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  • borntosurvive
    borntosurvive Member Posts: 194
    edited August 2012
    Thanks Navy Mom:  I don't have implants or anything so I don't have to worry about rupture etc.  Also I live in Canada so tests are all covered and I don't pay anything.  I will see how the mammo goes, I am thinking they may just do an ultrasound or both.  It's just a yearly follow up thing so I will keep you posted on what happens.  It's not until November but I was just thinking that I don't see many ppl here talking about mammo post BMX. 
  • Hope60
    Hope60 Member Posts: 150
    edited August 2012

    Hi ladies - thank you all so much for your resonses and warm wishes.  I can't tell you how much it means to me to know I'm not alone in this.

    Bak- congrats on the clean scans!!!

  • Babs37
    Babs37 Member Posts: 320
    edited August 2012

    born- I had right mx and since had 2 mammos on my left boob only. I get an mri once a year to check the other side.

  • browerl
    browerl Member Posts: 77
    edited August 2012

    I am sitting in my comfy recliner getting my weed kill for the 3rd time finally, I can at least say I am half way done with chemo!

  • BernieEllen
    BernieEllen Member Posts: 2,285
    edited August 2012

    It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class. The teacher told the class that each student could tell the class 1 thing they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she got. "My daddy got me a Bow-Wow," she said. The teacher tells the class that they are old enough to know the correct words for things without using nicknames. The teacher tells the girl to try again. The girl thinks real hard ........ "My dad got me a dog," she said. She sat down and a boy got up and said, "I got a choo-choo!" The teacher scolded him and told him to try again. The boy thought hard and said, "I got an electric train!!" That boy sits down and a really shy kid gets up and sadly says, "I got a book" The teacher feels bad for the kid and she asks, "What was the title of the book??" The boy thinks very hard. The class waits as the boy is thinking. Finally, the boys face brightened and he said, "Winnie The Sh*t!!

  • Mumtobe
    Mumtobe Member Posts: 82
    edited August 2012

    Hi Ladies,

    I have a question. Going in for my 4th neoadjuvent AC treatment tomorrow but since last night I have noticed a slight swelling (not a lump) in the curve of my armpit. This part of the armpit is slightly more enlarged anyway (I felt my other armpit and my husbands to be sure) but its a little tender aswell. The swelling itself isn't tender, it's my skin but it feels like it's chaffed against my bra/clothes (which are constantly feeling too small due to my ever expanding baby bump). I'm absolutely going to get doctor to check it tomorrow but I'm wondering has anybody else had this?

    C x

  • Lovelyface
    Lovelyface Member Posts: 563
    edited August 2012

    Hope, babyheart, sweetie, we were the same - diagnosed around the same time, with similar diagnosis and I think I have already said this before.  We are the same stage IIA, mine was grade 2, yours was 3, I was diagnosed in July and you in June of 2010.  My tumor was larger than yours.  Yours was a very mild diagnosis compared to many others, so how is this possible?  I just feel like pulling all my hairs out of my head and screaming. And it has been 2 years after your first diagnosis, I would like to think that you and I and many others would be out of danger by now.  I know they say 5 years.  My Oncologist had told me that the mark when it comes back is at 1 year 9 months, so when I passed that, I was thrilled.

    Well, ladies, there is no rhyme or reason to this horrible monster.  But we will get it some day.  We may not be here, but one fine day, this disease will become history on the face of the earth.

    I, on the other hand, am in a dark place.  I am not sure if any one of you have ever taken this route.  I have tried to put a huge mental block in my mind as regards this disease.  I am in a stage, where I don't want to go for any tests, don't want to hear about it, don't check myself....... this is really bad.  I need to shake myself out of this mode.  I have begun to think that if it comes back and is there.... let it grow or whatever, and then I will die from it.  I think I had heard of people not wanting to face reality, and I think that is what is happening to me.  I have been feeling a tiny something in my left breast, and I am just letting it go for now. It has been there for sometime, but I continue to just wait.  Not sure what I am waiting for.  I am not sure what has happened to me psychologically, but I have become numb, just can't deal with it. It is just too much to handle, so this is the way I am handling it, by letting it go, not facing it.

    This disease sure is a monster who has invaded all our lives to a great extent.

    Ladies, let's each work on our issues today. We all have plenty to deal with. If it is not the recurrence, or the spread, then it is the mental or psychological issues we have to deal with.

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 1,442
    edited August 2012

    lovely... please, however hard it is, go get yourself checked out... just for peace of mind.   Sending biggest hugs your way and to every lady that needs a hug, feel my arms around you all.  Fuck this cancer !

  • kathyrnn
    kathyrnn Member Posts: 366
    edited August 2012

    Hope - I do have a question for you, and I'm asking it because I want to know how proactive we have to be with our doctors. I went back in the thread to check when your initial symptoms started, which was July 11th.

    WTF rationelle did they use to wait almost 6 weeks before giving you a PET Scan? It would seem to me , that as soon as they discovered the brain mets, they should have done one immediately!



    Lovely, I know you've been through a lot, but "the head in sand approach" doesn't work well with this disease. Maybe it's time to discuss your feelings with a therapist? (i'm thinking about it for myself too) (Hug)

  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 626
    edited August 2012

    I've been off for a couple of days, so much news to catch up on. 

    First the bad (and ugly): Dearest Hope, I am so sorry for what you're facing. Your name captures everything we are feeling for you. As nightmarish as things must seem right now, we're all here for you... and looking forward to that combo kicking FC's butt. 

    Now the good: Bak, what a relief. So happy for you.

    So true that we need each other through the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, the thick and thin. Who else in the the world really gets what we go through?    

  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 652
    edited October 2012

    Oh Lovely, I thnk that all the time. I just want to forget all the tests and move on, and what will be will be. Just live until some horrible symptom shows up that you can't ignore. So my doc called me today and said my tumor markers are good, they are at 34. He just left a message, as I missed the call. Well, even though that number is just under the normal range of 38, my markers are moving in an upward direction:(   They were high when first diagnosed and went something llike this-59,61,58, all before chemo and then after chemo 58, 38, 34, 32, 29, 31 and now back to 34 ( i think that is what they were, going from memory, not my report). So they hit a low and started creeping back up! I was thinking of calling the doc back but I am sure he would say it is still in normal level so don't worry yet. Uggh, it is always something, plus they are still trying to get my insurance to pay for a bone scan.

    Also, Lovely, I wonder if the scans or docs sometimes miss something. In my case my tumor was not huge, something like 2.5 cm and I had no positive auxillary nodes, but further testing, like the pet/ct and chest mri revealed positive internal mammary nodes. If further testing had not been done, I would have been a stage 2, not 3c or 4, and I would not have gotten the appropriate treatment. I have read reports where they think that some of the early recurrences are because spread to the mammary nodes was missed, and therefore not addressed. So I do think scanning with what seems to be early disease is so important, as it might be furhter along than thought. I know there is much debate about this and many early stage do not get all the scans.

    Not sure how we can start a list, any ideas? People could pm me the info and I could make a private list but I don't know how to share it other than sending an email to someone! I dont like my screen name here to be introduced to facebook because I don't want them to find me here and read some of my rants that are for my bc friends only! I am sure most of you feel the same way so we could address each other by are real names on facebook:) Let me know you ideas!

  • kathyrnn
    kathyrnn Member Posts: 366
    edited August 2012

    BAK - now I'm completely confused about staging. I had 2 tumors , the second deeper one was an internal mammary node, but they fluffed it off like it wasn't important.



    I'm in , I'll PM you my info. Where is the group on FB? Will take me a while to learn your real names. My chemo addled brain can only handle one nene per person, lol

  • browerl
    browerl Member Posts: 77
    edited August 2012

    Did anyone else watch and cry like a baby with Robin Roberts good by show on GMA today?  I was in the chemo chair getting my 3rd treatment and just cried like a baby.  I told the nurse I was fine I was not crying for me this time just Robin.  She is so strong and open about what is going on with her cancer, what an inspiration for everyone.

  • TifJ
    TifJ Member Posts: 804
    edited August 2012

    Good afternoon ladies. It was 2 years ago today that I received the phone call we have all had.."Yes, you have cancer". Today, I am doing well, working and enjoying life, but there will always be that dark cloud, called "what if" hanging out behind me. Everyone keeps telling me to put it behind me, only you ladies understand that that is impossible.

    I work in a special education classroom and the ladies i work with made today so special. I received a dozen roses, Dove chocolates and coupons for a bag of chocolate every month for the rest of the school year!! I treated them all to lunch as a thank you!

    Happy 2nd Anniversary to Fighter, my diagnosis buddy!!

  • borntosurvive
    borntosurvive Member Posts: 194
    edited August 2012

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TIFJ!!!!!!  And what an amazing bunch of ladies.  They're so thoughtful. 

  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 2,409
    edited August 2012

    Congratulations, TIFJ!!!!  And I agree - that was a lovely thing your co-workers did for you today!

    (((Hope))) - wishing you an easy time with this new chemo regime, and sending lots of hope that it does the job for you!

    (((Inmate))) - missing you!

     Hi Kathy!  Has your mom recovered from your junket to Foxwoods? 

    I have been in Atlantic City for a few days. Tomorrow we leave here and head straight to Dana Farber for my 2:30 appointment - it's "Day 1" of my clinical trial.   I am anxious to get going - leaving this beast untreated for any length of time is scary as hell! 

    Sending hugs to everyone and wishing all of us Americans a good holiday weekend!  At least I don't think Labor Day is the same anywhere else Tongue out

  • the5owens
    the5owens Member Posts: 27
    edited August 2012

    First of all I just want to say that CANCER sucks!! Just when I think I am in a good spot with everything it all changes! My emotions are all over the map and today I am angry. I am mad that I have cancer!! I am mad at the world and everyone in it!! I know that sounds stupid and childish but I can't even contain it today! I find myself snapping at my hubby and kids and God knows that this is not their fault. I am not going to ask the stupid question "why me?" because the true question would be WHY ANYONE? Doesn't God know I have 3 kids who need me to be strong and be in their lives?? I am just at the beginning of all of this and haven't even started treatment yet!! I don't feel good today and am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open and once again haven't even had any treatments. And if one more person tells me everything will be alright I might punch them in the face!! I know they mean well but please don't tell me it will be alright when no one knows for sure that I will win this battle! I have retired to my bedroom for the night because I am not fit company for anyone even myself!! I am having a pity party and I feel guilty about that too!! I feel so weak for having these feelings!! So, tomorrow is a new day and I hope I wake up with a better attitude!! God forgive me for being such a brat!! And forgive me because I know there are many on here way worse off than me...but I needed to vent and can't anywhere else or I just get the dreaded "it'll be alright" answer!! FC

  • ksmatthews
    ksmatthews Member Posts: 743
    edited August 2012

    Congratulations Tif and 5 owens (((hugs)))

  • onvacation
    onvacation Member Posts: 521
    edited August 2012

    5owens - vent away!  ((((hugs)))

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 1,442
    edited August 2012

    (((((5owens))))))... pity party ?  I'll bring chocolate.

  • navymom
    navymom Member Posts: 842
    edited August 2012

    YAY Tif---congrats

    5owens--oh the dreaded, but, oh so normal pity party...Put on a party dress cuz I'll bring the wine to go with Tazzy's chocolate.  We get it.  Poor folks on the "outside" just can't.

  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 652
    edited August 2012

    Congrats Tif!!!!!!!! So happy for you, keep it going!

    the5Owens-Oh how we all soooooo understand! There will be better days, I can attest to that! Just go hide in your room and cry your eyes out. That is what is ok, to feel your emotions, don't ignore them. If you want to be pissed, go right ahead! Be angry! This all sucks so much, and it is not right that so many are suffering. I am also going through an angry stage. Not so much angry that I got cancer, but why does anybody get it? Why do we lose so many we love from this dreadful disease? Why do people have to feel like crap? It is just not right:( Sorry to barge in on your vent!

  • borntosurvive
    borntosurvive Member Posts: 194
    edited August 2012

    Luvring:  We have labour day here in Canada :)

    5owens:  Pity party until your hearts content.  We'll all show up with whatever you need, or just sit outside your door for when you're ready for company.  We get it.  I have 2 little boys and they were the bravest kids during my treatment.  They are the best motivators to keep fighting but also the scariest reminders of "what if".  I wish you a good nights sleep and I hope you feel better tomorrow (((((((((((((((hugs!!!!)))))))))))))))))

  • mags20487
    mags20487 Member Posts: 1,092
    edited August 2012

    5owens...believe me darling we get it...vent, rant and have that tantrum girl...get it out.  Once you tx starts you will be in warrior mode.  cyber {{{HUGS}}} to you.  we are here holding you in our arms

    TifJ...2 yrs WOOT WOOT...my doc says 2 is such a magical number for us TN gals...congrats.  Sending a piece of homemade chocolate cake your way!

    Missin my boobies Maggie tonight

  • mags20487
    mags20487 Member Posts: 1,092
    edited August 2012

    5owens...believe me darling we get it...vent, rant and have that tantrum girl...get it out.  Once you tx starts you will be in warrior mode.  cyber {{{HUGS}}} to you.  we are here holding you in our arms

    TifJ...2 yrs WOOT WOOT...my doc says 2 is such a magical number for us TN gals...congrats.  Sending a piece of homemade chocolate cake your way!

    Missin my boobies Maggie tonight

  • mags20487
    mags20487 Member Posts: 1,092
    edited August 2012

    double post ...sorry

  • BernieEllen
    BernieEllen Member Posts: 2,285
    edited August 2012

    Lovely, you have taken the first step by talking here about how you feel.

    Bak, I can set up a facebook group that wiould be private and secret only members on it will be able to use it and see posts.

    I will pm you my email address 

  • Yodie
    Yodie Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2012

    Hi ladies! I'm hoping I'm not #13!!! I was diagnosed with TNBC 3 months after my 50th birthday, 8/11. Happy birthday to me! Had mammograms every year for at least 10 because I had dense breast tissue, which docs years ago referred to as "lumpy breasts". At my annual appointment, 3/11, no lumps. July 2011, I felt the lump, about an inch around. So, very aggressive (grade III). Lumpectomy 9/11; chemo (TAC regimen/6 rounds every third week) September 2011-January 2012. I had a procedure called "direct-to-implant" February 2012. All in one double mastectomy and implants. One surgery and no lousy expanders! I've been very pleased. I'm fortunate to work in a research hospital and my oncologist is a well known researcher on TNBC. I'm in a Metformin study. Have you heard about this? There's strong evidence of a link between TN recurrence and glucose, which is why some people say cancer cells like sugar. Have you heard of this? Unfortunately, it hasn't stopped me from eating chocolate and drinking wine!!! Speaking of which, I know drinking wine is often discouraged for BC patients, but I thought it was targeted for estrogen+ BC. Does that mean it's ok for us TN Girls to have our wine? I'm hoping that's the case! My question is, are any of you on a special diet? I keep thinking I should start eating tree bark or something, but haven't gotten serious about it. What about black fungus? I fear no one would want to be around me a few hours after meals, if I ate it, however, if it will increase my chances of no recurrence, I'll do it! Happy to be a part of The TNBC Blog Sisters! Have a great holiday weekend!

  • Yodie
    Yodie Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2012

    Also want to mention, I have found the LiveSTRONG website very helpful with information on black fungus, curcumin (great for Chemo Brain!), and other food/supplement info.

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,188
    edited August 2012

    Ladies ---This one is for Yodie and Titan and anybody else who likes their wine!!!  A new kind of handbag...

       

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