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Comments

  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 433
    edited April 2011
    Yes, it really does sound like things are fine.  If you play it cool, he will chase you a bit more and you will like that.  And, again, Fearless is right - we have all been through a lot, so some hesitancy in the dating arena is normal.  I'd love to be dating, but I just had my first surgery, am still bald and losing eyelashes and eyebrows.  So dating is kind of out of the question for me now.  And also, it is hard to imagine.  But let me tell you - I have earned these "brand-new-will-be-perfect-in-the-fall" boobs and any man who gets to see them will A.) have to wait B.) be damned grateful.  Smile
  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    I know, you ladies are so very right, and it's what I have in my head of how it needs to be done but then I get ahead of myself. There is certainly stuff that has been talked about between him and I, initiated by him that makes me think he's looking forward to more and hoping this has potential to be a great relationship. He told me last night he will always put in 100% effort to make it work. We were talking about the distance because he is about 35-40 minutes from me. I was honest and said that if potentially it becomes more, seeing each other once or twice a month won't work for me. He said it would be more than that, also that he's optimistic, and that he really is attracted to me and what I have to offer and that we have so much in common, and that because he does really really want to see me again, our date last week seems like a long time ago, etc... I just over think and worry, I know, know... :)

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    sweetbean, sooooo agree with you on the boob comments. I have been to hell and back to earn these awesome boobs. Maybe they have scars and aren't perfect but damn it they are mine and I'm so happy with them.

  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 234
    edited April 2011

    I so have to agree with sweetbean and fearless.       Let him to the deciding :)  guess men love the chase, it's been going on in their lives for years.........since adam??? hehee

    That man will be greatful Sweetbean!!!       (I almost wish I had a new set!!! :( My one is so scarred up, it looks horrible. but atleast Adrian is tender with me about it :)

    And yes, we all have been thru alot!!    you sound so much like me dragonfly!! I have told you that before........we both need to stop the worrying, and just enjoy the relationship...... :)

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    I will when you will ;) it's an almost impossible habit to break I think?

  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 234
    edited April 2011

    otay.........let's start together!! :)         not impossible........they say......nothing is impossible!! just have to work hard at it!! :)

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    that's why I said "almost" ;) lol Ok starting now....

  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 234
    edited April 2011

    One more day and my best friend will be here!! I cannot wait!!!!!!! I am getting very antsy!! I am on vacation now, and not much to do except get a few things packed for our trip to Dallas.......we will be hanging out here tomorrow evening and Thursday evening then leaving for Dallas on Friday.... I will drive back by myself on Monday stopping in OKC to see my son, dil, and newest grandbaby girl ! Can't wait to see her. Only seen her once in her 5 months!! :(      Joan will be flying out of Dallas on Tuesday back to Atlanta.     

    Thinking I should go clean out the car here in a bit......but not got the energy right now yet.. :(

  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 234
    edited April 2011

    LMBO!! You funny dragonfly :)

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    Thanks :) HA HA

    Sounds like you're going to have an awesome time with your friend :) I hope you're able to relax and just enjoy the visit, no worrying ;)

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    HA HA You ladies will laugh, but we had text back and forth a few times today. Then he sent me this text that said "roses are red, violets are blue, I feel really happy when I'm talking to you" He said, yeah I know it's cheesy :) ! I loved it!!

  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 234
    edited April 2011

    Dragonfly........yw ! :)

    Hadley, congrats! Hopefully they will be awesome!!! :)

     That is funny and cheesy dragonfly, but cute! :)            

    Adrian took me to supper last night. we had a good time and a good chat. I don't think I am gonna do much worrying now :)   

    AND YES I will have a blast and do alot of relaxing when Joan gets here. The only stressfull part will be driving thru Dallas, and guess what?!! I TOLD HER SHE IS DOING THAT PART OF THE TRIP!! heheheeeeeee

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    I know it cracked me, which was the point so it worked :) We're going to dinner tonight so I'll keep ya posted!

    I'm glad you and Adrian had a good chat, hopefully the not worrying is working for you ;)

    That sounds like so much fun with your friend. I'm not a big fan of driving where I'm not familiar. I love love love my GPS!! 

  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 905
    edited April 2011

    Hadley, did your tat hurt?   Glad you are almost done!  

    Girls, men are biologically wired to chase.   It's in their DNA.   They can't help it.   Let them.   

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 706
    edited April 2011

    As someone who has "given up" after too many hurtful experiences and 2 cases of BC, just be cautious of men who seem too eager from the get go. Enjoy the chase and the flattery but go slowly with your emotions. Generally, men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I do hope your budding new relationships work out but please protect yourself until there seems to be substance to the relationship. I was just like you have been and had my heart broken too many times - and that was when I had breasts and a full head of hair. I will live vicariously through you but i want you to be more successful than I ever was. Oh and sometimes men who are very eager may also be very needy - you don't want that either. I have a male friend like that and he is constantly falling in love at first sight and it never works because of his neediness. I'm told there are good ones out there so make sure your new guys are one of them

  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 905
    edited April 2011

    Hrf, I totally agree with the first part.   As for needy guys, personally that doesn't bother me - but perhaps because I am somewhat needy.    So whether to reject a needy guy is a personal choice.   

    Hrf, I can relate to you - I, too, have stopped dating (at least for now).   Men don't even look at me now since my BC.   I was never beautiful, but I could at least get dates before.   

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    It's so easy to get wrapped up in it when it is going good, we're all that way to a point. We want to be loved, and in that relationship. It's hard for me to let my guard down, but once I do then I need to learn to take my time moving forward. Not just sex but in general terms. I haven't even told this guy yet, we have a date tonight and supposed to this weekend. So we'll see, at some point it will have to come up. That part makes me even more nervous than dating :(

  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 905
    edited April 2011

    I don't date right now, so it's hard for me to say when I would tell someone.   I guess just as soon as I could see real potential or when I thought they were into me.   I probably wouldn't make a long, drawn out thing about it - probably would just say, "by the way, I'm a BC survivor and had some work done on my "girls" and feel good these days, but wanted you to know".....but it's all individual.

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    I have to just wait and see like you said. I know it should be done in person but that scares the crap out of me!

  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 905
    edited April 2011

    I don't think it necessarily has to be done in person.    However you are most comfortable.   If it's going to matter to him (or not), how you tell him won't matter.

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    True, and that fear looming in my head is so overpowering that it will be a deciding factor with any guy. Who wants to deal with that rejection face to face?

  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 905
    edited April 2011

    He sounds pretty into you, I doubt he will blow you off....

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    Hope you're right fearless!

  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 905
    edited April 2011

    Hadley, I think those were very inappropriate comments from your doctor.   Glad you are pretty much done .....

  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 905
    edited April 2011

    Eh, I don't know if I would report him, but he has no class and is not professional.   But if you are happy with his work and he didn't touch you inappropriately, I don't know that I would write him up....he sounds like a big flirt, kind of arrogant....

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    Ok ladies, date #2 down and super successful. He is so sweet and funny, I see great potential.... I am not normally a sappy person but I had so much fun on our date, yet I was super sad and full of tears on the way home. I was thinking so much about telling him, and how scared I am that he could potentially say to hell with this. I think man this sucks at 34, to be dealing with this. Not like it's good at any age believe me I know that. Just feeling so confused and have a heavy heart :(

  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 433
    edited April 2011

    Yay for a fun second date!  Don't get too wrapped up in the long term potential right now - keep remembering that you BARELY know him.  (I speak from experience - I have made this mistake repeatedly.)  You will have a third date and another opportunity to get to know him better.  Make him prove himself to you before you tell him.  Make him prove himself to you, period.  Force yourself to keep a bit of emotional distance until he is the one begging you for a commitment.  When he asks you for a commitment, then that is when you can tell him.  Right now, just enjoy yourself and the fact that you are dating, post-BC.  You're my hero - I can't WAIT to get back out there!

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    Thank you so much sweetbean for your kind words. I am so not an emotional person so this is strange to me :) I think I will wait for a bit, I just know I don't want it to seem like I was hiding it or dishonest. He's a really good guy so far, very open and honest so I'll see how Saturday goes and if/when we see each other a few more times. You're right he does need to prove himself to me, that he could handle the whole "package" and is deserving of ME :)

  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 905
    edited April 2011

    I think you should tell him.   It sounds like there is good potential there, so you might as well know sooner rather than later, IMO.   

  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited April 2011

    We'll see how Saturday goes. We've went on 2 dates, which has been just dinner. Not really something I want to say over a beer and a burger. We're supposed to spend a decent amount of time together Saturday so I'll have to see what comes up and how it goes. Makes me sick thinking about it :(

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