Calling all TNs
Comments
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Inmate - friggin amen to lovelyface's observations. The one thing that both utterly confounds me yet gives me comfort in a weird way, is the randomness of tnbc... I wish I was with you, because I would hug you and pour our some martinis (ok at lease ME) and plan the arsekicking plan ahead. Stay strong.
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Susan was an amazing, intelligent, resourceful woman who led the way with information, treatment options and some great advice. She helped me be a better advocate for myself. My thoughts go out to her family, husband, children, mom who was there helping her all the way, her father and sister and to all her friends and all of us sisters who stand here and fight for our lives.
I met Susan for lunch one day and she was so positive and practical. She was a wealth of knowledge and shared such wonderful stories about her family and children. She was as up to date on any research as any doctor I have met and was so giving of her support and love. I can only say that she and Laura were so helpful to me as I have gone through this journey.
Yes I love the image of them driving in Suze's car with their great high heels going out to shop, garden, watch cooking shows, teach their children all kinds of practical things and share their warmth, love and kindness with us, as well as have a delicious drink and a great dessert.
The world has lost 2 beautiful amazing women. The tears won't stop. This is so sad for us all I can't imagine how their families are dealing with this. I know though that they are no longer in pain and I am at least thankful for that.I think of them as walking into the light.
Dear sisters we will miss you but you will always be with us.
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Inmate - f**k - I am so sorry this is happening. You will get through this!!!
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Innmate..kick this thing as far as you can. We are here for you. Hugs and strong healing vibes.
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Inmate - I echo what everyone else has said so well. Sending you comfort and strength for the next few days and all the days ahead.
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FC, FC, FC, FC, FC, I don't seem to be able to say anything else lately. I feel like I am on a roller coaster that won't let me off. Every little bit of good news I hope for just does not happen . I hate FC and everything about it including F chemo, F tiredness, F everything and F bad news.
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Actually, I hope MBJ *isn't* reading in here at the moment. I can't bear the thought of these last few days impact on her. Hopefully, she is resting comfortably somewhere and gaining strength. She'll need it when she reads these posts.
F*ck cancer.
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You are so right, Heidi - since MBJ is just beginning to get some strength back, I'd hope for it to continue.
Inmate: You have so many prayers and so much love from all of us - we will hold you up while you go through this freaking horrible time. There is much strength in numbers, and babe, you got us all.
Linda
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Wow, I'm absolutely speechless. My DH took one look at my face and asked me if I wanted to go have a drink. Yes I do and I will raise my glass to two incredible women who left this earth, their friends and their families much too soon. Love you both. God speed.
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Inmate, I'm holding your hand...0
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Inmate, What area did they biopsy?
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mitmuffin....they did a plug biopsy of the rash/raised portion on my left chest. the rash is very near the last biopsy done in november. the "thickening" i mentioned before feels like my actual ribs have stiffened/thickened. i† almost feels like a breast plate and now i swear the area above my collar bone looks swollen. can it all happen so fast? i just noticed the rash less than 3 weeks ago and the stiff ribs last week and the swollen collar bone today. can stress make you swell? if that's the case i should be round as a ball by now.0
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Heiditoo and Linda......you are so right. i did not think about MBJ and her feelings when I posted my update. in fact, i didn't consider any one's emotions on this very difficult day. i am so sorry. Susan and Laurajane were so good at keeping advice and updates on their own journies upbeat and hopeful. i miss that very much right now! Once I let this all soak in I will strive to more helpful and hopeful. just not today.
now i will try to sleep.
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Inmate don't feel bad about venting your feelings. It's good to get it out and not keep it bottled up. You were going through your own private devastating hell and was freaking out, scared and probably lonely because nobody really knows how you feel we can only imagine and thats bad enough. You did what you needed to do and Laurajane and Susan would agree if they were here. All of the positives in the world don't help much if we are scared. We can't always be upbeat and hopeful, would be nice if we could then we probably wouldn't need this forum because we could cope. Everyone is different and the nice thing about here is we can all be ourselves and not feel as if we are letting anyone down. You are always helpful to me and I value whatever help you can give me. Two lovely ladies dying and another going through her own devasting symptoms makes for a bad week. Everyone on here understands. We all just feel so helpless that we cannot do anthing for you but we will be there for you just as you have been for us. It's a shit life at times. Wishing you a peaceful nights sleep. Hugs and love Annie
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Inmate - Please don't even think about not updating us, even on the worst day here. We just don't want you or anyone else to think they can't talk, no matter what is going on. Each and everyone of our cases is important, on every single day. Please don't ever think that you disturbed anyone by your update, absolutely not. I think what Heidi meant was the two deaths that have occurred, might be too much for MBJ to take. She did not mean your update. In fact we forgot to ask you for your results, as we got so engrossed by the bad news, one after another. I think we are all mourning so badly right now as we are all in shock and have so much fear for our own selves.
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We have seen Laurajane's photo on the facebook pic someone posted here. It was so nice to put a face to a wonderful personality. Does anyone have a similar picture of our Suze? I would love to see her. Thanks.
Painting - I am so glad you got a chance to meet Suze. I wonder, did Suze an LJ became friends on this board? Did they know each other before this? What an incredible story, I am sure they had some sort of destiny together which was fulfilled at their recent deaths and witnessed by us all.
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inmate-even laurajane and susan had their freak out days. you have an amazing personality and please just continue to say how you feel! You are always helpful. And please know I am basically down the street from you, if you need anything! Things are slowing down a bit with my classes as I only have a couple of weeks left and no major finals-yipee-only papers. I have radiation every day at 10:15 so if you are ever at swedish around that time just stop on in! I got a pm from blondelawyer and it sounds like she has some very fun sunny trips planned with her friends, I am excited for her.
I agree lovelyface, did you see lj's work facebook page? It showed more of her amazing work.
I can't seem to stay away from the boards right now. I know we are all hurting. I hope they knew how much they were loved and appreciated. Just like I appreciate everyone of you! Titan, you started such a great thing with this triple neg thread! It's like a cyber home with all our sisters. I know, I am feeling a bit clingy right now.
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Inmate - thinking of you. You are such a strong lady.
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Inmate up early and thinking of you. Don't apologize...you ned to be free to tell us what is happening. Your worries are our worries.
I never had a picture of Susan but she was a young petite beautiful small short haired ( aren't we all) vivacious woman with a strong but playful voice,who was ready to tackle anything. Even last summer before she had a stage 4 diagnosis, she was making books of memories and pictures for her children. She had a very practical side to her that said hope for the best but prepare for the worst. When I met her one day she had gotten all her legal paperwork, last wishes and life insurance policies in order. I started crying and she was upset she upset me. I just was amazed that she could do all those things so that her husband would not have to worry about any of unfinished details. So thoughtful and considerate of everyone.
Plus she liked cheesecake!
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Paintingmywaythru - thanks so much for "painting" a picture in our minds of Suze. I will never forget how she helped my family navigate our way in Boston last summer. She gave me lists of all the highlights and her favourite places including what restaurants we should visit. We had the pizza ever. She will surely be missed.
Heidi's right....it's probably for the best that MBJ hasn't been on the past couple of days as she will need her strength for the recent news. I hope she's getting stronger and stronger every day. I think of her often.
Inmate ((((((hugs)))))))
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Thanks for sharing that look into Susan's personality, Painting. I really appreciate it. Inmate, please keep posting how you are doing. We care about you and wnat you to find comfort here. To any newbies that have posted or may be lurking, please come here often. Our little TN corner of BCO has taken a terrible loss over the past few days....and we are hurting and helping each other to heal. So, don't be afraid to join us. You will find information, compassion and strength for your BC journey from all of the gals here.
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I feel better today. I had to get it out yesterday. I could not help but go there with my own fears yesterday. I haven't had a meltdown like that in awhile.
I too hope MBJ isn't reading these post it would only bring her down. I pray that she can continue to get her strength back and just be at peace.
Inmate we are here for you. I am praying that it is only local. Hopefully your Docs can get a game plan going quickly and get you into treatment. To help keep progression at bay.
This living in fear SUCKS ladies, it just SUCKS!
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Inmate, I'm thinking of you as you go through your scan this morning. We all know how scary scans are, and you will probably have to wait for results, which is terribly hard. I hope someone goes with you to the scan.0
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Inmate:
OMG, Heidi and never meant to imply, and I'm so sorry that you read it that way, that you shouldn't have posted. Dear God, never, never - we just meant with everyone asking about Mary and wondering how she was, that we were kind of glad that she wasn't here in the middle of all the sadness with Suze and LJ, while just beginning to get some of her own strength back with the Tamoxifen.
Never feel you can't (or anyone else) can't post the good, the bady or the ugly at any time. That is why we are all here still thriving and still coming back, for the shared support and wisdom and that extra set of arms to hold us up when needed.
As Mity said - I too wish you the best today. We are all here for 24/7 - and always will be.
Hugs,
Linda
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Inmate - Please don't stop posting, and don't curb anything you want to say. Just as everyone else has said we are here for you. The only thing you have to strive to do is kick this F**KIN C's A**!!!!
Sending you lots of prayers and positive vibes, your going to get thru this!!
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Inmate, we love you and are hoping it is localized.
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Inmate: Thinking of you today, and hoping for the best. Always love reading your posts.
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LJ's daughter contacted me via facebook and I will be posting further info on her passing. I will also be contacting the children's museum today about a memorial bench. Others from facebook are going to request the garden be renamed in her honor.
I'm headed off for a mammo now. Needless to say, I'm a bit more nervous than usual after all this recent upsetment in here. I'm sure everything will be fine though, just my somewhat superstitious nature tickling my conscience.
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Inmate- ALWAYS post what you are feeling! That's what we are here for; to support as best we can in this somewhat limited online venue.
In fact, being somewhat obtuse at times, I didn't even *think* about the impact of your posts on MBJ until I saw LRM's post with my name in it.
I was referring to the recent deaths, and how emotionally devastating they could potentially be to MBJ.
Gotta run... time to get the old boobs crushed.
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Heidi, Thank you for checking into the memorial bench and good luck at your mammo.
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