Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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I am going to keep looking, I went back on POF tonight and made an attempt to contact a few guys so we'll see. I'm not going to ask to see him or any effort, it's in his court now!
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Sorry I dissapeared, I went to pick up my daughter from a friend's house. I think that the time to tell depends only in your comfort level, if he had had prostate cancer or any other kind of cancer nobody would expect him to tell about it from the beginning. Society has expectations from women that they don't have from men. In my opinion you did great and you don't have anything to regret. Like he said, it's personal, and we tell personal things when we feel comfortable enough to do it.
Hope that you manage to have some sleep, tomorrow will be a better day ( :
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I know, I'm such a mess I swear. I dated and was married to my ex for almost 11 years, then was seeing a guy from diagnosis, to chemo and all the surgeries. So this whole thing is new ground to me, as well as dating in general basically. No right or wrong way to approach it I suppose, so hopefully we can just move forward!
I'm hoping too that I can get some sleep
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Have a good night!
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I agree with Hrf. She said the same thing I did - if he wasn't interested, you would not have heard from him, Trust me on this. Men have no problem just dropping out of sight. Anyways, I really think he is cool with it. But (no offense), I think you need to stop going on and on about it (with him). You have expressed to him more than once now, that you feel it has changed things between you. But that's coming from you, not him. You told him - now just let it go and try to have fun with him. If he wants to discuss it further, he knows you are okay with that.
I agree with Hadley, too - that after 3 dates, it is too soon to totally let your guard down. You are not in a committed relationship with this guy yet - keep looking. I cannot emphasize this enough. I know you like him and don't want to date others right now, but I can PROMISE you this. If he thinks you are dating others, he will want you more, not less.
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I know, I'm done discussing it believe me. We had a really good just casual fun chat after that convo I posted. I told him I had fun playing putt putt and stuff, he said next time we'll play a real round of golf, and so we'll just see how it goes from here. I won't ask him to see get together, and I won't make any moves. It's in his court. I did go on and on I see that now, but I think it ended on a good note.
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I find it interesting he told his family. I see that as a good thing. You are obviously special enough to him after only 3 dates that he is telling his family about you.
He doesn't live with them, though, does he?
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No he doesn't live with them
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Just an update... we've talked every night. Good friendly talks with a few little serious side notes in there. Still no effort for another date yet but I'm doing my best to remain patient and hopeful that soon his actions will match all the right things he's saying to me.
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Stacy emailed back, she said at this time I can wear any type of bra I like (wire or no wire)
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Hmm....if he wants to see you this weekend, he should ask by tonight. I'm kind of rigid that way - I don't like last minute invites.
To be honest, if he doesn't ask you by tonight, I would make other weekend plans.
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Oh I have other weekend plans believe me. Going to the brewfest with a bunch of my girl friends, got my daughters volleyball game and babysitting my friends daughter for a few hours.
I was surprised, I was coming back from lunch today and my phone rang. He was on lunch, figured I would be too and called to say hi & see how my day was going!
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Sounds very good :-) He does not sound like he is losing interest.
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Thanks I hope not, I was so surprised to hear from him like that. He's never called during the day!
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He sounds like a very caring sweet guy Dragonfly!! Hoping the best for you!!!!!!!
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Thanks ladies, still waiting for him to ask me out again but trying to be positive and patient
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Ok ladies, he called again tonight, we talked for over 2 hours! It was a great talk, just like it had been the many times before. His plans changed because he has to work Saturday and Sunday, so he won't have his boys at night. So he asked about the brewfest and stuff, and he's going to come with me when he gets off work and meet a couple of my friends!!
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Sounds very promising to me.
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Sounds good....
Did you indicate in your profile you are looking for something serious? I don't really know what to write. But I am older than you - 46 - so am looking to date men in their early to mid 50's.
I don't want to come on needy, but at the same time I want to weed out guys who aren't serious....
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I don't remember on eharmony if there is a spot for that? I think the intention of that site is to find long term relationships. I'm ok with getting married again or not, open to either at this point. I would like the whole package if that makes sense? We did talk about all of this before we met and are on the same page.
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Hi Dragonfly, really happy for you that things are looking so good! enjoy the weekend!
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Thanks so much
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I think you are right - doubt EH would attract as many player types as the free sites. Anyways, I don't really think it matters what I put in my profile. First and foremost, men look at attraction, and if that's not there, they will just close the match or not contact me. If they find you attractive, they will then stop and read the profile, but I don't think they put much stock into it, like women do.
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I think dating in general is so hard, no matter in person or online! I really don't know how you find a perfect match or even a good match? It just seems impossible. I'm praying, this guy is a good catch and that it keeps going in a positive way like it has been. It's about dang time! We text back and forth this morning a bit and I called him at lunch. He was off today since he's working Saturday. I feel like a high schooler again. Trying to take 1 day at a time with him
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Well I may have jumped the gun here... I told him last night that my friend knew he was coming Saturday and was glad to hear it. So he said he hates to disappoint me, and that depending on how late he works it could be really tough. Which is true because he's about 35 minutes from me, and the gardens are a little east of that even more. He said he doesn't anticipate working that late, and said to be optimistic. I told him if it would be easier, I could just go to the brewfest as planned and come over to his place when he gets off work and save him all the driving...
I know he's a great guy, he's busy, and I'm struggling with trying to put in effort and being needy/pushy?
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I don't think you are being needy, but I wouldn't initiate anything else right now. Let him put forth some effort.
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I know so much for offering sugsestions and stuff huh? Texting gets confusing so much we were talking about a couple different things this morning and he said something about "like I don't already feel enough pressure" I don't know what he was referring to, if he was joking or wtf. I said Um, I hope you don't mean you're pressured by me, because all I did was offer a couple suggestions on how we could hang out this weekend. Then I dropped it and didn't text him any more, and have no intentions. I have not initiated the conversations with him at all. I just don't get the rollercoaster and why that happens?
So yep, back to my original plan. I just got off the phone with 3 of my friends, there are about 6 of us going to the brew fest tomorrow night. So I'm going to go out with them, have fun do my best to not worry about it!!
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Wow, that was kind of a nasty comment he made. Dragonfly, look....I know I am not the best person to give advice - being as how I am single and all - but I think in these early stages, you really need to let them do the initiating.
I would lay low for awhile. You'll be hearing from him again, be cool when you do.
WE know you're awesome......now he needs to.0 -
I am going to be cool, and not respond right away and let him ponder....I don't need to be playing games I deserve someone to chase me! I'm just torn between brushing if off as a misunderstanding, and dang text messages, or he meant he felt pressured to come over after working a long day etc...Or throwing in the towel, i've been burned too many times before so I'm really on guard. This guy has been nothing but sweet, honest and thoughtful since day 1 so I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. For now.
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Maybe he just wanted a night alone, who knows. Maybe he just wants to chill and watch a game in his underwear and drink beer...I've had nights like that, where I just want to be left alone.
I really doubt he had other plans with someone or he would not have mentioned trying to go at all. I think your plan is a good one. And it's not over, don't worry.
Another possibility is he might be broke. These roofers (I have dated them), it's hard - they make good money when they work, but they are in and out of work a lot. They get laid off a lot. They often go paycheck to paycheck. He may not have wanted to go out and not be able to offer you food and drink, etc.
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