TRIPLE POSITIVE GROUP
Comments
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Just checking in everyone, hope you all had a blessed and relaxing Thanksgiving! I feel like I can barely keep up on this thread (or any for that matter lol). In addition to this cancer which now seems like a full-time job, I work full-time and am in grad school. Oh, and my kids and husband take up some time too
So please know that just because I'm not responding to all the posts on here doesn't mean I'm not reading them or don't care! I check in when I have the time to read through, and am encouraged by good news you all share, and also sympathetic when people post gripes, frustrations and worries. PBrain, I'm SO sorry you had to deal with that after coming home from the hospital! I have to think that your co-workers have enough common sense to know that while you're undergoing cancer treatment and in the hospital that of course your house wouldn't been in pristine shape. Get your key back from your "friend" ASAP! How horrible, I'm so sorry. I hope you are feeling better and the next chemo treatment doesn't knock you down so badly.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend ladies. I'm not doing the BF shopping thing....I did a little online but this year I'm just taking it easy and chilling with my family. I can't get into the spirit of the hunt this year.
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No, I just got radiation. They did three more sophisticated tests on me: FISH, mammaprint and oncotype and the scores indicated that chemo would not be indicated.
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Kimby - very unusual to have grade one HER2+ve bc - also oncotype does not apply to HER2 except for confirming it is in fact that. How big was your tumour?
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I was just going back through several pages to see if I could find any other Grade 1 tumors on this thread and then I came back to this page and saw your post, suzieq60.
I've been reading the archives (up to pg 145 now) and I don't recall ever seeing anyone with a Grade 1 tumor but now I'm going to be on the look-out.
KimbytheSea, you're even more rare than before...
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soltantio -
I have to say that I've had one of the most down (?) days since my surgery. Even the days this past week when I was freaking out about the node didn't feel quite as blechy as this day.
I was actually thinking about looking for a bookmark I have for a biorhythms site to see if mine are low today (even though I don't know how much, if any, stock I put in biorhythms).
As far as being a hypochondriac goes, I hope that didn't come off as being judgmental toward anyone else. I was just referring to yet another possible by-product of cancer that sucks along with all the others. I'm just having one of those days where I'm looking down the long tunnel and not seeing much light at the end of it. Then again, I'm not a big holiday person so maybe that's it.
I don't blame you for being annoyed by your sister-in-law's actions (and I had to just now go look up the definition of Schadenfreude to refresh my memory). Like a total idiot I told some people on a message board where I used to post that I have BC today. I think that's probably a big part of what's wrong with me today (and that's what my husband thinks - and he's always right
). I don't know what got into me, actually, I do know but it's a long story. Anyway, I had posted on this particular message board for about seven years (on and off) but left back in July about the time I had the "bad mammogram." Part of never wanting to tell any of the people there actually was tied up with the Schadenfreude concept so I'm glad you mentioned it because I never would have remembered the word for it.I'm really feeling ready for tomorrow to get here but looking up at the clock thingy on my laptop, it's already here (but it won't be here until I put some sleep between this day and the next).
I hope you have a better day tomorrow - same to everyone else!!!
Editing to add - I just reread your post - I missed this on the first read:
"Oh I also loved that she sat me at the kids table – what the f&%#!?"
WTF indeed! I'm sure you don't mind kids but were you the only adult at the kids table?? We went out to dinner - just the two of us (as per usual) but this was kind of interesting...we saw this big group of people who were leaving with all kinds of table decorations. I guess they had made reservations for their entire family and brought items to decorate their table with (at the restaurant). They even had placemats. Since we usually don't go out to eat on holidays seeing that was a first for us but maybe it's pretty commonplace. The nice thing is - all they had to do was gather up all their decorations and go. No dirty dishes or leftovers to contend with!
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LeeA and suzieq60,
Im HER2+++, done twice, and Grade 1. I actually asked my onc about this but was told im one of the "special cases".0 -
On my way to chemo #3.
(((( Jenn, LeeA, Rozem)))))
Okay.....(((((everyone))))
Sounds like we all need a hug.0 -
PBrain,
Welcome to the club of those who've been disappointed and incredibly hurt by family and friends! This at the time when we can least deal with it. This person is obviously clueless as to the challenges someone dealing with a cancer diagnosis and chemo regime faces.
It's difficult to imagine that someone doesn't understand that cleaning house is not a priority indeed....even a possibility for most...during chemo.
Don't see how you could have avoided telling her. It was just a question of doing it personally or having someone else tell her.
Forget about being embarassed. Most people actually realize what you are going through and will get that immediately.
Great you're feeling better!0 -
I am so sorry for all the unpleasantness that you guys encountered over the last few days! I'm not quite to the point you all are in your treatment; I hopefully will start TCH next week. I have only been busy recovering from surgeries - excisional biopsy, bmx, removal of necrotic tissue. Hearing your stories makes me want to shelter myself from those sorts of insensitivity and meanness.
PBrain- I hope you can get past that "friend"'s actions. The most important person right now is YOU! Your job is to make sure you get what you need to make yourself better -- anything or anybody else just needs to stay out of the way! Easy for me to say, right?
And I do believe that your co-workers will have the grace to dismiss what your pet-sitter said.I was a little hurt that no one thought about inviting us to Thanksgiving. My parents had their Thanksgiving dinner at the senior center on Tuesday. My SIL, who usually hosts, went to her in-laws this time, and apparently nobody else thought about us! No big deal, really, but I hope when I get on the other side of this I will remember and be more sensitive to others. Today we are seeing family to celebrate my daughter's birthday - I hope I don't get seated at the kids' table or bombarded with questions, or . . . .
To all you girls who have colds, I wish you speedy recoveries. And to everyone who has been wounded in other ways, I wish you soothing and peace.
Martha
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I thought that HER2+++ always scored chemo, and ER/PR+ always got anti-hormonals of some type. I've seen a lot of women with HER2+ and stage 0 or 1 at my chemo center, and they all get chemo. Hmmmmm......
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the American Cancer Society's 800 number offered to send volunteers to help me with housecleaning if I ever needed that. I never had to because my family was over all the time, but I would definitely try that route instead of your friend. Sorry to hear that, you should not feel bad, if your body can't do it... I dont see the crime in not cleaning.
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@Suzie: about eight tenths of a centimeter, which is probably why they didn't do chemo with Herceptin. I am on Arimidex, however.
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Awnoo - that is awesome I didn't know that ACS did that!
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Pbrain, I have four dogs, too, and I'm horrified by what your 'friend" said. Horrified. I feel angry for you. How dare she?
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Kimby - glad you're on the anti-hormonals!
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Sal: I'm on Arimidex after 35 rounds of radiation. i wish the combo of ILC Triple Pos I have weren't so rare. :-(
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Lindakr and others yes u can contact the cancer society and u can et house cleaning and rides to app'tments, to chemo and rads. Ad that a wonderful thing that they do All of the people are volunteer and there is more than u'd think that are so kind. So if u need any of these things rememer to csll them. They are wonderful to work with u. I did for my rads which I had over 30 and someone came to get me and waited those were short and drove me home--It was all neighborhood people and my DD set it up. So don't forget about themMy BIL drove me every week for 2 yrs to chemo but he could but everyday was crazy.
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Ah thanks guys, I knew you would understand. I've found out that she also called my mother. Geeze. It seriously wasn't that bad in here. I'm not a housekeeper to begin with. I'm a scientist who loves to garden and make things, not dust, mop and clean.
Lee, you hit it on the head, she is one seriously meddling soul. She focuses on whoever she feels needs help and she flings herself on that person. She is very insecure and thin skinned. But when I confronted her on this last night, she felt 100% justified and told me that my boss had seen the mess with her own eyes and could confirm how awful it was. She said she was sorry I felt the way I did. How's that for a cop out--not I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but sorry you feel that way. She's a bitch. I'm calling my kennel to set up emergency dog walking for any future chemo issues.
Sol, singles should always be placed at the kids table. We're not really adult yet.
Sorry to sound so bitter. I'm done and I feel much better for the rant.
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sol - good thing I hadn't just taken a sip of coffee because I laughed out loud about the kid's table - thanks, I needed a good laugh!
pbrain - this is not a friend - friends don't judge - cut her loose immediately, or as much as you can if she is a co-worker. I am guessing that those who know her realize that she has limitations in the "friend" department and I am willing to bet she wanted attention for "helping" you SO MUCH, because she is such a good friend and stellar person - gag! There is an organization called Cleaning for a Reason that helps cancer patients. It is a network of commercial housekeeping businesses that do this service for FREE - here is the link:
http://www.cleaningforareason.org/
I think coming into the holiday season while undergoing treatment is hard - it is stressful under the best of circumstances - and I think when our energy and resources are limited we are more grumpy, sad, fearful, etc. - take a deep breath and get through the hour, day, week, month the best you can. Our friends and families are consumed with their own stresses at this time of year and I think they often forget how hard this is for us right now. Not saying this to give anyone who is not nice a pass... just don't waste your emotional energy on it.
mstori - thinking of you today - when you go home this afternoon you are half-way done, so yay for that!
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pbrain, I am so sorry that your "FRIEND" has hurt you this way. Please get your key back.this woman can not be trusted. I love to walk the dog,wish I live close I would walk your doggie everyday. So glad you are feeling better,praying that your next chemo goes very smooth without any SE's
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eileen - you were sweet to mention me in your earlier post - I remember how frightened you were of chemo and you got through it with strength and grace - it was my pleasure to support and encourage you!
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Pbrain - did you tell that stupid woman you had spent the previous week throwing up - bit hard to keep tidy in that situation - what a bitch!!! Not to mention you have also been recovering from surgery and the trauma of a bc dx.
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I think Special K really hit on it. This chick probably took one look around and saw that I'd let the place go and decided she needed a ton of attention for what she was about to do. She thinks everyone is looking at her, talking about her, thinking of her, etc. She's a hog for attention. So she couldn't just quietly tidy up and maybe scrub the bathroom. No, she had to call the wire services and turn it into a giant bid for attention. Plus she loves drama. So attention and drama.
I'm calling my kennel and requesting an emergency dog walker for my next treatment. I am not letting that woman in my house again. Thanks everyone for the affirmations!
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Pbrain, get the key back immediately. One thing I did learn from chemo is that I am not tolerating toxic people who claim to be friends. I cut one person loose and never looked back. She was and is a constantly negative person.
On the blood draw issue....any bloodwork that was needed, I had them send the request over to my ONC's office and then would go in for them to do the draw through accessing my port. It was wonderful and every doctor had no problem ordering it that way.0 -
PBrain said: "She focuses on whoever she feels needs help and she flings herself on that person. She is very insecure and thin skinned."
^^^^^
Her insecurity requires her to find fault in others in order to feel better about herself. I'm sure she was in a near-orgasmic state while doing all this "do-gooding" on your behalf because you see, the "help" she provides others has nothing to do with those in need but everything to do with the neediness in herself.
My advice: Run, don't walk, from this thinly-veiled basket-case who tries to paint herself as a composite between Florence Nightengale and Mahatma Gandhi; BUT (big caveat here) ... before you run, follow Eileen's (eta: and Fluffqueen's) advice and get your key back AND if I were you I'd make damn sure she didn't have a duplicate key made during her do-goodiness spree because, IMHO, she sounds passive/aggressive/mentally ill enough to one day show up and pull some kind of Glenn Close/Alex Forrest stunt. In other words, hold your pet rabbits (if you have any) close and your boiling pots even closer.
As more of this comes out, i.e. calling your mom, bringing your boss in for show and tell, it becomes all the more bizarre. The woman I envisioned yesterday as Gladys Kravitz sounds fully capable of going Carrie at the Prom at the first sign of rejection.
I guess the one thing about cancer is this...
It makes it easy to see who's in your corner and who's ready to sh*t in your corner.
I got a taste of this yesterday when I stupidly revealed that I have BC on a message board where I used to be a regular for years. I more or less disappeared in late July and I went back on Thanksgiving eve to take a look at what had been going on there. I have one very good online friend I met on this board seven years ago and I found out she was being accused of having something to do with my absence - which couldn't be further from the truth - so I posted a message wishing everyone a happy thanksgiving and dispelled the rumor that this good friend of mine was a factor in my absence. She's the only person from the board who has known about my cancer "journey" from two days before the biopsy.
So, I post this happy thanksgiving/clear the air thing and a guy who I've considered an online friend for the same number of years posts a one-word response: "whatever."
Okay. There's that "cancer is the great weeder-out-of-'friends'" moment.
I think that's been kind of a theme here on this thread the last day or two and maybe it's due, in part, to the fact that holidays bring people/family together and more of these feelings are forced to the surface.
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I guess I've missed a few posts. I need to go back and read Special K's and I just now read your post about the emergency walker, etc. PBrain.
So...she's a dyed-in-the-wool attention whore.
You've been getting attention because you have cancer so she had to find a way to shift the spotlight back on herself.
Fluffqueen is right re: toxic. This so-called friend of yours takes toxic to a whole new level and not to be an alarmist or anything but do you think she's the type who would call PETA or whatever that agency is that people call to file complaints about pet-owners?
I ask because when you cut her loose she very well may decide to escalate things.
Wow. I just can't believe that on top of having a horrific first chemo session you've had this to deal with as well...
She has caused you so much stress that it's damn near criminal, imo.
I don't know about you all but one thing that I've found since being diagnosed is that just talking in a chit chat way on the phone can be a big energy drain. If I had to talk on the phone to family/friends/work associates in order to clear up a situation like this I think my blood pressure would skyrocket.
She needs to go. She's intruded on your personal life, your family life and your professional life.
Bless your heart, PBrain. You've been through the wringer and back these past two weeks!
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Hi All,
I'm new to this thread having recently discovered it. I mostly hang out on the Sept. 2012 chemo thread, and sometimes on the TCH thread. Although I have only read through several pages, this group seems like a close knit, intelligent, knowledgable group of women. What I especially love is that is seems to be a mixture of chemo veterans and newbies supporting and encouraging each other in our collective battle against cancer.
I LOVE the rants posted by Jennt, Rozem and bcbarbie. I think they sum up what lots of us (myself included) are feeling right now. I'm 2/3 done with my TCH regimen and so far, it has been managable--thanks to guidance I have received from posters on this blog--but I'm ready to be done with this!!!!!
Lago, your advice, early on, to keep moving/exercizing throughout treatment has been my saving grace! You were absolutely right about feeling so much better on the days I get up and move. You were also right about treatment 4 being a watershed treatment....I seem to be having more issues with this cycle than earlier cycles, but I'm determined to get through this and keep up with my regular life, as best I can.
My latest strange side effect has been a very itchy rash which appeared on my stomach about a week after my 4th TCH. I get my neulasta shot in my stomach, and this appeared about 5 days thereafter. I'm not sure if this is related. Any thoughts on what this could be? I haven't changed laundry detergent or worn any new clothing.
Thanks, and I look forward to getting to know people on this thread!
PS Pbrain, I second everybody's opinions about your so called friend. I actually have an aunt who thrives on that type of drama. She pretends to be Miss helpful, and then stabs you in the back to everybody that will listen. Needless to say, we all call her Aunt Bitch and avoid her like the plague!
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Welcome cgesq!
I'm chuckling about Aunt Bitch...
I'm really glad you just posted what you did about exercise. I've been feeling so bitchy the last 36 hours and just generally annoyed that I've hit a plateau in being able to do things post-BMX (I still have two drains dangling).
My husband was just in here a while ago and said "you know, you haven't been walking much, as in exercising, the last few days" and I grumbled back some response but he's right and you're right and lago's right. I'm not in chemo yet (a few weeks) but I need to be walking, even if it's just laps around the perimeter of the pool.
So, your mention of it lit a much-needed fire. Thanks for that, and again, welcome!
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Pbrain,
She called your mother? And showed your boss? This sounds like a Woody Allen movie. There's a very funny story in here a few years from now!
I think we should beat her up. Only kidding.........0 -
Pbrain-- you do NOT need a friend like that, I had one that said I will be there for you Ang I will take you to your Appointments hugged me and told me not to worry she would be there till I was done Well she took me to one of my surgeries and Never did anything else the whole year not one doc app or chemo treatment called and asked her to drive me and all of a sudden I got this or that to do she had no job and her kids where in school. And then she started to be what I call is a drama Queen I could not handle the drama around her Anymore and I was told she was just two faced to me one last time and I set her loose she never once called me to ask if i'm doing OK I had to call her I finally just stopped and said to my self this is NO FRIEND.
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