Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
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Golden -- excellent point about the swelling!
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Val61, Love your saying of the beautifull gift of paying it forward, it is so true for so many of the ladies that have helped me.
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I don't recall who mentioned this but I wanted to thank you anyway. SOMEONE made a comment that when buying bra's online, if you havent purchased the bra style before to make sure you get free returns. I'd tried on Lilyette, Bali and some other brand, and a 42D fit well. So that's what I ordered. Well they came yesterday and my poor foobies were drowning in the deep end. I'm sending them back "free" of charge to exchange for a C cup in both of these. There was a good thumb width between my implant and the side wire. They were kind of cool, side wire bra's. The underwire is under the breast and goes up the lateral side. But the medial side, the inner side is padded wireless band. So I don't have to worry about the inner wire pushing the implant to the underarms.
I thought it would be a great sleep solution.
So someone saved me a lot of money! Thank you0 -
That was me Rosey! (Or anyway I was one of them).... I always mention it because a lot of the sites don't allow returns of sale items -- or anyway some sale items are returnable and some are not. Glad you were able to return your first round for free and here's hoping the new size does the trick!
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bcs2011,yep I agree,I often times try to remember to go back to threads where they are newly diagnosed and worried to remind them that some tumors are benign,its not always cancer,but in worse case scenario we are all here for them.
Rckrobin,You slept on your side? I have to sleep on my side so since I was not,I have been having trouble sleeping all wk. Last night I decided I may be suffering from some sort of PTSD cause every morng I would wake at 4 am in a sweat thinkg I had to get up and get to the hosp for the exchg surg even tho its already done. Then I got all confused about my dr appt and thought I was supposed to be there at 1 or 1:30 so chked the calendar and it was at 9am! Then looked at watch,OMG 8:45. Threw on some clothes,put hair in scrunchy and flew out the door,got there 5 min late,it was ok after they put me in the little room to wait on the dr/MO,I sat there forever reading a magz. Its ok to sleep on my side? It wont make the implants go under my armpits? I am totally not liking the fact that the other side wont drop and fluff!!!!I am hating these "massages". Gotta go back to work Mon,got special permit from PS to go cause I am starting to get OCD staying home and lookg at daytime TV. Cant go shopping cause dunno what size I will be when swelling stops and PS demands a sports bra for first few mths 24/7.
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Layla2525, my PS encouraged me to sleep on my side if I did it "correctly". I can sleep on my side *and I'm a side sleeper so I was so happy* if my head is on a pillow and my arm that is under me is moved forward and away from my chest. That puts the side of my rib cage on the actual bed. Then I'm to roll just ever so slighly toward the implant so it is moved away from my arm pit area and maintained slightly forward. However I found I had to have a sturdy underwire on to keep the implant on the upper side from hanging too far to the center. But I flip all night long....right side first, then left and sometime during the night even on the back. But my right side is radiated so sleeping on the right side and rolling forward kept it from tightening and moving back under the arm. It's still tight, but the implant is well in front now.
I hope that with fat graphs he will lipo some of the breast fat that hangs out under the arms and stick it on top the implant where it goes.Thank you Lilah. I did coupon searches until I found a free shipping, free returns and I'm happy. These were bras on sale from Woman Within and looked comfy for sleeping. Side wired and stretchy. But they were ginormous compared to me, so I would have been ticked to pay half of what I spent on sale to send them back.
In a fit of temper/rage/anger and dispair, I gave all my GOOD bras to my daughter in law right after my mastectomy. Lesson here. Wait til after the exchange before giving away your good bras. They were all 44D and I suspect I could be wearing some of them now. But I'm obviously not going to ask for them back. But the bras I ordered were 42 and she's now at least a 46 so I couldn't even pass them on to her. We often go to Cacique together for the BOGO 50% off. I get one and she gets one in the same style then we split the cost. lol0 -
Ah well -- sorry you got mad at your bras
But now you have an excellent excuse to get new ones! I only recently realizes I still had a ton of old bras and I gave them to good will (they were in good shape). Some large breasted woman is very happy right now, I think. Me, I'm happy to be smaller breasted and smaller period!0 -
OK Ladies new bra collection at Soma is awesome!!!
It's called embraceable and I love love love it. It comes in full coverage, average coverage, minimizer and push up. I have not seen the push up yet. I got the full coverage in my usual size.
It's very soft fabric comes in lots of colors and patterns. Great support and shaping.
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Oh my, yes I slept on my side and I slept better than any night in recent memory! I have a weenie back, and all that laying flat on my back was making me wake up with a backache AND the TE aching. I really felt old every morning when I woke up and had to stretch everything out carefully! But I really did not ask if I could sleep on my side, so I hope it is ok. I go for my one week post-op visit on Thursday and will ask more questions then, including when I can think about getting fitted for a regular bra. I like the sports bras, but a few that I have that I like are neon orange and neon pink, and that does not always look very good if it decides to peek out anywhere!
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I came across this on the PRMA site. Anyone heard about these? http://www.medstartr.com/projects/31-reconstruction-bras-for-breast-cancer-survivors-and-previvors What a good idea, something for people in the process of expanding, fluffing and revising. I hope they get the project off the ground. They plan to retail them for over $80 which puts a lot of people out of their market. I'm going shopping with a new friend next week to find a stretchy bra to go over her TEs. I told her the same thing you guys told me....she needed a stretch cup and since she's totally numb right now, I told her to stay away from underwires. I've never had a GOOD bra break a wire. I have had cheap walmart bras poke out the arm pit side. So like our PS I didn't want the libability of saying underwire, when she's still so numb. I explained it was about her numbness as far as I was concerned. And her TE's are so high and tight, she really doesn't need a bra, but she's older (65ish) that me and just feels undressed without one. I told her a lot of you wear Cami's. But she wants "a bra". lol But she only has $50 to get 2 bras, so she's going to Penny's. Plus she really doesn't need to invest in a lot of bras for this stage.
Rckinrobin - I have a herniated disc in the low back. My PT told me when sleeping on my back it was essential to raise the knees and flatten out the small of my back. You can get something like this at www.makemeheal.com http://www.makemeheal.com/mmh/product.do?id=10052 However I made mine...I took 2 body pillows that I had and not in use, folded them both in half and duct taped them to stay and then cudt taped them together and forced them into a king pillow case. Viola - hillbilly leg wedge.
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Looks like Macy's has a fall bra sale going on too...
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Fragrantrose, I like your idea of the hillbilly leg wedge, lol! I did put pillows under my legs but could not stay in one position for long without being uncomfortable. I am sleeping much better now that I can at least somewhat be on my side. I just like to change positions a lot and can't seem to stay in one position for long unless it is on my side.
You might tell your friend to check out the sports bras at Marshall's or TJ Maxx. I bought my sports bras there because I could get the really well made name brands for just around $10. My favorite ones seem to be made by new balance. I am still wearing them for now and they are very comfortable to wear both during the day and at night. I also bought a nice inexpensive bra there in a 36C to wear with a dress on one occasion, and it was only $5.99, so I figured if it didn't fit after my exchange it was no big deal. I will spend more when I am sure of the size I will be.0 -
I went to some of the bra sites you suggested and I was drooling. They were so amazing and beautiful with pretty girls modeling them.I think i've replaced one addiction for another. Hello my name is pat and I like to look at bras.
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fragrantroses I saw that on the PRMA facebook page and thought what a wonderful idea. I hope they get the project off the ground. Looks like they are doing pretty good with it so far.
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Would it be against the site rules to start a thread to support the PRMA bra?
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Yes, my name is Dawne and I not only like looking at bras buy buying them. Lol.
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if we don't get into a 12 step program our loved ones will stage an intervention for us and it won't be pretty.
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PRMA (Plastic Reconstruction Microsurgical Associates) is not selling this bra. They are a group of the best plastic surgeons in the nation in San Antonio, TX. If you are on their facebook page they are always posting new things in the breast reconstruction world and breast cancer news. That was why they had it posted as a link. Dr. Ledoux in their office was my surgeon and he totally rocks.
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Ladies - I see a lot of you order from herroom....is the return policy easy? I mean, REALLY easy, like returning a pair of shoes from Zappo's? Is it free?
I will be three weeks post-exchange on Wednesday. Thanks to a boatload of pocket work, I have some significant, excess swelling on Lefty. The PS thinks that this may take 2 - 3 months to resolve.
Righty, though, has softened considerably, and may be in the D&F stages. Woot!
The PS does not want me in an underwire bra until he is satisfied that all the internal tissues and muscles that he cut and repositioned and sutured have healed. In the meantime, he wants me in a bra 24/7: sports bra, Genie bra, or whatever I like that's comfortable. I'm still in my JCPenney zip-front sports bras at night and my Genie bras during the day.
We don't have a Nordstroms here (just a Nordstrom Rack), but we'll be down in Newport Beach in November. I hear that the Nordie's Fashion Island has a good post-surgical bra fitting program. I figure if I can get a proper fitting, then I can order more things online when we come home.
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Here is herroom's return policy:
http://www.herroom.com/returns.aspx
Note, though that some items on clearance you CANNOT return but it is well marked if that is the case.
Blessings2011 - that is exactly what you do....get a proper fitting and a well fitting bra and then order online and even on eBay. Know, though, that even with a proper fitting and a well fitting bra, you will still have to experiment with different brands and even with different styles in the same brand. But getting a proper fitting will clarify things and narrow down the options.0 -
Thanks, Dawne-Hope!!!
On a side note, I have to say I laughed out loud at this section of their return policy....
All returned panties and other items with a crotch are closely examined and tested: we never put previously worn underwear back into our inventory. If we believe an item has been tried on or worn, we cannot accept it as a return.
All I could think of was how would you like to be the one who determines THAT?????
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LOL Blessings -- that is hilarious.
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blessings that is hysterical 0
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Worst job ever!
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My PS made me tear up today. He said my radiated skin is doing incredibly better than they expected, and better than any he has seen prior to me. He is stunned by the results so far and believes that fat graphs will totally resolve the tough skin. He said he will do at least 2 graphs because he believes that 2 will be necessary to make any impact. But with the results we have, he will work on Maxine to improve her rads skin and when I'm happy he will move over to Glinda (he burst out laughing at the name) and make Glinda match Maxine.
Anyway, I asked him what his restrictions on bras were now. He took my hand and said, "Tina, your restriction are this...purchase beautiful bas and don't accept anything that doesn't make you feel pretty and beautiful." SNIFF!! Then he went on to tell me there were not real restrictions and I could buy underwire or not, but that to make sure I wear underwires that they are good quality, no cheapies. And then told me "When a woman has to go through breast cancer and goes through reconstruction, she deserves to look and feel beautiful afterward. Just make sure they are good quality particularly when you buy underwires and not cheap immitations of good bras." lol I think he meant no walmart bras. he he Although I did today buy a couple cheap bras from Walmart that were wire free to sleep in.sigh. I go back in 6 weeks to schedule fat graphs. He does them in their "minor surgery suite" in his office. They have the whole set up in the clinic, (which is in a hospital) and it will done under local. *yikes* They assured me I wouldn't feel it.
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And blessings, that reminds me of being at a walmart where a woman was returning underwear that "weren't the right size" but they were stained and NASTY. Walmart took them back, but I'm sure they didn't put them out on the floor.
My xbrother in law was a supercenter manager. He said they throw all that away when people bring in something that is obviously not right. I watched a person last September return a muddy pool, claiming it suddenly had a hole and he wanted his money back. The courtesty counter was ticked off but they had to do it according to their policy. It had been obviously used all summer as it was moldy, muddy and mildewy.
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fragrantroses - Thank you for sharing your story ... it was beautiful! We deserve to feel and look beautiful. I am so happy he was so kind, compassionate and thoughtful towards you. Beautiful0
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ugh we get pantys back all the time at SOma so far I ahve not had any gross ones. I have had some gross bras returned a few times. Like oh wow I had my bra for two years now and it got stretched out ugh! I wish we had expiration dates on them. Why do people think they will last forever?
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i don't think i would have the nerve to return panties.
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fragrantroses: I was THRILLED to read about your most recent appointment with your PS. I know Maxine was starting to look much better in your 8 week pics, and imagine there must have been even more improvement since. I know you were quite disappointed in those early weeks post exchange, and am so happy that you seem well on your way to looking as beautiful as you deserve. 0
