August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Thanks for the support All...
Even though we vent... We are showing up for every treatment an appoinment...
That is what is most important...
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Good Luck today Lizzy and Omaz!!!
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So- You got that right! Showing up is the most important and sometimes it's really hard. (or so hard) (c: Good luck tomorrow. I get anxious for a couple days before my chemo tx. My 3rd TAC is on Nov 1 and I will be half way! Baby steps... Take care.
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Zachsmom Yes I feel done with it all sometimes too. I am currently on AC and I feel like crap for about 6 days afterwards. At some point during those days I end up crying hysterically and telling my husband that I am just not going to do any more chemo. But in the end, like Sohard said, I just keep showing up for every appt. My last AC is this Friday and I am dreading the 6 days of crap to follow but so glad that I will be done. Then I go on to 4 treatments of Abraxane. And I am still working but my boss has been super supportive so I take off as many days as I need after treatment. Generally I take off my treatment day (Friday) then also at least Monday and Tuesday and sometimes also Wednesday. After that I'm able to work pretty much full time until my next treatment. I'm hoping that on the Abraxane I will have fewer crappy days.
Lizzy Oh please don't be embarrassed about sleeping most of the day! Our bodies need the rest, especially if we aren't sleeping at night! On Sundays after a treatment day I usually spend almost the whole day in bed, I think the combo of the chemo and the anti-nausea meds just knocks me out. Honestly I'd rather sleep through the days when I feel crappy!
Well I'm having a rough day today. I heard from my vet this morning that my cat has squamous cell carcinoma in her mouth. My vet is going to consult with a veterinary oncology practice and find out the pros and cons of various treatments (surgery, chemo, rads). I have done a little research online and it looks like overall the prognosis is not very good as this type of cancer tends to be aggressive. I am curious to hear what the oncologist recommends but I am leaning towards not putting her through chemo and rads. What I have read so far is that for this type of cancer chemo and rads doesn't seem to provide a whole lot of benefit. She is 13 years old so she has had a pretty long life already. Currently the tumor doesn't seem to be bothering her, she is eating and behaving normally so hopefully that will continue for a while.
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Self-induced, roid-caused house arrest! Normally I don't go out on "roid days" but today I had to and thankfully it was a good experience!!!!!
JSW: I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. Poor kitty. That is such a shame. You know, when I rescued my cat, Bibbers!, from her life along the highway, I never considered she could have feline aids until my vet reminded me. He also told me basically what is done is done so there was no sense in testing. I hope for good health for my kitty and I hope your's is giong to do ok. That is such a shame, though. I am so sorry for what you are going through.
Adey: I never remembered any dreams before chemo but now, almost every night, my head is like a free, albeit low budget (!), movie!!!! More like a freak show actually! I will keep you posted but mine are not roid-induced...they are just constant since chemo began. Weird.
Sptmm: thanks for the well-wishes and same to you. I hope you can carve out some relaxation time for yourself.
Sohardbnme: that is such a very good point. We might complain but we are all doing it. I could not believe it when I asked why they don't thaw (one of my chemos is frozen) in advance and I was reminded some people just don't show up. That is really cavalier and, as bad as it might get, I will complete this regimen and I think we are all equally committed to finishing.
The song "..I get knocked down but I get up again.." is a great song for us also. When it came out (97?) I was working with a woman who had 2 kids in hockey and they LOVED that song. They played it in the locker room after every game! We can definitely add that to the "Weather Girls" soundtrack!
Well, I am high on steroids so I am probably going to go do 1000 things! I will check in later-
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Good luck Cal, Sohard and Lizzie,
A rant as well....so, so sick of this. I am day 9 after treatment #3 and still don't feel "normal". Went to a Pilates class today, granted by accident it was a more advanced one than I usually attend, but I was so weak! I couldn't do half of what I usually do, and ended up in tears. THEN I get to go home and get ready for work, and I am completely wiped out. I think that most of us are about 3/4 of the way through. Perhaps this is the worst point. The light is at the end of the tunnel, but that doesn't feel so great, when each day is hard.
Question,,,are we allowed to talk about sex here? or is it too x rated? My question...does anyone have any interest at all? Not me. Also pretty itchy and dry. Ugh.
Hang in there all.
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Elizabeth27: we talked about this topic before and most of us are seemingly a little challenged in that area and for me, I have no interest at all. You are not alone! I am lucky because I don't have a live-in situation! My boyfriend visits only and I told him it is off the menu and if he doesn't like it, he can get to steppin! I am not fighting about that "s" right now! Too bad is what I say. Honestly, and after what I have been through being treated for bc and because I am relatively single (!), I don't think I would ever have relations again, even with him (I don't really trust that a man can be faithful...it also seems a little unrealistic in these circumstances), without a current HIV test...very current.
Two questions:
I know I have asked this before but I am asking yet again! Did anyone, before finding out they had bc, feel sick, tired etc...? In retrospect did you notice any signs? I very distinctly remember coming home one day on lunch and taking an extra 2 hours so I could SLEEP! That was really weird and I just felt, in a very systemic way, something was very wrong. I felt horrible. I am just wondering if anyone here felt different before finding out they had bc.
Also, does anyone scare their pets with their wigs on?! I know my cat stares at me for a long time as I sport 3 different wigs depending on mood/heat factor! I don't think she is scared but a little weirded out!
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Lizzy: You made me smile with the cat story. LOL. I have only worn mine twice and have vowed to never wear it again (my husband took a picture of me with my daughters in it last time and when I saw it YUCK!). I had it on briefly in the house and my cats seemed fine.
And for feeling poorly - no. Not at all. I was running 5 miles daily and going to a total body class twice weekly. I was running more than 5 on the weekends. I felt great. Not so great now.
Another ? ... does anyone notice their nails looking odd? My finger nails are fine. My toe nails have looked dry for a while and now the beds of them look white and ... not sure how to describe... chalky? Is that a sign that they are going to fall off? I've been putting tea tree oil on them twice daily.
Not that I'm super fond of my toe nails or anything, I just don't want to deal with yet another SE.0 -
Hey - I'm going in tomorrow too. TCH treatment no. 5 of 6. I woke up this morning and just thought I DON'T WANT TO GO. So glad I'm not the only one. I will go, but I've been feeling so normal lately, I just don't want to go through it AGAIN. Ugh.
Well, we will all be in it together, I guess. That's something. :-)
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JSW- it becomes a whole quality of life issue regarding your cat i'd say.. Right now the tumors arent effecting her eating and such. Just remember what its like for us on chemo- i'd imagine it'd be the smae for her, but she wouldnt understand WHY it was happening. Like you said she's lived a very long life for a cat- i hate to suggest euthinizing her when her tumor does effect her QOL but i couldnt imagine putting a cat through chemo... just my thoughts
(my friends down syndromed sister had to do chemo for lykemia and it was hard because she wasnt capable of grasping the whole why shes sick thing, all she did understand is she was sick)
Lizzy- yeah in hindsight i should have know something was wrong- not that i was SICK per se but WEAK, i couldnt even lift a gallon of milk (or my kids) without a shooting pain in my ribs- i went to a chiro but it made it worse (bones were weakened cuz of cancer) so yeah if only i would have know then... But dont forget i was stage iv at presentation so it got out of control in my body, i bet when i was stage 1 and 2 it wasnt effecting me at all (but who knows how fast they grew and spread)
Good luck all who go in for TX tomorrow!
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Lisa-- That's it! I'm doing TAC and I think it's similar to TCH. Every three weeks for 6 txs. By the time it's the week before the next tx I feel basically normal and then start thinking about so NOT wanting to go get another tx and feel like shite! But at least I get what I call the "golden week" as well as the "dark days". I feel lucky in that. Hugs to us all. (c:
jsw-- I'm sorry you have to go through this. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of losing one of our pups and we had to make similar decisions... no fun.
Lizzy-- itchy boobs... BEWARE THE ITCHY BOOBS! Not normal at all, no a rash, or reaction, weird deep itching.
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I go for TCH number 4 and never got a golden week this time. Just felt so tired the whole 3 weeks.
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That stinks Omaz. Did you ever get them before? I have number 3 on Nov 1 and hope to continue my trend although I can feel the SEs building.
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Yes, the first two I felt pretty good the last week. This time just didn't.
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I found my lump because I had an itch. I recall having an itch before and didn't really pay any attention to it. Also my lump was very close to the surface the doc said if it had been deeper I wouldnt have felt it. So we need to pay attention to our itches.
I think today os going to be a strange day. First thing I start my steroid pretreatment pills.
Then I get a call from my son that my former husbands DW in her late 60's, died this morning. She had bronchitis, then pneumonia, smoking all along, then a heart attack and three days later she is gone. My sons will feel bad because thier dad just lost his mom and does no do well at all with death. He has avoided funerals all along. I met him when I was 19 so I have known him a long long time. We are in different states.
Next my husband calls that people are coming right now to pump out the septic system and everything smells a little bit funny. I never had a septic system in my house before.
Next I need to hop in the shower and go get Taxol.
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Texas: yes, weakness was a big part of it. BTW, the only reason I am not stage IV is because they found no evidence it spread BUT there was a total of 6 cms of cells: 2.5 were IDC and 3.5 were pre-cancerous....not good. This is why I am on TAC X 6. I think mine is a spreader but, as you know, they can't find mets until they are a certain size. Here's to hoping!
Omaz: these dreadful SEs are largely cumulative which means I will be sleeping through Christmas and NYE! I think I might wake up around Jan 5! Only one more for you though so be happy!
Adey: we are almost 1/2 way done!!!!! WHOO HOOO! I don't know how I am going to FORCE myself to go in December TWICE but I know I have to do it. If I sleep enough I won't have time to think about it! Also, on the itchy boobs, I get that also and religiously forget that I did have that indicator! Of course, just today I went back and forth from my car to the house looking for a bag of groceries that were right there, on the kitchen floor and also for a lock I purchased for my shed that I summarily put in my little kitchen tool box for no good reason as I intended to put it on the shed today b/c my snowblower is being delivered this week!!!! No, not even chemo brain-it is tomorrow!
Lisasinglem and Sohardbnme: We are all heading off to gross chemo tomorrow! Best of luck to you both as well
Ginger: what an awful day for you and your poor DH. That is an awful lot to deal with in such a small space in time. I hope your MIDNIGHT taxol goes well! The late in the day business is both odd and a p-i-t-a. I hope you do well with this one. I have septic and I had mine was done last year. This, too, is my first experience with it.
Well I am flying around doing 10 things and about to take my second 8mgs of roids at 5 in hopes I can SLEEP tonight...I am always so glass-half-full!!!!!!!! Right...!
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I am almost 10 days post Taxotere and my cough has come back...damnit. I went for my bloodwork on Friday and I was really low--susceptible to anything--I guess I gave myself back my cold. Other than that, I feel OK--I wish I didn't have a cough because I would feel fine then. I do feel tired--don't have nearly the same energy. I was talking to someone else who did Taxotere at the hospital and they said it took almost 6 months POST FINAL TREATMENT before she had the same level of energy of before.
Re: Working--I am off on leave from work and will stay off as long as Insurance/Doctors grant me. I can't imagine working right now--some days I barely have the energy to get changed. I am amazed at people who are working through this--whether by necessity or desire---totally amazing.
I am NOT looking forward to my final 2 Taxotere---I know they have to be done--but how I was feeling after the last one--not looking forward to that again.
Chemo is definitely the gift that keeps on giving!
Rachel
p.s. Thanks Sweeney for keeping us posted on your rads--I will be doing rads when this chemo is done so am interested in your experience for sure.
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Lizzy-- November is my double month... boo. Today I did my 6 mile walk that I haven't done since surgery... yay for me. I was exited. (c:
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Rachel: I totally agree about those that are working through this mess. I, like you, have my days where just doing the basics is a challenge. Today I feel good but chemo is tomorrow. I have about 6 good days before the next zapping but it is never without sniffles, stuffed nose, winded easy doing things that never bothered me etc... You are so eloquent as it certainly is the gift that keeps giving!
Sweeney; Thanks for keeping us posted on rads also. I have been meaning to thank you and Buttertart reminded me! I hope you are doing well with rads. It is my understanding there is fatigue with that also. I meant to tell you, regarding staying off the board last week (?), it is good to seperate for a while if it makes you feel like you might not have bc. It is very cathartic. Although I lament your absence, it is totally understandable. I, too, was not so energized about posting last week. I think I was just lost in my own little world...it happens!
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Adey: 6 miles?! I can barely crank out 3 these days and that is treadmill! Did you wear your monster, glute-enhancing sneakers?!?!?! Did frankenhusband walk with you!? GOOD FOR YOU! Man, that is an accomplishment....and you made me tired...almost nap time now....thanks!
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Lizzy - I don't know what I am going to do about number of treatments vs neuropathy. I have number 4 tomorrow and have asked for a dose reduction. My prescription is for 6 treatments which takes me into December. I don't know if my nerves can handle it. I will see if a dose reduction makes less neuropathy. Will talk to onc nurse this afternoon hopefully. Wish it truely was my last one for sure tomorrow! I am so confused about what to do, what is the best choice. I am not sure if I even have the clarity to make a good choice at this point.0
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Something new to ponder.Last week I felt a lump very near where the other 3 tumors were. I wasn't to see the onc til Fri. so I went to family Dr. and she felt it and sent me for a ultra sound and it showed nothing. I did have onc. check it out Fri. at my chemo appointment and she said I need to have the surgeon check it out. I am going to wait til the last chemo Dec. 2nd to see him because he is an hour and a half away. I guess after I had the ultra sound results I wasn't worried but after seeing the onc. she seamed a little concerned. Do you even think it is possible for a tumor to start while your having treatment? That doesn't seam possible. But when you think about it why is it more likely to show up in the first 2-3 years after treatment then later down the road. Don't you think that should be the other way around, like you should be more protected in the 1st few years after tx? Idk seams strange to me and hopefully if it nothing. It sure does scare you to feel something else.
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home from Taxol #2. Two more to go! I'm so glad at least the infusion is over.
It stung in my port so they checked for a blood return and got none...but there was no evidence that it was going into the skin around it - they tried another needled ( I got poked twice!
and that still didn't work. but both the doctor and nurse checked me several times over the course of the day (the skin around it - to see if the chemo was going where it was supposed to) and they said everything seemed fine. No pain now that it's out - Feeling pretty good right now - I came home and made some broccoli cheese soup from scratch since I was starving.
Something funny happened - I brought my protein shake with me and accidentally swallowed wrong. It sent me into fits of coughing that I couldn't stop and the nurse and doctor came into room like lightening as if they'd gotten a code blue message! They were saying at the same time "SHe's coughing -what's wrong!???!) Guess they thought I was having a reaction to the taxol! I assured them that I couldn't stop coughing because I swallowed the wrong way. Never a dull moment!
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Ginger - been thinking about you and said a prayer for you when they started my chemo. I hope you had an okay experience today and that you have a good next few days.
OH_ and my doctor had no problem with skipping the neulasta shot the last chemo - YAY!
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Cal - thats great news about the neulasta shot!0
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On the work front. I am working through chemo part time, I wanted to keep working to keep me a little busy and preoccupied. I get all my hours in before appointment day every Fri. I am the social service consultant for the nursing home where I work. I mostly do paper work and care planning.
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Thanks Liz. I am touched that you remembered my Frankenshoes (and Frankenhusband)!
Omaz- I ice my fingers and toes during the Taxotere part of my chemo, suck on a smoothie or ice chips too. Also, use L-Glutamine powder for the chemo mouth.
Oh... and I look at my golden times through golden glasses. (c: Not normal times but the new best I can get. I'm very thankful for them and may all you Ponyboys kick the asses of those SEs and get some golden time.
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Adey - Ice & glutamine - Me too!0
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Good Luck tommorrow Lisa!!
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I am off for the TAxol. Send me prayers please,
Ginger
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