You know youre a cancer patient when....
Comments
-
I cannot even counth the hysterics on this page alone. The ice tray i the oven-omg. OK for real, yesterday, drove out of my little village with dogs in the SUV and noticed the "door ajar open." light on the dash. i looke everywhere as I was driving and could find nothing wrong except he dogs were in the fron seat beside me and i am thinking 'how wierd.' Got to Harris Teeter to find that I had left the hatch open on the SUV all the way there. Funny everything looked fine thru the rear view mirror. one day i am going to pose what i actuallly write bec it trly looks like i have invented a new language-oh i just did (and i speel check everything to theis point0! XXOO SV
0 -
A-Storm - that is hilarious!!!! I'm so surprised I haven't done that..... yet.
0 -
lowrider-LOL again! Sounds like the old Abbot and Costello "who's on first, no what's on second" routine. It's a miracle anybody understands us at all!
0 -
This is too funny. How about when you walk into a room, forget what you came in for, go back out, remember what it was, but by the time you got back in, you forgot again!You know the words you want to say but they won't come out. You try to explain to people but it just sounds worse as you try to describe what you're trying to say.
Your talking on the phone with your friend while you are trying to go out the door and you are in a panic cuz you can't find your phone to take with you. We got a good laugh out of that one!
I did not do chemo but am on Femara!
0 -
AStorm
I'm laughing so hard right now....
WOOF!
0 -
When you can't bend down to see the bottom shelf at the store without having a Kleenex ready or you'll drip on the floor.
When your OB calls you just to see how you're doing, even though you haven't spoken to him in months since your diagnosis.
When you stop telling your husband to roll up the windows in the car because the wind will mess up your hair.
Thanks for the laughs ladies!
0 -
When you start using short forms like DH in your emails and texting and don't understand why no one knows what you mean....
0 -
When your DD give you 6 kisses all the time. One on both check, one on the forehead, one on the chin, one on the nose and one directly on the lips. You wonder why for a long time until she tells you one day she hopes all the kiss makes you well again.
When you are so use to going to the hospital everyday, you head that way even though you should have gone the other way to church.
0 -
Barbe: I've done that. I found myself writing about my BMX and possible SEs from chemo the other night on my caringbridge site and had to go back and edit it for the "normal" people out there!0
-
Kittydog-
Sweetest thing ever x 6!
0 -
... when you call your gyco and can actually get an appointment in the same month
0 -
KittyDog - so sweet re your DD - bless!
0 -
kittydog-I've been laughing uproariously on this thread, now I have tears from your DD's sweetness...good tears. I have an 11 YO strapping big boy who is just as sweet giving me healing foot rubs. Guess what, I think those kisses and foot rubs are working, we are going to be healthy again!0
-
Aww thank Yall. She has been a trooper through most of my DX. It makes you wonder what else are your kids doing in hopes that it makes you better.
When you can't find the phone and have been looking since the first of August. Where oh where did I hide to phones. lol Thank God we have a third one.
0 -
designermom ... your avatar got me. I was Dorothy to a dear friend no longer with us, and it was kind of like her talking to me
anyway, I can't remember when I've laughed so much reading posts on this site!! My contribution - when you automatically want to ask any woman wearing a baseball cap which chemo she's getting. (I've actually done that, and met some really cool people in the process!!)
0 -
Still LMAO and how sweet 6 kisses....children are so innocent and sweet.
Well.....I saw my primary dr today and told her about this thread and told a few examples of what we say, she was belly laughing so hard that I lost it...... She was still laughing when she left the room.
........when you reach into your shirt to fix your foob, that has turned sideways and look up to see your coworker laughing at you.
........when you're standing at the elevator of the hospital and happen to have on a business suit with a shirt the same color theme as the hospital - the elderly people coming out of the elevator from the parking garage think you work there and start asking for help and directions..........and you can answer each person as they line up coming out of the elevator..... way too much time at the hospital/cancer center.
0 -
you log on to BC.org several times a day to talk to your sweet sisters.
0 -
...when the short spiky bristles of your new eyelashes reminds you of a Venus flytrap.
...when the bald guys at work look wistfully at your formerly glossy head, now matte.
...when you wear mules (bedroom slippers) at your desk because your feet are sore, and forget they're on and walk around in them all day long.
0 -
When you wrestle with the scary decision to shave your numb armpit....then remind yourself that you let people pour poison into you every three weeks! Dang, live dangerously for goodness sake!
0 -
When you have dreams of having a full head of long hair and then realize you're still bald!
When you can smell people that walk by (and some of them are stinky).
When you get excited when one of your BC buddies comes over with natural deodorant!!! Thank you Melanie!!
0 -
When your tissue expander "goes rogue" and is turned around in between fills. The port is now at the bottom of my boob, and my PS tried to rotate it back in place.
As she was trying to rotate it (like she was opening a mayonnaise jar,) I realized it's the same maneuver used on pregnant women whose babies are "breech."
I still have a Breech Boob
When the screaming children at the pool feels like ice picks being poked in my ears. (can no longer tolerate loud noises, truck sounds etc..)
0 -
For those of you who will have colonoscopy and want to know what the doc actually found after you really wake up and before you go home:
As I write on my mx arm with magic marker: No cuffs, No needles, I wrote on the other arm:
-------Negative
-------Call the office
(Please fill in the blank)
And told the nurses and anyone else who would listen that I wasn't going home till I knew the results---not only did my doc put an 'X" on negative, but left a post-it note that it was Neg. and I didn't need to call the office. LOL
0 -
you find yourself discretely putting your 'boobs' back into place much like a man adjusting his jewels.
0 -
You know you're a cancer patient when that node-less armpit, now kind of like a cave, makes unexpected farting noises. Oooppps!
0 -
Oh Lordy Squid and Gitane-LOL-farting armpits and breech bobs!! I am snorting, SV
0 -
Iodine, what a clever way to get results. I have mine coming up the end of Sept. I'll remember that. I already either write on my own node arm or make the prep nurse do it. But I like the results options on the other arm. thanks.
0 -
Hahaha, well, Firni, I'm actually going to have a REAL kitchen when I move (10/1). This time, I suppose instead of worrying about losing FOOD items, I'll have to worry that *I'LL* be the one getting lost in it!
AStorm -- LOL about the "bra wardrobe"! I have "bra socks"! Surgery is not standard of care for Stage IV-from-the-gate girls like me, and cancer has eaten up/mangled/half shrunk my right breast so I have a normal (for me) C on the left and a B-size (I estimate) cancerous one on the right, which is noticeably smaller than it used to be and no longer matches the good one. Indoors with no plans to go outside at all, and in cold weather when I dress in heavy sweaters and so on, I don't bother with a bra at all (no need, no one can see anything anyway). But when it's warm or hot out (too hot to throw on a flannel shirt over the T-shirt at the very least), in order not to look lopsided, I put on one of my regular C-cup bras which fits my left breast, and stuff the right cup with a "bra sock" to make up the difference. But, this is what I would have done if I'd HAD my cancerous right breast removed -- stuff a sock in my right bra cup -- I was WAY too much of a sissy to want reconstruction once I read about all the pain and multiple surgeries involved, and the mastectomy bra with breast form route seemed both too complicated and too expensive IMO. The "bra sock" works, is fast, easy, and doesn't cost anything. Widowed socks (i.e., socks whose mates were eaten by the washing machine or dryer) become "bra socks"!
Ah, but I digress. OK...you know you're a cancer patient when you have 3 priority reasons to live and one of them is growing your hair back to where you FINALLY had it and LIKED it until chemo totally destroyed it: almost down to your WAIST!
~Lena.
0 -
It's been 3 years since chemo and I still gag at Red Kool-aid!
0 -
Stacysmom, that cracked me up!!! Also, I sometimes find myself feeling bad that I haven't stopped in to say HI to this nurse or that doctor, because it's been so long since treatment ended, but surely they must miss me!!!
0 -
Fini: I just had a colonoscopy this morning and they told me immediately it was ok and even gave me pictures to take home of my nice clean colon.0
![[Deleted User]](https://us.v-cdn.net/6037276/uploads/defaultavatar/nF0ALO3I3QJM7.jpg)