thread for middle age to older Christian women.
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Hi Leapfrog
I too am a Christian. I was baptised 4 years ago. I was diagnosed with BC April this year.I too am HER2 positive and I had my first treatment last week. Im doing good and I feel Jesus holding my hand. He has been with me all the way.
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I am one of the older ladies, but don't realize it yet! Anyway I do love the lord very much. People will say to me ,"you are so strong, I don't know how you have gone through this cancer thing." Well it is only because of God that I have been able to go through it thus far. When I tell them this,they just look at me.Even people I have much in common with ,Christians. I do know He has given me the much emotional & physical strength I have needed. I have a dear friend at church who told me she has not had a mamogram for 4 years and her Mother has never had one. I asked her to get one but she just looked at me. I guess my situation has frightened her because my dr told me the yearly mam. saved my life.Ignorence is not bliss that is for sure.
Alberta
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Hi Ladies,
It's great to see new members on this thread. Welcome Peggy!
Well I decided to take charge this past week. I was in a fit of tears last weekend because my job is extremely stressful right now. I'm working a lot of extra hours because of the workload demand . I pulled a lower back muscle and was in excrutiating pain - so much that I could barely move. I called my doctor and got his answering service because it was the weekend and he prescribed muscle relaxers. To top it off, I'm having surgery on Monday July 18th to remove some breast tissue that the previous surgeon missed. No they don't suspect any cancer thankfully! I am also struggling with trigger finger in my thumb again from taking Arimidex. It's very painful and I will see an orhtopedic surgeon on Thursday next week to get another shot of cortisone to relieve the pain. And lastly, my heart has been acting up. I saw another cardiologist for a second opinion and he recommends the ablation procedure of which I'm really scared. For now he has prescribed a calcium channel blocker. I took one pill and was so weak I could barely make it around a small grocery store. So, I stopped taking it. I will take it as directed on the day of surgery so that my heart arrythmia doesn't act up while I'm under the knife, but after that I need a new solution to this problem.
Well with all this going on, I decided that I needed to have a good long chat with the Lord about everything. I surrendered to His will and felt His leading to take direct action. So after this surgery and the finger appointment, I'm going to a cardiologist to get this heart thing under control. My life and health are in the Sovereign Lord's hands. I have also decided to take this approach at my job. I will work as hard as I can, but at the end of the day I'm going to try and leave work at the stoplight as they say. I want a life where there is no stress, or medical problems, but for now God has me here and some day I will go to that place where I will sit at His feet and worship Him face to face. There will be no crying or pain, no want or hunger. God is good and I choose to praise Him.
Thank you all for your encouragement and Godly Christian attitudes. It really does build up the body of Christ. Please keep me in your prayers that my surgery will go well without incident. Please pray for grace for me to accept whatever challenge His sovereign hand puts into my path. Nothing that touches me has not touched Him first. Thank you Sisters! You are such a blessing to my life.
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Finished first chemo on Monday. Lots of nausea right after and they gave me a saline drip and steroid when I went in for my neulasta shot. Not as bad the next day but Wednesday evening nausea started again. My daugher called the center Thursday morning, the first I could get a different anti nausea med. It helped some but it was so hard to see her leave on Thursday. She and her husband pastor a small church and she really is needed there. I tried not to cry but didn't succeed well. Hard for her too. We remind each other that serving the Lord isn't always easy.
Today was not as bad but I am fighting fear about the next treatment which will be worse. It seems so hard to read anything, even scripture. Trying just to talk with the Lord. Got a little devotional book today for women with BC and am hoping I will be able to read some next week before treatment two. My middle daughter spent several hours here today so my husband could run some errands. God has blessed me in so many ways. I wish I could honor him more by resting in his peace.
Would appreciate your prayer.
Peggy
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Thank you for the encouragement, Jo. The verse from Timothy has been a favorite of mine for years.
The verse God, almost miraculously gave me, especially since I don't memorize anymore without difficulty, and this one stuck almost instantaneously, was Isaiah 40:10 (I think that's the right place). It also has to do with fear. Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my rightous right arm.
So long as I can hold onto his word and keep my eyes on Jesus, there is alot of peace. The times when anxiety seems to edge in, I remember that even Jesus had his agony in the garden. He endured the cross for the joy set before him. I also remind myself that David once cried, "When I am afraid, I will trust in you."
So even when the nausea comes back, though it may crowd out peace for a little while, he will always lift my head. I would like very much to be so strong that his Word is filling my mind always. But thank God for the assurances that he is carrying me through even when I am not aware of it.
The nausea is better. It is mostly a severe bodily weakness I'm dealing with now. I will do my best to remember your words, "You will get there, too." Just need to take it a step at a time and he'll have me at the other side!"
Thanks for listening. There are other topics where people are sharing what they are going through and I know this one is not for that. But, if you all don't mind, I would rather post here where I know women of faith will share their persective.
God bless you, and all of you.
Peggy
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Rocket, right now (can't sleep at 4 a. m.) is a good time to hold you up in prayer. I know that He will be with you, guiding the hand of your surgeon and all in the surgery room. I pray that even those who don't know him will sense some of the presence of the Holy Spirit in that room and be touched by him.
What a blessing that the Lord is giving you direction and you are taking control in his stength. And I thank him for the wisdom he is giving you and ask him to increase it with even more.
A couple of days ago, when I picked up a little devotional book, The verse for the day was the one where we are assured that when we come out of this, our faith will be refined and strengthened as gold. (paraphrase). It seemed for all of us, not just me. I see him working it out in you.
I pray he continues to fill your heart with his peace,
Peggy
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Hi Peggy,
I'm lifiting you up even now that your next chemo will be easier than the first. My third was actually easiter than the first two. Everyone experiences it differently. You are a brave soldier. My favorite verse is Isaiah 41:10. I have quoted it to myself so many times in various trials, including my breast cancer journey. Jo is indeed correct that you will get through this and look back on it and see the way that God has worked in your life. A young pastor asked me shortly after my chemo treatments had ended if I saw cancer as a gift. I smartly replied, "Yes one I'd like to exchange!" Good grief - have a heart man!
I am now a year and a half past my diagnosis and just one year from radiation treatments. My hair has grown back - albeit very different than it was, but hey it's hair. I also have a very strong appreciation for those who suffer deeply. Breast cancer was also the loneliest time in my life where I clung to the cross pleading with the Lord to spare my life. I read every verse that I could possibly find on suffering and peace. I read a lot in the Psalms. When someone would send a card with a Bible verse it always amazed me how that particular verse would just speak to me in my deepest need that day. Obviously it was from the Sovereign's hand.Please continue to pray for me tomorrow as my surgery is early morning. I need to report to the surgery center at 7:30 am EST. As soon as I'm able I will get online and let you know how I'm doing. I am not really afraid because they don't suspect cancer this time - thank you Lord! I just don't do well with anesthesia.
I will continue to lift you to the Lord. Continue to trust Him. Where His finger points, His hand provides.
Blessings always,
Rocky
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Hi Girls,
My surgery went well yesterday. I have a little bit of pain, but nothing that Advil won't cure. I managed through the anesthesia yesteray pretty well. I was only under if for about an hour and a half, so I recovered more quickly. I'm working from home today and tomorrow and plan to return to work on Thursday. Next I have to get my thumb taken care of and the heart problem under control. I'm still taking direct action for the medical issues as I feel that is the Lord's leading. I need to be aggressive about my medical problems and either get rid of them or find a better way of tolerating them. I don't want to sit like a bump on a log whining about these issues. I have a life to live and the Lord wants me to get on with it. Lymphedema is another one of those struggles that affects my daily life. It's tough and there is no cure, but it is manageable. My first grandchild will be born in January and I need to get my body healed up from all this stuff so that I can help to take care of the baby a couple of days each week when my DIL works. I can hardly wait.
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Rocket, I'm so glad your surgery went well, especially getting through the anesthesia. I know that can be rough.
Someone suggested to me that being on an antibiotic could have contributed to the my first two days of nausea. So we are hoping this time I will only have the second phase to deal with - a few days into it.
Thank you so much for letting me know your third chemo was easier. It's something to hope for since I heard only that it gets worse each time.
I can't believe I forgot that we bought a scooter this spring so I could "walk with my husband and dog. Walking ability is limited. Now that I remembered, we'll bring it into the house and I will be able to do more. Just walking from one side of the house to the other takes major effor. I can sit on the scooter and clean my bathroom sink and other things I am itching to do. Now do you think the Lord had his hand in that coincidence. ;-)
Congratulations on the grandchild. Each one is so precious! It will be wonderful that they are so close to you.
Peggy
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Hey Gals,
I'm a complete mess! I was back to work two days after surgery and feeling pretty well, but my LE flared up in my chest and I have been having a really rough time getting it under control despite MLD and compression 24 hrs. a day. I'm going to see my PT tomorrow. I was at work today and had a severe muscle spasm attack while walking. I was in so much pain I could barely move. My coworkers had to call my husband and he took me to urgent care. They gave me an injection of Toradol and it helped to ease the pain. I also have some wonderful muscle relaxers that I will take before bed. I am not sure what the Lord is trying to tell me, but He certainly has my attention. I have been moving forward on getting my health issues under control as I felt He was directing, but I am ridiculously frustrated that just as I get one area taken care of, another crops up. Please keep me in prayer as you feel led. I really need help right now. This is my third muscle spasm attack in three weeks. I go for PT evaluation and treatment tomorrow. My LE therapist is a PT, so hopefully she can help with the muscle spasm problem too. Friday I will go to PT again for the LE and I have an appointment with an orthopedic doctor to help with the Trigger finger in my thumb. After I get that taken care of I will deal with my heart issue. Gracious, I'll be an old lady before I get healthy again!
Peggy, how are you doing? I know that chemo is really tough, but you and God together are tougher! Hang in there! I'm praying for you.
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Rocket, I am so sorry this is happening just when it seemed you were doing better.
I pray right now that disappointment and discouragment will not batter you and instead God's comfort and peace will beat them off. I thank you Jesus for the pain meds and muscle relaxer and ask that you make them effective and that Rocket, your beloved child, is able to sleep tonight. I pray that that your Holy Spirit will be giving wisdom and skill to the physical therapist she will be seeing, We don't understand so many things, my precious Savior, but we know by your grace that you love each of us more deeply than we can imagine, and you are with Rocket right now and caring and carrying her in your strength.
Rocket, I changed the duration between my treatments to three weeks instead of two, with the doctors OK. So I will be able to lift you up in the next few days anyhow.
In his overwhelming Love,
Peggy0 -
Home from my surgery a little sore sometimes it grabs me don't know if it is the collection tube that pulls.
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Nice to her you are home, Lynniea. Hope the soreness goes away soon.
Peggy0 -
Hey Ladies,
Thank you so much for your encouraging prayers. I praise the Lord for your kindness to me. I saw the orthopedic surgeon today about my trigger thumb and he has scheduled me for surgery on August 2nd. I go to the SurgiCenter in the town adjacent to where I live and this will be my fifth surgery there. They must think I'm buying the building! Please keep me in prayer as I'm still recovering from the surgery I had last week to remove the residual breast tissue. I have developed a seroma and it will need to be drained the day after my surgery next week. I don't have the pathology results yet, but I have trouble not worrying about it too. They didn't suspect more cancer, but you all know how the mind tends to wander to those dark, scary places.
Jo I will turn 51 in August. I feel like I'm going on 92! Arimidex has been difficult for me as I constantly battle pain issues, but I am grateful for the side effects as it gives me hope that it's working. My tumors were 80% ER+. Yes I do recall the handwriting on the wall in the book of Daniel predicting the kingdom of Babylon's fall.
Hang in there Peggy! How many more chemo treatments will you need? I'm glad you aren't in the heat of NC. It was 103 here today. It has been brutal for weeks.
Lynniea I hope you continue to improve and I will pray to that end. You have been through a lot. Our God is an awesome God. Keep us posted on your progress.
I don't know when I'll be able to get online again. My left thumb is the one that will be operated on, but that hand will be totally out of commission for two weeks. I'll hunt and peck if I have to.
Take care Ladies. You are such a blessing to me.
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Please will you kind ladies pray for me. I am 58 years old and I just found out I have BC and I am scared. I am trying to trust God and leave it all in His hands, but I have to tell you I am fighting the tears, now and have been since I found out this evening at 5pm from my primary care physcian. I feel totally alone and am trying not to question God. I know He will see me through this. I am just struggling. I am trying not to say why me, because so many have went through this before me, so why not me. I go to see a cancer specialist, don't even know what they are called, on Tuesday to see what happens next. In fact I don't know anything about what is happening. I am overwhelmed at this point. Going to take some time to understand it all. Right now I just need to settle down and try to think straight, so I can make some intelligent decisions come Tuesday. Thanks for your prayers and support.
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Praying for you tonight NIGHTNGALE. I'm 35 and I was diagnose early this year. Those first few weeks are so scary and uncertain. We're here for you and God has never turned his eyes from you. <hug>
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Nightngale, it's very normal to be afraid. And it's ok to cry sometimes becaue that gives some release. What has helped me are some scriptures that I repeat many times, Scriptures about God's love and wisdom and especially the ones that assure us he is with us through all of this. It is his strength that carries us through. You will come through this with a greater faith and greater trust in God.
Jot down any questions you have for the specialist because they are hard to remember when you are there. If you have a small tape recorder it might be helpful to record the session. I bought a little Sansa Fuse mp3 player and it has a recording feature. Used it for my second session with the doctor - she had no problem with that. After my first session, I couldn't remember much of what was said.
King David often said he would not fear because the Lord was with him, but he also said that when he was afraid he trusted in the Lord. I'm having my second chemo treatment soon and I am absolutely amazed at the way God is teaching me and changing me through all of this. He says (Isaiah 41:10, I think, "...I will be with you always...Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right arm."
When we can't seem to deal with these things ourselves, he is carrying us. He is with you in the decisions you need to make.
I will be praying for you often.
May he bless you with a new understanding of his love,
Peggy0 -
Hi JO, just realized we were diagnosed the same year, me on Jan 17 2004. God did give me the strength to get through. Nothing like the peace when you just turn it over to him. I remember the first 6 months I was a wreck and it is ok to cry, or whatever you need to do to get through it.
Nightngale, you are in my prayers, hang in there and when you get a plan it will get a little easier because you will feel like some of it is under your control. Please let us know after you see the dr and get your plan going. A big gentle hug to you.
My life is pretty much been a nightmare but am just trusting the Lord to see me through. He has really put the blessings on me this past 2 months. He has taken care of all my needs. From not being able to put gas in the car, no food, could not pay the car insurance. Well, neighbors brought me enough groceries for a month, someone turned my name in to a church that sponsors a different person each month and takes care of their needs, they bought me a gas card and paid my car insurance. To me this was a huge miracle because I had no idea what I was going to do except trust God. Finally went to court in May and my 18 year marriage is over. It is so sad, he did some horrible things but he is the one that will have to face God with them.
Anyway, am so glad this thread is still going strong. God bless you wonderful women. Hopefully Patoo is still around, I miss her too.
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Oh I forgot. congrats Rockette on having your first grandchild in January. I think grandkids hung the moon. lol
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I have not been on this thread in awhile but I have a prayer request for you ladies. It is not BC related. Today DH and I went to eat with our preacher and his family. He and my husband have been friends for awhile and he started up a new church a couple of years ago. About 6 months ago we felt lead to start going there (as it is 30 miles for us to drive) to give support as a new growing church is very stressful on the preacher and his family. Out of the blue today Nick asked me if I would pray about leading the women's ministry. The church is made up of young women with small children and then older women and they are very divided. Mainly because there just has not been anything to really bring the two groups together. I am going to have lunch this week with a girlfriend who leads the women's ministry at her church. She is one of my prayer buddies and I know I can always count on her. We don't see each other often but we know we are always there for each other. I know she will give me wise Christian council. I am pretty good about listening to what God has to say to me and Nick wants me to take time and make sure that I feel called to do this. So I will be in prayer about this and ask for prayers from you ladies. I'll keep you posted. YSIC
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Nightengale I will be praying for you. But remember it is OK to cry. Tears have been proven to be toxic and it is a good thing to get it out of our sysytem. You don't have to be a super women. We all have times that we get mad. I started a journal in the beginning and I have not written in it in awhile but in reading it now I see all the different emotions I have dealt with. I would give it to God and then I would take it back and worry and feel awful. When I would get into my low points my DH would ask me what I needed to to about it. And I would tell him I know I need to lay it at the foot of the cross. He would say and why haven't you. I said I did but I took it back and now it's too heavy to carry. He was good about bringing me back to where I needed to be. I pray you have someone that can do that for you.
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Hi,
I shouldn't be posting on a new-to-me thread, as I'm only out here on BCO once a week these days. I know some of you from other threads. I am 53, I gave my life to God when I was 18. I've taught childrens' Sunday School for about 30 years. Part of choir about that long as well, until I took a break last summer. I haven't rejoined yet. I've always been single, no kids.
I started crying while reading some of the more recent posts. I don't know why, other than I am just so tired. I've gotten through everything really great so far. I've had great peace. I was deconstructed a month ago and feeling much better since then. I'm trying to get back into my regular everyday life again, and suddenly I'm struggling. I'm a graphic artist, and I just don't feel like there is a creative bone left in my body. But work is more demanding than it's ever been in the past. I have a new boss and lots of changes. I feel like the world is zooming past me and I'm standing still. Everything is taking me twice as long to do. I was late for church this morning because I just couldn't pull myself together fast enough. I came home early and skipped tonight, as I was just emotionally exhausted and needed to just be by myself to recharge, before work starts again tomorrow. I'm so frustrated with myself. I'm having trouble focusing, and just "thinking" seems like a lot of work. Onward. God has gotten me this far, he won't leave me now. I guess I just need him now more than ever. Today more than yesterday or the day before. He is faithful even when I am tired.No one has to reply to this post. I probably won't have time to come back here for few days anyway. I'm just using this as a place to put my thoughts. Thank you for listening.
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Faithroad I do know you from another thread and you have been through alot with your reconstruction and then deconstruction. You have had so much on your plate that it is probably just hitting you as before you have had appts and treatments to think about and deal with and now you don't have all those things. I had a harder time when I finished with rads. Take time for yourself and rest, exspecially if work is more demanding than every. God with still be just as faithful even if you miss church. God calls us to take care of our bodies as well as our spirits. And you are right God has gotten you through this far and he will see you through the rest of your journey. I'll pray for you that work can lighten up and that you are able to just rest in God's grace.
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Faithroad I do know you from another thread and you have been through alot with your reconstruction and then deconstruction. You have had so much on your plate that it is probably just hitting you as before you have had appts and treatments to think about and deal with and now you don't have all those things. I had a harder time when I finished with rads. Take time for yourself and rest, exspecially if work is more demanding than every. God with still be just as faithful even if you miss church. God calls us to take care of our bodies as well as our spirits. And you are right God has gotten you through this far and he will see you through the rest of your journey. I'll pray for you that work can lighten up and that you are able to just rest in God's grace.
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It's been a while since I've popped on to this thread. Rocket I hope things are going better for you--I will pray for you! You've been through so much!
Spar, Peggy, Jo, Nightngale (I sent you a private message!), SherryC, Pejkug, Lynniea--I will be praying for you all tonight. May God bless each one of you with His peace, healing and comfort. To God be the glory!
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This will be one of the hardest things to get out. I have a family in my church who a moving to NC August 21. It breaks my heart so much. Her husband herself and her children are a big part of my life. There were so many nights we talk and talk. It was a blessing to be able to talk to someone that wasnt going to fall apart as I was falling apart. Please pray for strength as they move forward to start a new life that God is givin them. Thanks, Paula
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Nightngale - I began to weep as I read your post. We all know too well the fear of the unknown as soon as you learn you have breast cancer. I believe you said that your appointment with your oncologist is tomorrow. I am praying even now that God will bring some gentle calm to your spirit. I said to myself so many times when going through that uncertainty and questioning what God was doing that "the proof of His love is the cross and not my circumstance." I have been a Christian for over 31 years, and I had to remind myself daily of that simple but important truth. God knows your heart, and I believe that it's okay to voice those fears, anger, frustration, etc. He's a very big God and He can take our feelings and help us sort them out. I remember crying every night for five weeks straight. I remember laying prostrate on the floor of my living room while I was home alone and pleading for God to have mercy and spare my life. I can honestly say that God's grace was sufficient for each struggle and trial. You will get through this - not because you are strong by yourself, but because you are strong in His strength. Isaiah 41:10 is a fabulous verse to have memorized. I said it so many times over and over. I will be praying for you. I will pray that someone can go with you and be supportive. There is a lot to learn, but Breast Cancer.org has a wealth of information to help you sort through it. We are here as well. You are not alone!
Paula - I live in NC. I wonder if they are moving to Eastern NC? I know how hard it is to say goodbye to ones that you love as family. I'm sure you will keep in close touch by phone, emails or even online messaging. When I had a friend move away, I put together a basket with seven little wrapped gifts inside - one for each day of the week. I numbered each one and told my friend to only open one gift each day. Each gift wasn't expensive, but it brought her such joy to have a rememberance of our friendship for that whole week after she had moved. We have remained friends for almost 20 years now and even when we don't talk too often we pick up right where we left off. My heart does ache for you however as I know those sweet friendships don't come along too often.
Spar - thanks for the congrats. I can't wait to be a grandma! I am so excited about it I won't know what to do with myself when that baby gets here. I'm just trying to get all my health issues under control so I'll have the opportunity to enjoy him or her. We should know in a few more weeks whether it's a boy or a girl.
TMarina - good to hear from you again. I hope you have been doing well. Your positive outlook and compassion always brighten my spirit.
Faithroad - I share the experience of a very challenging job. I am a finance officer for a 4 million dollar grant. I supervise a large staff and there are 60 people in our organization. It was tough when going through chemo, then radiation and taking Arimidex to keep my brain focused. Tomorrow will be my fourth surgery since I was diagnosed with breast cancer a little over a year and a half ago. The concentration thing is very difficult. I get exhausted and it's all I can do just to make it through the day. You might just be in a slump right now, but if your profile picture is an example of your graphic art ability, I'd say you were really talented. I will pray about your job and that your God-given talent and abilities will shine through. I do completely understand your frustration.
SherryC - I am praying that God will give you wisdom to make the right decision about whether to lead the women's ministry or not. I remember leading a Sunday school class for 5th and 6th graders and I think I learned more than they did - not so much about the lessons, but seeing their childlike faith.
Well all, please keep me in prayer tomorrow, Tuesday. My thumb surgery is at 11:00 am. The floor in our master bedroom is being replaced on Wednesday and that's the day I have to go back to the breast surgeon to have this seroma drained. It's really gross because it sounds like I have a can of soup in my chest if I touch it. Please pray that the pathology report would be good. My DH has to stay with the floor contractor, so a friend is driving me to the doctor on Wednesday. The thumb doc said I'd be out all week from work, but I told him I'd be back to work on Thursday! We'll see who wins! :-) I'll keep you posted.
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Hi, All!
It's been a few months since I asked for prayer about the nodule on my lung. I had my CT scan, and guess what...the nodule is GONE! I think He gave me a little miracle. I am so glad as we all know how it is going through these tests and worry and trying to trust the Lord but faltering sometime. God gave me a great scripture in the midst of it..."He will save you from all your FEARS." (in Psalms)
I clung to that. So sorry I havent posted in awhile! I have to get better!
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Cake, I'm so glad about your good news. God is faithful and often gives mercy. Even when the news isn't good he is still God, but when we hear of these acts of mercy it is wonderful.
I had my second AC yesterday and avoided last times initial nausea by munching on crackers all the way home. The time when the SE set in last week -- later than the immediate nausea -- is coming up in a few days (if it is usually on the same timetable. Am praying for mercy, but know that he will be strengthening and helping me and holding me up with his righteous right arm. Thank you for the prayers.
In his love,
Peggy0 -
Paula I know this friend moving must be hard on you because I know how hard it has been with yor daughter moving. I will pray for your friends new start and will pray for you as it will be a big adjustment for you not having her there.
Rocket I pray for your surgery to go well and that you get that fluid drained out of that seroma.
Cakeisgreat congrats on the lung nodule not being there. Those are the reports we like to hear around here.
Ladies thanks for you prayers and wisdom regarding this Women's ministry. I did speak to my friend last night. She is such a wise Christian women, I am lucky to have her in my life. I'll keep you posted.
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