August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Hello everyone.
Omaz: I'm very happy to hear that your friend is doing better. Especially glad to hear that they're going to start weaning her off the respirator, because, based on my limited knowledge of the disease, it is usually usually either dysautonomia or pulmonary complications that can be fatal, so I take it as a good sign that they believe it is safe for her to start breathing on her own again. That's good news! Do they have any idea how her sympathetic or parasympathetic nervous systems are working, or if there is damage there? I also know that the paralysis or semi-paralysis of the autonomic nervous system can and often is reversible. I am hoping and praying for the best.
Sptmm: Sorry if I sounded too abrasive or nasty. My friends aren't the ones that say things like that, and I do understand that people are well-meaning; it's just hard to hear sometimes. I guess I was just venting a little, but I'll be more careful about how I say thingsI really don't mean to offend. Oh, and just FYI, I'm not in menopause now, and it wasn't brought on by chemo. I've been post menopausal since I was 33.
As for the truncal lymphedema, you're right that your doctor is wrong. There is most definitely such a thing as truncal lymphedema. And, please, if you think you have it, get yourself to a physical or occupational therapist who specializes in LE. If LE is treated early, it stands a much lower chance of getting worse. And remember, LE can occur or flare up from something as innocuous as a mosquito bite, so if you do everything you can now, you will thank yourself later.
Good luck with the meditation.
Tex: I too am very glad you're getting a second opinion. Clearly you know that the fusion surgeries and "filler" approaches can end up putting the patient in more pain than they were already in. One of the problems with seeing OS's is that they are surgeons. Very good surgeons, but still surgeons, which all too often means they look for surgical treatments where non-surgical treatments might be better for the patient. I might even consult a chiropractor or a physical therapist who specializes in back/neck injuries. I've known people who have had surgery for ruptured disks and done fine, some who have been worse off for it, and some who sought other kinds of treatments and did well.
Yeah for you on the bio tes!!
Rachel: I don't know what your son looks like, but I can just see him sprinting happily past all the "old people" and still being able to run home! Pretty cool!
Lizzy: Thanks for the info on lifting. I'm going to keep ahold of that for myself. To tell you the truth, I've never really done any serious lifting, but I'd like to. Mostly to help my running. Running is much better and safer if you have a strong core and back. Also I'd just like to be leaner, and stronger. It seems like chemo has taken so much muscle tissue and muscle strength. I want to get it back. I've always prided myself on being strong for my size. I remember one time about two years ago, when I was at work with my husband on some film shoot, and he and two of his assistants were trying to lift this very heavy treadmill that they use basically to move props smoothly across some backdrop or something, onto the back of my dh's truck. My dh is a big guy, strong, one of the other two guys was pretty slight, and the other was pretty normal, probably fairly strong. Anyway, they couldn't lift it high enough to get it over the bump on the inside of the lift gate. Brian said they needed to quit because he is very careful not to let anyone on his crew get injured. So they went away, and I went up to Bubba (that's what we call each other), and asked him to let me give it a try. He said he thought it was too heavy and he didn't want me to hurt myself. I told him that I know how to lift things to avoid injury, and that if it did feel too heavy I would quit. So, guess what, the two of us had it in the truck in less that a minute. Sorry for the long story. I'm not trying to show off. I guess I'm just kind of reminiscing about what my body used to be capable of, not to mention running marathons. Anyway, my point ir really just that I want to do everything I can to get that strength and endurance back. I know it may not ever be the way it was, but I plan on getting as strong and as fit as I can.
Lizzy, thanks too for asking about how I'm doing and about the LE. The answer to the first is not very well, really. But I'll fill you in later when I haven't already gone on so long. LE is still a daily struggle.
Hope everyone has a great day!
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wherria- there is no limit to how much we can type feel free to fill us in
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Tex - I'd look into Trigger Point therapy - the Trigger Point Workbook is absolutely invaluable here! I Have two copies and loan one out when needed ! You can get it on amazon, and there are many tips online - just google Trigger Point therapy - you can do it by yourself. It really helped me when my back was bad - now that I've been lifting and dragging (in the basement - trying to organize and getting winter clothes out!) my shoulders are sore - using the tennis ball against the wall on my back is imperative before bed now if I don't want to wake up locked up!
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Tex I think the second opinion is a good idea. Back surgery is nothing to enter into lightly, my mom went through it and it's a difficult recovery.
All this back pain advice is so timely, my back has just seized up and I have to be on a 26 hour plane ride to Kenya on Monday ( for work). I'll be trying that tennis ball idea, that's for sure!0 -
Sweeney....wow....that is one hell of a business trip. I was complaining when I had to fly to Minnesota every other week for a couple of months for a project. Have a great flight and take a nice comfy pillow for your back!
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P.s. Sad to hear of the passing of Steve Jobs...as a friend of mine said....he never let cancer define him. Damn cancer.
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Me too on the Steve Jobs news. I find I'm really saddened by cancer deaths now, they aren't easy to shake from my mind. Jack Layton's death had me in tears way beyond what it should have. For the American contingent Jack Layton is a Canadian politician who died a sudden death.
As for the work trip it doesn't end at Kenya...by November 11th I'll have travelled to Seoul, Jakarta, Hong Kong, Johannesburg, Harare (Zimbabwe) and London. It is a CRAZY month for travel. Will try and post from these spots!0 -
Just a quick check in to say hello. We leave in the morning to go to Colorado to see my brother, we come back Monday. I'm so ready to get out of here and go do something fun!!
Omaz: Sorry about your friend, glad to hear there's a little progress.
Sweeney: Wow, cool job that takes you to such exotic places.
Love and prayers to you all. Talk next week.
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Have a great trip Lady!
Stay safe Sweeney!! Are you Bond, Sweeney Bond?
Rachel - What a cute new picture!
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Sweeney Bond!
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i watched courageous over the weekend and strongly reccommend seeing it
Anyhow there was a line in the movie that said "dont be angry at the time you lost (the future), t greatful of the time you had" or something along the lines...
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Good day my wonderful warriors!
Ok, the memory thing is hitting critical mass! Yesterday at the grocery store I left $200 lying there, at the end of the self-help area!!!!! Thankfully I live in an economically stable area but in this economy I was lucky I realized what I did before I left the store. It is so sad....I just took it out of my wallet when I was putting my card back in and my receipt and then just left it there and walked away! It can easily be inferred I need a keeper!!!!!
Tex: WT and you know what the third letter is!!!! The onc won't refer you? Geesh, called the orthoknife and ask for a referral! That will get you nowhere fast.
Wherria: don't put limits on what you type. If you process quickly and type fast, length is a byproduct. I am sorry to hear the LE is not going too well. I am going in for surgery in a few week s and they are cutting near the armpit on both sides. I read that any disruption of that armpit area is tantamount to developing LE. I sure hope that does not happen.
How are your dogs doing?! I love animals. Just yesterday I fed the ground hogs, some squirrels, a stray cat and donated 2 big bags of cat food to the local humane society. I guess I am a wasp because I like animals more than people!!!!!!! Just joking, girls!
Whitney, I have a devastating story of how Wonder Woman over here decided to try to negotiate the treadmill, by myself, the other night....I am not even going to tell you all what I did!!!! Consequently you will be that strong again. Plus, and I hate to say this but, because you put on a few pounds, lifting is going to help you be able, get stronger and look smaller. Also, because you are not at your thinnest, you will now use lifting as a way to decrease and squeeze the bloating water and crap out of your muscles and tear them down only to build them up stronger. Bottom line, a lot of women avoid lifting because they don't want to get *big* -huge fallacy- but as you are now on your way back down, it is the perfect solution for you and it will be make your foundation much, much stronger. I am happy for you. Also, any questions, the same applies to you and everyone else here, I will happy to answer them.
A good, remedial, easy-to-understand guide on exercises for every body part is "Getting Stronger." That was my bible when I started some 17 years ago.
I will chime in with you on the ignorant comments issue. People just toss out ridiculous statements but I genuinely believe that comes from a place of caring and not knowing what else to say. I know it can be frustrating but I always consider the source and respect the fact that they are trying their best to say something, if not anything, comforting. At the same time, it is hard for us to hear over and over and over again!!!! Whaaaaaaa!
Calamtykel: I LOVE THE NEW AVATAR!!!!! So adorable!
Sweeney: 26 hours? Gadzooks! I guess all you Canadian girls change in phone booths! One of the reasons I won't go back to Japan, since 9/11, is because of the flight. Of course, for work, I would have to however.
Rachel: he will be sorely missed. Look up "Stanford Commencement Speech 2005" if you have interest in his profundity. He was a remarkable person.
Omaz: I agree that this Sweeney character seems to be leading a bond-esque, globe-trotting life! Good call!!!!!!!
I know you all are on the edge of your seats over the Yankee game tonight!!!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOOO!!!!! I can't wait for the pre-game to start! This is beyond fantastic AND I have been watching between my index and middle fingers at times in case I have to shut the blinds fast!!!!!!!!!!
Went to the dentist....a cool $4000 to *fix* my cracked crown and that is WITH good insurance! They are giving me a fake tooth, man! Some fake chops! My ex told me his dentist wanted to make him a tooth from cow bone!!!!! Gross...gross...you heard me say ex, right?! That is all I had to hear! As much as I was beyond attracted to him, to the point where it was hard to keep my hands off of him(!!!), a tooth made from cow bone I was not having! Consequently that is not why I broke up with him...at least not all of that! There was something unsettling about being so attracted to someone....very unsettling and control freaks don't like unsettling!!!! Plus he as outrageously wealthy and thought he was a master of the universe...alas I digress!
OK, I am going to Walmart to hear more stories about how "site to store" is filled with lies!!!! I told them yesterday "Site to Store" is not filled with lies and computers, as this is not 1977, are more reliable than people so my summation is only people are filled with LIES! I don't think they liked my math!!!
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woohoo, last herceptin today (please God) !!!! Hired a babysitter b/c we have 3 hrs of back to school night tonight, but will try to celebreate next weekend:-)
Carolyn
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Congratulations Carolyn, that is awesome news!!
And a very happy Canadian Thanksgiving to all of you! It's our turkey weekend up here:)0 -
Oh yeah....HAPPY CANADIAN THANKSGIVING jokers!!!! It is so cold in Canada those turkeys are probably lining up to get killed!
Ckptry: Congratulations!!!!! I am so happy for you! I know why you got a babysitter tonight! I *know* you are going to the Yankee game! Please, keep your stories for the kids!
This is a little bit of a sad story but, for reasons unknown, a number of my friends are VERY religious and I am a total pagan!! Seriously, I am loosely Irish Catholic. In any case, a very good friend in FL told me about a year ago he was dxd with some sort of stomach or pancreatic cancer. I never heard anymore from him about it. I failed to ask anymore about it because I figured he would tell me as things unfolded. Tonight he tells me his stomach was distended and he was in a lot of pain. I asked how the cancer situation was going and he said he is not going conventional medicine and is praying it will go away.... I told I had to get off the phone. Either he is BSing or he is nuts. Please, to all of you who are uber religious, don't take offense at this. I am just stunned and I don't know what to say to him. Another friend told me, just before I went for my bmx, and as a result of them not being able to find it on a test or something (I forget) she said "maybe you are cured...I have been praying for you and maybe it is gone." I reminded her I would be having surgery just the same quite soon!
Finally, a very close friend is a pharmacist therefore she fully embraces modern medicine obviously. In any case her neighbor, espousing the power of prayer, said his sister in India had AIDS and that God was going to take it away from her through prayer and herbs. Needless to say, she is dead and only about 3 months after finding out and that is because they adamantly refused any medical assistance.
It is a frightening trend. My *friend* from FL I think is either lying about having cancer so he can tell me when he has the next test that he is cancer-free and that is because god cured him. I think he is full of *s* about the whole thing and it is another opportunity for him to try to demonstrate to me how if we would get married and I let him show me the way to the promised land, how I, too, could be saved. This one is a 5 alarm clinger, btw!!!!! I asked him the other night if he has asked god to send him a woman?!?! I don't why these guys like me?!
Did I mention I like animals more than people?!
Go Yanks!
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Is the memory thing related to menopause?? If you remember my bleeding stories - I bled forever, then had another period two weeks later - bled forever again. My nutr. put me on chaste tree extract to stop the bleeding. It stopped that same night and has not returned, thank GOD - I thought I was going to be bled dry after all that!
But now it's been two months without a period - it's dry and I'm having hot flashes. I'm also wiped out and yeah- the MEMORY thing! I dont' think this is chemo brain since it seems worse now. I have a feeling I'm pretty much headed down the meno highway now - when are you considered out of "peri-menopause" and in actual "menopause?"
I find it depressing - I'm only 42, BUT also a very welcome relief. My periods have been horrible for the past few years and since chemo, forget it - I must have been so totally anemic after bleeding for like 20 days out the month of August!
The avatar is a 40's designer hat and matching gloves I bought at a garage sale -my DD was having fun wtih the camera.
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Calamtykel: mine is probably menopause, tamoxifen and I am still bleeding from my nose and ass so I am sure that is not helping. Plus my recently bloodwork was weird. After this next surgery I think I am going to have to get a second and probably at MSK. All the of the sudden this afternoon I felt wicked dizzy and the hot flashes are just a p-i-t-a. Althou gh, and I have been reminded, I need to be grateful to be alive! Did I mention $4000 for my oral surgery?! Thanks chemo..I am so grateful! They said the crown let loose because the tooth underneath was weakened from chemo.
That is just awful that you bled for nearly 2/3 of August. No one has any answers for us. The new trend is "this is life now!!!!!" As for the memory thing, it is bad as is the alternating numbness still. The most alarming thing cognitively is what I like to call lazy brain...it is like some "push me here I come" thing with my mind sometimes. I think, like Deb said, it could still be chemo and she notices much more clarity as of the 1 year mark. Maybe we just need more time.
Your dd captured a great photo!!!!
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Kel: Sorry about the meno symptoms. (And by the way, I have come TO HATE THE WORD SYMPTOM!) Anyway, Kel, the answer to your question about peri vs menopause is that when your ovaries finally stop producing eggs you are menopausal. What I don't know is What's the difference between menopause and postmenopause?? As I have mentioned before I entered menopause when I was 33 -- right about the time my dh and I were wanting to start a family. But seven years later I still have night sweats and hot flashes. The memory stuff is hard to sort out for me, because I have had so many psychiatric medications that can cause memory loss, and about 60+ electroconvulsive therapy treatments. Add menopause, especially at a young age to that, and who knows what all is contributing to memory loss. Kel, I hear you about being somewhat relieved, but also somewhat saddened by it. I can identify with the sadness part instantly. My fervent hope for you is that you have built the family you wanted and are consoled by that.
For all of us: let us not forget that stress can be a major cause of memory loss, particularly short term memory loss (Lizzy, like leaving cash laying around graocery stores!)
I imagine it must be very difficult for those of you whose menopause was either brought about because of chemotherapy, or at least has changed your hormonal needs, productions, and receptions. It must be hard to figure out what *SYMPTOMS* ARE COMING FROM WHERE. I have that problem too, but not related to menopause. My mother is 72. She had a hysterectomy when she was about 37 because of suspicious looking fibroids. They took her ovaries too (not sure why) and so she was catapulted into a menopause that was pretty much the worst menopause I could imagine. Her two sisters were the same way. Strangely their mother wasn't. But given that I'm 7 years out, I'm starting to worry that I'm going to step right into my mother's footprints. Of course my mother never exercises. She was a professional woman, very high up on the corporate ladder, giving presentations too various boards, etc. Anyway, not too long ago, I asked her what the worst part of menopause has been for her, and she very quickly replied that she was often embarrassed in from of her colleagues. She was at the front end of the feminists' climb into positions of upper management, and still had to struggle against the old boys network, yada, yada. I'm sure you get the picture. But, she said that one day she just decided screw this. I'm a woman who is undergoing a very physically demanding, and for that matter, revealing natural change. So she told me about a time when she was adressing the combined boards of directors from all of their international locations, and she's trying to pitch some idea. But in the middle of her presentation, which was about 90 minutes long, she felt a hot flash coming on. She started to get nervous, and as she became hotter, and the redness of her face and the sweat running down her face, taking mascara with it, she became really embarassed. Mostly, though, she worried a lot about whether this groups of old white men would take her seriously. So, like the stong woman she is, she stopped her presentation, said, "I'm sorry for interupting the flow of our meeting time but I will be right back. She left the board room, went to her office and picked up a magazine. Back in the board room, she stto up at the podium again, and said, these days, my body seems to have a mind of its own, and it was making me hot. With that, she resumed her lecture, but this time waving herself with the magazine. And the best partis that no one seemed phased by it. There were no comments. She was overwhelmingly successful with her multi-million dollar proposal. I have great admiration for my mother, and I believe what she did that day, given the infancy of feminism at that time, was extremely brave, and perhaps was one small part in helping other women in the company advance and be taken seriously. However, I think things might have happened very differently, and perhaps the outcome had been much less favorible if she hadn't stood there with the confidence and strength that are simply inherant characteristics of hers. Self confidence goes a long way. It won't make menopausal symptoms go away, but it might help in dealing with them. but here she is at 72 still having severe nightsweats and hot flashes, and so am I. My husband siezes this as an opprotunity both to push at me a little and at my mom at the same time. When I tell him i fear my post-menopausal life is going to be just like Mom's, he screams, "No!! You promised! You said when we got married -- it was practically in our wedding vows, that you would NEVER turn into your mother! Lol.
Well, once again, I am out of time. I'm on my way to the hospital for a 10:45 CT scan. Bleck!
Goodnight, friends
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KUDOS to STONYFIELD yogurt! I picked some up yesterday - not only does their yogurt not contain bovine growth hormones (which we know lead to excessive mammary cell growth) but now they are using stevia as a partial sweetener --it still contains sugar, but they haven't gotten on the aspartame or Splenda bandwagon. And part of their "pink" proceeds go right here to BC.org! Yay stonyfield! I indulged in Chocolate Underground yesterday. Still 29 grams of sugar......but it was yummy!
About the menopause, I know I'm not ovulating. I did ovulate a couple of times between April and July but then it just turned into weird erratic bleeding, like my body couldn't figure out what was happening so it decided to give me a constant period. I will say it is a relief not to be bleeding anymore! The chaste tree extract really worked fast and efficiently in shutting down the signal to continue bleeding.....but now I just think I'm in menopause and I'm trying to get used ot this new feeling.
I agree about the slow brain - I'm being treated again by my nutr. for lyme so things have improved greatly, but it is SO hard to get movitated to do stuff, and i find myself just spinning from one thing to another. Exercise is harder too. I think I miss my estrogen.......but Lizzy like you said, what can you do - it could be far worse and I"m not going to complain.
Going apple picking today w/ a friend--a beautiful fall day outside then it will be a LOT of baking for me - mom brought me 20 pounds of apples from a farm stand and then we'll pick more today. Last week we picked 29 pounds and they're almost gone. My kids are addicted to my apple dumplings!
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I guess i am gonna go out and buy me some stoneyfiled! I love the facty some of their proceeds come here to where I have often turned for adivce and gain knowledge!
Lizzy- re your friends conversation- um i dont think he is nuts per se but i do think he may to read his bible a bit better. Oh dont get me wrong i am pretty religous and i have prayed for God to cure me, but I also pray that he leads me to the right doctors that will know how to treat me and i've pray for the comfort for myself and my family as i am going through all this, but never once did i think i am going to stop all conventional treatments and God will cure me if i pray for it. Look at Job he prayed and was still faced with so much stuff in his life. Prayer isnt the cure of our disease, but it goes a long way. Remember we pray in according to God's will. The human condition right now is to die (thanks to adam and eve) When i found out i was NED i first gave thanks to God and also my doctors, but i know without the guidence i got from prayer it would have been a diffrent outcome. I could go deep into this LOL but my heard does go out to your friend and his misguided belief that God will cure him if he prays hard enough.
kel- you picked those up at a yard sale? very cute find!
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This is such a rollercoaster. I was up b/c my last herceptin tx was yesterday and last night at the conference the teachers said both kids were doing well. Aidan's teacher said he is kind and tries very hard. Anyway ,Caitlin goes to afternoon prek and we arrived a few minutes early . She asked to go to the playground and when we got there the older kids were still out having recess. I saw Aidan but didn't call him. He was playing soccer. As I watched one kid ran past and gave him a dirty look and called him stupid. The ball came near him and when he tried to run with it another kid ran into him and elbowed him on the side on prupose. Aidan stood there and watched them run away. I went over and hugged him and asked if he was okay. Suddenly the aides and sp ed teacher were swarming me - who was I , why was I there. I said I'm Aidan's mom and I just saw him hurt by antoher child. She said you can't be hear b/c of safety concerns. I said Aidan's safety is my only concern, and I was concerned that none of them had responed. She said I know it's upsetting but he's supposed to tell us. I told Aidan if anyone laid a finger on him to make sure they call me. I turned around after I was halway to the front of the school and the aide and the teacher were talking, so I made a point of looking back and forth between them an Aidan standing by himslef. Only then did the teacher walk over to talk to him. 9It's not Aidan's teacher; they called her the special ed teacher at the meeting last night but I don't know who she works with).
I went into the principals office. they said she was in a meeting, so I left all the gory details and said Colum would be calling to speak to her. (I started crying as I relayed the stoyr so i figured him angry would be better). I said we've tried and Aidan can't understand 'tell somebody'. He is afraid that the same kids who are being cruel to him will not be his friends if he tells.. I accidentally found out he was beiing ostracized towrds the end of the year in kwrap; I'm not going to let it happen again. And I know kids can be cruel, but I wanted to shove that little bully right back!
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ckptry - Congratulations on finishing herceptin!! I would have been so upset seeing that as well. One boy mercilessly teased my daughter in 7th grade and even though she tried multiple tactics to get rid of his attentions nothing worked. Some days I would pick her up and she would start crying right away about the gross things he said that day. Fortunately he goes to another school now. I am glad you saw it thought because now maybe something will change.0
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Ckptry: kids are wicked cruel, plain and simple. I just can't help but wonder what the long-term effects of such treatment is going to have on his self-esteem. I would have been beyond pissed at what I saw. I probably would have wandered up to those negligent a-hole aides and asked if there eyes were working. Carolyn, I know this is a stupid question but have patience with me as I don't have kids, as you know. Is there any sort of "1/2" home schooling situation where they go to school only for a few hours per day to be socialized but are also taught in the home? I am just wondering because I know it is important for them to get the social experience but at the same time this can't be good for him. I am so sorry to hear this. I guess my family was rough-and-tumble! With 2 older brothers and an older sister, I had no compunction stopping people from doing anything to me! One day in 7th grade this whacko *itch cut me in line for art class and she would not move, adamantly refused and was taunting me....well, she got what she was looking for and a bit more! I punched her in the face!!!! I enjoyed watching her cry about what I had done, I am only being honest, but I sure did not like my father's face when he showed up at school! I did not arbitrarily bully but people knew full well not to start with me. That is what the youngest goes through but you have to remember my brothers would start whirlpools in our pool with their friends and watch me struggle to survive! They also rode me like sea biscuit in that pool and my sister hated me tagging along so she would pull my hair! Someone along the line I decided no one my size was going to get away with anything!
Tex: I believe in the power of prayer and I also believe in the power of stupidity. I think everyone's god was present when modern medicine was evolving. There is a back story and, quickly, I have known him for 6 years and notice a trend of trying to avoid responsibility. I *think* he might have made up this cancer story because he was trying to avoid something or looking for pity. There is some "psycho" word for that type of behavior. The story did not help him, largely because I think he was lying, and now he continues to use the "c" card whenever he can. He will use it with me soon enough to tell me that the power of prayer miraculously took away his fake disease. What can I say? People are troubled. It is a messed up world. I am sure you have very few questions as to why his "proposals" have been avoided! I was never even in a relationship with him. This is convolusion at it's finest. All I can say is we all seem to have benefited from modern medicine and for this, I am very grateful.
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Hi Ladies.
ckptry: I am so sorry to hear about what's happening to Aiden. If I could make a suggestion, you might want to visit www.stopbullying.com. This site was created by President and First Lady Obama around the same time that they hosted an all-day conference at the White House solely to address the very significant problem of bullying. There is even a section there for kids. You might also want to look on YouTube for President Obama's speech from that conference. It might help Aiden if he heard and saw that even our president was bullied as a young person. He said something like, "With my big ears and my last name, I was not immune". Or something like that. And just to go a little further, I would then take it to the principle or superintendent or whoever, maybe with a critical mass of other parents, and request/demand that all teachers be required to watch it. Just my 4 cents.
Oh, also congratulations on being done with herceptin!!!
Lizzy: I'm sorry that things are so difficult with your friend. It sounds like he is in a lot of pain. Maybe you could tell him that if he believes God will cure him, then maybe God plans to cure him throught the use of modern medicine. And how could he know? After all, if God chooses who to save and who not to save, then it wouldn't matter whether s/he took medicine or not. And also, in a way, he is claiming god-like power by saying that the power of his prayer is such that it can change the will of God. I believe there are many many wonderful things about prayer, and I mean in all faiths. Prayer can be healing, perhaps even physically healing; prayer can strengthen your relationship with the holy, however you define that; and it can play a big role in helping you to become a better, kinder, stronger person; and praying for others helps us build compassion and love for those we care about. But I do not believe prayer has the power to determine the mind of the holy (in fact, I personally don't believe the holy has a mind per se, but that's not the point). Nor do I believe that prayer has the power to determine life's course of events. I pray, but I don't pray to change God. I pray to change me.
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Carolyn....Congrats on finishing herceptin! Must feel great! I am sorry to hear about your son and the bullying.....that is what that is..no matter how the school may sugarcoat it. My oldest son had a bully in grade 1..we pushed the school about it. He doesn't have any issues now but he remembers and I think for that reason he does the school yard patrol which includes playing with the younger kids that may have a hard time. He is in a group that starts games to include all kids. We are proud that he is like that and I think that it comes from the fact that he went through it. Schools are getting lots of pressure about bullying so hopefully it stops pronto.
Re : menopause...I had the surgical forced menopause and man, it was hard for a few months....worst hot flashes..it would come on and sweat would be literally pouring down my face (nice picture!). It lasted for a few months then gradually got better.0 -
There are some very misguided people with claims to God's healing. We do have a healing God - I believe that. However, not everyone gets healed. Look at the apostle Paul - we are not told what his affliction was, but that he begged for the Lord to remove the "thorn from his side" numerous times. God's answer was 'My grace is sufficient for you" - he still had the affliction but God walked through it with him.
If God healed everyone who believed in him, then there would be no free will as far as following the Lord. People would only believe in order to "get" the healing, if that makes sense. To walk away from conventional treatment is foolish and dangerous. Sometimes God heals miraculously (or protects us in ways we never seen - IE sparing us from a car accident that we just narrowly miss, etc) and sometimes he heals through physicians.
I do know that when I first got lyme six years ago, and my son was SO sick with it and running out of antibiotics, that I sat and cried and begged the Lord - that I knew He had the answer and that he would reveal it to me. I begged for a way and that same week I was lead to the wonderful nutritionist that I have who has healed my whole family of this dreaded disease. This is the way God chose to do it.
I will tell you one strange and ironic example of someone who was all into that "healing without doctors" thing. He believed all illness was in the mind and could be controled as such. He was a guy who came to our church - he was probably in his 50's and was the picture of heath, or so it seemed. But he was also very proud and boastful about his health - constantly proclaiming that he was "never" sick - that all people had to do was believe in God's healing and think themselves well
He used to say in Bible study "If anyone in this church wants to get out of cancer or MS, I can tell them how to do it". We would all ignore him, but finally they church had to ask him to leave because he actually went up to the parents of a little girl in our church who was born with spina bifada and is paralized from her mid back down. He said "There is no reason for that child to be in a wheelchair". (!!!!)
Well like I said, after trying to counsel the man, the church leadership finally asked him to leave because of the things he was saying to people. Well, I just heard this year that he DIED of BRAIN CANCER! Unfortunatly in his case, illness really WAS "all in his mind"!
People believe all sorts of crazy things - because they don't want to believe that it can happen to THEM.
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Calamtykel: Very good points. I think what pisses me off the most is anyone that would lie, mental sickness or not, about having *this* disease is beyond comprehension. I talk to him once in a while and although I would like to call him out on what I truly believe is a complete fabrication, I don't even bother. I just let him talk and I have a time limit on those conversations. He thinks because his 88 year old mother has cancer and is refusing tx that he should too. If I am still here at 88 I might be refusing food so I could expodite my departure!!!!!!
We all know all too well what it is like to have this disease. One should not have to know what it is like to have it to feel ashamed about lying about it. I also think it tempts fate in a way.
On a completely different note, how do you get ready for holiday ecommerce? Do you do any wholesaling or is it just catch-as-catch can selling? Do you make anything? I am just wondering. There is so much out there, it is staggering at times.
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I'm so sorry that happened Carolyn. My 13 year old is borderline asperger's and I know if he was in school he would be thrashed, plain and simple. He is just too trusting and doens't catch other kids clues, etc.
I agree with Lizzy, except for the importance of school fulfilling the purpose of teaching "socialization"- and this is why:
The definition of Socialization is to learn to live in society. As such, it should provide a child with "real world" experiences. In the "real world" if someone in your workplace, say, comes up and shoves you with their elbow on an ongoing basis and continuously makes abusive remarks to you, you report it as harrassment and that person gets FIRED. They are GONE. If they keep harrassing you, you get a restraining order against that individual and if they violate it and come within a certain distance to you, they go to JAIL. If you get beat up on the street, if you report that person and they are caught, THAT person goes to jail. THAT is "the real world" . In the real world, we segregate people who continuously abuse other people by putting them away - OUT of society.
But YET we expect children just to be able to "fight their own battles" so to speak and deal with bullies in a way we NEVER expect adults to! That's not real world socialization. 25 kids of the same age in a structured situation being in a room together for 7 hours a day isn't real world socialization. Dealing with those children who are constantly naturally mean,nasty and bullying towards other children by simply "talking" to them when it happens is not "real world" society. Can you imagine if someone continuously makes threats, harrasses you and makes your life a general fearful misery - that if you tell the authorities, they will tell you "well, let's talk to the perpetrator and see if we can't all get along..."
I know homeschooling isn't for everyone - and I would NEVER tell anyone that they should homechool. I'm just debating the "socialization" thing. And I don't mean this at all to sound like I'm dissing school, I was a school teacher - my DAD taught school for 35 years.
My oldest - my 15 year old has never been to a school outside of homeschooling, but she's a normal average teenager. She can carry on an intelligent conversation with any adult, child or other teenager (to me, THAT is socialization - that is real world) and has numerous friends her own age. She loves going to camp, youth group and sleepovers. She's responsible, an excellent communicator and just a good average kid. School is for education, not necessarily socialization. I personally, can remember just about every one of my teachers saying to me "Be quiet! We are not here to socialize, young lady!" And yet when I started homeschooling, I was told by friends and yes, even strangers that my kids would not be "socialized" unless I put them in a classroom every day. Hm. Not the way I remember things....
I took my son to a neurologist this past summer for his asperger's evaluation. I was a little nervous - expecting the doctor to tell me that he should be in school or whatever. He was able to talk to the doctor and answer questions intelligently, even though he is a shy kid. When we were done, the doctor leaned back on his chair and said "I like what I see - he's a good kid who just happens to have Asperger's. Just keep doing what you're doing with the homeschooling." I was stunned.
I will admit it is challenging to find him situations with other kids - that is probably the hardest part of homeschooling. But he has one friend who he likes to spend time with, either here or at his friend's house. He's now taking a class at church once a week that requires class participation, homework , tests and extra service projects and I think he's doing okay so far. I'm a little nervous about the test, because it will require that he express his opinion, and that is difficult for him, but it's been a good experience for him so far.
The whole bullying thing really gets me. I went through it for a time in school in junior high- I remember what it was like - my friends do also. We weren't part of the "in" crowd and we all had our turn dealing with bullies and getting picked on. BUT as a mother, I think I would not have held my temper as well as you did Carolyn - I think I would have shoved my foot up that little bully's a** then and there (and then I'd probably be in jail....
I am just so sorry you are having to deal with this -- Aidan sounds like such a sweet boy -
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Lizzy - I list as much as I can as fast as I can - for the holidays. I list lots of children's toys - video games, American Girl dolls - anything we've found at garage sales.
Sales have been SO SLOW. The economy is crap. It's awful. I never had to work so hard for so few sales... Yeah, I don't get the refusing treatment. When I told the guy at the post office that I had cancer (I wanted people to know - so when they saw me show up bald they didn't "wonder" what kind, etc. ) He was appalled - and basically indicated to me that chemo would be so horrible it would kill me - that his dad had lung cancer and refused to go through chemo. I basically told him I was GOING to do it - it would NOT kill me, and that I would get through it. He just kept looking at me like I was under a death sentence or something.
People have no idea what any of it is like until they've walked a mile in our shoes.....
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Carolyn- i totally feel you!!!! I remember last year when you posted that he was being left out by the other kids.... I am NOT beyond pushing a kid lol you touch my baby and its on i dont care if you are 8 or 80! i would have spanked that child like no ones business! (btw corpral punishment is allowed in the schools here in TX)
Okay so what happened with me- My 3 yr old tells me when i pick him up "dont worry mom my teacher didnt hurt me" i was like "um... okay..." then he goes on to tell me that his teacher squeezed his hand and smacked it. I was FLOORED! i had half a mind to go in there and choke them out- not caring if i had to whup the whole staff! So knowing that if i asked any questions i would more than likely be putting ideas into his head i let it go. My friends daughter is in the same class so i asked her if she had any problems with the teachers- she says no but then she asks her daughter if my son had gotten in trouble. she said yeah for dancing, both us parents figured maybe when they were supposed to be sitting and he wasnt.... well later in the evening i ask my son if he danced at school today- he immediatly looked like a kid caught in the cookie jar and said no! i said oh i thought y'all danced at school sometimes. He said "no i was sitting like this (then he sat crisscross) and my teacher was mean" I asked if it was his main teacher he said no the other one that wears a shirt (lol thanks for narrowing it down for me!) SO the next day i kept him home from school and then i went to the main headstart office (turns out i went to the enrollment office lol) well the receptionist listend to my story and then she went to the back...she came out and told me to go to the other main office and speak with the main guy. so i did. He said he would look into it. well apparently there was some miscommunication from the 1st office i spoke with they called someone not as high up than the guy but higher than the director and told her my son was spanked.... Okay i am getting way off the point- so i go to drop him off today and that second lady comes up to me and says i heard you wanted to speak with me and i was like who are you LOL, she explained to me her position and i told her sure we can talk- so her, myslef and my sons teacher went into the office and talked. I told what happened, and why i chose to go to the main office instead of the center director- because i did NOT know which teacher it was, i didnt want to chance that it was the director (whom fills in for the class sometimes) she was very irritated with me and totally not getting my side- she was like well kids will often say adults are mean when they are told to do something they dont want to do, i was like i am aware of that, but that is IN ADDITION to him saying he was handled physically. She was also like you need to come to me next time blah blah blah, i was like i had no clue your position even existed, so i just went to whom i thought i should. Oh and she had the AUDACITY to tell me that i should have turned around and walked right in and discussed it at that moment. i was frank and told her at that moment i was seeing red- like a mama bear with her cub- it would have gotten out of hand and i wouldnt have been so nice. I needed to calm down and then take action. I seriously would have punched a few people cuz its my child! Simple as that- so anyhow the teacher who is the nicest person out there actually cried, i felt terrible. She said she feels bad that this happened in her classroom even though she was preparing snack in the kitchen- btw they think they know who did it..... SO to reitterate carolyn i KNOW EXACTLY THAT FEELING!
wherria- thanks for that site- i think we are just getting more sensitive as a whole auicide rarely happend when i was younger, and i remember being in class when columbine happened- it shocked everyone! it just wasnt a common occurance. i was bullied A LOT growing up- they used to call me scabatha (refering to my acne) instead of tabatha which for some reason was my nickname. i didnt learn my real name til like 3rd grade lol! Oh i remember in highschool this girl would pick on me just unneccisarily, i mean tease me about everything- the way i wore my hair, my clothes- i mean anything i did or said came with very harsh words from her (funny thing i dont even remember her name) well anyhow i 1/2 though of killing her. literally i thought i could shoot her in the face as she walked into the class, but reason out weighed my anger. i thought maybe she was insecure about herself and thought of me as an easy target. Not to make myself seem ghetto but i have gotten into serious scraps with people, i had chased a girl down with a knife- fully intending to use it. So with that being said KIDS ARE INDEED CRUEL!
lizzy- that is strange he'd propose without even dating you. May have one screw loose...
kel- wow that is ironic and sad... there have been famous evangalists out there that have basically said the same thing "you're only sick because you need to get right by God" and of course they later died of things like a heart attack and such- i wish i remembered their names.... Very well put! the Lord will guide you through it, wether he gives you confort like he did Paul or wether he fuides you to the correct dr like he did your family. I think people read a few scriptures about Gods healing power and assume that anyone that prays and believes shall recieve....
Kel i hate to break it to you your 15 year ols is NOT normal because she CAN carry a conversation. That is against todays norm, even young adults are space cases and its hard to conversate with them! Oh and WAY TO GO the dr telling you you're doing things right in the homeschooling! That is one LONG mile!
Online selling- i need to get back into it, in the last 60 days i've only sold one thing. Right now i just dont have the time but the little extra money that i have gotten had been helpful- its just a CRAZY market out there- you never know whats going to sell... I had these pipeworks toys from playskool- all the other lots that were similar to mine were selling for 100+ dollars i think i sold mine for 40! i dont like doing a reserve because thats sorta not fair, just start the listing at what youy want to get for it is my opinion.
Oh and in the last week i bought over 265 worth of junk LOL well not junk, but its like ther is money going out and it needs to be comming in! Good luck to all who sell online!
oh about me- i have been super busy with school midterms are coming up in this month and its been crazy hetic- i misplaced my text book for one of my classes so i havent been able to do all the tests which are due monday (i think i have 4 or 5 chapters LOL) anyhow so sometimes i get online and have a lot to say but not enough time i dont mean for my replies to be cort...
Any big plans for the weekend?
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