thread for middle age to older Christian women.
Comments
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Jo that mustve been a very stressful time for you being on your own. Its really hard when theres help, let alone on your own! but wow you mustve put in some hard yards. Over here you get means tested and if your assets fall below a certain cap and you fit the critereria health-wise, it is fully funded. They take all your pension of course but theres a wee bit of 'pocket money' allowance. Theres a lot of red tape to wade through and various departments can overlap with their particlar services, which can be really confusing and cause unecessary stress.
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Hey Gals,
Musical that was funny, "No......coz we aimed better." I may have to steal that one. :-) Yes you are correct that the Lord wants us to hold onto stuff lightly, but we still have to live here at least for a while.
Jo, I am leaning toward moving her. The bottom line is that if she lives a year she will have to move regardless. Here's the catch, for her to be guaranteed a room at the facility near where I live, she would need to be private pay for a month. The cost for that would be roughly $6,000 because it's long-term nursing home care and not assisted living. Her funds would then be depleted (all but the $2,000 that Medicaid allows). I'm pretty certain her doctor would approve her for LT care because she can't live alone and none of us are able to care for her on an ongoing basis in our home. I think moving her is the best choice, but I don't know if Mom would feel that way. I will be talking with her this week. Please pray she is receptive to the idea. It's going to be very hard for her to transition unless the Lord intervenes. My mom is a new Christian and struggles with depression, despite numerous medications. I would appreciate your prayers for her.
I also need to confess a deep-seated fear that I have had. I rebuke it frequently, but it nags at me. Okay here goes. I'm honestly afraid of blessing. I know that it sounds totally stupid, but for the last two years I have become comfortable with suffering (in a weird sort of way). It's like if the Lord is allowing me to suffer, then He won't give me any more at that time. It's when I experience blessing that I fear the other shoe will drop and wham, cancer will strike me unexpectedly. For instance, our recent move has provided us with a beautiful home on a hill overlooking seven mountain peaks. The view is breathtaking. I also have an oncology appointment this week, and I'm terrified that my bloodwork will reveal something ominous. I do know that God uses blessings and trials only for our good. Unfortunately, it's when I fail to recognize this, and His complete sovereignty and love for me, that this fear rears its head. Please pray that God would give me greater faith and trust in Him to accept whatever comes as it has always touched Him before it touches me. Paul states that he knows both want and plenty and that in either situation, he is content. Well I have to learn to be content in both situations. You think it would be easy to be content when we have plenty, but trust me, it isn't always so.
Thanks for letting me unload that burden. My heart is tender here. Please pray for my upcoming onc appointment, that fear will not overwhelm me and that my faith and trust will be in our living Savior alone.
Love you Ladies!0 -
Phew, glad Rocket you saw the funny side :-) ...sometimes I can 'feel a sudden attack of naughtiness coming on' ....but if I can make a Christian siss/bro smile, then mission accomplished. Lol I always tell people to aim better if they say they miss me.
Now onto serious matters. I will pray for you Rocket,... and Lord right now I lift up Rockets mum because this has really encouraged me that oldies can yet still be saved. I'm so grateful she shared that because I see so many oldies remain in their stubborness and we've all heard how we get 'set in our ways'....I was beginning to wonder if it was possible oldies could get saved. I really pray her mum will be encouraged. I ask for a miracle Lord. I ask that you will give her a very special blessing and a knowing and a comfort that exceeds the norm. I thankyou that Jo and Rocket have been very honest in sharing their fears and vulnerabilities, and would pray that you would especially bless them for that. You say in all things give thanks, and so YES sometimes thats hard to even understand let alone do. It is only by Your Spirit Lord.Amen and Amen!
Rocket you have put it so well. I think that everyone who truly means business with the Lord will go through what you so succinctly described.
I think another angle to this is that our walk and therefore our level of faith can rise and fall like the tide. It is like keeping short accounts with God. Its like taking up our cross daily and sometimes that cross will be so heavy to bear it needs a little adjusting.
I have been really struggling with this whole thing of us putting our mum into care. Im of the view that if the Bible at all seems outdated antiquated or 'irrelevant,' then guess who moved the goalposts? "I am the same yesterday today and forever...." In the NT it says about families looking after their old ones but Ive struggled with questions exactly like what Jo has faced. How could we look after someone in this situation, even though we would really want to but we simply cant. I know this for sure. Satan stands before the Father accusing us day and night. He loves to do the guilt trip. It will not be enough for me to say these things, because not only have I been there, I still am in some ways. I know its only a deep personal thing that God works out in each and every one of us. Still, it is good to encourage each other.
Something someone said really encouraged me. "Youre not responsible for the thoughts that drop in you, but you are for those you entertain." Again easier said that done, but helpful nonetheless. I think we will be "renewing the mind" until we either die or He comes back to catch us away. (Rapture) A scripture I dearly love and helps is
Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. KJV
I most certainly STILL fear mine coming back at times, sometimes in just a little indescript way, sometimes an angry way, sometimes plain out fear because of what others will have to deal with, like my poor old mum who has already outlived one daughter with this mongrel disease. My imaginitiss is far too fertile at times, and gets the better of me, then I have pull myself up with a round turn, to renew the mind, trust God that He is who He says He is and that no lie abides in Him.To come back and say "Not my will but Thine be done" I think one of the most enigmatic but encouraging Scriptures Ive ever seen in the word for situations like this is....
All of Romans 7 but specifically....
Rom 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.
Rom 7:15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. (SOUNDS VERY FAMILIAR TO ME LOL!!!)
Rom 7:16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
Rom 7:17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
Rom 7:18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
Rom 7:19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. (LOL HOW TYPICAL IS THIS!!!)
Rom 7:20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
Rom 7:21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
Rom 7:22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
Rom 7:23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
Rom 7:24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
Rom 7:25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. (KJV)UNderscores and Bold for emphasis, Uppercase mine, and apologies for not including textual italics. (takes too long)
Blessings
Musical
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Lifting you all up in prayer!
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Love all that spiritual wisdom Musical and Jo. I appreciate all of your prayers - you as well Mini. I don't know what I would do without you Ladies. You never fail to encourage me and lift me up. I have read those Scriptures many times, but it is so good to be reminded.
Thank you also for helping me with the guilt issue regarding my mom. She will struggle greatly, however I do think moving her would be the best option. Now I just need to get some energy after moving myself to help move Mom and to convince her it's the best thing.
I have been so completely exhausted every day, both emotionally and physically. I desperately need rest. Thank you all again for your prayers.0 -
It sounds to me like moving her would be plan A. I dont know the US medical system, or all the physical and spiritual implications (and trust me we all have our own unique set) but I'm sure it would be much easier in the long run dealing with any issues that pop up from time to time, when she is that much closer geographically. Depression is the pits. I believe in some cases its a direct attack of the devil.
There is so much on your plate right now Rocket, and like I said, I obviously dont know all about your situation, but Im really hoping some folk can step up to the plate with some practicle help for you. You need practicle support, and you need it now. I know it is a sensitive subject about being vulnerable, having to ask for, or accept help. Looking out for each other is the basic tenet of Scripture. Its love with legs on it. I hope someone is pulling for you! I know one thing, its extremely hard to keep giving out of an empty unreplenished bucket. You need a time at the oasis, a time of refreshing and a top up. I pray for that for you.
Musical
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Thank you dear Musical. I so appreciate the prayers. I have another foot surgery coming up in December, and it will take place in Eastern NC. If I move Mom now, I would not be with her at Christmas due to my recovery needs. She would be in a new facility in Western NC where I now live, and I wouldn't be there for the holiday. I know that is a small matter in the big scheme of things, but it's just another consideration. I will not be able to walk or drive for eight - twelve weeks.
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There is a lot of wisdom in that phrase. So very true!
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Hi Everyone,
Hope you all are having a good day! I just love the way God orchestrates our lives. Rocket and Musical I see you both going through similar trials and here you are able to share and Jo-5 can relate as well. I'm praying for both your situations with your moms and always giving thanks for the peace I know you both have that they both belong to God. Still, I know it must be stressful beyond measure to go through such challenges on top of all that you both deal with physically yourselves.
Speaking of how God orchestrates our lives, I was excited to read where Kindergarten shared Phil 4:6-7. I wish I had scripture memorized but I often can't recall where things are. In recent conversation with my son Phil 4:8 came up. I was telling him how helpful it was to me and he said.....and what is before that. I thought and said I know what Philippians 4:9 says and I kept saying don't tell me. He said.....alright but if you can't remember look and see. Then I come here and there it is. Later Musical is sharing Philippians 4:8. Very nice!
My husband is still here for 3 1/2 more weeks. All is going well for which I am so thankful. He is enjoying the church we recently began visiting. It's the most solid teaching I have ever heard. They go verse by verse through a book at a time. The bible study is on 2 Thes and Galations is what the sermons are on. Sunday evenings we are in Acts. I never knew what a difference having the historical context and a strong knowledge of Greek made with teaching. I have actually in all my life sat under this kind of teaching. This is definitely a season of growth for me. I'm so thankful.
Musical, I know you once mentioned music. Did you get your love for music from your mom? Do you play keys as well?
Jo5 I needed that encouragement. I often let scares pop in my mind; especially like when I am extremely tired which seems to be more and more often these days.
I can also relate to what Rocket shared about being afraid of blessings. One example would be this past spring when God sent a mentor to my sons. There's a story to be told here in itself. It was an answer to prayer in which God covered details that I thought would have been to specific to ask of Him. When that happened, I thought.....I must be going to die soon. I thought God was putting everything in place for that to happen. Then I thought....how wonderful is that.....He is taking care of everything. Still, I want to live and hopefully have God use me in the lives of possible grandchildren one day.
That was my line of thinking.....not that something good would come without something difficult. So, I totally understand.
I love you all and continue to keep you in my prayers.
Sorry I haven't posted in the past few days. I check in and keep you all in my prayers but I'm trying not to post so late at night. I end up staying up much longer and there's no telling how many mistakes I make. You all have been very patient with me in that area. I know some of my posts must seem like they are encrypted at times.
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Hi and Blessings to all!!!! I have not posted here for a few days, but please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers. We are anxiously awaiting our first granddaughter. She should be arriving any day!!!! Fondak, I love the book of Philippians. I can always find the right verse for comfort and peace. Rocket, your new home sounds so beautiful and prayers are coming your way for discernment in regards to your dear mom. You are a wonderful daughter and Our Lord has a plan that will work for the both of you. Hugs to all and have a very blessed Wednesday.
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Fondak, thank you for sharing that story. I thought I was the only one thinking that God was putting everything in place because I was going to die. It's not that I worry that I won't go to Heaven, but rather I too want to be used in the life of grandchildren. I also love Phillipians as well as James. Right now I'm reading in Proverbs. The Hebrew and Greek give us more clarity with respect to context too. I have been fortunate to have excellent teaching. I'm hoping we can find a good church in our new town.
Kathy, I'm so excited for you as you wait for your first granddaughter. What a blessing! I just spent the evening with mine and she is so precious! Today she just cut her first two teeth! She just turned six months old. You will have such fun buying pretty little outfits!
Well I'm off to bed. It's been a very long day and tomorrow I take Mom to one of her doctors and then Thursday to her PCP where we will discuss moving her. Thursday afternoon I have my onc appointment and would covet your prayers for normal bloodwork.
Loving all you Ladies and lifting your various concerns to the throne of grace. Until soon...0 -
Just got back from spending a morning with my mum at the home, and took her for a quick trip into town for me to get some more jeans. Old ones an embarresment with holes, because I've had a severe case of the CBBs (cant be bothered'z) to get some more. I find Im allergic to town/shopping centres/because my feet burn and ache if Im on them too long and Arimidex isnt playing nice at the mo.
It seems the folks at the resthome are lining mum up for playing keyboards, for this and that and the other. I was soooo stoked on Sunday we were able to get Mums keyboard (full length) into her somewhat small room. Talk about putting and taking with all her art gear and stuff!!! but we've managed to get there. She also has started to get back into her painting so these are all good things to keep her busy and motivated ... the other day it was glasses gone awol, but this time she's gone and lost her Bible and a comb (rolleyes ..but in a nice way of course, LOL ) . I know God will understand. LOL . She went hooning yesterday on a wee trip they put on for them, and she looooved it. Had her hair washed cut and set this a.m. and a lady taking her out to feed the chooks as I was leaving. She is settling in better I think, but I am concerned that she has changed from being a very level headed person who could overlook many an aggravation, and ride out many a storm, to quite a vulnerable and sensitive person where things easily 'tip her up'. The Lord Knows. Thankyou ladies for your prayers. Im so grateful for these rest home places.
"You can't keep the birds from flying over your head but you don't have to let them build a nest in your hair!"
Jo, Ah yes, I've heard it put that way too. LOL sooorry my rendition was supposed to be "drop in ON you" (duh) .
I pray Rocket your dear Mum will be receptive to what is best for her and you and what the future holds. Im still asking for that special blessing on her as an elderly lady who is a new Christian. That is remarkable. Thats precious! Thankyou Lord for her! I pray against the attacks of the enemy who only seeks to accuse day and night, and that she will gloriously overcome that horrible thing called depression. Amen! I love the book of Proverbs. It is so amazing.
Hi fondak, dont you just love it when Scriptures 'come together' like that, and when they do so on an unrelated basis. Gives you a leap in your spirit! If your posts have been cryptic, I havent noticed
. I too fight to remember where verses are. What I do do, is remember key words and then just search for them. I love the Strongs because not only is it KJV based but it is exhaustive. You can find every single instance of a word. I have the freebie software, E-Sword and it makes life a lot easier than shlepping great reference books everywhere. I real wonderful tool.Not sure where I got my love for music, but not only Mum plays but my Dad too. When he was alive he played accordian and harmonica. Me? Im a jack of all trades and a master of none, LOL. I played Drums in church yrs ago and I sold my set coz they were pretty 'average' and good ones are VERY expensive. When I got into recording I went for a Drum machine which was a compromise coz I love the real thing, but you'd get better results recording internally, and yes I do Keyboards, also Guitars (12 string and Electric), and sing and write. I've got a flute but I just dont have the time or the breath to do it justice. I use Logic Studio 8 on my Mac G4 for Digital Audio Recording.
I pray Fondak that your time left with hubby will be really blessed and fruitful indeed and that God will replenish your strength. He loves His children to get into His word. He loves us to cherish what He says, because He may not have told us all we want to know, but He sure has told us all we need to know.
Bless you Ladies
Musical
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I wondered about that Jo, and the other day we had a working bee frantically naming her stuff with, as you say, a good marker pen. We were in such a hurry that where tags were still left on, we just marked those, but in other cases it was out with the bernina to sew on tags.
Just heard last night that my Mums Sister (91yrs I think) is not expected to live but she's pulled out of "things" 3 times before. Its Congestive Heart failure and this time they think she wont pull out. Now we have to consider whether its wise for us to take mum to the funeral if she passes, coz its quite a long way (Ha, in NZ terms) about a 5 to 6 hour drive. She loves travelling but it also takes a lot out of her and we think it could be too far. She has been so tired of late. Oh dear, decisions decisions.
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"(There was one person in my Dad's facility that had one of those little bags hanging on their walker - during lunch or dinner - they went room to room "collecting" treasures! LOL)"
Ha ha ha Jo....well one thing about this, you have to laugh or you would cry and Ive had my share of that lately, so thanks for the laugh. :-).
Just got back this a.m. and Mum has "lost" her comb so thats 3 times in a row LOL. She keeps forgetting its simply in the drawer. Last week I did see she had left her glasses by a chair, but you dont know if that was where she had actually sat or someone else was using them.. LOL they reckon walking sticks "do the rounds".
We've been told the oldies have their bad days and good days, and yesterday Mum decided she would go "walk about" and got lost a block away. We have said she is not to go out on her own. For her level of care they cant stop her from going out, which is totally rediculous because she clearly is at risk because of memory problems and that proves it. I said to one of the nurses there this a.m. that I prefer the ambulance at the top of the cliff not the bottom. As usual when youre dealing with "the system" nobody can do their jobs properly. Its bad enough that theres ALWAYS red tape, pen pushers and hanger ons who know squat all, but the ones who count have their hands tied so they cant do their jobs properly either. Sound familiar anyone????? Anyway, they are noting this last escapade and if it happens 3 times then things will be "looked at" again.
Today she is showing that side that is hard to deal with, and which you Jo know of, only too well.
When we were putting this all in place for my Mum, I voiced my concern about people nicking stuff and they reckoned they havent had problems with it, but I bet they have. Probably though it would be worse or noticeable in the dementia units, where they are "securely looked after" (I dont like to mention "locked in" coz it sounds too much like a jail, but thats what it is.) ....but what can you do????
Well I just read your post one back and you said about "... name on EVERYTHING. " I think that about sums it up LOL - We've only done her clothes!
Thanks for your thoughts on when you decided not to take your Dad to funerals far off. That has helped. It means a lot because youve been there done that.
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I just accidentally deleted my post...How I do that I don't know.
Musical praying for you and you mom and also that God would use you both there in His bringing salvation to others around your mom.
Rocket, praying for you and your husband in your search for a church and for opportunites to minister to others as He has equipped you to do.
Dechi and Tonlee praying for you both as you are going through your exchange......Tonlee also praying for you family. I am thinking you are probably back together now or otherwise soon to be.
Jo-5 praying in thanksgiving for you and all you ladies here!
Love you all!
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Wish I was closer Rocket. Don't know much about NC being a Michigan gal. But I do like your neck of the woods. I have a friend in NC (I'm not sure where you are ) that works in the medical area. I'd be happy to ask about a facility or a Doc if it's anywhere in her area. At least in NC you are close to docs and centers in other states if you don't find anything satisfactory in your area.
I always try to remind myself that God will not send you anywhere that He has not gone ahead and prepared the way for you. Just keep clinging to Jer. 29:11
HAPPY SATURDAY!
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Hey Ladies,
Just catching up on your posts. Thank you so much for praying for us. We are officially in our home here in Boone. We are still unpacking things and getting settled, but we have made a lot of progress. I can't begin to tell you how much my feet hurt though. The view from my front deck makes up for it however!
Mom is saying she's ready to move, but now they have no available beds in the facility. The home is privately owned and is directly across from the Samaritan's Purse Billy Graham organization. I think my mom would adjust. I talked with her PCP when I took her for a follow up visit and because she isn't on an NG tube, etc., she wouldn't qualify for a skilled nursing facility. There is another designation on the FL-2 form that is INF, which the doctor said she would select. I think it stands for Intermediate Nursing Facility. Does anyone know if that will allow her to be admitted to a nursing home? If she's not admitted to long-term care, she will not qualify for Medicaid because her social security check will exceed the limit for the state of NC. I will call the facility this week to see if she will qualify under the INF designation when they have an available bed.
We are trying a new church tomorrow. Please continue to pray that we will find a loving body of believers. We met our new neighbors today and they were very warm and welcoming. That made me feel a lot better. I am also going to join a wellness center here to see if I can swim to help with my LE. It would be relaxing too.
Thank you Ladies for all of your love, prayers and sage wisdom. You guys are the BEST! I praise God for each of you!0 -
Thankyou fondak for your prayers and others who have prayed that I dont know about. Your prayers sure are appreciated. I pray that your time with hubby will be really fruitful and special. As for "losing posts" yes that can get old very quickly. I cant tell you how many times thats happened to me. I tend to type them into wordpad or some text editor and then paste them in when Im finished. Sometimes you can retrieve a post by clicking on the back button, but this depends very much on the website. It doesnt always work and it depends on what exactly caused the post to go awol. For me on DOPEY DIAL-UP my connection can drop but I can retrieve an unsubmitted post by pasting it into a text editor, connecting again, then pasting it back in.
Oh dear Jo I bet you felt like socking him one at times. You sure adopted a sense of humour about it, other wise it would just get too much. As I say, sometimes if you cant laugh you'd surely cry. Yes indeed they can get cunning and childlike. Perhaps the sad thing about this is that my Mum has "been there done that too" She saw it all in her nursing years, and has gone through various stages of recent times reflecting on all this. I know God is in control, and I am so grateful He is the Judge.
"He never did it again because he knew I meant it. "
Jo this is the thing, we keep telling Mum things and shes either totolly forgetting or just plain out not taking any notice. Did your Dad totally lose his memory? This is really scary stuff.
BTW....Musical....better "locked" up than lost or hurt. My Dad couldn't walk the last two years when the dementia was the worst so it was not an issue with him. By the time he would have gotten to the door in his wheel chair someone would have stopped him.
Well yesterday she "signed herself out" . I see where this is heading. I feel like its only a matter of time that something disastrous happens unless the Lord steps in. I DONT like how youve continually got to fight the system. You were SO fortunate that your Dad was chair bound. My Mum sure can scarper! Never mind the fact she's got 2 "bionic" knees that were past their use by date much more than a decade ago!!. She rightly attributes this to the graciousness of God.
Rocket, hurting feet????? awwwww no not you too! Please tell me its not the dreaded peripheral neuropathy. I'm hoping its just tiredness from over-working with your shift or something. This dreadful disorder is only preferable to Cancer and ALL its treatments, in one case.....if the Cancer comes back, otherwise its one of the most debilitating things anyone can have. My type has no cure but I live in hope that something will happen. I pray that you will just be able to unwind and bounce back. Hopefully some practicle help will come. Anyway, once those boxes are all in, you can just hopefully cruze your way through them and unpack at your leisure. Yeah I know a mess can climb in on you and drive you crazy but it wont be for ever.
Bless all you Ladies this a.m. and no matter what we all face may God be our continual strength.
Musical.
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Thanks for the prayers Ladies! I just saw my PS for a postop and she said everything looks great AND I do have to agree with her. I don't have to see her for 2 months when we'll discuss nipple reconstruction vs tattoo.
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Glad to hear of your good report dechi! It's been a year since my surgery and I just saw the doctor. He mentions that he wants reconstruction for me but now doesn't give any indication as to when that may be possible. I am hoping to have my other breast removed and reconstructed at that time as well. He doesn't want me to have the other removed but I have 4 lumps they have tagged to keep a check on so I told him I feel like it's just a time bomb. So, we will see......eventually, Lord willing.
Jo5 and Musical Reading your posts I am reminded of when my grandmother moved in with my parents. She often thought my dad was her husband which made my mom "the other woman". Oh my.....just thinking about how she would think she needed to go find her kids who were lost in the wood around my parents and trying to convince her otherwise. We had to watch for her as she would want to go looking for them or go "home" because she thought her parents were worrying about her being gone so long. It is so true about arguing or trying to convince them of anything. I would seem to increase her anxiety.
Since then I saw an interview with a man and I wish I could find his name. He and his daughters wrote a book about how they learned to deal with their wife/mother. He said when things got really bad she would often agree to go for an ice cream because she loved ice cream. When he would pull into the driveway coming home there were times that she would say....why are you taking me here I want to go home, etc. He learned to not explain that they were home but to say something like....oh yes and we are but you would love to see what is inside here first. If that didn't work he would say alright and drive here around the block once more and by then she would have forgotten that she thought it wasn't home. Or like when they ask for someone who has died, he would just say that they are resting or something like that.
I can't imagine the mixed emotions and stress that go along with it as a caregiver. My prayers are continually with you Musical. Other than that how are you doing?
Jo5 I'll be praying for you in your search for a church home as well as Rocket. I think I've told ya'll how I am so excited about where we are. We drive an hour to get there. Where I live there is a church on every corner but they seem so much like what you were speaking of JO. It saddens me to see the state many of our churches in America have gotten to. I thought it was simply a rural southern thing but then I hear pastor's like Alistair Begg (from Scotland been a pastor in Cleveland for many years now) and John Macarthur in California and I realized they are different from many churches even in those areas. I heard yesterday that pastors are called to teach God's word and all of it....not simply tell their own stories or choose which topics they feel is revelant.
I am still in Philippians which I listen to online at John Macarthur's church and now also in Amos which I listen to from Alistair Begg which is at www.truthforlife.com or org. They both teach verse by verse through a book at a time and have all the historical, greek and hebrew knowledge. I have never been able to learn like I have been. I never thought about the book of Amos but as Begg was teaching he so often showed how Paul must have been thinking of it when he penned Romans 1 and 2.
Musical....how are the churches there in New Zealand? I have been very curious about that.
Rocket, I will be praying for your feet. Is the pain from hormonal therapy? I was hobbling around for about 45 minutes each morning in horrible pain but it is improving. I still have pain in my right thumb and wrist which is pretty severe at times but I've began wearing a wrist band for carpal tunnel and it has helped tremendously.
So, just to recap here prayers for Jo5 and Rocket - church home, Musical and Rocket- moms and pain
Kindergarten - grandbaby getting closer still or has the baby arrived?
Tonlee - are you back home yet?
Mini, learnin, and Macatacmv - any way that I can pray for you all?
I'm afraid if I look back I will lose what I've written.....I know I'm forgetting someone...Anyway, if I can pray for anyone please let me know and you can always private message me also.
Love you all and so thankful to be able to share here!
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Hi, Fondak and all the lovely ladies here. Yes, Our Lord has blessed us with a new granddaughter, Lily Rose. She was born on Sunday, and we were so privledged and blessed to be able to witness Our daughter in law's labor and delivery at a hospital that practices Family Birthing. it was so awesome!!! Thank you for asking, and please know I pray for you all daily!!!
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Hi Ladies,
Kathy, huge congratulations on your new granddaughter. I just love her name, Lily Rose. What a special experience to witness her birth. I know you are basking in the glow right now. So wonderful!
Ladies, thank you so much for the prayers! My feet have hurt since I was put on Arimidex, but also from bunions on both the big toes and my pinky toes (also known as Tailor bunions). Additionally I have plantar fasciitis. I believe the arches in my feet, which used to be pretty high, are collapsing. The pain is becoming quite frustrating because I like to do things and this limits me. I'm supposed to be having another foot surgery in December for my right foot this time, but I'm concerned about being laid up that long, so I'm having second thoughts.
As for Mom, I called the facility near my new home and they have put her on a waiting list for a room. Please pray that one opens up quickly, because in order to guarantee her a room, she would need to pay privately for one month, $6,000, and then go on Medicaid thereafter. The reason that this would guarantee her a room is that the facility will always accept a private pay patient over a Medicaid patient because they get more money. I did check, and the facility does accept the "intermediate care facility" designation as long-term care, so she would qualify for Medicaid to pay for it when her own funds are gone. If we can't find a room quickly enough, Mom won't have enough money left to pay privately, and then the assisted living facility where she currently lives would refer her to a nursing home that is far inferior and 4 1/2 hours from my current home when her funds are depleted. It is extremely stressful to handle the affairs of a parent while simultaneously handling your own issues. I am so fatigued over the events of the last two years, bc dx, son's wedding, bi-lateral mx, chemo, arimidex, rads, putting mom into assisted living and four additional various surgeries - in that order, I feel like I may never recover my stamina. Now you can see why I'm dreading another surgery. I confess that at times I really envy healthy people, and I get frustrated when I see people that abuse their bodies and seem to suffer no consequences (not that I would ever want harm to come to them, but rather it just doesn't make sense to me). Sorry, I don't mean to whine, I'm just very overtired and need rest for my weary body and soul. I know you all understand how that feels.
As for church, we attended one this past Sunday. It had only 30 people, but we were told before we went that it was larger, around 80 people. The message was good, but the pastor seemed discouraged or rather defeated about the fact that this town is quite liberal, as are most college towns. His church has also recently experienced a church split over minor things like singing hymns vs. worship songs. Maybe that's why their attendance is so low. It's so sad to see the Body of Believers dividing over such trivial things. Needless to say, we will be looking at another church. There is only one more in this town that we will consider and supposedly it's a very large 1,500 member church. That's a little big for my liking, but we will go with an open mind and see what the Lord has to show us.
Thank you all again for your love, support, advice and most importantly prayers. You are all such a blessing in my life and I look forward to a little free time each day to indulge in fellowship here on BCO. I continue to pray for you as well and your various needs.
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Dear Rocket, Thank you for your well wishes. I am lifting you up in prayer right now. I also have bunions on both feet. I really don't want the surgery, but we shall see. You have alot on your plate right now, but I know your strong faith will sustain you, just knowing how much you are loved by Our Lord, your family and friends. I hope you also find a church, where you feel spiritually uplifted. God bless you, Kathy
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Rocket - Don't dismiss a large church just on size. There are advantages. Also, just an FYI, we attend a church that is up to about 350 from about 100 or so. Because our sanctuary is small, it was necessary for us to go to 2 services some tme ago. Needless to say, some people (mostly the frozen chosen
) didn't like the idea. They didn't like change, they thought thngs were fine as they were, thought it would mean that they wouldn't know everyone, people would feel left out etc. To address those concerns our board had someone come in and explain a number of things to the congregation.The biggest thing was the circle of friends. Research shows that you have a certain amount of people that you know well - I don't remember the exact #, but for our purposes lets say 30. You then have another group that you are aquaintances with rather than friends, say another 30, then you have another 20-30 that you don't know but recognize as going to the church that are on the periphery (none of these are the actual numbers, but the meaning remains the same). Research shows that those numbers will not change whether it is a church of 100 or 10,000. The difference is it "feels" like has because the number of unknown people is greater, but in fact, your circle of friends, aquaintances and those on your outer radar will remain relatively the same no matter the size.
I have attended 2 wonderful churches. Our one now and one that was about 1800 when we left and is up to about 2500 now. Both were great churches. Both had good outreach, great small groups, good kids programs, etc. For us it was actually harder to go to a small church. Our former church had more people in the choir than our whole church had at the time we joined. But God had a plan for us to be where we are. I wouldn't trade my experience with either of them.
Kindergarten - Congrats! Lily Rose is a beautiful name. Aren't grandbabies the greatest. I have a 2 year old and 3 week old twins. :-))) Best medicine in the world!
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I can remember sitting in some churches when we were looking thinking they should be giving us money for being here, not vice-versa. lol It is definitely the message and the service. There are enough social clubs to belong to. I started out as our church secretary before becoming a member. What sold me was the people that I saw on the pulpit on the Sundays we visited were the same ones that came to work during the week. It wasn't a play they did every Sunday. They walked their talk. :-) Sadly that is often not the case.0
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Which is pretty much why we left our former church.Our former pastor retired and the new one was all about pretending we weren't a church. He was anti-cross too. I always thought, really, you think that people are stumbling in here by mistake because they didn't see a cross? I'm all for changing with the culture. We're not worshipping the way they did in Corinth, or even in the 1950's and 60's. I like contemporary worship, but respect the traditional as well. The method changes, but not the message. And that message includes sin. You don't have to be all in your face about it, but it is what it is.
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OK guys I JUST DELETED my post too ... Fortunately I had 1/2 of it in word pad but my mistake was to carry on adding to it after I pasted it in. (Duh) It is GONE in cyber land. It happened Fondak when I hit a key accidentally somewhere up on the top left part of keyboard. Im going to figure out which it was. Grrrrrr. Well I forgot that my connection dropped which still doesnt explain that my page just went back to the main Page of BC Forum. I couldnt retrigger what I did. Anyway I fiddled around with the FORward button this time and YES I got my post back!!! . WHEN WILL I LEARN to do all of my post in text editor 1st ???
PS theres a whole heap of posts I havent read yet but I'l post this before I read them.
Anyway heres my post..............................
Jo and Fondak, Thanks for your comments, and for your prayers, which are always appreciated.
I had typed some of this into word pad last night and suddenly I felt very unwell. Didnt know if I was going to be sick or what. It was bedtime anyway so off I went. It took a good hour to get to sleep and I awoke at 3.30 a.m. (yet again) Didnt get back to sleep so up at 4.30 a.m. and feel OK ATM. So, was it too much coffee???something I ate? Arimidex? or the toxic smell we smelled out our door last night. Mt Tongariro doing its thing after sleeping for a 100 odd yrs. As the crow flies we are not that far away from it. A volcanic eruption, just what I DONT NEED. LOL. Its a roll of the dice as to whether it will do another blast.
"he edited the past to suit himself! ha"
Jo LOL LOL I like that.I think youre both right about the arguing thing. The Scripture says "come let us reason together" and I will certainly put forth reasons for things in the right environment..... BUT!.... An apt saying goes like this, a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. I not only apply this to my Mum but anyone I can see is just wanting to have an apponent about something or is just plain out obdurate or unteachable in their view for whatever reason. SO, when someone digs their toes in just because they can, to me, that is a totally pointless waste of time and its not long before I vacate. Why waste your energy? I find thats the best way to defuse refractory argumentative moods. LOL they soon realise its no good arguing with the wall paper....or something....
Oh, I can see Jo some of the same pointers in your Dad and what he was doing to whats happening or going to happen to my Mum. You can see things "heading in that direction". From a Christian standpoint I'm trying to work things through according to God's word and the bottom line is I feel dementia has become the rule rather than the exception. I am pondering on reasons for this, but it goes into some very meaty subjects indeed.
The thing is too, I dont think I can get the staff to stop her from signing herself out. She HAS to be reassessed and thats the rub. Stoopid system. If thats not enough, theres also other "obstacles" in the way stopping me from acting how I would like, like other family members. Sometimes one has to tread carefully and that can hold things up. Very complicated.
An ID of some description is a good idea.... and someone mentioned about taking a photo to the cops in case she gets lost, which is a good idea, as is your suggestion....until she rips it off or forgets to put it on, like hearing aids, and a safety alarm thingee she was supposed to use in case she had a fall. We've had NO end of trouble with theses 2 things. I know hearing aids can be a real drag, even the expensive ones.
Fondak loved what you said too about your grandmother and the interview you saw. That seems so typical about what we'are facing. I started to just let some of these things go because its so much a waste of time fighting against it. As if we havent got enough to fight against already. Oh and thankyou for your kind considerate query. I am OK spiritually (LOL apart from the usual 'growing pains') Physically I simply consider myself in full time employment without pay. Employed in fighting the whole BC thing. I find it is ridiculous to tell someone to "get their mind off Cancer" when theyve got to fight DAILY against LE. DAILY against PN (peripheral neuropathy) take a little white pill DAILY et al. Not moaning, but how can one forget? Its not just a life changing event at the time, but as long as we live on this earth. However, God has allowed this to happen and we can understand that for good where others will never "get it" unless they are born again of the Spirit of God. I would sooner go into heaven minus a foot than go to hell with all my full offending "features".
"Musical....how are the churches there in New Zealand? I have been very curious about that. "
"It saddens me to see the state many of our churches in America have gotten to. "
I believe this is happening everywhere. To answer your question properly and do it justice would require more than a pat answer I'm afraid. The short answer, you have correctly stated here I believe.....
"I heard yesterday that pastors are called to teach God's word and all of it....not simply tell their own stories or choose which topics they feel is revelant."
For a long time there have and still are many things I have been deeply troubled about and pondered about with the whole scenario of Gods church. Heres just one concept... no where in the Bible is the phrase "go to church" used. What we think is "church" is in fact so far removed from what the Bible (NT) says that someones moved the goalposts and it sure aint God. I dont claim to have all the answers but I sure have some answers that count! BOY DO I SURE SMELL A RAT! and that rat is spoken about in Scripture.... if only people heeded what you said above, our problems would be largely over, but that is a forlorn hope as the fact is Fondak the word indicates very plainly in a number of places that it (the word) would be maligned in many ways, for example, there will come a day when "they will not endure sound doctrine". Moreover it is all part and parcel of what is on the prophetic calendar.
Now If I get started on what exactly is sound doctrine it WILL turn into a study. Consider the very 1st thing that came out of satans toxic mouth..."yeah hath God said" calling into question right from the start whether God siad something or not, thereby putting doubt into people whether God said it and if people dont read Gods word then how can we heed what Hes said.. Pretty simple, but man has to go and complicate things by doing things like slapping his own interpretation on it, thereby causing confusion. It stands to reason, then, that the very 1st thing satan would attack is Gods word, not just initially, but on an ongoing basis right through history.
I believe and I think Ive said it before, that there will come a time where God will no longer wink at what He winked at before. Things that you overlooked before will become crucial in times to come to get it right. For example, instead of teachers exhorting people to CHOOSE the fear of God (which is the beginning of wisdom) we have happy clappy crowds in the feel good club, highly dependant week by week on what buzz they can get out of it. I see a lot of me me me I -I -I , which is only indicative of the end times apostacy anyway. When everything is boiled down, it comes down to this....how much 'self' is on the throne. Its never been any different and it never will, except that the gap between selflessness and selfishness is getting wider and wider. IN other words true Christ-likeness is getting more and more foreign in a world steeped in selfishness. Start talking about dealing with the self life and you are guarunteed to lose brownie points but I was never into point scoring anywayz. Telling the truth always did get me into trouble and I guess that will never change LOL. So, Jo it doesnt surprise me that you hardly if ever hear about sin or a decent stirring message on it. These words have been watered down and subverted to mean less than they actually are. They are dished up in more "acceptable, non offensive" terms. Instead of "sin" we have "shortcomings" which doesnt have the same sting does it.
Rocket, , I have plantiar F in my left foot and it can really hurt. I had an insert made from a proper mould taken, which supports my arch. I remember years ago I broke the 5th metatarcel (SP?) in my left foot and since being on the A team, thats where theres considerable pain if I put too much pressure on my foot. The other day I jumped out of my brother van which is quite high up and landed on my L foot. I just about had a nasty fall as it really hurt. I wont do that again. Fondak, I find my thumbs and fingers and feet ache too, but once I move them for a bit they get better.
Rocket, praying for your situ with your Mum. Lord I really ask that you will take care of all these details for Rocket. They are indeed major stress territory, we keep lifting her up in prayer that things will fall into place. You know every hair on our heads Lord, and you know every need we have. We ask all of us, that you give her the strength necessary to cope with that which you want her to do. There is nothing impossible for you dear Lord. We give thanks in all things. Amen!
Bless all you Ladies.
Musical
Edited to put in some bold I forgot :-)
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Hello everyone, I thank you for your prayers. I have been discouraged lately. I saw my MO last week. She mentioned that what might be affecting my lungs is something called BOOP. But i have not been able to get in touch with the Pulmonary spec. to see if he thinks that might be a possibility and why he never mentioned it. I waited all day yesterday for him to call me back before he left on vacation for 2 weeks, and he didn't. I am changing my insurance and am going to start with a new PCP who I hope can refer me to a new specialist. My MO said I need to really take it easy and not stress my body since my BP is so erractic. So no water aerobics, I have been taking it really easy. I have not been to church or bible study just hanging at home in the air conditioning.
I have been through the caring for elderly parents. It is very tough. I just lost both of them in the last 3 years. Since I was the only daughter left and we lived in the same town. Their care came down to me, but I am very grateful for all the time we had together and there are very few regrets. Mom lived to 91 and Dad 93. So I pray for you that are going through it now.
Congrats on the new baby grand!!!!!!
I pray daily for you all.
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macatacmv, WOW 91 and 93! Grand old age and thats great you had few regrets, but to lose them inside 3 years would be tough. My Mums Sister just passed on Monday and she was 91.
Dont know what POOP is. I hope you are OK and that God will give you a good rest up period. Lord I also pray you would encourage my sister, that you will especially bless her even as she thinks on your word. Amen! Thankyou macatacmv for your prayers.
Musical
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Hi Ladies,
Musical, you made me laugh out loud. You accidentally misspelled BOOP and typed POOP. I think we all know what POOP is. :-) LOL! Lately I've had some digestive issues and I'm very familiar with POOP! On a serious note however, here is what the Mayo Clinic has to say about BOOP: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bronchiolitis-obliterans/AN00307. Radiation to the chest or chemotherapy can cause it. People can recover from it when given steroid treatment. Macatacmy, I pray you can get to see a specialist soon.
Mini, Musical and Jo, thanks for your advice and experience regarding church shopping. We usually look for a church where we can use our gifts and talents that the Lord has provided, but honestly I have been so weary I need a church where I can have some time to recover. The large church is looking promising, but the preaching is a very important aspect, so we will see. I have been fortunate that in my former church sin was recognized as sin, but the grace of God and the Gospel were preached routinely. I do think a lot of pastors today have watered down theology, maybe from lack of schooling. I also think it's hard to find spiritual leaders that acknowledge the Holy Spirit's leading. They worry more about pleasing the congregation than preaching the Word as it is revealed to them as an instrument of God. Musical, I too have pondered our modern-day church service and whether or not it resembles the gathering of the NT brethren. I doubt that they would look similar.
Well Sisters you have all encouraged me with your stimulating conversations as usual. I love you ladies and am so grateful for your prayers.0
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