinks there is any progress after three AC treatments. My plans are to tell her I want a second opinion. The University of Michigan hospital is a few hours away - the closest large center.



    After researching (can't believe I waited so long) invasive lobular bc, I know that chemo often doesn't work, and a lot of other things that tell me I need a place where they see more of this type of cancer. They will also maybe have a better idea if I might also have inflammatory BC. The center where I am going is growing and for the common invasive ductal cancer would be good, but it's not large enough to have seen many of the less common cancers. I suspect from things my doctor has said that she is not that familiar with it. She is a great doctor and goes all out for her patients but I wish I had asked these questions before.



    So what I am asking is for prayer that she will work with doctors at the U of M, that I can be seen there quickly, and that they will be given wisdom (which I also need.)



    My scripture right now is "trust in the Lord with all Your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths." Fighting natural anxiety and trying to hold onto the scriptures. Taking xanax and hoping it doesn't show a lack of trust. Of course if I were walking in complete faith there would be no anxiety. God is still working on that. :-(



    I'm going to post this on one of the chemo groups I occasionally post in. Hopefully there are some there who also pray.



    Thank you for praying at least for the next week or so.



    In his love,

    Peggy

  • Grimbol
    Grimbol Member Posts: 139
    edited September 2011

    Peggy, I will be praying for you.  I think sometimes we don't know the questions we should be asking.  There's so much I don't know about all of this, but reading often justs scares me so I stop.  I hope you have someone who can share this with you and help with the questions and decisions you have to make.  I have a friend over in ME who is my research buddy.

    with love and much prayer, Margaret

  • zumbagirl
    zumbagirl Member Posts: 250
    edited September 2011

    Hi ladies,

    I am glad I found this thread. I am 45, have a wonderful husband of 24 years, two mostly wonderful teens :O) a son 16 and a daughter 18. I have been saved since I was 10, but as life goes there are seasons of serving the Lord mightily, and seasons of dry  times where you aren't experiencing the fullness of Christ. Right before I got DX with BC, I was attending church, but my walk was dry. Getting BC has really brought me back to a close and meaningful walk with the Lord. I try and use this as a testimony to glorify God with everyone I share with. His scripture has been a comfort, through every surgery, and chemo. I have had a few melt downs during this rough journey, but He has been there to comfort me and hold me up. I am so thankful, for other women to share with on here. thank you for this and many other wonderful threads. We will all through His strength power through this journey stronger women of faith. Isaiah 58:8 Then your light shall break forth like the morning . Your healing shall spring forth speedily Smile

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 4,503
    edited September 2011

    Peggy I pray that the Onco will be supportive of you getting a 2nd opinion.  I ended up getting a 2nd opinion and felt so much better and ended up switching MO's in the end.

    Zumba girl we seem to keep handing out in the same places.  Love it.

    Went to the movies last night and saw "Seven Days in Utopia".  It is a must see movie.  For those who have not heard about it, it is a Chrisitan movie about a golfer.  Don't want to say more but if you have any friends who are searching this would be a great movie to invite them to.

  • 3bells
    3bells Member Posts: 77
    edited September 2011

    Grimbol, thank you so much. I have had to make myself read and thankfully finally did because I had no idea that lobular cancer was uncommon. If it provokes too much anxiety, I take a break and try read some scripture to keep a balance. Can you tell me what “ME” is? Is it a topic?



    Zumbagirl. You are so right. My first BC was a wake up call and this time God is drawing me closer. After twelve years cancer free I needed another wake up call. I thank God for every difficulty in my life because if I hadn't had a lot of them from childhood on, I would never have realized my need for the Lord and turned to him. And every hard time has been a learning time – I did and do have a lot to learn! I love the scripture you mention in Isaiah 58. In the end, no matter where he leads, we win!



    Sherry, thank you for your prayer. I mentioned a second opinion before I started the chemo and plan they set out for me and my doctor was very receptive. I'm not sure if it will be more difficult to do this in mid stream, but am determined. I know the surgeon will be supportive. Don't know my Onc as well but she seems to listen and answer questions so hopefully that's a good sign.

    Thanks for the movie recommendation. I'm on the search for inspiring uplifting movies for those times when I am too fatigued to do much else.

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 910
    edited September 2011

    Father, please help Peggy right now.  Grant her Your wisdom and grace.  Please give all of her doctors a willingness to consider other opinions.  Give the doctors both skill and wisdom as they do their best to determine the correct course of action.  Father I pray for healing for Peggy's body and mind that she would feel Your comforting presence throughout this week as decisions are made. Lord I pray in the name of Your Son Jesus, the Sovereign of the Universe and The Great Physician.  Amen.

  • Grimbol
    Grimbol Member Posts: 139
    edited September 2011

    oops no ME is Manie, where my friend lives, :)  she just helps me with research when I don't want to know.

  • Kaara
    Kaara Member Posts: 2,101
    edited September 2011

    IllinoisLady:  This is the first time I've heard the phrase "Gnostic Christian", but I guess I would qualify as being one, since my beliefs correspond with what you have written.  I always just told people that I was spritual rather than religious.  

    I'm 71 years old, retired, and between me and my significant other, we have seven children, 9 grandchildren, and one great grandchild.  Most of them live in Florida, and one in Colorado.  We spend summers in the mountains of North Carolina and winters in Florida in the Ft. Lauderdale area.

    I've always been blessed with good health, and have taken excellent care of myself, no smoking, drinking, late nights, kept my weight in control, etc.  I will admit that I've taken HRT since my hysterectomy 20 years ago, and birth control pills before that, but I dropped my dosage to the lowest level when the bad news came out.  I've since gone on bioidenticals and I've been feeling better than ever with loads of energy.  Imagine my surprise when my routine mammogram screening raised a suspicion this year.  I have dense breast tissue and have been called back before, but it was always resolved with the second mammogram.  This time the radiologist wanted an US, and when that wasn't conclusive, he wanted me to have an MRI, saying that there was definitely a change in my left breast from last year.  He sent the report to my PCP and she called the next day to schedule an appointment on Wednesday to review my results and do what she called a "plan". 

    I'm concerned but not panicked at this point, and finding this forum has given me more comfort than I could have imagined.  There are so many supportive wonderful people posting...I can only feel it was God's blessing that led me here.  I have used this time to educate myself about BC and the options for treatment.  If I am fortunate enough to have this be a false alarm, I am a better person for having learned of this site, and can perhaps help others who have a need.

     I can't help but think of my poor friend who died of lung cancer this past summer.  She felt so alone, made so many poor decisions regarding her treatment, because she had no one to counsel with.  I felt pretty helpless when I was trying to advise her, because she was in denial about her disease, and the poor prognosis

    I feel I'm doing everything I can at this point and will just take it a day at a time.  One thing I will not do, and that is put off our vacation that is coming up on the 14th of September.  We're going forward, and any treatment can wait until we return.  

    All the best to everyone posting here...thanks for letting me ramble on! 

  • zumbagirl
    zumbagirl Member Posts: 250
    edited September 2011

    welcome Kaara,

    I hope you recieve good news. We are glad you found this thread. It is full of wonderful caring ladies, who have lots of wisdom to share at different levels that we are all at, and loads of prayers and comfort. It is a peaceful place to come to and I have been very blessed on here :O)

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