TRIPLE POSITIVE GROUP
Comments
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Linda, when they told me to disrobe and get on the table I was like "um, I thought I was going to run today?" LOL!
I think I would have preferred trying to run versus having that wand grinding into ribs I never knew I had! Even though my (old) padding had flattened, it was padding just the same!
I don't remember flooding around the time of the Kentucky Derby but maybe I am kind of remembering flooding during that time in Tennessee? I used to live across the river from Louisville (Southern Indiana) and the Kentucky Derby was the like Christmas for people who lived in that area. I didn't grow up there so it never really got to me like it did some of my friends.
LOL @ Moonflwr - I often feel like I am Scarletting this breast cancer experience. When I start cavorting about in a tutu made from an old drape I'll know it's time for that home lobotomy my husband's always promising me!
soltantio - okay, google is my friend and when it comes to finding ways to use google to make me feel better (Scarlett-style) I'm an expert (hey, I used it for 7 weeks to get from the bi-rads 4 mammo to the biopsy). So, check this out...I just found it.
I also had the same pains in my right side below my ribcage. It felt
very achy and kinda bloated. My doc ordered an ultrasound of my
gallbladder and liver and they came back normal. I guess the chemos
and meds can irritate everything http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/APLsurvivors/message/263Also, I can't believe after all these years online I've found another Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock "student!" I even have a blog (which I never use) that I named based on one of the lines of the poem! In fact, the first blog entry is about the course and the professor who taught it, who happened to be the president of the university I attended.
I had to read the last few lines again just now...
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
'Til human voices wake us, and we drown
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Hi guys. Today was my first FEC plus Herceptin. Finished chemo at 5:30, nausea hit at exactly 8:30. Took a zofran. Still a little nauseous. May take a compazine in a bit. that is all I have. Hopefully it will work. Other than that, feeling a little out of it. My eyes feel "cashed" as we used to say in college. Lol.
Good news: echo today showed my ejection fraction has not changed since before chemo. Back then, it was 68. Today it was 70. Unlikely an improvement, but just within the subjective +/- of the cardiologist.
Lago, I am in springfield, Illinois. I check out the Illinois ladies site from time to time.
Pbrain, just can't get over your cleaning frenemy. Hold your head high, girlfriend. People like that - their true colors shine through and other people catch on real quick.
Solt, hoping the rib pain is a quickly passing thing. I too feel like a hypochondriac every time I feel anything. Right now, rash on chest - oh no!! Skin mets!! Lol.
Lee, glad you won't be leaving us!!
Sweet dreams everyone.0 -
cgesq -
Your hospital sounds great!
I think I'll take you up on your mp3 offer.
I used to have a link to a great om session site. When my husband was in intensive care during his bout with dermatomyositis (rare autoimmune disease) I used to play this particular session over and over again (he was in the cardiac area and the stress of being there in the first place was really overwhelming for him - not to mention what his disease was possibly doing to all his muscles, including his heart). About a month before I was diagnosed I downloaded some Tibetan bells music. I should be listening to those mp3s now as well - I had kind of forgotten about them...
The cancer center I'm now going to has an integrative healing area, actually, I think they devote an entire floor to it. I was looking through some of the paperwork today and saw that they offer sonic healing classes and they offer acupuncture as well as massage and the prices aren't that bad, i.e. I think it's $40 for acupuncture and on some days they offer $25 sessions from senior level acupuncture students.
I had several acupuncture sessions during the summer (not connected to this center - this was before I knew if it was cancer) and I would feel great after leaving. The only problem was this one point on my left leg. When the acupuncturist would hit that one point I would feel like I was going to hit the darn ceiling - and I (think) I have a high threshold for pain. She would insert needles all over the place - top of the head, feet, etc. but that one spot was like being touched by a live electrical wire. I ended up figuring out which spot it is and it's apparently a very powerful triple junction and believe it or not - that point - in combination with another point - can be used to supposedly induce an abortion!
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Dear soltantio/Anti-Scarlett - yes, I suppose it is pretty scrapy (love that word for it!). I'm going to try to find other stuff that isn't as scrapy. Hey, I'm still clearing my computer of screen shots of all the benign breast diseases I was just CERTAIN I had... and even when the radiologist said "yes, it is a tumor" I said "do you mean it's a malignant tumor?" I suppose the way she looked at her shoes before looking at me should have answered that question but hope springs (sprang?) eternal...
I chuckle at the memory now but it's a dark chuckle.
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nickythebean - I hope you can keep the nausea at bay and good news about the echocardiogram.
Also, I learned not one but two new words tonight -
Scrapy and Cashed
Hmm, that sounds like it could be a new TV series.
Sweet dreams to you, too, nicky (and everyone else).
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I will be happy to send the mp3s to all who want them, but it will probably not be till this weekend. Unfortunately, my Mom passed away last year, and we are in the process of renting out her house to a couple who lost their house in Hurricane Sandy. This came about rather suddenly so nothing had been done in the house to make it "tenant ready." They are moving in on Friday, so we have to clean out my Mom's house by then, which means emptying cabinets and dressers making lots of decisions. Not fun, but necessary. Thankfully, I don't have my next big TCH treatment till next week!
PS Let me know which cds you want. There is one on breast surgery, dealing with chemo and positive thinking.
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No hurry cqesq (what does that stand for?) Just whenever you get the chance - I pm'd you to.
I know I overstress about things being cancer - I've been having a lot of pain lately (probably due to the change in pain meds) but I pretty much decided I had bone mets in my whole body, every bone -
- well today they were a lot better, so I must be cured, right? 
Lee - I read The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock this evening - I loved it! I'm going to need to read that one several times to try to understand it. I belong to a literary group and would love for the group to read it, a discussion on that would be quite interesting. I'd love to hear your "take" on it someday, when you're laying around after your chemo and are bored, but don't really want to do anything.
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LeeA: wow. I really like that poem for some reason, although I have NO idea what it means. Lol. Can you sum it up in one sentence? My chemo brain could barely read it, let alone figure it out!!
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Well, ladies - it's been years (i.e. either 1979 or 1980, gasp) since I took that course so maybe soltantio can chime in but what I recall most about it is this:
It's about an aging man who is starting to realize that his life is passing by and he's coming face to face with his own mortality.
That's the short from my own aging memory version - now, I have to see how close I was!
Here's one of the first Google hits that comes up:
The speaker, J. Alfred Prufrock, is an aging man who is very self-conscious about his appearance. He is afraid that women won't find him attractive because he is thin and balding. He is speaking to his physical body ("you"), and from his mind ("I"). He first speaks of himself as looking in a mirror, contemplating visiting a "room" where "women come and go" on a late afternoon. Here, Prufrock falls into multiple daydreams in which he avoids the "overwhelming question" of whether or not to confront these women. He becomes more aware of his timidity as he concludes that confrontation of the "overwhelming question" would not have changed the outcome of nothingness. He recedes into a final reverie in which he follows mermaids out to sea and drowns, passively accepting his death of action.
More at this link but NOTE - it opens up some annoying pop-up ads.
http://japrufrock.tripod.com/JAPrufrock.html
Another couple of favorite lines (below, from Yeats "The Second Coming")- it seems to go hand in hand with the feelings of cancer - the desperation, although that's not what it's about (the center cannot hold).That's what I like about poetry. There might be an overall meaning but sometimes the words are so perfectly crafted that you can apply a line or two to something else completely, which is what I often find myself doing with the melancholy images from J. Alfred Prufrock.
This is from Yeats, The Second Coming:
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;Oops, major thread drift but maybe it fits in weird way. Many poets write from their own place of angst, either physical or mental - or sometimes both.
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soltantion - I like your nutshell
. I think that's why it's such an appealing literary work. It's told from J. Alfred P's perspective but even at age 20 or 21 I recall being able to identify with the the wistful/melancholy tone of the poem and believe me, at that age I had no idea how middle-aged (or older) men felt.
Re: "Do I dare to eat a peach?" reminds me of theAllman Bros. Band album that came out back when I was still in high school - Eat a Peach (I don't know if there was a connection) but it sure was an attractive album cover.
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RE: plastic dog poo -
I'm suddenly envisioning them superglued around the edges of all cubicles - the tops of them, down the sides, around the entrances to the cubicles.
A brown reminder of what's petty versus what's pertinent.
As an aside, there's a town in Alaska where they used to have a Moose dropping festival. The name of the town is Talkeetna - it's the same town Northern Exposure (the television show) was based upon.
Here's a short blurb from Wikipedia:
The event was named after a lottery where participants bet on numbered, varnished pieces of moose feces, or "moose droppings" dropped from a helicopter onto a target.
Sadly, 2009 marked the end of these strange ritual/festival:
A weekend of mayhem at the annual Talkeetna Moose Dropping Festival has left one young man presumed dead, others injured and dozens of locals wondering what happened to their one-time family-friendly fundraiser.
Read more here: http://www.adn.com/2009/07/13/863142/talkeetna-moose-dropping-festival.html#storylink=cpyETA: Let that be a lesson to your poo-obsessed co-worker, PBrain! What kind of lesson, I'm not sure.
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Funny how you ladies turned into poetry today. For some reason, Robert Frost's Stopping by The Woods on A Snowy Evening suddenly popped into my head since yesterday. After years and years forgetting about it, suddenly it was here:
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.
Ang, love what you said!
Camille,i know you would hang in there. I know you're one smart and tough chick. But i want you to know that i pray extra for you, esp when i read your intention on the novena thread. Hang in there!0 -
Lee I hate to say this but I've been there. The "is this really happening" many many times. The reality of that set in after I woke up from BMX and thought OMG this is really happening. What the hell did I just do!? "Am I going to die" also crossed my mind a lot.
It really does get better. I felt so much better after my BMX and the cancer was out of me. I didn't meet my onc till 2 weeks after surgery so I didn't have the full plan. It actually got better for me because I got a pass on Rads… I was in a grey area.
I was diagnosed July 2010… I'm coming up on 3 years and still here. Actually the only reason why I'm still on these boards is to help folks like you get through and let you know people on the other side, like me, do exist. BTW I love "to throw out yarn balls"
I look back and realize that I did all of my scans and initial consults to the PS by myself. Looking back I should have brought my DH to the PS consults.
BTW Lee I've been called "googleberg" since 2001.
cqesq What cd? It's getting really hard to keep up on this thread.
OK here's a song for everyone: linky
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solt i had the same pain you are describing...for at least a month towards the end of chemo. I was so freaked i went to the ER to get it checked out. They did do the scans -all clear. My onc (who met me in the ER, bless his heart) said that with all the GI issues of chemo, your liver working harder to clear toxins out of your body etc it is not unusual. It sounds like this is pretty common from all the comments posted here.
skimmed through all the posts - ((((hugs)))) to all experiencing any pain, discomfort or feeling blue
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oh and by the way have I mentioned AGAIN that i think these expanders are torture devices?! they can put a man on the moon but they can't figure out a way of making these things less hideous???? rant for the day
tonlee love the new pic!
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Bella,
You might want to use aquaphor instead of vaseline. I don't know about the petroleum, but I generally don't pay attention to the "this causes cancer" warnings anymore without unequivocal evidence. So yes I still get all my drinnking water from plastic bottles, still use vaseline on my lips, and regular deoderant. lol
In fact, I haven't really changed anything. Mostly because I don't believe for a minute any of those things CAUSED my cancer. According to modern statistics, my odds of getting it were less than 1% at my age. And yet, here I am. That just tells me they are shooting in the dark when it comes to this whole cancer thing and causes. (Of course if they truly knew what caused it then there'd soon be a CURE!) lol
All that to say, hope your lotion works out for you. And I used aquaphor as well...whatever was handy.
Here's hoping the rest of your txs are EASY and minimal SEs!!
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Tonlee I'm with you. I was less than 2% with my risk factors at my age (dense breast tissue, never having kids). I still feel stress is one of the major factors that they have yet to research. Every time I post that women all start chiming in on the stressful job or life situation they had endured for several years prior to diagnosis.
Maybe we just all need to smoke pot or meditate
Might be cheaper than Tamox or ESD0 -
Wow I sure missed alot! This thread is so busy if I go one day I can't catch up. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mine was good although a hard one being the first without my mom. Her birthday was the day after also. I had a little meltdown on Wednesday night while cooking and made it through the rest with minimal tears. I am so thankful for all of you for helping me through this past year. There is nothing like the silent support of women who know just how you feel.
Eileen - thanks for the shout out, I knew you could do it! When you finish Herceptin your hair should take off even more and hopefully this awful year will soon be a blip on the horizon.
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kelloggs - I remember those first holidays and birthdays without my dad, and my mom, it is so hard. You did well to get through it. You are right - we all get it and stand with each other when we are needed. It is a great symbiosis and support system - when one of us stumbles the rest of us are here to pick that one up knowing that whoever we just picked up will be there to pick us up later when we might need it!
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Lago, I too feel that stress is related to breast cancer. My husband passed away from pancreatic cancer after a 4 1/2 year battle. I belong to an online pancreatic cancer support group. There are 3 women on this board who were diagnosed with BC within 2 yrs after they lost their husband to PC. We were all the primary caregiver for our husband's so I do believe that stress was a factor in our BC.
Kelloggs, thanks again for all your support and encouragement. You truly made me believe that I could do it..
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lago, thanks for that. I really needed it this morning. And I know I'm not alone when I say how grateful I am that you and TonLee, omaz, SpecialK, Moonflwr, Camillegal, LindaKR and so many others* have stuck around for those of us who continue to flood the "in" gates of this infuriating disease.
I'm worried about mets. I read a thread last night titled "how many people were really stage IV at diagnosis."
About a year ago my other hip started popping in response to my "bad" hip and of course, now I have visions of those little mets occupying my every crook and cranny. The thing is, curcumin has helped the hip/lower lumbar pain and it's also supposed to help kill cancer cells so there's that...
It would be so wonderful if we could figure out a common thread. Something that we all did or something that happened to all of us that triggered this damn thing but I know we never will.
Either way, thanks for talking me off the so-called ledge. I've seen you do it so many times in the recent past as well as along the way in the archives. Between you and Yarn Ball Man™ (and Vicodin) today will surely be better.
*if I've forgotten your names, my apologies - it's 6:45 and I just took a Vicodin 45 minutes ago
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Kelloggs, this: "There is nothing like the silent support of women who know just how you feel" is so true! Every time I'm feeling particularly blue or wondering if chemo will be worth it, etc. I think of all the women who have gone before us in this...
Also, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom.
EileenOhio, that's really something about the other women on your board...
When my husband was so ill with dermatomyositis one of his former co-workers, whose husband had died (cancer) several years before, told me that the caregiver often ends up sick at some point in the future. On one level I thought "that won't happen to me" but admittedly, the thought did lurk at the back of my mind. In my case, I spent three weeks with my father as he was dying from cholangiocarcinoma (July 20 - August 6) and then got home and within weeks of returning home my husband took ill and then was eventually hospitalized from October 31 - December 6. I never felt like I fully processed my father's death because before I knew it, I was swept into another serious illness. I've often wondered if it was during that time that the wheels of my own illness started turning...
It seems strange to call it an illness when I've never felt ill. I'm guessing everyone else has grappled with that one as well.
Something else that intrigues me is the idea that there cancer cells circulating in our bodies at different times in our lives but we're able to fight them off (sometimes). I don't have a link for that but I do have a screenshot of a mention of it that I saw within the past few months.
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BTW Lee I almost never think about getting mets anymore.I'm back to worring about stupid life stuff again
I do think more about "can't wait to get out of ESD lock up!" It's 23° F out. When it gets under 40 I'm stiffer… also I just started my upper body workouts again yesterday after a 2+ week hiatus. Port surgeon's orders after deportation. Arms are stiff too now. It's the stiffness that annoys me most in the winter and cool damp months.
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OMG I can not keep up here but first I want to say thanks for thinking of me--my heart is so warmed for that.But I have to see the cardiologist Thurs so it better not stay warm. LOL
Wow everyone has so much going on.
Sol toward the ends of my, my sisters, and cousins chemo--we had our GB taken out. we really do things as a family. It just seemed to go together for us. So it could be what Pbrain said--and u r not a hypo----- can't spell it--u'r mind wander all the time cuz of this goofy disease.And I did get a hernia???? Now I told the Dr. from what lifting the remote contol--I still have that. It makes me sound very active. LOL
Pbrain u'r doing good right now I'm so glad.
OMG I forgot all I was going to say---Geeze this brain has gotten useless.
OK my scan was what everyone has had but I made it different. When the tch called my name I got up and instant Diarreha, so I told him as he was talking to me I was shitting in my pants right now---He ot me to a bathroom, I clean myself and chaned my clothes--I always travel like I'm going on vacation, with clothes and depends. LOL OK then I went to the nurses to get my port accessed and the junk they put in u--got up and it came right back. Go to the bathroom clean up and change clothes. LOL So this time I was glad to wait the 2 hrs. I spent most of it in the bathroom. And when I finally got out I sat on a bench next to the bathroom--and I had 2 different security guards ask me if I needed help, if I wa going to the ER or something--I started to laugh and just said no, I'm waiting for a test. And bong the 2 hrs. were up--So when I went back the tech said we could postpone this and I said just put extra padding and not matter what u see don't stop it. But I was OK.
I got home and I was exhausted from the D, my phone rang and it was my Dr. with the results. It's no threat and she'll keep an eye on it and do something else in Jan. So all I say Is it OK and she said it's good --but she heard about my D--big hospital alot of gossip--so I really have to o to a whatever and have tests all over again--so I have to get on that no really this time.LOL It could be a threat to my life. Drs. get so dramatic--but I know I have to do this. So that what is going on and Pbrain I have plenty of the real stuff if u want it LOL
I hope all u girls have a wonderful day The temps are in the 20's and rhe sun is out. And my clothes are in the dryer. Yay I'm doing s omething.
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camillegal you are so full of shit
Glad everything seems to be OK.0 -
Lago I agree with u. LOL The bad part is I'm not even embarrased anymore. geeze
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Camille, you really are a testament to the human spirit.
No wonder your doctor calls to tell you she/he misses you.
Just do it. We should all take heed.0 -
Always one of my favorite poems...it's now right at the top .
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.Emily Dickinson0 -
Flu shots? Do your mds recommend flu shots? I just put a call in to ask mine. Last year my then MO did not recommend them.
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ashla - thanks for reminding me to ask about flu shot. I have to call to schedule my (delayed) chemo today, and I will ask.
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