Bras 101: The Great Post-Exchange Debate
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fragrantrose,so you are 2 mths out from the exchange? Were they ever pancake like right after surg? My cancer side has slide down a little since last night but other side still on collar bone. Suprised that one side went down so quickly but still no projection. The waiting is so hard cause otherwise I may need to go to a fancy dr in Miami and see what can be done,fat grafting? I hope everything works out,so worried that I will be a double A like my teen yrs. Ugh!! At my age the tummy has more projection than the boob,not so attractive.
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Dragonfly,you had drop&fluff in only 2 weeks! OMG thats awesome,hope mine do that. Yes,that one night one of the incision starting to form large droplets of blood and I was ready to freak out but it stopped after about a minute so guess somehow hugged fiance too hard dunno but took it very easy the next day so far so good and go back to PS 2moro for surg followup.
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Fragrantroses, that is so funny! You gave me my belly laugh for the day. I can just see it!!! YES! Leave the hubby home!!
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Oh yes Layla, I was distraught. If you search my name, on July 6th you can read my distraught self telling everyone this was not worth the results.
I am finding that I really need to document my experience. I journaled online through the cancer treatments. Now because I'm quite willing and vocal about sharing details of my experience I have women emailing me the names and addresses of their friends who were just diagnosed with cancer asking if I can talk to them about what to expect. So I do. And it's partly because I went into all this SO unprepared. I just found BCO in May. I had waited 14 months after rads to start expanding (PS rules are 12 months, but my son was getting married so I waited). I was experiencing horrifying pain with expansions on the rad side and did searches and found this place. It's been a wealth of information. But I had been focussing on expansions and TE and pain when the right one blew a leak and then I was told I was having surgery in 48 hours. So we rushed over the 4th to get things ready for me to be incapacitated. Which I was not. I was amazed how much easier this was than BMX and exchange. Wow. But the day after on the 6th - they cut the bandages off and I was like "what the heck?" I did all this for THIS?I have determined there's a major flaw in PS before and after reconstructions photos. They do not usually share how LONG after reconstruction the photos are taken. I never saw a "day after" photo. I had not read about the pancake syndrome and I was DE-VE-STATED. It was such an emotional time for me. My results weren't what I expected. I'd been on the photo forum and saw foobs in bras that looked amazingly high and tight. Not stripper boob big, but beautiful full breasts. I had been deprived of that for 19 months and wanted my form back. I mistakenly thought I would feel normal after the exchange. Boy I was deflated on SO many levels. I had not been told until 2 days before the exchange that implants appeared flat across the front. I was like what? I've seen after reconstruction photos in the buff that looked great. But they do not tell you how many revisions it took to reach that great shape.
So yes, dawlin' I was devestated. I realized no surgery would ever make me feel normal. My body was forever altered and I was not going to get away from that. I have told the PS I don't care what kind of scars I wind up with, as long as I'm beautiful in a bra.If you aren't I HIGHLY suggest that you photo journal the post op by weeks. When you do drop and fluff it becomes very evident in photos. I remember 30 years ago, that I gained 100 lbs over 3 months. I wasn't eating as healthy as I should because we were sitting at poverty level. And people will argue this to my dying day I'm sure. But my hubs and I found we could eat better at fast food than in the grocery store. NOTE I did not say healthier. But when you have $5 to spend on a meal...we both could get burgers, and fries and drinks. But you take $5 to the grocery store - even base commissary (we were Navy) and you got tuna, bread and may. Might have been healthier but not nearly as filling. I was providing "babysitting/childcare" at $20 a week and that was our grocery money. But at the same time, I was developing PCOS - so 100 lb weight gain over 3 - 4 months. I had NO idea I had gained the weight until I saw photos of myself taken at the dh's reinlistment ceremony. I had been wearing those shapeless denim high waisted dresses...and never noticed there was more me than dress. So I apply the same principal to weight loss or foob fluff and drop. You don't see it until it's on photo. That being said...if You did not see this...check this out.
You see in week 4 that the area below the incision/tape is slightly contoured. Week 6 more so...week 8 looks like a breast to me. NOT the breast I wanted. I wanted those fake, coconut shells projecting from the front chest. If you wonder, this is Glinda and she has a LONG scar. I had developed what I called chicken skin. There was this flappy, flabby flop of skin that hung below the TE....let me find a good photo of that.
Maxine, the cranky radiated tissue has fluffed but not dropped. I don't think she will but I'm still wearing a push down strap in hopes.
There's a huge difference between weeks 6 & 8. She's gotten pretty knarly and she fails my litmus test. She is not pretty in a bra. Her lumps and concave areas stick out like a ingrown toenail. I hope fat graphs will even her out. I'd love to switch to a larger saline implant. Bigger women need bigger implants I think. I certainly want them to have more shape that my gut. I'm working on losing weight, but surgical menopause and Arimidex has put the cabosh on it....well slowed it way down. Instead of losing a lb a week, it's like a lb a month. However *hanging my head in shame* I have regained 25 lbs in 8 weeks since surgery. It appears that my comfort food has really just comforted my fat cells or "adipose tissue" as whippetmom so politely refers to it.
Sorry to take up your time Layla, if you didn't want all this info. I home educated my son, have taught NUMEROUS Bible studies and Sunday school classes for adult women and couples. The teacher side of me needs to instruct. lol
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layla and fragrantroses - I'm sure you're aware, but there is a picture forum independent of BCO where women post true "before and after" photos as you have done here. Not just before and 3 or 6 months after surgery, but the real nitty gritty. PM Lilah or Nowheregirl to inquire....
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Thank you Tina, I am aware of the photo forum. I'm also aware that there might be men who see my photos and somehow pervert them as I read somewhere that was the reason for the photo forum. I have photos posted there as well. I don't show my face in my photos here because of the possibility that someone might misuse them. The reason I still post some here is because I had been DESPERATE for something to compare MY reconstruction with someone else's and it took 6 weeks or so for me to get on the photo forum. I understand the need to be sure about a prospective member, but was in a panic when I thought had no way of comparing until I was accepted. It's for those people who haven't been able to get on the forum yet, that I show the photos. I made sure I resize them smaller by at least 50% so I don't drag the system down.
But the fact you point out there's a photo forum, allows anyone is who brand new to BCO know it exists for us and our privacy. My husband just does not understand that we women share this part of our journey. lol He insists that no matter how messed up he felt, he would NOT be showing photos of his penis on a testicular cancer forum, under any circumstance. lol Maybe women are more compassion...or insecure. Not sure there, but I received so much reassurance to find out that I was not as deformed as I believed.0 -
fragrantrose,I dunno if the guys have a prostrate cancer forum or post pics but I would not at all be interested. If they dont.. they should but; mostly feel too macho to do so or admit they would need support.
I see it didnt fluff overnight from your photo posting. I went to PS today and she says it will take me probably 4 mths in her exper and estimat to fluff,one side already trying to drop but not much fluff,measuring as thats the only true measure. It is about 1/4 in down and out more than the other side. I was given brown tape to keep on the incisions which PS is saying will keep blisters off and improve the scar appearance. Also given the horrid implant massage instruction. Oh snap another thing on my to do list! Odd none of the breast augment friends mentioned any of this. Guess they want me to thnk its all fun and games.
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Well the "Coobie" bra was a bust for me. Ha ha. Im 34DD & 135lbs & I was popping out of it - no way is it really one size fits all.
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I have been reading and thoughtfully reflected on the bra info. Yes, yes I don't want my implants to be in my pits etc. Then I realized half my bras were the wrong size. I threw them out. I went through my sleepy bras and threw them out. Told my dh I have to go bra shopping!Went bra hunting and could find no bras that would not touch the front of the implants. Lots of support for the sides. Well two hundred dollars later I'm thinking I still don't have it right. I think this is an excuse to go to Nordstrums.
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owlwatcher - I'm sorry you're having a tough time finding what works for you but I have to say your post made me smile.
I'd say a trip to Nordstroms is definitely in order.
Do call first and make an appointment with a 'surgical fitter' not all fitters are good and if you make an appointment with a surgical fitter, they've been trained to fit women like us.
I had to get rid of all my old bras too. I even had to get rid of several that I bought for myself after my exchange ...too big.
Keep us posted on what you get and how the fitting goes. I pray you get a good fitter. xo0 -
Val61 - "Val?" "Val?"
You promised an update and I'm dying here!
Please, oh, please do tell us about your latest purchases.
It's been awhile since you shared your latest 'treasures.'
We need to know! Lol.
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Nordstrom "Triple Points" starts on Wednesday and runs September 12-16. A shopping I will go. Still on my quest for a wireless bra that fits better and is more comfortable.
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Yes go to Nordstroms and get fitted. I went to Victoria Secrets last Friday and so glad I did. Came out with great fitting pretty bras.
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DH - I know.......I'm here....just locked in Pilates-land.....not to mention b-day fun
. I see my PS TODAY so will post later about that & my recent goodies! Promise!0 -
Got my two new bras from Herrrom today (the sale items that are not returnable) and wahoo they fit GREAT and look fabulous. I will post photos to my bra thread on the picture forum (for those who are members). The Panache bra fits really well, Dawne, by the way (so I guess its only some styles where one needs a size bigger in the cup). Super comfy too! And the Fantasie actually seems to run a little big in the band (I'm starting at the second spot with the hooks and on the Panache the first spot is best), but fits well otherwise. Also very comfy. And feels a tad more generous overall than Freya while still retaining the same general shape/style of a Freya three part cup.
Here are links to photos of the two new bras (SO PRETTY THEY ARE) from herroom.com:
http://www.herroom.com/fantasie-fl2631-sharon-underwire-balcony-bra.shtml
http://www.herroom.com/panache-4471-sienna-lace-balconnet-bra.shtml
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There are some women in this world who have too many bras and there are some women in this world who have too much Femara and feel totally guilty.
Yep I went early to the MO today and told her the Femara is great with me. She says ok well,here's a 90 day prescp and you can fill it here at the hospl. So I am waiting on my Femara and talking to the patient next to me so I wouldnt have to look at the chemo lab and feel guilty that I escaped that. They come out from the Pharm area and had me the bag with the Femara and then they look at her and say,sorry we are all out. OMG! So we are going down on the elevator still talking and finally I said to her,I am so sorry but I think I took all the Femara. She gave me that look and I told her I would give her a bottle but since its a prescrp drug that would be against the law so I couldnt and hoped she understood. then why do I still feel so guilty? She said she was on Arimi for 2 yrs and getting joint pain so they were switching her to Femara. I feel I did the right thing cause if she got side effects from Femara I would get in serious trouble. I still dunno if I did the right thing or the wrong thing. I wanna do the right thing but sometimes its so hard to tell.
Just sign me the Femara hogger! (not like she could go to another pharmacy right,we have hundreds here in town) Do you obey the law or do you do what you think you should do deep down in your heart? Havent felt so bad and so guilty in a long time. Why dont I feel any of that "survival of the fittess" mentality?
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You did the right thing Layla. You should NOT be giving someone else your prescription drugs. She could go to another pharmacy (I assume they gave her a prescription) and fill it there. And it's not your fault they filled your prescription first!
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Layla you did the right thing and she should understand that. Like you siad there are a ton of other place she couold go. I am surprised the pharmacist did not offer to fill it at another store for her.
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Lilah - They are beautiful!
One of the very first bras I was ever put in by a fitter was a Panache Porcelain Lace 30DD. I was confused but over time I've read the tips on Herroom.
On herroom, it says in the tips to go up a cup size on that particular style. They were right, like they almost always are. Take heed to their tips. They've never been wrong for me. Glad it works! They are both soooooo pretty.
Just for reference, here is what they say about the Porcelain Lace:
http://www.herroom.com/panache-5726-porcelain-lace-bra.shtml0 -
Ah so interesting Dawne about the advice from Panache to go up a size in that particular "porcelain lace" style. I just checked again and the purple Panache Sienna Lace Balconnet Bra 4471, which I got, does NOT have that recommendation/tip on the herroom page and does, indeed, fit perfectly.
I wonder if it's just that one porcelain lace style you bought... or if you have to check every time with any Panache bra. I suppose it doesn't hurt to look for those types of tips on any brand! Such a great thing that Herroom supplies that info.
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Thx Lilah& Carol, I am pretty sure it is illegal at least in FL to share prescrip meds. Yep,I shouldnt feel guilty,it was just random luck,she could have ended up the first patient appt instead of me and may very well happen at another time. If I could not have gotten the meds there, my insur lets you mail it in if the dr does a 90 day prescrip and they deliver right to your door so thats nice as well,she might have that on her insur,dunno but we live in a good sized city with a pharm on every corner,even know of several CVS and Walgreen that are open 24/7 here. I feel better now. I was gonna mail it but since they had it there at the hosp I thought why not and it was only $25 for 3 mths,I have very good Federal Blue Cross insur. They pay good on prescps. They should! Their stupid mthly premium is so darn high. Of course ppl in the CVS do look at me funny when the pharm tells me to pay 75 cent copay for my bld prz meds.lol..
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One of my favorite lined bras is the Panache Porcelain style. I got two (nude and black) over a year ago and followed Herroom's recommendation of going up a cup size. After wearing them for several months, I concluded they were really too big. I tried the Porcelain Lace a cup size down (my regular size), and though definitely fill (perhaps overfill on the upper pole) the cups, the wires fit much better.
What we need to remember, is that MOST of the recs on Herroom, Nordies, BareNecessities, etc are done by women with natural breasts - though you will find a few from me on those places
. A great deal of our cup size volume is because of the WIDTH of our implants; the cup size of a natural breast is influenced by the HEIGHT of the breast, which contributes greatly to its total volume. Hope that makes sense!Speaking of bras......My recent purchases included the following:
1.Simone Perele Andora Molded Bra #131343 http://www.herroom.com/simone-perele-131343-andora-3d-molded-bra.shtml I bought this bra first actually on the TaTa Sisterhood trip to Las Vegas last year.......it is definitely one of my all-time faves! It's lining is VERY thin - spacer foam that molds beautifully to the implants so allows the wires to snug perfectly against the implant edges. Expensive, without a doubt, but my diva foobs are happy in it.
2.Chantelle C-Chic Sexy Spacer Foam T-Shirt Bra #3585 http://www.herroom.com/chantelle-3585-c-chic-sexy-spacer-foam-t-shirt-bra.shtml Being the lover of spacer foam that I am, PLUS a lover of the C-Chic racerback bra, I thought I'd give this a try. Was also looking for another convertible bra. This one is wonderful! The straps are a bit scratchy, but I know will soften with a couple more washings. (in the sink, of course!) Plus, the spacer foam makes this fit far better than my other C-Chic bras, which end up with tiny folds at the bottom of the cup because the lining prohibits them from snugging against the implants.
3. Nator Sheer Mesh Convertible Plunge Bra #132005 http://www.herroom.com/natori-132005-sheer-mesh-convertible-contour-plunge-bra.shtml Continuing my convertible search - those are HARD to find - I reluctantly tried this. Natori has never fit me - not full enough in the cups, but next size up too big. Same deal with this bra. The rec on Herroom says to go up a size, as well - didn't work for me. Excellent plunge bra for those who are MANY months post exchange if you want to try.
That's it for bras, though did buy some Freya swimwear. I've bought it since my exchange and it will most likely continue to be my swimwear for a very long time. I just love how the tops fit like a real bra, so the foobs stay happy and supported even while relaxing on the beach!
Layla - You did the right thing. I've been on Arimidex for about 18 months now, but thankfully my SE's have been manageable. I think Femara is a better fit for some, Arimi for others........just like bras!
Had a great checkup with my PS yesterday! Yes, I'm still seeing him, though now just every six months. He said all looks excellent and the implants were behaving exactly as expected (a slight drop in the R side, none in the revised/sutured to my rib L side). Yay!
I also had the honor of visiting a fellow BCO sister in the hospital yesterday. She had her BMX/TE placement on Wednesday and is doing well. Whippetmom had connected us, and though we'd spoken on the phone and emailed over the past few weeks, we hadn't met. I was a bit worried about being back in the same hospital - nearly the same room -as I'd been in for MY surgery, but I was actually ok. This time was all about her. The beautiful gift of "paying it forward".......which is exactly why many of us are her, right?
Wishing y'all a fabulous weekend! I have a full one.....black-tie event with friends tonight so get to wear a fancy dress, continuing my week of b-day fun tomorrow, then hopefully relaxing a bit on Sunday......that is if those sweet little fairies would come clean my house!
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Val - Thanks for posting your recent purchases. I bought a similiar Simone Perele for my trip to Florida last November and I love the spacer foam ... it's so light. Very, very pretty.
I remember when you defied (LOL!) the recommendations and kept the cup the same in the Panache Porcelain Bra ... the one without the lace ... and I tried ... but the cups were so full that it hurt my scar line.
It did fit better, on the sides but it was just too full in the cup. The whole width thing is sooooo true! So Important: "A great deal of our cup size volume is because of the WIDTH of our implants; the cup size of a natural breast is influenced by the HEIGHT of the breast, which contributes greatly to its total volume. Hope that makes sense!"
I haven't seen my PS since after my nip surgery ... about January 2011. Don't know why or what that means but I do still check in with my BS. Very happy that he is pleased and everything is still looking good.
Good for you for meeting up with that gal. I'm sure it meant a lot to her. It would be super strange to not only be back in the same hospital but near the same room.
Sounds like you handled it magnificently. Fancy dress?! Awesome. I can't remember the last time I wore a fancy dress but it sounds like fun!
And if you ever get some of those sweet little fairies to clean your house ... I'm going to kidnap them and bring them to mine. 
Hope you have a great weekend as well.
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Thanks for the update Val and wahoo on the good PS visit! Have a fabulous time playing dress up!
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I just had my exchange on Thursday, and am currently still wearing the front close sports bra for this first week at least until my 1 week post-op check up on this Thursday. How long should I wait before going to get fitted at Nordstroms? I have the ultra-high mentor gels, and I read on another forum here that the mentors really don't drop and fluff? I am excited about getting to wear pretty bras, but don't want to spend a huge amount until I am sure my size has settled in. I am guessing that I am now about a 36C. Was a 36A before surgery.
I have enjoyed looking at all of your recommendations with links...they all look so pretty! Never had any that pretty when I was just an A.0 -
RckinRobin - I saw your question on whippetmom's thread. You do not have to wait for the drop and fluff to get fitted. I would wait a couple of weeks to get fitted, although some get fitted right away. Make an appointment with a surgical fitter to help ensure you get a good fitter. Keep us posted on how it goes and what you get.
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Rckrobin,Say Whattt? My PS told me that mine will drop and fluff. One side already did drop but has not fluffed much,maybe an 1/8 of an inch if anything.
I got high profile Mentor gels 600cc and they looked like pancakes right after surgery, Now a wk later I guess they are beginning to look like the Vita muffin tops if they were covered in mozzarella and tomato sauce (Yuck),is it that the salines are supposed to drop and fluff but not the gels? My PS calls it "settling". She says it will take them in her estimate on my particular case about 4 mths to "settle" into their final appearance so I should not be too disappointed with the round flat look. Actually they are wider and squarer than the real ones but approx same projection so no wont be happy I went thru all this just get back my stupid small B,large A size and wearing padded underwires and pushups and wonder if I should get augmented like my friends!!!
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I'm not sure it's true that mentor gels don't drop and fluff... its the Allergan 410 gummies that don't drop and fluff MUCH but they DO drop and fluff a little.
As far as getting fitted for a bra... I would ask your PS when he/she thinks you can switch to regular bras. I did not get fitted for regular big girl bras for a month (to let sutures heal) and stayed in the post-surgical bra my PS gave me. Others DO go right to big girl bras (regular bras but I'm being cute)... so I think it depends on what your PS advises and whether you had pocket work, etc (which your PS knows best).
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My PS had me wait a good couple of months after my last surgery. His reasons didn't seem so much to do with the implants and surgery results but he said "You don't need to spend a lot on bras until you're sure all the swelling is gone and can be sure to get ones that fit right". Now that I've started buying "real bras", I can understand his point and appreciate him watching out for my pocketbook! Off to Nordstom again today.
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Thanks so much for the great info! I guess I am just so excited to have those hard expanders out and can't wait to have one of those pretty bras! I go back to my PS on Thursday and will ask him his thoughts. He has a definite opinion on his "work" and so far he has been right I think. I didn't know a thing about ULTRA high profile until he decided while I was in surgery to put those in. I do like the projection so far, I didn't want to lose that part of the TEs. He just told my DH when he was done that he put in something that was fairly new, and I figured out what he put in by looking up the numbers on my card!
I just took a nap and slept on my side for the first time in forever. Oh what a great feeling!0
