You know youre a cancer patient when....
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when you figure you saved a lot of money not getting your hair colored, cut and highlighted, as well as the styling products you didn't have to buy...hm I must buy new shoes to make up for the money I saved..
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When you go on the internet and buy a range of wigs so you don't have to think about it later.
when you try to run up stairs like you always did and find that you can run only two before your lungs and knees give out.
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.....when even though you had delayed reconstruction, you keep your prosthesis just in case.
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When you now buy baby more baby wipes and pee catchers for yourself than you ever did for your babies.
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When you go to pack the quart size bag for carry on luggage and realize you don't have to stuff it with little bottles of shampoo and hair products! Yippee!!!!
When you don't care what kind of shampoo they have at the hotel. It's only to wash your scalp! Hmmm... I have extra room in that quart size bag - I can take home the hotel stuff! LOL!
When you blame something stupid on chemo brain and then are pleasantly surprised later it was a computer error (and maybe you're not losing your mind after all). This happened to me with a customer today! He actually understood chemo brain and told me it was probably a computer error!
When you wear a mask on the plane for a business trip and laugh at yourself for doing it!
When you can't control your temperature and during parts of the day you feel like you are going to pass out and then realize it's a hot flash.
When you get cranky from mood swings and can't get your flip flops on, so you throw them across the room (and then your husband places them nicely on the matt and doesn't ask questions).
Chemopause sucks!!!
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When you wear your wig in a hotel room until room service comes because you're afraid that with chemo brain you'll forget and answer the door bald, scaring the room service attendant and they might drop your food! And I was hungry!!!
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wonderand-I thought I was the only one who couldn't bring myself to throw the boob-in-a-box away! The mastectomy bras, that I will never be able to wear again (cups WAY to big now!) are in a bag on the bed in the guest room next to the prosthesis.
You know you are a cancer patient when you see the posthesis and mast bras you used to wear and think that having 2 numb breasts and a numb belly is a huge improvement.
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You know you are a cancer patient when you hide your prosthetic boob so the dog won't get it and then you forget where you put your boob. Has anyone seen my boob?
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when your DH sneaks into the bathroom to catch you washing your foob. And then he tries to pretend it is sexy and he is turned on. You both end up laughing hysterically.
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When you start a pot of hard-boiled eggs boiling and leave to go to the store. Your husband and child greet you at the door with "Your eggs exploded!!! There was a loud bang and then eggs everywhere!" And you forget you are cooking mac'n'cheese for the kids. And you leave the house for 8 hours with a candle burning and the back door open. When you COMPLETELY forget things people have said and appointments - as though a slate has been wiped clean. I am a very cautious individual who checks the house before leaving it and am famous among friends for my steel trap memory. When you develop severe impulse control issues <grin>
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When your husband starts to get a little frisky, so you take one of your foobs out of your bra and hand it to him, telling him you have a "headache." {hehe}
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This thread is so great - thanks for starting it. I loved your wig room service story Heather. I just had my breakfast delivered and after reading your post I patted me head to make sure that I hadn't answered the door with nothing on. I used to worry about clothing now it is the wig!
Lorraine
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You know you're a cancer patient when...
1. You realize that the definition of "going topless" which was formerly "going outside without wearing a blouse/sweater/T-shirt/bikini top" has changed to "going outside without wearing a wig/scarf/hat."
2. You can't remember the OTHER definition change you realized and planned to post when you started reading this thread 19 pages and 24 hours ago. :-P
(I effin' HATE chemo brain! I finished chemo just over a YEAR ago and I'm STILL half brain dead!)
But...still ON chemo: you're cooking a hamburger for dinner cause even though your taste buds are mostly dead, you're still tired of oatmeal and canned fruit, and you're out of eggs and are still trying to limit consumption of vanilla and chocolate pudding so you don't get fat. The kitchen (I use that term loosely) is so small you can only just barely turn around on it. You like raw onion on your burgers so while the burger is cooking on the frying pan on the stove, you peel the fresh onion. When it's peeled, you turn around, flip the burger over and the onion has disappeared! Did Scotty beam it up? You search the entire kitchen while periodically checking and turning the burger over, which is as I said TINY, and the onion is GONE. Finally, AFTER the burger is cooked, you find the onion*: it was right in front of you all along, in a dirty coffee cup in the kitchen sink! :-O
* a year after chemo you tell this story and thankfully proof the post cause otherwise you'd be saying you found the OVEN, not an ONION, in a dirty coffee cup in the sink! AAAARGH!
Still a year out: you're getting ready to go away for a week and you actually remember not only to load up your laptop with everything you'll need but back up your desktop computers to the external HD and shut them and the external HD down when done, but when you get on the highway in the beginning of your trip, you realize you left the DSL modem and wireless router on!
You start singing a chemotherapy song to the tune of Carly Simon's song "Anticipation." The new title is "Constipation," and the chorus goes like this:
"Constipation,
Constipaa-aaa-tion,
It's making me wait... it's keeping me waa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaiting...."
Now if only I could remember that other changed definition!!!!
(good thread, Anacortes Girl and the rest of you who kept it going)....
~Lena.
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- your dad takes you to get your Nuelasta shot at the hosptial infusion center on the Saturday mornings after Friday chemos.
You look at the kitchen clock Saturday morning and exclaim out loud to your husband "look at the time, I better hop in the dishwasher before dad picks me up for my shot!" HA!! I still giggle about that one when I think about it. Gina
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I totally agree, my 15 year old daughter WANTS to spend time with me. Funny and sad at the same time 0
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ROTFLMBO at the constipaa-aa-tion
Dishwasher....LOL
My seven year old is correcting me all the time about words I say wrong.
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When you have to make notes or log reminders in your cell for everything now.Violet I can relate.
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I didn't have to have chemo. Only 11 of 35 into rads but my memory is none to certain either--could a little part of it be the distraction of our condition?
Praying for us all as I leave for today's treatment.
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...when leaving for work and going to load new cd's in the changer, you leave the door open so you can put the old ones back in the house. Once loaded, hop in the vehicle and off to work you go. Midmorning you get a call from your neighbor asking if you forgot to let your fur-child back in and you know you gave him a 'be a good doggie today' treat in the kitchen before you left. After a few hours of panic as to who was in my house - you realize that I left the door open! At least he makes a direct bee-line in full run to this wonderful neighbors house who will always take him in or see he gets back in my house. Whew!
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...when you can recycle books you just read because you can't remember anything that happend in the plot. (How is this possible?!)
I had another one, but I forgot...
I wonder if we all got together and took an I.Q. test what our collective I.Q. would be? I shudder to think of it...
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Lady_Madonna ----- sometimes I wonder that about my middle school students! (About the collective IQ!)
Has anybody asked the moderators about the idea of making this into a book? I do think it would sell. Think of all the books you have bought since you were diagnosed with BC. If you are like me, you could fill a bookcase with them. I think a book like this thread would sell.
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Lena, small kitchen indeed if you could get the oven into the coffee cup!!!
when you spend 5 minutes looking at a candle and keep saying calendar. My Alzheimer's residents can string a sentence better that I can.
Busqueen, I wish I could just give DH my boobs once in a while. Altho I should be careful what I wish for!
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Or when you have a dozen or more unread books that you've started stacked up and lying around because the 2nd time you picked them up, you have no recollection of what you've read up to the point where you'd stopped, so you have no interest in continuing...
Lady Madonna, I was so relieved to see your post! I've never connected my stacked up unread books with chemobrain, but that's it -- that's why I'm lost the second time I pick one up and never finish them!
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When a former co-worker is giving you an EKG (ECG for purists
and it is perfectly o.k. for her to be touching your expanders to see how hard they really are....and she is wonderfully understanding.Michelleboots and busqueen,
I have to say, I am absolutely tickled about some of the foreplay/husband support moves out there...I love to see the sweet support amongst spouses. any relationship dynamic for that matter. To laugh in the face of cancer...now that's power!!
traci
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when you've been in the OR so often you remember to remind the nurse as she carts you off to surgery that you'll be needing a barf tray when you come to
when you've had drains so many times you actually own a "surgery day" jacket with pockets on the inside
when flashing 'em to everyone at the clinic, including the receptionist, doesn't bother you but your husband hasn't seen you au naturelle in months
when you are glad to have a cold, foggy summer and looking forward to a cold winter because you can't imagine how you would sleep with tamoxifen-induced heat flashes if the temp get up to 70 degrees
when you have accumulated a massive bra wardrobe to accomodate all the phases of reconstruction
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- when you're memory is so bad that you pretty much forget everything, but you no longer get upset - you just accept it for what it is CHEMOBRAIN.
- when you have ridges/lines across your finger nails from each Taxol treatment.........I wasn't warned about becoming a tree.
- when you find yourself noticing everyones boobs and find yourself thinking "too big, too small, juuuust right"
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OMG I am ROTFLMAO at all of these posts. WE have to do a book!!
I was in Good Will today and gorgeous set of china was put out. i grabbed it and immediately dropped most of it on the floor shattering it. I mean the noise was thunderous to the last chip! The entire store was deathly quiet when "WOW, that felt really good" popped out of my mouth.
I don't know if i am having a hot flash or the bit "O", then realize i haven't had an "O" in a very long time! Where does the time fly?
Lightening strike! Sweet dreams, SV
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...when you keep an inventory of old china just in case you really need to smash something
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When there's a medical emergency on your plane and you start to get teary eyed because you realize life is so precious! (the guy had a seizure - he looked okay when the EMT got him off the plane - scary though).
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