You know youre a cancer patient when....
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Before going out, you have to check to see if your "foob" is level with the "real one".
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....when you shave under your arm very carefully, cause you dont feel anything anyhow.
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I usually fall asleep to The Golden Girls...last night it was The Lucy Show
you know your a cancer patient when you haven't been able to lie on your stomach for 10 months b/c of your tissue expanders, and there is no end in sight...
(now if I cut out two boob shaped holes into my mattress, I might be in luck...)
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Mamita49, I was going to post the same thing, only I have the problem on both sides, plus I can't see without my glasses and they fog up in the shower so it's like playing russian roulett with a razor blade.
I'm using a mangifying mirror and standing in front of the sink before I get in the shower, that way at least I can see what I can't feel. LOL
Darla
PS, I'm shaving while I'm standing in front of the sink, thought I should clarify that. At least I think that's what I'm doing. LOL
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...when you never realized how much nose hair you have, until it fell out from chemo and is now coming back. Yikes, where's the trimmer?!
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When your shower stays sparkling clean for weeks because it no longer gets filmy due to shampoo and conditioner.
When you can get ready for work in 0-60 seconds. (no hair washing, conditioning, styling, no shaving arms, legs, bikini area, no nose hair or eyebrow trimming, no mustashe removal, no mascara) Where did I find the time for all that maintenance before? LOL
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When the furrows or 11's between your brows appear significantly diminished due to your bald head.
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YKYACPW...........
...................you scuttle into your bedroom for a B & B (Bra & Boob) every time the front door bell rings.
..................after someone else has answered the door and unexpected visitors are shown in, you always appear from your bedroom discretely brushing your hair/clothes down as if you have been sleeping---or not, (in your clothes) during the day.
Sheila.
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You stand outside in heat for about 5 minutes and start to YAK and have to come in and turn on ceiling fan and manually fan yourself for 30 minutes to feel better. Gotta love chemo gifts!!!
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when you wake up in the morning and can't remember where you put your boob last night
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When someone goes on and on about the cute top you're wearing and it's the perfect color for you, blah, blah, blah. And you're thinking to yourself, "Is she talking about this old faded top I've had for 8 years?"
Then you realize what probably happened: she was staring at your breasts, thought you saw her doing it, and she's trying to talk herself out of an awkward situation. Too funny!
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when you crash your motorcycle and as banged up and hurt as your are, you tell the er doctor who is stitching up your face "I've had worse.........can you tell if my tissue expanders are ok in an xray?????"
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................when you look at your little 18 - month old niece and think 'Ha ha - I finally have more hair than you!'
I love this thread, always makes me smile!
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lol about your niece. I have done the same.
When you look at the men in church and think. ha ha I have more hair than you and no bald spots.
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When your surgeon told you after the lumpectomy that your breast looked "fabulous" and the radiation oncologist said your breast was "very hot" and neither of them was making a pass at you.
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When a roomful of people are touching your breasts in front of your husband and you're not a swinger.
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When someone finds out you have the 3-d tattoos and you don't give a second thought about flashing your boobs and show them your results.
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AussieSheila- Oh my heart reading "this ceiling might be the last thing I see". Then I started thinking "but it's better than the bathroom floor, muck on the dining table..." and I am laughing again!
Kittycat- Oh unplug the TV, Whale Wars! Of course I found myself watching an antelope chew a leaf on the Nature chanell for a full 5 minutes!
You know you are a cancer patient when you don't have hair where you are supposed to and you do have hair where you are not supposed to!
When you have a bzillion natural non-aluminum deoderants and NONE work!
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Okay, so if we can't sell our posts on this thread maybe we can make a breast cancer safe deodorant that actually works! Any chemists on here?!
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you lay down on the beach and your foob looks better and pirkier than your real boob.
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you have got that right!!! that is no joke! LOL hysterically.I can't even remember how to spell
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when you go to Walgreen's to get a refill on a prescription and the tech asks you "Which one of these drugs do you need?"
When you're so excited to pick up samples or laxatives from your onco's office (and hope they work)
When you're lying awake in bed because you're amped up from the steriod you picked up from Walgreen's & are thinking maybe it's a good thing you're awake in case the laxative works! LOL!
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When you hand in two 8.5" x 11" sheets filled with prescriptions to the pharmacey and you tell them which ones to "bank" for now and which ones to "fill". Your DH is your drug dispenser and knows what you take better than you do!
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When your DH is like your Junkie, giving you shots...never thought I would see the day my DH had to shoot me up
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I have nothing to add at the moment - but still LMAO....................
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You know you are a cancer patient when you start thinking what you can do with your Boobs....like take off your bra and toss them to someone and ask...want to play with my boobs? (I did that with my BIL...he said I was sick and I said, not any more....)
I also announced to my oncologist that I could take these Boobs and beat my husband to death and never leave a mark....and he says....yah, and no one would find the murder weapon because you are wearing it...and he ROLFL.
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Hey, Sunnytn, ever read the short story "Lamb to the Slaughter" by Raould Dahl?
You know you're a cancer patient when a terrible heat wave hits and you feel miserable and sick and are SURE you've developed lung mets because your breathing is weird and then you remember - Oh, yeah. I have asthma and this always happens in this kind of weather.
Leah
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LMAO!!! Sunnytn.
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kitty- Oh the vision of you up at night amped up on steroids, wondering if the laxative will work, watching Whale Wars on tv has me LOL! By the way, I am the Queen of Constipation, having tried everything. I am now eating about 5 Fuji apples a day, peelings on, and I swear it works better than all the drugs!
Thanks for the ongoing laughs ladies!
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On the subject of constipation... you know you're a cancer patient when you listen with great interest as a chemo nurse reveals her best constipation trick to another chemo patient -- "warm prune juice -- works every time." You never try it, but months later that "interesting" conversation is still in your head.
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