thread for middle age to older Christian women.
Comments
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This Husband stuff can be so brutal! My youngest Daughter's best "older" friend, is stage 1V breast cancer....in a nursing home... You would think that would be enough.... but NO...Her DH of MANY years, over 85 now has a live-in girlfriend! She was wife's best friend!
He tells wife he wants a divorce! HE is spending all the money he can get his hands on. The wife's 2 Daughters are taking the case to court...trying to get something done, before their Mom is left with nothing... She is fighting for her life...
My DD has seen DH of hers in the store...will not talk to him. Hard to tell what I would say to him, other than running over him if I were to see him!
Life can be so un-fair... My heart just aches for this woman... This man? is just BEGGING to be smacked! And I'm sure God would close his eyes for a second, for this to take place. I know... I keep "hearing" "this too shall pass"....but when?
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I like that Jo.... "His arms around me, and His hand over my mouth"..... I'll try and remember that when things get tough....
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Jo...He will definitely have to keep his hand over my mouth tonight. I tried being rude to this guy at a party we all attended once before, hoping he would get the message, but I guess not. I just think he wants us to come to his place so I will tell his ex how nice he is living and all about his trophy girlfriend...as if I would...I would not tell her a thing that would make her feel worse.
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Jo: Thank you for sharing that...it is perfect.
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Dear Kaara, great advice from everyone!!!! I hope that you can enjoy the people there that you care for and hopefully just ignore(with kindness, of course
) the trouble maker. I so understand your situation, so just try to get through the night, knowing our prayers are coming your way for discernment on how to handle all of this. It sounds like you are a wonderful and caring friend. God bless you, Kathy 0 -
JO-5 ... I just love you! "Keep His arms around me and His hand over my mouth" is priceless.
Chevyboy ... my heart breaks for your friend. At times like that I keep thinking that in time his just reward will occur - of course, I like something more immediate - like a bolt of lightening! I'm working on it, but patience was never one of my virtues. Give your friend a big hug for me.
May the Lord bless and keep us away from thoughtless and cruel people.
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Good Morning everyone! You were all so nice to give m advice yesterday and I'm sure you would like to know how my evening turned out last night. Their home was lovely, and my BF's friend was very nice and didn't say one bad word about his ex; however, I can't say the same for his trophy girl...she made a couple of downright nasty comments about my friend's decorating taste and so forth which resulted in my having an instant dislike for her. Now why wouldn't she realize that I'm still friends with his ex and refrain from making comments like that. How insensitive!
All I can say is this guy got exactly what he deserves...she is going to spend his money as fast as he can make it. She's about as materialistic as they come, flashing her jewelery and such, and going into so much detail about it that I finally had enough...held up my hands which are empty of anything but a silver friendship band that my BF gave me and said that I wasn't a fan of expensive jewelery, so the entire discussion was really wasted on me. JO...I used the best "southern speak" that I could muster when I said it. Fortunately for me, her mother was invited to dinner as well, and I had a very enjoyable time talking with her, which made the evening all in all very pleasant. Enough said...it will be a loooong time before we see them again. BF agrees, and said he thought trophy girl was a spoiled brat. There's an old saying..."what goes around comes around".
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Dear Kaara, You did good!!!!!! Jo-5 I am lifting your daughter up in prayer right now! Please keep us posted. Hugs,Kathy0
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Hi Gals,
I still don't have the official results of my bone scan. Unofficiallt however, my oncologist's nurse called me today to tell me that she looked at the report and only saw degenerative changes but no evidence of metastatic disease. (Sweet relief)! They will probably chalk it up to LE. I can't thank you all enough for your prayers and support.
I love that you sisters are very genuine and feel comfortable enough to be yourselves. The Lord already knows what we think, so no hiding it from Him. I started going to a Christian counselor to help me deal with the fear of recurrence and the anger that I feel from time to time about the fact that my gynecologist kept telling me it was fibrocystic breast tissue, when all along three cancerous tumors were growing despite normal mammograms! The gynecologist is a Christian and attends my church. Talk about awkward. Needless to say, I have a new gynecologist, but when I see the former one at church, it triggers some tough feelings. I believe I have forgiven him, but I struggle with PTSD. My body, mind and spirit were traumatized by breast cancer. It's going to take me some time to get better at dealing with it and trusting the medical community again. I do know and believe that .god is sovereign and loves me completely. His Son took my place on the cross - proof enough!
I am praying for you all, and I want to thank you for loving me and caring about this thread where we can share our struggles openly. Bless you all!0 -
JO....I am praying for your DD. My MD surfaced about the time I was 50 as well...the dry kind which is very slow progressing and just needs to be watched carefully. I had it in both eyes. By the time I was 70, my left eye had advanced to wet which is the kind that can rapidly progress to blindness. Fortunately they have injections that can stop the progression and even restore sight. I am getting those now. I had my second one on Monday and the doctor said there was much improvement. These new treatments have just come out in the last 10 years and are expected to get better as time goes on. Hopefully your DD has caught hers early and will be able to keep it from progressing at all. It is very frightening to hear this dx, but also good to know that there is a way to stop this disease in it's tracks.
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Hello ladies, may I join you? I'm 49, diagnosed with bc last December, and am doing chemo now. I have two boys, early twenties, who live 2 hours away and go to school. I homeschooled them until high school, then went to nursing school......currently not working, and then bc! So I'm glad I don't have a job to contend with at the moment. I've been a born again Christian since 1984...... Haven't been to church since chemo started, as my counts are always low. Anyway, I really was happy to see a thread like this!
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Happy to have you Sissydi. I think I have seen you on another thread, so it's good that you have found this one too. The more the merrier. Welcome!
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Praying for your daughter Jo. Do keep us posted.
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Rocket: Forgot to say it before, but glad your bone scan was good and showed no mets!
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Thanks Kaara! I was so relieved!
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JO-5 ... I, too, will pray for your daughter. The great thing about this thread is that there is always someone who can help; who has first hand experience.
Rocket ... so happy that your scan was clear. Even if you think it is okay its no okay until some one in the medical profession tells you its clear!
I think I will try to attend church this Sunday. Hope the roof doesn't cave in when I walk through the door! Its been so long - I just couldn't sit for long enough to get through the service. I wonder if I should bring a pillow with me so that my hip is not sitting on a hard wood pew? I'll be sure to take some pain meds to "endure to the end."
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Kmccraw423, I think bringing a pillow would be a great idea, and certainly the pain meds would help as long as the meds don't make you too sleepy. ;-)
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Dear Rocket, Praise the Lord!!! I am sure you are feeling sweet relief right now. You have had so much on your plate, so this is wonderful news. You deserve it. Welcome Sissydi, you have come to a wonderful thread with wonderful ladies.Kathleen, take with you whatever you need to make you comfortable at church, pillows and pain meds sound good to me and Our Lord won't mind, he,he,he!!!! Enjoy your Sunday!!! Hugs and Blessings to everyone here!!!!!
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JO: My son has been jobless for almost three years. It was not all in vain as he was able to stay home and take care of my DGD while DIL kept her job, but it's now time for him to start working again. He has an interview this week and next, so I'm praying for success. It's so hard for kids today with the job market being what it is. I pray your SIL will resolve his employment issues. Sometimes when one door closes, another opens that is even better, so that is what we hope and pray for.
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JO: I was reading on my AMD site this morning and there are a lot of new treatments in trials right now to stop the progression of both dry and wet MD, and even a vaccine to prevent dry from turning to wet. This is real progress, so tell your DD that she wants to stay on the cutting edge. If she is afraid of having to possibly get an injection, tell her not to worry, they are not given for the dry variety which is probably what she has, if at all. Dry only requires taking vitamins that contain lutein and other antioxidants to help the eye. The sooner she gets started the better chance she has. I ignored my doctor's advice on the vitamins...and here I am today...wishing I had paid more attention.
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Dear Wonderful Ladies, I am lifting you all up in prayer right now, knowing Our Lord knows all your needs and concerns. You are all such faithful servants and He will listen and answer!! I pray that jobs open up, medical concerns are dealt with and no Cellulitis for you JO-5!!!!!! Nothing is impossible for our Lord!!! Lord, no matter what our outward circumstances are, let your love shine from my heart!!!!! Love and Hugs to you all, Kathy
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My heart goes out to all who are having employment problems. It is a real test of our faith. The Good Lord will provide but the wait is excruciating and Satan is working overtime during that awful wait!
JO-5 ... I pray you do not have cellulitis. No, you can't tell a 50 year old what to do but I would ask her what she's waiting for. While God does perform miracles He also said He helps those who help themselves. I know how frustrated you are ... I have a few relatives with a stubborn streak a mile long - all you can do is your best and pray to Him to give them a push.
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Thanks for the welcome ladies! I miss fellowship, so I appreciate all of you and this forum.
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Question for you wise women:
Every time I go to church or small group, I start weeping during the worship songs.
I can't tell if it is the Spirit vs the lyrics - that always seem to include death. (I am stage IV). Like My Jesus I Love Thee - I was fine until we hit verse 3: "I'll love thee in life I will love thee in death ... And sing when the death dew lies cold on my brow..." For most youngish folks singing their hearts out, this is a distant future concept. Far more gut wrenching for me.
Sometimes I want to keep in touch with my church community without the constant reminder that I have a terminal illness. Do I go later to church to skip the worship time? Or would that be avoiding something God wants to tell me?0 -
Learnin,
I wouldn't skip worship. Many blessings await in worship.
It sounds as if you are in mourning. I don't know about others but that sounds pretty healthy to me. And who cares what other people think....He counts your every tear...in my mind there is no better place to cry than during a worship service.
That's my 2 cents.
I'm sorry you're hurting.
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Welcom sissydi, so glad to meet you.
Tonlee, your story gave me such hope, am going in my closet and pray for such a sign as you received. Am suppose to visit a new church this Sunday. Thank you for that
JO, praying for your daughter and you and all your family.
Kathleen, we have to forgive and it is hard to do. I haven't been able to forgive my husband for the molestation of a child so God is not through with me yet. I have to get over that and forgive. I do so hope he rots in jail though (that is very unchristian but haven't been able to change that feeling)
I do know God has something in store for my life and I am excited to see what it is and all the drama and truama should be over June of this year one way or the other.
I am assuming I am still cancer free, I didn't have the last 2 check ups because I no longer have health insurance and very little money. Am looking for a job and hope to find one soon.
Hugs and prayers to all of you and so happy this thread is still thriving
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learnin - those tears are so precious to God he stores them in a bottle in heaven. You have to let the tears flow when they surface, it's part of the grieving process and you don't move on until you work through the tears. I'm 13 months into this BC process and my heart was pretty tenderized by music. I played music when I needed to shed tears and played music to calm my soul. I don't cry on demand anymore but I really hope the words to those 'old' songs continue to touch my heart and bring tears to my eyes. It reminds me what God has brought me through.
Just think of it as God helping you work out the kinks in life. It's all good.
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Morning gals.... Spar.... just a quick note for you... I was waiting for my Dr. office to open, and a gal & I were talking about Asthma... She was there to pick up some "samples" of this particular expensive inhaler, Advair. I don't know why she told me this, but she said "I don't have insurance, but Dr. Way gives me samples because she knows I can't afford it!"
I thought that was so great, that my, (our) Doctor had enough compassion to do this for her! She came out with a sack full, that must have had at least 4 of those boxes! That just made my day.
Maybe you can talk to your last medical team about this? I hope you can find a way, to get in for a checkup...
And hopefully you will find somewhere, somehow, the courage or peace that will let you know, you can "move on" from those thoughts about your Ex. Is it "forgiveness" or just "time heals all wounds?" How do we know if we have "forgiven" someone? It's just too hard to forget.
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I'm not sure if I have posted on this thread before, my brain has left the premises. I love following the conversations, tho.
I am a real cryer at church. Isn't there a saying you can tell if the spirit is moving by the number of empty kleenex boxes? And sometimes it is just sobbing out loud. I have been a member of the same church for about 18 years, during that time I have gone through so many losses and hard times. But God is always there, even (especially) when I can't feel him. The last time I was able to get to church (3 wks out from rads) I was crying up front during the ending music and a man came from the congregation and sat beside me and put his arm around me and just said it is ok, you are ok. I was so comforted and touched. I was missing my dad (who died last year) and feeling very alone. But I left there feeling loved.
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macatacmv ... that touched my soul. That's why we go to the Lord's house. He provides what we need.
learnin ... once, when someone gave their testimony I burst into hysterical sobbing! It is the Holy Ghost stirring inside. As others have said, it is part of the grieving process. My motto about almost anything is better out then in. This external expression of emotion is so much healthier than internalizing it.
JO ... still praying for your daughter.
Spar ... it is so good to see you post! I've missed you so much. I am trying to forgive. What I don't understand is why they abandoned me. I don't get it. It really hurt as I am sure what your ex did hurt you so much.
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