Ladies in their 30s
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Hi all,
I was diagnosed at 38 and will be 39 next month. I have been married to the love of my life for almost 9 years and we have an almost 8 year old boy. I have my exchange surgery 9/13/10 and am SO excited to be getting rid of these tissue expanders!
I finished the TC part of TCH 7/22/10 and my hair is between 1/4" and 1/2" long but not growing nearly fast enough for me (it would have to grow about 18" overnight to be fast enough for me).
Everyone have a relaxing weekend!
Jennifer
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Hi thirtysomethings! Wow there are so many of us and so many posts that I tried to read them all but just couldn't in one sitting. So many of your stories mirror mine. I was 36 when diagnosed in January 2009. I ended up having IDC in both breasts, hormone+ Her2- in both. I had 4ACx4Taxol. Had a bilateral mx June 30, 2009 the day after I turned 37. Started expander to implant recon and finished that Dec 16, 2009. I am happily married for 5 years and my DH was amazing through it all. We had tried to get pregnant for about three years and yes like many of you I took Clomid. We were looking into other fertility steps when I was diagnosed. The fertility specialist worked with my onc and I took Lupron during chemo. I did not have to have rads. Well, after starting Tamox I had the CPY2D6 test and came back a poor metabolizer so I had to have at least an oopherectomy but I chose to have the full hysterectomy. Devastating at the time because the dr's were going to have me wait 2 years and then ok a pregnancy but that was not to be. We have totally rebounded and are almost done with all of the pre adoption inspections, paperwork, etc. We can't wait to be parents and to meet our child(ren). Meno has not been that bad and I take Effexor for hot flashes and it has made them almost nonexistent. The hot flashes on Lupron and chemo (and when I took Clomid) were much worse. Now I take Femara and get Zometa for any bone loss. If I am not to be a biological mom then I am glad to be done with periods! Do not miss them at all especially the moods, cramps, and bloating. Libido has remained good but I must admit that the equipment needs a little help. Got to use lub which is new experience but my hubby and I try to make it fun. There is some pain and that upsets me but I am working through it. I am 38 now and have happily settled into life again. Looking forward to the future very much. I love hearing all of your stories, thanks for all of the sharing. A few things that I can try to help on are: nausea from chemo-the only thing that helped me was Decadron and believe me I tried all of the nausea meds. After one Decadron all nausea disappeared. They gave it to me for three days after treatment from then on. I took Zantac for the heartburn and that was great as well and you can get without a prescription. My hair is about chin length now and I love it. Don't think I will ever go long again, but then again I never thought I would be bald..lol! So glad to connect with all of you. It is such a shame that all of us that are "too young" for BC have had to take this journey but at least we are in it together.
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Lady Madonna - They did ask about medical history in our adoption and we had to get my oncologist to write a letter to go in our home study that social services does. Unfortunately nothing is off limits when adopting a baby but it wasn't bad and we didn't have any problems at all and are so happy we decided to pursue that option. We were actually approved when I was still in treatment undergoing rads. There are some agencies that require you to be a certain number of years past diagnosis and China won't even consider anyone with a cancer history but we just didn't go with those options. Most agencies were accepting of anything as long as you had an approved home study.
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Deenah- My son will be 3 in October and I had BMX 6/30. I was so nervous about how he would handle it, the surgery, the no lifting, hugging etc. I hope I ease your mind when I say, it was no big deal! I explained I had a boo boo that the Dr was going to take out and that after that I would be sore and couldn't lift etc. He came to see me in the hospital and looked at my "boobs" everyday asking, is mommy better? He would look at me and smile and say, almost! He never forgot I had boo boos, he was always gentle and still asks if I am sore, I admit sometimes I am, but I am ok. My other son was 7 months old at the time of surgery and it was much harder on him- and I was never even worried about him- go figure. Good luck to you.
To you other ladies, I will be honest, my heart aches reading your posts. Fertility is tough, it took me three years plus miscarriages to get my first. I also didn't have to deal with this bastard cancer at the time I wish you all the best, truly.
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nene2059 - I had fertility issues for a long time and took Clomid too. I believe that's why I got cancer actually. Congratulations on having your adoption stuff underway! We adopted a baby in November and it's a truly awesome experience. Everything happens for a reason I think and once you have that little baby, you'll be so happy. There's another interesting thread you should check out and weigh in on. It's in the Young Women with Breast Cancer group and the thread is called "Has anyone had IVF or other fertility treatment?" I gave my two cents towards the bottom. Crazy though how many of us have taken Clomid.
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Danielle - Very interesting about the Clomid! I mentioned it to the plastic surgeon I saw yesterday in SF, and she said she had at least 3 clients who are convinced that Clomid caused their cancers as well. I guess we will never know for sure. But, even if it did, without Clomid I would not have my beautiful children. Given the chance to do it again and know I was going to have to go through this, I would do it in a heartbeat. I can't imagine my life without my kids. They are worth it and more.
We had good meetings with the rads onc at UCSF and the plastic surgeon yestetday. The rads onc recommended a different plan for surgery and rads than my local dr.'s did though. Now I'm confused as to what to do. My local Dr.s want to only remove level 1 axilla nodes and do rads to that area afterward. UCSF recommends removing levels 1 and 2 and then not doing rads to the axilla area. I'm not finding good info on this online. All of the studies are for early stage BC, not Stage IIIC after neoadjuvant treatment. How do you make decisions like this?? It's so scary?
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deenah, that's a really tough one and with such completely different opinions and being at stage IIIc it seems like you have to get a third opinion. Wow, that's scary. What is the reason the UCSF Dr's don't think you need rads? What does your onc have to say?
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Hi all, I'm a "30's gal", too. Found a lump in April, just before turning 38, and a few weeks after my birthday, was diagnosed. Of course, this is NOT a path that I ever imagined my life would take. But, I try to keep my chin up and tell others that I am thankful for the new perspectives this "Detour" has provided.
I have a fantastic son - we just celebrated his 6th birthday earlier this week and also the start of first grade. His dad and I are divorced now for 2 1/2 years, but we have been able to remain friends.
I read the posts regarding Clomid - I never heard before about the connection to BC. I also took 3 or 4 cycles of it in 2003, but am so thankful for being able to conceive my son!
I have family history - my grandmother had BC, first at 73 and again in her early 80s. I had two previous screening mamo's that never showed any concern - I thank God that I felt the lump and got attentive follow up care.
I am heading in next Wed 9/8 for my fourth and last round of FEC. Then, 3 weeks later I will start 12 weeks of Taxol. The chemo is neoajuvant and so far, the results have been positive! I can barely feel the lump anymore - my Onc used to measure it with calipers and those are no longer needed! That (and my beautiful boy) is certainly helping to keep me going through all of this!
Wishing all of you a good holiday weekend!
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deenah- This isn't actually very helpful, i don't have any info, but i just wanted to say that I went to UCSF- I'm stage ll but teetering on the borderline of stage lll- and went the level 2 node removal/ no rads route. I don't know who you're talking to there, but my surgeon was dr Esserman, whose recommendation all this was, and i totally trust her. She is the head of the dept, and a big deal in BC research, so I figure she knows her stuff. In my case, they wanted to do the level 2 rather than sentinel node b/c I had node involvement before chemo (so there was never a question) and there was still a chance I'd be doing rads too until we got the path reports back on the nodes. I realize that what you want is long term data, which I can't offer- but all things being equal wouldn't you rather avoid rads? Especially if you're coming all the way from sac! Maybe the hormone/her2 status make your position different, I don't know. Good luck figuring it all out- I hope someone else here has more answers than me!0
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I just talked to my BS, and he said it really doesn't make that big a difference in terms of possible lymphadema if he takes levels 1 and 2 as opposed to just level 1. So, I told him I'd rather be more aggressive and take both levels. I can decide about rads later since I am not starting until 6 weeks after surgery. From what he understands though, since I have to have my supraclavia nodes radiated, he thinks they can't do that and not do the axilla too. That's not what UCSF said. I have to talk to my local rads dr. and see what she says. If she says she can't not radiate the underarm whether I want her to or not, and UCSF says the opposite, then we may have a problem. Luckily I don't have to face that right now! The reason UCSF said she wouldn't recommend rads under the arm (she still recommended I get rads in the supraclavia and mammory nodes as well as the chest wall) is because by removing them surgically, the risk of it returning to that area is around 1% anyway. To radiate as well just increases your chances of lymphadema. It is all confusing, but I am happy to have a decision for surgery at least. I can figure the radiation part out later since I do have some time.
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Jessamine - Thanks for your input! I didn't see Dr. Esserman, but I really liked the Dr. I saw. Her name is Dr. Schechter. She seemed really confident about her opinion. I have to do rads no matter what, it's just one of the areas (axillary) that is in question. I'm really hoping my local rads dr. doesn't tell me she can't do the rads without hitting that area. If she does, we may have to consider driving to SF to do my rads (it's 2 1/2 hour drive one way). I hope that doesn't happen!
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deenah, sounds like things are coming together, that's good! It's so overwhelming to have to make these life altering decisions! How nice that jessamine has some experience at UCSF to reassure you. Hopefully everyone will be on the same page with the rads.
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Hello,
I chose to have a doulble mastectomy and reconstrction vs a lumpectomy and chemo - my surgery was 08/25 and I about went stir crazy a few times. I am feeling better back to doing most normal things - the drains come out on Turesday - i seriously can not wait. I know that i wont be alse to RUN yet but I will be also to go for log walks and start getting in shape. I will be honest though. The excpanders make your chest ache and you mustcles twitch - it is not at all comforatble - sucks really - but it is better that what I though the alternative was - chemo - now they want me to take tampxafin for 5 years - do any of you know about this drug?
thanks
Melisa
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Hi Melissa, My friend just had her drains out and she was sooo happy! I understand they're a real pain in the a$$!! Sorry the TE's are giving you a "hard" time (hehe, isn't bc humor hilarious?! Have you been over to the "You know you're a cancer patient when..." thread? It's pretty darn funny!) My other girlfriend when through that process and although it took some time and discomfort she looks so great! My onc and I will be talking about Tamox when I finish rads. It blocks estrogen in breast tissue and it has a good, solid track record at preventing bc. My plan is to beat this beast!!
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Hey Melisa, I had a bilateral as well and tissue expanders. They will not always hurt. It hurts now because the pectoral muscle has to be pulled tightly over them during the surgery. In the body's amazing ability to adapt, in a little while you will barely know that they are there. They will just feel like a part of you. That is, of course until your first expansion. Slow and steady wins the race with expansions. I went 100cc's in each side the first time and felt like I was going to explode with the muscles in my chest and back. Slow and steady girl. Do less at a time even if you have to get fills more often and the pain is minimal and the body adjusts really quickly with each fill. I always referred to my expanders as "turtle shells" and that hardness is well worth it in the end when you get your implant exchange and they are sooooo SOFT! Hang in there it does get better. As Lady Madonna said Tamoxifen is a powerful drug that has been used to prevent or treat BC for over 30 years. Loads of discussions about Tamox and the other hormonals on here so you can get all the info, good and bad, beforehand so you can be really informed when you talk to your doc. Glad to hear that you did not have to have chemo. I did. Before surgery and dose dense (every two weeks). Not fabulous but very doable and since I had it before surgery my tumors were there with me during it and I got to feel and see them disappearing....that was a great feeling.
I have been thinking a lot lately about the number of women on this thread that stated they used Clomid. Since I did and got BC I have really been wondering about the connection. I was told when I was diagnosed that it had nothing to do with it. I took that as the truth but now I am starting to question. Anyone know about case studies that have been done?
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I am 38 and was diagnosed stage 4 back in mar 2009. I am a mom of three 10,7, 2.5 and still cannot believe that this is happening. I am a fighter and plan to kick cancer's butt, but sometimes I get scared. I hate that.
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Ackgirl72, Sucks to be diagnosed stage 4 but did you see the new thread with all the stage 4 survivors?! It's awesome!! My stage 4 friend went to MD Anderson and they told her they're working to cure her! Of course you get scared, that's totally understandable. I bet you get pissed off too, and that's a good thing because then you'll be ready to FIGHT!!! When you get scared come talk to us, we're here for you. (((Hugs.)))
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Hello to eveyone, I'm 30, 2 kids, 4 year old girl and 6 year old boy, my husband died in a car accident 3 years ago. Found a lump in my left breast, got my mammo, ultrasound. Mammo showed clustered calcifications (biorad4) and a small lump. I will have a biopsy on Sept 14th. Ever since my ultrasound and mammo I've been worried sick. Lost 10 pounds, have chest pains, my body aches , barely making to work each day. I'm so scared right now. I'm shocked to see so many of us ( in our 30's) posting here. I have no family history and thats why I'm so shocked that it happened to me. I'm mad that it happened to all of us. I don't know what to do anymore, this stress and waiting will kill me before any cancer does.
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zlota- A very big hug to you. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband and the fact that you are dealing with this at all. You are right, the waiting is the hardest part, it sucks. I hope you get good results from your biopsy. All of the ladies I have found here at bc.org are amazing- turn to us when you need to vent to look for strength or whatever. Sending you lots of positive energy and healthy thoughts.
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Zlota, LOL, I've often thought the same thing about the stress killing me before the cancer!! Well, if you haven't heard this a dozen times yet... the chances are very good that you don't have cancer, but we all understand how awful the waiting is! Yes, there are far too many of us here but it is so wonderful to have this place to come for friends and support. Hopefully we will never have to talk again, other than to hear that you DON'T have cancer, but if you do we will be here for you! Please keep us informed (but remember that new members are limited to 5 posts per day initially, I think it's for your first 50 posts-?)
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Zlota,
Just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts & prayers. Fingers are crossed for a negative biopsy! Waiting is truly the hardest part, I can't believe they can't get you in till the 14th! Try to fill your days and keep busy, remember to BREATH........
Good thoughts coming your way
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Thanks to all of you for thinking of me, any of you had stereotatic biopsy, is it painful? On the other hand its not the pain that I'm affraid of, its the results. I have major chest pains and shortness of breath and of course I'm thinking that if I have cancer its spreading to my lungs.
God I'm going crazy.
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Hi Zlota! I'm so sorry to hear about losing your husband. Let me also say that I, along with everyone here, will be praying for b9 results. The waiting is the worst part.
Those first few days after I was diagnosed, I also had chest pains, and trouble breathing. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest! The funny thing about it, is that pre-diagnosis, I really never experienced an anxiety attack, and always poo-pooed such things and thought that this stuff was all in people's heads. My thought was, "Oh please, have a glass of wine, chill out, and you'll be fine!" Well, when it happened to me, my first thought was,"Oh crap, the cancer spread to my lungs!" Then my husband confided in me that he was having the same symptoms, and was having the same reaction to my cancer diagnosis. Only then did I realize that it was pure anxiety! Once I realized this, I felt much better. On our first visit to the oncologist, he immediately asked me if I needed a Rx for Xanex. I had it filled, but only used it once or twice (my husband was the one who really needed it LOL)
My guess that your chest pains and shortness of breath are from the anxiety of waiting.
Please let us know when you get your results.
Hang in there
Sherrill
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Danielle, I just read your posts, sorry to hear about the late diagnosis.. I just thought I would reach out. we have identicle (almost) diagnosis, I was diag nosed age 32 IIb, lobal and ductal 3/16 nodes and 4 cm tumor however I am PR+ not PR-.... good luck girls and congrats with your adoption of your baby!!
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Hi! I've been lurking a while and finally decided to join the group. I was dianosed at 36 with DCIS (found out later I had some small areas of IDC, which changed me to stage 1A). I have one child, but was planning to have another when this hit so I'm now wrestling with whether I will go off Tamoxifen after one year to try to get pregnant. My breast surgeon and OB/GYN are advocating this plan...my male oncologist wants me to wait 5 years (doubtful I could get pregnant at 42), but other oncs I've consulted with say it's ok to start earlier.
Oh, and count me among the women who took Clomid. I'm not completely convinced that is the reason I got cancer, as there are other factors in my case and I know plenty of women who have taken it and haven't had BC, but it does make me wonder.
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Hi Tea! Man it makes me sad to see more names here every day. At least we have each other. How's it going on the Tamox? Sometimes I wish there was something I could blame this on...something that made sense. Nope, not for me...never took Clomid, no risk factors that pop out at all. Kinda freaks me out how random it is. Well, as long as it doesn't come back- I'm happy!
Tomorrow's Friday- Yay!!
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Lady M - I think just the sheer fact we have boobs makes us candidates for BC!
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Yes, and we are the lucky 1 in 400 women under 40 who are diagnosed with BC- lucky us!!! Couldn't we have won some other lotto?! I don't want anyone to win this one...
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Hi ladies! I'll join in. I had just turned 33 when I was dx'd in Nov 2008, I had a 3 and 5 year old at the time. It was rough going through chemo and still being active with the kids but I have a wonderful husband who really stepped up and got me through it and made sure I was able to focus on getting better....not cleaning the house or doing laundry etc.
It's been almost 2 years since Dx and my hair is down to shoulders and the kids are now 5 and 7 and things are basically back to normal. I am back to work full time as a health care analyst. I waited a while for reconstruction. I am currently getting expanded and will have my exchange surgery in December.
Anyway, that's a bit about me, nice to meet all of you!
Jill
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Hi all- I just had my birthday so im "36"-. Will be starting my chemo on 20th sep. I have two gals, 22month and 33month old.
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