August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Hi Everyone!!!
Michelle: Great to hear from you again!
Lizzy: I definitely have a warm flush after lunch every day, and since I read your post last week I have been paying closer attention and have discovered that, yes, I have a warm flush after every meal! So, you are not alone. But mine are still very mild. My thoughts are with you as we approach the anniversary of 911, it must be a very difficult time for you.
As for my nonchalant manner in announcing my daughter's wedding...honestly that is exactly how she told me,,,,,kind of like.....pass the potatoes, oh and by the way we are getting married!
Caroline: Glad to hear that Aidan is making progress. It is amazing what character underwear can accomplish, huh! It is a great thing that you have that advocate on the kid's side. It is a shame that we have to fight so hard and work "within the system" to get what the kids need.
Rachel: I saw your pics on FB, your boys are adorable!! How is it going with getting back to work?
Sweeney: How are the wondergoblins??
Omaz: Did your daughter get her license yet, I think I remember you mentioning that she was going for it?
Cal: I saw those pictures of your town. That flooding looks really bad. Glad you finally got your power on. I hope all this rain over the past two days hasn't flooded you out again.
Not much going on here. Getting ready for my surgery Friday and lamenting the fact that I will have to stop going to the gym. I finally made it to a "normal BMI"! I am down to 148 lbs. from 186 in February. I must admit even though I didn't start exercising to lose weight, it certainly is nice not to be "the fat mom" anymore. But I really am going to miss the gym. I really enjoy the classes and have met a lot of really nice people. Hopefully I will be able to get back on the treadmill in a couple of weeks. Anyway, got a ton of things to do before Friday. Hope everyone is doing well!
Debbi
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Debbi - C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S on losing nearly 40 pounds - WOW!!!! That is fantastic! Good luck on your surgery Friday, I will be thinking of you! My duaghter did get her permit, the machine quit twice and she finally had to take the written test. She is putting off practicing though, which if fine, I just wanted her to get the permit thing out of the way.
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Debbi- I've been the fat mom too and you're right it is much better to not be the fat mom! Congratulations and healing vibes for Friday. (c:0
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Good evening warriors-
I hope everyone is doing well.
Tomorrow I will find out when exactly I am having my next surgery. I know it is this month. I cannot *wait* to get this deflated TE out of my chest. I want to SCRATCH that area! It is regularly itchy but, of course, scratching does nothing. That thing is going to have been in my chest for 15 months by the time it is taken out. Awful...can't wait until it is out.
Ckptry: that is so great that you rewarded him with underwear he will respect!!!!! Very clever! BTW, never did answer your question about the TE business but the previous post sums it up! I am so looking forward to the next surgery.
Sptmm: that is funny that your dd announced her impending matrimonial event with such indifference! Good for her! Honestly, I am sure it is a good move in this interest rate environ. We might never ever see rates this low again in our lives but alas they may be this low for this rest of our lives!!!!!
Thanks for telling me about the hot flashes. As you know, we are in a cold, rainy snap in this part of the country. I put clothes on and take them off ALL day! I go from freezing to sweating all day! I don't know if this part of it ever ends. Oh well...as I always say, it beats the alternative!
Ok, so I am dating myself with this information but today I actually bought the very antiquated *CD*!!!! Yes, an actually disc! In any case, I bought Adele's "21" and it is fantastic. It is sort of like Maroon 5 for me in that I (normally) enjoy the entire CD. I know "Songs About Jane" pretty much by heart and I always find some of the deeper cuts on Maroon 5's albums to be really good. I am finding that with Adele as well. Also, last night I was watching the finale of "America's Got Talent" and the guy who won last year (I did not watch) performed last night. He was really, really good. I am going to google him in a little bit. I am only pretty sure I will buy his "disc" also and will let you all know how that one is!
Have a good evening, girls-
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Sptmm: I totally missed that "fat mom" comment! Don't you just love that people who are naturally thin are regarded as being conscientous monitors of their physical well-being when the fact normally is that they stuff their face and don't workout but are blessed with a good metabolism!??! It is like having extra reverance for someone for being tall or blue-eyed and denouncing those that are short and without blue eyes!!!! Our effing society leaves so much to be desired! It can all be so arbitrary but I am sorry to hear you are having to stop the gym. It will surely only be for a month or so. I know how you feel, it hurts when you have to stop going! Good for you on your success, however. That is just great
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Lizzy - I hope you get the TE out soon.0
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Lizzy you have been much on my mind with September 11th coming up. If you think attending the memorial this year will be too much for you then choose what works best for your own well being. A visit at another time might feel more personal. On the other hand the ceremonies might be healing.
I have experienced both JFK's assasination and September 11th in my lifetime. While JFK's death was hard on me, September 11th was profoundly more difficult. I think it may be because JFK was a political target and civilian innocents were the target of the September 11th murderers. I am not sure.
Question, if you have a bilateral mastectomy does that mean you don't need to take the 5 year antihormonals? Also, does the antihormonal only protect against recurrence in the breasts? How about distant spread? I somehow don't have any info on this. Thanks
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Ginger - From what I have learned the anti-hormonals protect the breast tissue and if any breast cancer cells may have escaped from the breast those cells are strongly discouraged from growing by the anti-hormonals. So, if they work, the anti-hormonals protect from local recurrence, distant recurrence and possibly new primaries.
I am reading 'The Emporer of all Maladies' about cancer and treatment through time and I have to pass along that it is very well written and super interesting.
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Debbi: Congrats!!! 40 pounds is what I need to lose too. Good luck tomorrow.
I'm having a little procedure tomorrow too. I'm getting nipples made and having a mole removed from my right shoulder. Of course, they just called and said my procedure would be at 2 pm. Why can't you ever go early when you have to fast??
I'm glad everyone is ok after the storm. We got tons of rain, but nothing too bad.
Have a good weekend all!
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Lady - I know! My port removal was at 2:30pm, I started gnawing on the sheets.0
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Thanks everyone for your encouragement and well wishes.
Lady: New nipples, sounds great! Will you be completely done then? I am now humbled, however because I was bummed about the fact that I don't have to be at the hospital until 9 and I don't know how I am going to survive those three hours between wake up and 9 without anything to eat...or drink! I have it easy compared to you! Good luck tomorrow.
Lizzy, bet you will be doing quite the dance when they finally take that TE out!! Now, what will you do then, just not get any reconstruction, or do you just wait for a while?
Have a great weekend everyone! Next time we talk, insteady of a boob and a half, I will have a boob and a quarter...LOL!
Debbi
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Best wishes tomorrow Debbi!!!0
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Good evening warriors!
I hope you all are well. Where oh where did summer go?!
MY PS is sooo busy I can't have the TE removed until late October
I was kind of stunned when she said that. She is very popular, however, and so I understand. I am just disappointed I am looking at another 5 weeks...gadzooks! Ginger: No on the bmx and tamox question. I had a bmx and am still on tamox. They insist it is good for us even when we are boobless!
As for 9/11, I want to go to the memorial in Manhattan, as friends from the city are encouraging me to do so but, to be honest, I am getting a little nervous about these terrorist threats. Who knows what they are up to and I have had enough of their nonsense to last me a life time. I think what I will do is before the Yankee game in a few weeks, my friend and I are going to go down there and check it out. I will post my pics.
Sptmm: 1 ¼ boobs!!! It is so laughable that I have gotten very used to NO boobs!!!! As for me and my boobs, I am getting recon but no TEs. She is either going to use Brava OR we are going to do lipo and just create some boobs there! In fact, that is what she is doing this next surgery and I will have bedraggled DRAINS again! I guess those will be in for probably 6 weeks or so and then finally, finally I might be nearer to getting a date to have nipple recon and then, perhaps by my 42nd birthday in March (was 40 when I started this!), I will have headlights again!!!!! What will be very nice is after this next surgery, if all goes well, I will be able to get back to a working, normal life!!!! This will make me very happy. I am not the kind of woman who likes to sit around as only grapes ferment, not human beings! My value has NOT been increasing with this bc drama!
I sure hope your surgery goes well. With us being so close to the Sound, you might want to get TEs at some point as they are built-in flotation devices and after that last hurricane, might not be a bad idea! I wish you the best. I hope they get clean margins and satisfy the need for going in again. Deb, I have been meaning to tell you also that you are not the only one who had to think about work and your health when considering bmx. I had the bmx for the exact same reasons you did not which is wanting to get back to a working life again and not have to take a bunch of time off etc... Unfortunately my plan did not go as well as your's! My intentions however were to get them lopped off and go on about my life. I never knew about the infection business and all that other mess. I am petrified I might get infected again....so scared. The PS mentioned it today. I have to be very, very careful this time.
All I can say is it will be nice to have some boobs and never have to wear a bra again! Speaking of which, it has been a year and a half since I wore a bra. I was going through my dresser a few days ago and came upon that bra drawer!!! I started laughing and said "you jokers are on your way to the trash!!!!!" That felt good! I am really not a bra-burner but lugging those melons around in those bras is not something I ever enjoyed!
Lady: are you going for recon with a PS? Just wondering. Some ladies on this site alerted me to the idea of tattoos! Some women actually get tattoos of nipples rather than recon. I will do recon with the PS. I hope you end up with a nice, new look!
Well, the sandman is finally coming but he always has a fight with mother nature and then she turns up my heat and so it goes all night!! The sandman vs. mother nature...it is a wicked battle!
Oh, I must give you all a good laugh!! Tonight I took my sister to the cemetery and she was not happy with the way they seem to not be working correctly with the weeds around her late husband's headstone. I offered to go back to the car and get my little travel tool box so we could clean up the grass etc... she had been kneeling down pulling weeds when I stepped in a hole and there went my toolbox and I wound up on my back, looking at the sky, laughing hysterically!!! I had a fabulous fall!!!! My sister was asking me what I was doing laying on the ground when, upon closer inspection, she realized I was laughing!!!! I did not see that hole in the ground and I promise you all, that added to my glamorous spill!!!!!!!
Night all-
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Lizzy: ROTFL.....flotation device...thats a good one. Never know, I may need one for Tropical Storm Maria. You must watch where you walk in a cemetary....don't want to be falling in the wrong hole!!! LOL.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Debbi
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Lizzy, I'm with Debbi, I'd be wary of falling in holes in a cemetery - too funny! I see my ps next week for my 6 mo follow up (my implant exchange was in March). We're supposed to discuss nipples. We had talked about my skin being very thin, and that when he's done 'twist and stitch' nipples in the past on women like me they have flattened out. I told him there was no way I was doing a skin graft, just too much pain for too little gain for me personally. I thought I'd do the tatoos, but to be honest there is some rippling on my cancer side and I can feel there is just a very thin layer of skin. Worried a tattoo would pop the implant, but we'll see what he says. Hopefully the science will keep progressing and when these wear out in 10 years I can get just grow new and improved ones ;-)
Carolyn
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Good day, warriors-
Our weather in the northeast is just lovely! Oh, and I got so happy I almost peed myself when I found out VERIZON finally launched that phone I want!!!!!!!! So excited! The Blackberry Torch has come to Verizon at long, long last! That made my day...it truly does come down to the little things, doesn't it?!
Sptmm: yes, now *&^%$ Maria! CT is like floodville these days and it has *never* been like this. I am stunned that the lake I live near did not come to visit! So, yes, get those flotation devices!
Ckptry: Carolyn, 10 years from now you will probably be able to grow your new boobs on the windowsill! I agree with you and the thinking that the tattooing would pop the implant but apparently there are some very talented tattoo artists who also have had bc and donate their talents at a reduced fee etc... to those similarly afflicted. More to this point, these women that do the tattooing know the market and what we deal with in the TE arena. For me I would not perpetually want the "Barbie" look. I would prefer the pain of skin grafting to recreate nipples later. I am so glad there are some options for me that do not require TEs as I am too much of a tom boy to deal with them!
I have to say, I am not looking forward to DRAINS again...here we go! If an old lady is about to take a fall in front of me this time, so sorry but I CANNOT help!
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Liz I hope you are ok . I was living and working in NYC 9/11 and all of this coverage brings back some painful memories. I hope that that everyone is safe this weekend.
Carolyn
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Ckptry: thanks for thinking of me. It is awful...I have had goose bumps all night. I worked on 34 and 72 and was supposed to be at Oppenheimer on 48 that morning. I also worked for Lehman in WFC. I was stuck in Dulles during a snowstorm and met one of the architects from the firm that built WFC. The firm was actually based in CT but, in any case, he told me because lower Manhattan was man-made, they built WFC on ball bearings, as buildings on the West Coast are. The reason they did this with WFC was because of the land it is built on. Also, it was built so that should there be a disaster, the building would not come right down. I am confident that is *the* only reason WFC is still standing. I was going out with a guy who had night classes in WTC and I used to walk across the catwalk and would meet him, he would have coffee for me and then I would go back to work and he would take class and we would meet later in Tall Ships or Moran's.
My friend that works for Martha Stewart in Midtown as well as other friends that worked in Midtown, and those who worked in the buildings the planes passed over on their way to crash into WTC, all said the midtown buildings shook when those planes passed overhead.
One night after 9/11 I was at a Bank of America event at 14 Wall. I was staying in Midtown. Myself and 2 others, who I did not know, took a cab back to midtown and we were all feeling no pain. When that cab driver, who was from the Middle East, drove me by that gaping hole that took my boyfriends life, killed countless friends and all but ruined my business, I have a verbal, liquor-induced exorcism all the way to midtown. I really felt bad but I just lost it. When I got to my hotel room, on the 63rd flr, I was talking to my friend Tony and I started flipping out because I could just make out red lights outside the window of my hotel room. All I thought in that moment was they were lights on a plane and it was going to crash into my hotel. It was, in fact, the GE building shooting fireworks off the top which was a nightly event for a while. I could not make out through the sheer panels exactly what was happening. It was all horrible.
On a much lighter note, my friend Rich and I were in an Irish bar in Midtown (hard to find!) watching a great band and all of the sudden this rather loud man walks in, with a bloody fist and screaming "I just punched out an Afghani cabbie!!!!" The whole place went crazy, people were buying him drinks, I was playing little Ms. Drunk Ass nurse trying to clean up his hand! BTW, just for the record, I was not "with" Rich as he is gay...well most of the time he is gay!
I got my series 7 license while working in WTC and I still have my business cards, letter head, note pads etc.. with the WTC address on them. I am just devastated. I am going to post my 9/12/01 photoes on Flickr this weekend and will let you all know when I make them public.
There are a number of fairs in CT this weekend and other events but I think I will be mesmerized, lost in my reverie. Close friends from NYC want me to come in but, as I said, I am not ready for that and am concerned about terrorism. It is all such a real possibility now and if I was not just coming off a bc battle, I would go. I just don't have it in me to go, be in a terrorist attack and have to scramble for my life.
This will be a cathartic weekend for me.
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Hey popping in for a quick moment- school is kicking my butt LOL
It all about juggling the home and school stuff
I am hoping everyone on the east coast is doing well and not being effected by the rain, please send some our way! We are dry as a bone down here!
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My youngest sister worked in building 5. I'd met her so many times in the concourse after work and never thought to ask which building she worked at. That morning I was terrified as coworkers tried to track down where her company was located; I couldn't get through to anyone by phone. She was ok, she said they thought it was an earthquake at first and huge boulders started hitting the windows. She walked home to Brooklyn with thousands and she said people were running out to give them water or offer them phones. She said it didn't really hit her until so many people called her that night and were crying with relief that she was ok. One of the surgeons I worked with was from Beirut. He was a really nice guy. I felt bad for him ; he was crying the day of the attacks and some patients did not want to see him after that because of his name. There were photos people put up in phone booths and stores and ouitside churches for their missing, so sad.
Carolyn
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Lizzie: I'll get tattoos too ... my PS does it in stages. He does the recon with the implants. Then waits for them to "settle" before he does the nipples. Then you go back to the office and a nurse tattoos on the aerolas. The PS cuts skin in a triangle on either side of where the nipple goes and twists it to make a nipple. It was an easy procedure. I was awake for most of it, drifted off a little while he was numbing me up, then they let up on the drugs, and I was awake. I don't know what the nipples look like yet. When I saw them yesterday, before they bandaged them, they were purple! The nurse said that was from the marker he used to mark me up. My husband was disappointed that he hasn't gotten to see the purple nipples yet, but I can't take off the bandages and shower until tomorrow.
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mommi - I totally understand. I was not able to tolerate tamox but I did ask my onc about getting "other one off" like you, and she said that it was not adivsed. That tamoxifen was really to prevent mets and not a second primary in the other side. Didn't make much sense to me - to me, breast cancer risk increases in the other side once you've had it .....she didn't get what I was saying. ACK! But I did tell her ONE blip and it's gone - I will not have another biopsy if something goes wrong- I want the whole thing off. zero tolerance.
ANd yes, there literally is not one place on my body that I haven't thought I've had mets -- it's awful, isn't it.....
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calamity, me too. Everytime I cough or especially feel any sort of itch on a boob I get afraid. My Dad died of lung cancer so a single cough is enough to make me shake inside.
Lizzy I send you healing prayers for your aching heart.
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Good evening, warriors-
Saw this old rock band from the 70's, "Ambrosia," tonight! They were good. My sister lives in a shoreline town where 25 beachfront homes were lost during the hurricane. I can only imagine the town was able to commission "Ambrosia" to play the Fall Festival because of how badly the hurricane damaged that town. They have been on tour this summer....I just can't believe they played on the town green!!
Ckptry: I LOVED the concourse!!!!! In fact, I would get off the 4/5 at Fulton, go into WTC 7 (where Border's was), take the escalator down to the concourse and walk the concourse when I was working at Lehman as well as in WTC. I used to LIVE on "The Beanery" which was this coffee cart, last stop before you crossed the catwalk into WTC, and have their mocha coffee and like 10 chocolate covered espresso beans! This is what I called "lunch" in my NY days! I also loved, loved, loved walking out into WTC plaza after coming from WFC to head across to Century 21 to the 4/5. On some Fall nights it was just majestic. Beautiful purple skies and then the concert series in the summer in WTC plaza...always good stuff. I also miss watching the Yankees roll through the "canyons" from the catwalk into WFC. I have many, many memories in the entire lower Manhattan/Wall St area. My heart breaks thinking about it. We probably passed each other on more than one occasion! My family could not reach me either b/c of the cell phone problems and they all that I was in the north tower working for Oppenheimer that day. They thought I was dead.
I worked in 1 WTC and briefly on a Merck project in 2 WTC. All of the years I worked I was in 1 WTC. I should have been in 1 WTC that day also. I know I was not spared so I could stay here and die from bc! I believe my purpose has not yet been recognized so, in long, I don't think I am scheduled to check out yet!
There was such an energy down there, such a vitality....it sickens me what has happened.
Ginger: thank you dear...I need it! I was watching a soldier on MSNBC talk about how he feels like he has no emotions because a close soldier friend had been killed right next to him and just at that moment he started bawling. He said he can't think about it, cry or show emotion because he will fall apart, as he was doing, and how he has to be strong and be a good example for the other soldiers. I kind of feel like if I think about that entire tragedy I could cry for hours and hours so I really, much like that soldier, just don't think about it much. For me it is better that way.
Calamity and mommichelle: my father died of lung cancer and he kept telling me "I have this cough I can't get rid of" and a few weeks later we found out why. In any case, I have this dry cough that I can't get rid of these days and it bothers me because, as we all know, bc likes to spread to brain, bones, lungs and liver. I constantly dx myself for mets also. I don't think that will ever change. I even went to the eye doctor this past week and because a woman my best friend works with who had bc had it spread to her eye (not joking), I was paranoid to go to the eye doctor! It is an affliction we all have the dubious task of carrying with us every day.
Lady: purple nipples?! Aren't you fancy, shmancy!!! The tattoos are pretty popular. I am glad your's are done. You must report back after the reveal!
Well, time for me to hit the hay so the hot flashes can start!
Every day is a blessing, all. We must make the most of each.
Happy trails-
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Lizzy, my thoughts and prayers are with you as you make it through this very difficult day. Hope you are blessed with a busy day, so you don't have to much free time to think.
Debbi
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Lizzy thinking of you today. Hope the day is all right and that you can remember all the good memories.0 -
Lizzy - thinking of you today too!!
Debbi - How are you feeling?
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Hi Omaz, thanks for thinking of me. I am doing pretty well. The pain is not too bad, just taking Advil..I hate those pain meds, make me feel dizzy. I have virtually no breast left at all...LOL...and about a six inch long incision that extends from my nipple all the way under my arm! They say I can't drive, so my son and I walked a mile today to the pizza place for lunch, just had to get some exercise in there. It was a nice leisurely walk on a beautiful day.
Anyway, all in all, I am feeling pretty good. Thanks.
Debbi
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Good evening warriors-
To all of you: thanks for thinking of me today. I appreciate it.
I just can't help but think what tomorrow might hold with these terrorist threats. I can only imagine, with their threat extending to 9-12, perhaps they would prefer to do something on Monday when the most damage can be done with everyone being back at work. Oh well, just like bc, this is another never-ending negative force I must deal with for the rest of my life.
Sptmm: I was thinking of you this weekend. I am just so self-absorbed with this 9-11 stuff and I actually did a tune-up on a sports car that I have today just to keep my mind busy! I am so glad you are feeling well, though. No surgery is ever easy and as much as we think we are going to bounce right back, it never really works out that way. I laude you, however, for walking a mile to the pizza place! That is a great way to work off some pizza! Good thinking. I hope you do well this week and feel a bit better each day. The scarring: I was not too happy to find out she will be cutting both sides. It healed so well on the side where the TE still is that you could not even tell I was ever cut. It will be another year before that goes away. We are going to be all scarred up for a while, Deb...glad it is getting cold again on that note!!!!!!!
I did keep busy today, though. I try not to think about all that carnage. I could not stop myself from going to my 9-11 memorabilia, however, and found an email from a friend of mine at Lehman that said he was appalled to look out the window and literally "see" people running, on foot, up the West Side Highway. I also found releases from my firm telling us the next steps to take and an actual communication from the NYSE detailing the unprecedented shut down. I did not go through all of it...too upsetting.
Happy trails and sweet dreams to all!
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Debbi I'm glad you're feeling good enough to walk a mile! Sorry the surgery was so extensive. I hope everything turns out fine.
Carolyn
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