Bonfire of the Goddesses
Comments
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Oh, and I did get to BJ's on time with my daughter....................such fun with her.......love the gal..........
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ducky - What don't you switch to Tamoxifen. It is not as hard on the bone/ joints. Some do have the aches and pains others don't. I am one of the lucky ones that don't. And before you say anything, I am postmenopausal and couldn't tolerate Arimidex or Femara.
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Jo..........the Onc. did mention Tamox when I saw her 1 week ago................then she said "have you ever had a blood clot"............my answer was "yes, 6 times with 6 kids.............she said "forget Tamox, you can't take it..................I thought ok, and all that is left is the AI's, and why switch to another..........they all "suck"....................
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Ducky , I'm in the same boat---all Ai's caused major s.e.'s , but it was due to a drug interaction with Norvasc/amildopine. The worst is accelerated osteopenia. Now I have to be careful the way I step or lift something. It feels as if bones are going to break. Afraid of the Biphosphanates--fosamax, reclast ETC. b/c of bone necrosis-----figure I'll get whatever is the worst.
INTO THE FIRE WITH IT ALL. BURN STUFF THAT HURTS , BURN TILL YOU ARE ASHES IN THE WIND.
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Ducky - same with me on the tamoxifen. Family history of blood clots. I wouldn't take it anyway. Same with anything else the onco wants to recommend because of SE's.
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Like I said to the Onc.......last visit....................The cure will kill you...............might have said this before.........her recommendation for the pain.........Oxycodone...............I said "no"..............she said ....."well just for the days when you really need something"......................I said ......"well that would be every friggin day", so the answer is "no"....................she continued writing, and on the way out of the office I said to her "watch this"................then threw the script in her trash can...................she said ............"well I don't know what you want from me then"...................I said "a cure, "not a band-aid".......................
I get like that some days, and she got me on one of them...............do you think I feel bad for the way I addressed her............................NOT ONE DAMN BIT...............
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Ducky right there with you babe-----oxycodone-short acting form/oxycontin-long acting form----are more highly addicting than morphine/heroin. AND they don't take the pain away. Plus the drugs make you stupid--higher that a kite. Combo drugs are Oxy with tylenol>>percocet/roxicet. Hydrocodone, combo drugs are>>lortab/lorcet/ vicodin. Ultram is of a different nature, but don't be diluded that it can't be addicting. Once after it first came out , I asked for it b/c of it's nonaddicting description. Until I took care of an ICU patient that was highly addicted to it----mine was gone done with.
All My patients got this blurb--"This is a narcotic, narcotics can be addicting, please take only when needed and only for as long as needed" Course I'm writing this while I'm having my wine and cigarette @ 3:52 am.
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Sas................back to tylenol arthritis (only when I'm desperate), and Motrin................I try to deal with it most of the time........I'm not playing "hero", I just hate medicine....................I'd go off Femara if I thought I could, but it is a huge trade-off.....................The other day my pressure was 100/60..............I said to my Cardio.........ooo, ooo, can I go off this now...............................he smiled and said "NO" end of conversation....................
It is what it is, but no more medicine for me.....................especially something that I can sell on the street, or would be mugged for, if they thoght I had it in my handbag................lol.
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Sas, sorry to hear about Nancy's mother...........know what a scare that must have been.......being 77, and the mother of 6, grandmother of 18, and 2 "Great's"..............I can understand what a scare it is................my attack, was mild, and drove myself to the hospital, but it still scared the hell out of the kids when they finally got the call from the hospital, that I had a heart attack..................oh were they mad at me for driving.............hey, it was 3am, and I wasn't going to wake them up, or the whole neighborhood with the ambulance...............lol, and I did real good driving myself there.......................hell I'm still alive to tell the story.
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Sas, sorry to hear about Nancy's mother...........know what a scare that must have been.......being 77, and the mother of 6, grandmother of 18, and 2 "Great's"..............I can understand what a scare it is................my attack, was mild, and drove myself to the hospital back in 2007, but it still scared the hell out of the kids when they finally got the call from the hospital, that I had a heart attack..................oh well they were mad at me for driving.............hey, it was 3am, and I wasn't going to wake them up, or the whole neighborhood with the ambulance...............lol, and I did real good driving myself there.......................hell I'm still alive to tell the story.
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Have I tossed in fatigue lately????? Well, let me toss it again!!!! I am on vacation in VT, want so desperately to do yoga and hike and enjoy the gorgeous weather, but so far have only been functional about 4 hours a day to be up and about, needing to rest so much, finding pain increases with fatigue. So angry with "promises" that "you will get better, you will feel better" for the past 2 years. So angry I agreed to chemo - have not felt well since the day before chemo #1. Probably have a bit of anxiety in there as well - 2 years ago I had a great VT vacation, came back home & had dx of BC; last year was looking forward to VT, had good vacation, even improved a little, came back home & had dx of recurrence. Wonder what this year will bring?
So on the positive side, the weather is gorgeous, I have had some great meals out with my DH, the scenery is beautiful even if I am not hiking the hills like I would want to. The birds are singing. I have been able to visit with friends from the area. Looking forward to a couple of girl friends arriving this evening, looking forward to wine & a beautiful sunset.
duckyb, I agree with you 1000% on the meds - am off most of them, but still depending on ambien for sleep, occasional tylenol/hydrocodone for pain late in the day (not early as it makes me goofy & sleepy), may go back to vitamin D when I get home, but nothing on vacation! And BTW, it would scare me too about you driving with a heart attack!!! I know you didn't have some cardiac arrhythmia, but if you had experienced one, you might have crashed your car! So please promise me that if that ever happens to you again, just call an ambulance - you don't have to call the kids until later. Please????
SAS, hope you are doing well. Your posts are sounding more like the old SAS again - so nice to see!
Hugs to all the rest of you - have been reading, will post more later.0 -
Linda..................promise........will call the ambulance.............honestly, I thought it was nothing.....when they said "your having a heart attack", I said ...........your kidding................the nurse said "well what did you think brought you here"................my answer...............Anxiety.....................2 times previously to the HA..........I went in an ambulance and it was "anxiety".................so I thought..............this time, I drive.................who knew.............lol
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ducky, thanks for the explanation - I am much relieved that at least you THOUGHT about the ambulance.
It's so difficult, not knowing when something is just our own anxiety and when it is something truly serious. I get tired of thinking about all the symptoms all the time, try to ignore them until they just won't be ignored, and then wonder if I am just going crazy or if there is something that can be done to help..... ah, well, here we are, right where we are, feeling just as we are.... wishing for that crystal ball....0 -
Hubby's new fan he bought at a garage sale. In the living room, bulky, ugly, tips over, loud on high, won't blow down or straight, only up. But he loves this danged fan for some reason. We have nice ones on pedestals in bedrooms, a garage fan in there, and this thing. Just saying, it's the only thing I can think of today so that is good, hmmm.
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I want to throw in annual pap tests. Hate going to them and I have mine on Wed. Especially hate them now that Tamoxifen wants to screw with everything down there. Okay! Enough said.
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Jo....How about throwing into the fire those trans-vaginal ultrasounds......YUK!
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How about sleepless nights? NIne days until my BMX.
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OK VR, gotta know...do they hurt? Or are they just yucko/uncomfortable? Going to be seeing gyn soon and asking about a baseline test, as you suggested....eeeks! BC sucks!!! Into the fire with all things BC!!!
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Jo, you reminded me that I need to make an appt for my pap, too.
Maybe I'll be lucky and keep forgetting to call.
That's my kind of chemobrain!
Leah
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dancetrancer - I had a baseline done last year and mine did not hurt. He just used this thing that looks like a probe and I could see images on a screen. It is kinda cool to see what the inside looks like. I'm just being weird today. My GYN did it right after my pap. It is a bit yucky but tolerable.
Leah - If you are on Tamoxifen, please don't forget to call. Having the pap is just as important as a mammo.
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Thanks, Jo. I'm on Femara so at least that's one worry I can shelve. Sort of.
Had paps for years, never asked for the results figuring doc would call if I needed followup. After BC, had pap and asked for results right away. I no longer trust my body.
Leah
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I want to throw this d..n seroma on the fire. It has been drained five times. The last timeseveral days ago they actually did with ultrasound guidance and got every last drop. Quite a dent but I was thrilled. Unfortunately it appears to be refilling. First mammo in two weeks so maybe it will squash it away. If only..
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Had the vaginal ultrasound a few times.........it is highly recommended at the hospital where I go to have my ultrasounds done.............It is no different then putting in a tampon, if you ever used those..............didn't bother me at all............just a little weird, having a "male" tech, but he asked me to insert it once he left the room, and then came back in.......completely covered, and he was very discreet.................not bad at all.............
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Thanks so much Jo and Ducky - I'm relieved!
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Did someone say a transvaginal ultrasound was like inserting a tampon??? Geeeezzzz!!! I must be getting mine done in the wrong place! Mine is the size of a full size cucumber! Not THAT awful considering thIngs, such as 7lb babies, come down through that canal! But I can't stand having them done every 6 months! My track record hasn't been great because they keep finding funky things that need scraping! I have another one scheduled for August! I am going to remain optimistic that there won't be any surprises...
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So I will insist to insert the probey thingee myself. Good to know. Ten tests and appts scheduled for the next week. AUGH another vacation for Hubby w cancer mines everywhere.
Onto the fire w the first handicap paperwork I filled out and the GP office lost. Took 3 weeks to accomplish picking up paperwork, filling it out, getting it to the GP office, waiting for her to sign it, waiting for the caall to come get it, being able to go back and get it. They lost it. I stood there by a scented plugin that gave me a migraine in seconds, told towait, so went to stand in hall and wait, went back in after five min, said I am going to be back soon, you guys figure it out, came back, Hubby got it. A second form had been filled in by GP, theh paperwork needed for license bureau was ready for me to refill in again. THEY HAD THE PAPERWORK THERE WHEN I WAS TOLD TO GO TO THE LICENSE BRANCH AND SENT ME ON THE GOOSE CHASE ANYWAY??????!!!!!%$%#^$^& I am exhausted, nauseous, irritated, been a bad three weeks and could have been using a handicap sticker for awhile.
ONTO THE FIRE, okay calm, breathe now breathe..... onto the fire, the mass above my incision that the GP told me was there a month ago that I say is left over breast tissue after BS took out 1/4 + + of by right boob. But today the onc said the same thing, there is the mass, right there, same place. And I am still in denial. They will have to prove it, show me on the PET/CT and US that is is not my left over breast tissue, it does feel weird and like a mass but prove it. If they find it there, I will have another mammo to see the claws of the beast before I believe it.
Onto the fire with being scheduled for the wrong oncologist today. Took me 5 mo to decide to go to the onc I chose, then a month to get in, and went in to find I was scheduled to see his brother. No one ran it by me that I might choose to drive to another town to see the one I said I would go to.... GPs office did the scheduling...... just scheduled it and left me to find out later. I do not really prefer this onc at all, I want someone I can communicate with, throw my life in his hands and who will act like he really believe I am the most important person on the cancer team - their logo, not mine. Now to decide to switch to the first onc or the one who was not shy or aloof or whatever who was at the center that I caught talking to patients like they were real people. Doesn't mean he is more skilled, more dedicated, but I need to be able to talk to my doctor. I am not a follower, I am the one who marches to my own drum, I am soooooo not changing.
Onto the fire with my first trip into a cancer center today just to pick up paperwork to fill out in the park. It was Mon morn, the place was standing room only - even though they are timely w appts, people were waiting for their chemo and radz. Wheelchairs, walkers, IVs, oxygen, people looking so ill, so tired.... I walked out shaking. I cried and cried. It is not right, it is not right. Cancer sucks.
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Eeeks VR! Thanks for telling me that...I'll be discussing the size of the "cucumber" with my ob/gyn, and hopefully I won't be surprised. Wow, this conversation could really turn here...LOL
Hope your next one is uneventful!
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EEEks - into the fire with all the stuff females have to endure even when not sick!
I thought I had an external trans v US...is there such a thing? It was a long time ago. Who thinks up these instruments of torture??? And why do they do them? Is it to detect ca?I found a bottle of hibba cleanse in my cabinet today....throw it in.
(((((((((Veggy)))))))))
A hug for each day...0 -
Hey Ladies........I said it was like inserting a tampon, if you ever used them.................of course the thing isn't the size of a tampon......it is longer, and a little rounder...........but a cucumber................never..........honest, it is no big deal...........I'm a big baby about anything that is out of the ordinary, or hurts.............so trust me.......if I can do this, anyone can.....................it is not bad..................and really it sure as hell beats not getting it done, and finding out you have "ovarian cancer" way too late to do anything about it...........
Remember, they don't do this unless they are looking for something else, from symptoms your having in the nether region, or if your on a drug, that can cause a problem.......................so, when you go in to have the ultrasound done (at least where I went)........the tech said................we would like to do a vaginal ultrasound while your hear .........we highly recommend that you have this done, because it gives the Dr. a much better view of what is going on inside, as opposed to just checking from the outside....................I said "go for it", anything to keep me from getting any type of cancer......................it is not bad...............really...........like i said.......I'm a huge baby, so if I can do it anyone can.
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Thank you Ducky!!!
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