Calling all TNs
Comments
-
Mags- has anyone ever said...oooh I'm craving some broccoli?? Don't think so!!
0 -
Cocker...wonderful news about Mandy..whew...I was sweating that one out
and yeah..I do crave broccoli...goes great with white zin
0 -
Ooooh chocolate cake oozing with icing. Yummy. Nothing wrong with my appetite. I have just fried some potatoes I had left over last night and cooked a poached egg with it. I know I shouldn't but boy it was nice.
Just had my port flushed and they said I may have to have it left in for a year in case it was needed!!!!! Bugger.
Bower1 - yes a like button would be really good. Perhaps the moderators will hear us.
I am so full I am going to have a rest now. Annie
0 -
Oh Damn, Mags. I am sitting here drinking a nice glass of white wine and now I want some cake, too! I think i will have to settle for a cookie or two. Geez, I have no will power at all.
0 -
Titan you are truly one of kind!! LOL!!
0 -
Cocker: I was just looking at my empty calendar for 2013 and thought "what if" as I flipped through it. When I was diagnosed in November I didn't even buy a 2012 calendar because I figured I wouldn't be here for 2012. I feel like a sitting duck sometimes, just waiting for something to happen......for that stupid C to come back.
A friend today told me that she "totally understands" what I am going through because she felt the "same way" when she went through her divorce 10 years ago. Honestly......really?! A divorce to a guy you should have never married?! And then she tells me that she was "worried you were mad at me because you've been distant". I've been distant because I have been struggling with my emotions every day and who wants to be around me when I'm like this. Also I've been a bit preoccupied trying to figure out this whole living life thing that I am not suppose to do since finishing chemo 4 months ago. GGGRRRRRRR. Sorry Ladies, that's my vent tonight.
0 -
Born - Your post is another post I could have written. Jan
0 -
Cocker - I just had my port taken out a couple of weeks ago, about 4 months after chemo ended and 2 months after rads ended. My MO said that the BS would tell me I had to keep it a year and I said NO WAY! Then, he said that I could maybe get by with keeping it 6 months. Well, I called the BS and made an appointment to get a follow-up and tell him I wanted it out ASAP. Even though I went through so much putting it in (BS nicked my lung and caused a partial collapse so I had to be hospitalized and went through one of the most painful things I ever endured - a chest tube put in under a local - right through my right foob), I told the BS I wanted the port out. He said he would but it would be done in the office with another local. By this time, he should have known, and I had told him a bunch of times that locals DO NOT WORK and I feel everything so there was NO WAY I was having it done in the office. They would have to take it out the same way they put it in. In the end, my insurance agreed and I had it taken out in the hospital under a light sedation. It was a breeze and I am glad it is gone. So, anyway, I guess my point is, don't let them tell you that you have to keep it a year. You don't. I figured I was done with mine and that it was just horrible to think I should need it again. We are supposed to be thinking positive thoughts right? Then, why would I want to keep the port? I think 4 months after chemo was plenty long. Okay, so that was my vent for tonight. I also get the what-if's all the time and still cry quite frequently, scared of everything. Heck, without a scan or something, how the heck do I even know if I am NED? They don't even do a mammo until October and I don't have any faith in mammos, especially since I have dense breasts. So, I just keep worrying. I know you all understand...0
-
Annie - I had my port removed soon after chemo was finished and some scans proved I was NED. That had to have been less than a month after chemo. I had a local (my request) because I had another appointment later that day. I had a love/hate relationship with my port; I loved that chemo didn't kill my veins, hated it because it was always somewhat painful. I can't imagine why they want you to leave it in for another year! Spring in New Zealand sounds peaceful. Do you plant a vegetable garden? Hope you can relax and find some joy in your days. Jan
0 -
hi all, i follow this thread every day. i have a question,i am 7 months out from chemo,5 months out from rads. i have been nauseated,slight dizziness/lightheaded,very tired for 1 wk. Is this par for the course,is my body still recovering?
0 -
CS-I still have my port and will keep it for awhile. I don't even notice that it is there so I don't mind. Since I have LE in both my arms I am glad to have it for my blood draws and zometa.
I am having the major what ifs tonight! My scans are bright and early, and then I see the doc for the results. So. tomorrow afternoon I will either be extremly happy or scared shitless. Cancer has taken so much from me I am really feeling angry tonight. It took my mom, my dad, my best friend, my nephew, 2 of my aunts and countless women here on the boards. It has left me with no energy, no boobs, pain and tightness everyday. I can hardly work and when I do I am miserable because of the hot flashes and sweating. It has taken my peace of mind from me, although I know I am responsible for that. There is my vent for the day. I am tired of trying to be positive. I am grumpy and pissed off. I want my old self back. I want my friends and family back that i have lost. I find myself withdrawing from people because I think what is the use. Oh, yes I am on an anti depressant and I see a psychiatrist, not helping, at least tonight it is not.
0 -
Mental meltdown day here. I had those awful feelings - where everything seems to be overwhelming. Only lasted a couple of hours, but it left me feeling fragile and exhausted.
0 -
Hi Belleaste-It could still be side effects, or it could just be that you don't feel well this week. I find my energy comes and goes, but I sure do not have the energy I used to have. Even before cancer there were bad days or weeks where I didn't feel well. I hope you start to feel better. We are about the same time out from rads.
OBXK-Yeah, hoping to feel much better after my scans! All I can do is hope for good news. I hate this feeling, the waiting, the not knowing, but I think I rather not know than find out something bad tomorrow.
0 -
Bak94,
i saw your signature saying Stage 3 or 4 depending on who you ask. May I ask why you put it like this? Just curious on the definition of stage though. thanks.
0 -
0 -
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing" God told the couple, "and I was wondering if either one of you wanted that abilty."
Adam jumped up and blurted "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems the sort of thing a man would do. Please give me that ability. It'd be so great. When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let fly. It'd be sooo cool. I could write my name in the sand. Please, God, let it be me you give the gift to, let me stand to pee, oh please."
Eve just smiled and said that if Adam really wanted that so bad that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make Adam really happy, and she didn't mind if Adam were the one to get this ability. Adam was happy, and proceeded to wash down the bark of the nearest tree, laughing with glee all the while.
"Fine", God said, looking back into his bag of leftovers. "What's left here?" "Oh, yes. Multiple orgasms."
0 -
My MO told me I had to keep my port for one year too and I said NO, I do not plan on ever needing that thing again! Postitive thinking! I had it done under a local, but it took several shots to get me numb!!! Glad I made the dr check first or I would have been hurting! It was no biggie getting it out though. I am so glad it is gone, just he idea of a foreign object in my body made me nauseaus (sp). Anyways if you want it out tell them!
0 -
Hope, thanks for checking in with us. Please don't worry about bringing us down, we are here for you anytime you want to talk.
Annie, I still have my port - it has been 1.5 years since diagnosis for me but I still get two tubes of blood drawn every 3 months for tumor marker tests. My veins are really small; I got stuck six times for my MRI when I had it at diagnosis and chemo didn't improve my veins, so I am going to keep my port until I have reconstruction (if I have it.) I also have the "what ifs" all the time. Some days I seem consumed by anxiety. Exercise seems to help me the most - but I know you are probably still so tired from rads. Once you start feeling more energized, the "what if" thoughts may diminish, too.
Brenda, I hate scanxiety! I hope everything will be just fine. I'm back to having night sweats with the tamoxifen. I woke up last night from a nightmare drenched. It seems to come and go and sometimes I wonder if my periods are trying to start back up. I am just six months from my last chemo.
It's hard to sort out sometimes what is normal aging; results of the aggressive treatment we receive, and something to really worry about. I saw my onc Monday and mentioned my rib pain that comes and goes. He said the pains to pay attention to are those that persist and get worse.
I would also be in favor of a private contact list.
Lovelyface, are you doing okay? I know your eyesight has been bad, but I hope you are well otherwise. Miss your posts.
0 -
Bak- Sending you good wishes today! We will all be with you in spirit today!! Keep chanting...clear scans, clear scans....
0 -
Thank you everone! The predisone they give me before scan has made me feel much better! I even slept better than i have in a long time.
Tibet there is dome disagreement between some of my doctors what stage i am because of where a positive node was located. It was kinda between an interal mammary node and a mediastinal node. The mediastinal node would technically make me stage 4 but mt mo says it is more like stage three. So i try to vo with stage three in my mind! But di wonder if my stats are more stage 3 or stage 4. Oh well. Off to scans i go now.0 -
I saw the rad onc yesterday for my 1 month followup, he says it all looks great! No bad lumps or bumps, skin clear, 10 out of 10 recovery.
This stupid boob - it's had a lumpectomy, then mastectomy, then TEs with lattismus dorsi reconstruction which has altered my back forever, then an implant, then implant removed 3 years later - and now my plastic surgeon is waiting to see if I can get away with just a new implant, or if I'll need a tram flap to reconstruct it! If he says TRAM I'm saying screw it. I am not going through any more major surgeries for this train wreck of a half-boob.
Awww, nerves, anxiety, Bak, OBX, and everyone else, I so know those feelings. Some days I do great, and then reality hits me... Reality is highly overrated. I've actually been quite happy the past few days, and the awful thing about this whole BC ordeal is that I now fear happiness - because I'm waiting for what inevitably seems to be around the corner. My new mantra, which I keep repeating to myself when the what-ifs come calling, is "Live in the present. Live in the now. There is no past, there is no future. Just be". It helps sometimes.
0 -
Im siting here waiting for my scan results. I think im gonna puke! Probably from that contrast stuff and nerves combines:(. Maybe i will sneak out. I'll dont wanna know!!!! How do u all deal with this? Is it worse for me cause i am techically stage four or is it easier for me because it is what is experience cted to happen. Wish they would hurry!
0 -
Inmate are u at the tumir institute today? Im always looking for you:) im th chubby one with short dark hair ans no boobs! I didnt wear them today. I am usually in black.
0 -
Praying for you bak!!
I have my lumpectomy surgery scheduled for Friday, September 7th at Medical City Hospital in Dallas!! Ready to start this fight!!0 -
**sits down with Bak, takes hand and squeezes gently**
Hope, please don't stay away because things are hard right now. We are here to share both the good and the bad.
Belle - I'm at about the same time frame you are and I've been going through the same thing for the last couple weeks. I finally came down with a sore throat and spent the last 34 of 36 hours sleeping. I'll see if I turn the corner after this, if not I'll be talking to my doctors if it continues.
Cocker - I believe in the power of positive thought also, but in your case, with the odds they gave you, I think I would leave my port in for awhile. Consider it superticious (?sp), but a way to tell CA, don't even think about coming back......I'll kick the shit outta you!
Thank you everyone who has mentioned being plagued by the "what ifs". I've been going thru not the "what ifs", but more the "when's". I think I'd be able to cope better if I could live my life the way I wanted, but caring for Mom inhibits that (not that I'd change that). I feel better knowing I'm not alone in my feelings, so thank you for sharing ladies.0 -
thanks,bak and kathyrn! it helps to know i'm not the only one experiencing this,kathyrn! cause we all know where our minds go! bak,thinking of you,hoping you have good results!
0 -
Scans clear! Very happy then hubby was being mean to me and i blew up at him. More on that later. So i am quietly celebrating as i am crying my eyes out.
0 -
WOOHOO BAK!!!! DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!0
-
Hello everyone! Christina1961 - So sweet of you to think of me. I am so very sorry for not writing, but I do read the posts here as much as I can and send loving thoughts to each and every one of you. I have created beautiful mental pictures of each of you in my mind.
I wish I could describe in words my recent experiences with a brand new diagnosis involving the most important organ in my body, my eyes. It has been one appointment after another and I think what happened to me is gross negligence on the part of my Ophthalmologist, who failed to tell me the condition of my eyes in Nov. 2011. 6 months later he sends me to a retina specialist who finds a bunch of things wrong in both eyes, even needing surgery. My goodness. I am back to learning as much as I can about eyes, eyesight, surgery, etc. But surgery is never gonna happen, no way. I have basically been told that my diagnosis is age related, what the fu...k! I am only 54, if I was 65 or 70, I could take that crap, but I am not. I am figuring out that dryness might have caused this problem and am so mad at the Opth. that, had he told me about it, I would done something about it, and not gotten to this point. It is SO SIMPLE - MENOPAUSE equals Dryness...... which equals dryness at the back of your eyes which they call Aging. Each day I learn a little more by visiting one specialist after another.
A friend at work has recommended an eye drop which has healed her of her eye problems. She sits next to me and for months and months, she suffered from discomfort, pain etc. in her eyes. I am really hopeful about this new eye drop and can't wait to try it. This afternoon I have an appointment with another Opthalmologist. I plan to ask him if he thinks dry eyes could have caused my macular pucker (this is what I have been diagnosed with in the left eye). I am sure he is gonna say it is aging.
Sometimes I do wonder whether chemo had anything to do with my eye diagnosis. I hope not.
Anyway, my BS said due to having had too many scans in the past, she is not going to give me anything this time (which was my 6 monthly visit). So, I am not getting any MRI, Mammo, Ultrasound or anything this time. 3 days after visiting her, I am now feeling a tiny little something on my left side, which is freaking me out. But it could be just glandular. She said to come back in Feb. for a mammogram. I argued with her about getting an MRI which I believed to be free of radiation. She said that the liquid they inject in you for a contrast MRI, is radioactive glucose. I just shut my mouth and did not fuss with her, I am glad she is helping me avoid radioactive stuff. I was lucky to get 6 monthly MRI's since my diagnosis in July, 2010.
I can't wait to get to my Oncology appointment at the end of September. I want to see the results of my tumor markers. Those are what keeps me sane.
Inmate - Honey, I am so sorry you are in pain. We all have those dark thoughts, but please don't even go there. I hope your next treatment kicks the ca..... shit back to where it came from. I am so sorry that you have to go through this.
Everyone, I am sending healing thoughts your way.
0 -
bak WhooooHOOOOO!!!!!!
0
