TRIPLE POSITIVE GROUP
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oooh! season two!!!!love it! great characters and acting,too..
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I was overwhelmed & Scared also @ First but honestly these Ladies got me thru it!!! Everything they said I was asking my doctor about!!! There are New drugs also that came out for Her2 ...I only am taking Herceptin every 3 weeks now! Wont be down until like Nov.0 -
OK I screwed up my day I get my peeectomy but it's all straightened out now. Whew. So when that tiny little camera goes up my uretha I will start singing R E S P E C T like I'm sure everyone else has done.
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Susan, your post brings up something I'm struggling with. My brother and his wife (who I'm very close with) are upset with me because they don't think I'm taking care of myself. I have no clue why they are saying this--maybe because I don't want to let my fear of a future BC event rule my life. But I'm meeting all my medical obligations, doing breast self-exams, none of my docs are worrying about me.
My brother's wife has gone totally organic, which is pretty much which I've done, but she's making these heinous smoothies with baked sweet potatoes and kale that she and my brother drink each morning. They eat sprouted bread that they keep in the freezer. This is bizarre because they were both beer swilling Jersey shore types a few years ago. Tee hee.
I feel judged. I don't think I caused this. I have dense breasts. I've seen my mammo films. They are seriously dense. I don't have a family history, but I do think I've been doing things ok for a long time. I'm going to Weight Watchers, not super successful, but moving slowly. I take my Arimidex.
I guess my struggle is why do people think you've caused this and if you aren't drinking smoothies made with sprouted bread and organic cow poop you aren't taking care of yourself?
Arghhh!
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sorry pbrain. you dont deserve that. and you are doing what the dr ordered, and, people who were gluten free, and juicing have also gotten cancer... its the cowcrapshoot. tell them that stress is actually very bad for possibly inducing cancer,tho- and that they are causing you stress and...to back the f off. love you, and it ain't your fault.
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Pbrain don't get me started. I am sick of people making me feel like I'm doing something wrong because I don't shop at Whole Paycheck! I can't afford that anyway. I do the best I can to eat healthy but then I walk down the street and all the people who can't smoke in the bars are out on the side walk smoking… I can't hold my breathe for 3 blocks!
The other day a gal posted on Susan Love's site that she is sick of feeling guilty about being overweight and that is what caused her BC. Well at diagnosis I was never larger than a size 6 (5'6") so there goes that theory. There are many thin, some of them athletes who ate organic that got breast cancer.
Just remember this:
- They still don't really know what causes breast cancer
- All the recommendations are to reduce risk. They are not a guarantee. You could do all the right things (and many here on this site have) still have not breast cancer gene and still get it.
- Finally you have survived treatment and you're still here. It's not about just surviving anymore… it's about living. Go ahead and have that occasional glass of wine is my motto. You are doing the best you can do and still live a life!
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i keep trying to juice, but they are mostly grotesque. and expensive. plus, juicing takes out the fiber, which we need! i think you are doing great, and femara pains and problems aside, i am trying to get back to pre-bc strength and energy and activity, but it is real hard. sounds like we are trying, and i have super dense breasts too and no fam history, xcept for my brothers rare form of bile duct cancer. we can't all be kris carr.
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And you know what? Do they want me to be freaking every single day that it comes back? I can't do that and I won't. I'm ready to feel better, be myself and have fun gardening, working, hanging with friends. I don't understand. I told my brother that I don't worry about it coming back and he told me well, he does. WTF? My Mom just says "oh, that shows how much he loves you". Arghhh!
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arghhhhhhhhh,too!!!
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and, i am only a little thicker than my picture, right there
<<<
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PBrain, I think your sister is as obnoxious as those 'friends' who took over and cleaned up your house. Talk about lack of boundaries....its none of her business. For what its worth, I didn't discuss any of my cancer issues with my brothers and sister. and they pretty much stayed out of it.
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I've been reading articles on what can be done to prevent recurrence. I plan on exercising more and changing my diet to include more fruits and vegetables. I don't think anyone should be made to feel bad if their diet isn't perfect. There are plenty of people out there that smoke, drink excessively, eat high fat/junk diets, and are way over weight but they don't get BC. My NO told me everything needs to be done in moderation.
I was feeling really anxious today. You know those days where you wonder if you're going to make it!?! I went to dinner with the family. The restaurant was really busy/loud. I just wanted to run out. Is this normal? I had my first AC treatment Tuesday. Could it be from the steroids or the Neulasta or my just feeling like I'm going crazy?
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i am 5'4 112 lbs, eat pretty healthy. i cooked everyday. the only thing that i can think of bad for me soda (coke or pepsi). I drink like a can or half can a day. my friends eat frozon foods from grocery stores all the time, they are okay. Not that i wish BC on them or anything like that. no family history, i really dont know what cause me BC. Pbrain, i feel really bad for you,cant believe your bro said that to you. He should be happy that you able to move fwd and not thinking about BC as much anymore.
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momma- my guess is the steroids! They really wreck you. Hang in there.
Pbrain. I think kathec is right. Tell them you are doing what you can and that added stress is a killer! Ask them nicely to LEAVE YOU THE F*CK ALONE!!!! AND remember recovered smokers and drinkers are the always the ones trying to get you to stop. And while juicing can be good for some people, not everyone can tolerate it. I for one still have issues with raw foids. Salads don't work well for me but I eat them when I crave one. I pay the price. Think of a salad as a colonoscopy prep.... LOL. No way would juicing help. I like a few fruit smoothies when I can spare a few carbs. But not a lot. Tell them you are glad it works for them. P'S is that the brother that's by me? Want me to go slug him?
Let me know.....
Much love to all
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heh heh, moon! take care of that prob for pbrain!
soriya, i cant tell you how many times i just was a hermit during treatments. even when someone would call or come over, it was a relief to me when it was over. we process this all subconsciously, too i think,when we are going through it. its great that people want you near and all, i think it assures them you are ok, but, this is more about you and conserving your strength and energy for healing. i vote you are not nuts.
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It's funny but I honestly don't think that whatever u go thru during chemo is not normal--we all feel differently mentally what bothers one another wouldn't think about but that never means u'r wrong, u'r going thru a physically and mentally torture chamber and it will be the way it is for you--so to me most craziness is so normal. After all u didn't go for an eye check up and u need drops and that's it. I guess I was lucky in a strange horrible way I grew up with this disease in the family and a bunch of us had it at the same time so we all had our craziness around the same time in different ways, One time my BIL called me (I got mine just a couple of months before my sister) and I'm very close to him and he said u'r sister is nuts, she's always been nuts but this was bad, I used every four letter word yelling at him and all he said was u'r all a$$holes. He wanted to change her drain stuff every hr, and she kept on telling him to leave her alone LOL The poor guy was a nervous wreck and all we did was swear at him. Their DD had it at the same time and he's go there to help her and she'd tell him to leave.
PBrain I do feel so bad for u cuz u are a very sensitive person and u can't help but taking this all in and feeling bad and like was said all u can say is I'm doing everything the Drs. have told m to do and I'm going on with my life so I can enjoy it. And u'r so sorry they live with Ziggy's cloud but u'd rather not. But say it with a nice lilt in your voice.
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pbrain - you made me laugh with "heinous smoothies"
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Pbrain don't we pay our doctors to worry about us?
Today's trend is juicing and Whole Foods and Kale. I'm not doing any of that. It's been almost 4 years since my diagnosis and I'm still NED. Remember when they said coffee was bad for you? Are these relatives breast cancer MOs? What are their qualifications?
Only think I've changed since I started chemo is no more soda. I was a 1-2 diet soda can a day, one for breakfast. Now I'm more like 3 a year.
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sprouted bread....I love it, toasted. And it makes great grilled cheese. Not so tasty plain though. I try not to eat white flour (except for the cupcake I had at the outdoor concert tonight ,lol). I kind of got hooked on the Ezekial 7sprouted grain bread. It is pretty pricey though. I don't like Trader joes version as well.
We have the coolest new grocery store near me, Fresh Thyme. Just opened in the last couple days. I have been twice as they have strawberries for 77 cents, same with green beans, and ground beef, 85% lean for 1.97 a pound. Across the street is once opening soon called Earth Fare. we have been whining about a Trader Joes or Whole Foods on the south side of Indy for years, and now we get two all at once!
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Pbrain - ask them to show you the studies that support what they are telling you to do is going to either prevent a recurrence or would have prevented you from getting it in the first place. Me I do the best I can - I was eating decent before BC and will continue on that diet - I eat very little gluten only because that reduces my carb intake which I must do for my diabetes. I have now started avoiding soy as I figure that may actually make some sense - although I have read positives about soy and BC too. But I am going to live my life and enjoy what I can about it, as soon as I get those darn CT results LOL. I do not intend to be defined by BC and you need to tell them that you will also not be defined by it. They can care and worry in silence all they want - you tell them - like others have said - that stress is a big factor and not only are they stressing you out but they are stressing themselves - so tell them they are welcome to "their" stress and worry about you - but keep to themselves. You can do this at the same time as you tell them that you do appreciate that they care but that it isn't what you need from them. We are all doing the best we can with what we have been served - we all look for our answers and there just aren't any sometimes - we have had BC - we have gone through treatment - we know more than most what the issues are. Remind them of that - they haven't been there.
Mommato - the steroid crash can affect you in many ways - I stay edgy while I am on them - some people crash from them and get depressed - all of what you experienced could be the steroids or just chemo in general. In case I haven't said it recently I HATE THE STEROIDS
Camilegal LOVE Respect LOL - I hope you sing it loud!!
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I try to focus these days on putting good stuff in and not keeping bad stuff out of my diet. Think this article I read this morning might have been written about P Brain's family.
PBrain ... The important thing is that they really love you and are concerned. This sanctimony seems to be coming from a good place! It is not always so.
Also everyone... Flax seed... There seems to be some compelling evidence of a huge benefit . Until they tell us it 's not so!
Re " clean diet"
"Mostly what it means is: "I'm much better than you." The opposite of clean is dirty. There's dirty politics, dirty money and dirty dealings. People who enjoy sex are portrayed as dirty. (Though Woody Allen's line that sex was only dirty "when it was done properly" is instructive here.) When junkies kick the habit they "get clean". Bad people "clean up their act". In short, if you don't eat clean you are lacking in virtue. You are not a good person. You are a bad person. You filthy, dirty dog."
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Ashla the road is paved with good intentions… They made their point now it's time to shut up. Granted what do I know. My relationship ended with my sister 1 week post BMX. I don't have to listen to her good intentions anymore.
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Lago
The story of your sister's behavior .. And the many similar stories we've shared here... Is a reminder of the most valuable, positive... Oddly enough positive... Lesson from this miserable experience.
I must remind myself regularly but it is this. The short version.
Life is fleeting. Discard the trivial and shallow. Fill every moment & relationship with meaning, intensity & value.
I cleaned house. Closed the door on poisonous relationships & people. Some were difficult but so far no regrets .
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If I were pbrain I would also remind them of exactly who it was who attended medical school, and who out of the group possibly has a better understanding of breast cancer?
I avoid flaxseeds because I don't think enough is known about if they are good or bad, I use chia seeds instead.
https://www.oncologynutrition.org/erfc/hot-topics/flaxseeds-and-breast-cancer/
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PBrain-I so relate. I tell people my ability to feel quilt is my Presybterian upbringing. We did not memorize Bible verses-but we can certainly bring on the guilt! My youngest (Sarah, 23, startng law school) went vegetarian a couple years ago. Juices, triple heinous smoothies. But--she does not preach nor force on anyone else. Wants to help small farmers with raising sustainable food for human consumption. Will eat meat if from such farms. I admire her young honest views. But I always ate Ok. Not great. Not horrid. Always used real butter in moderiation. Never the fake crap-Iowa upbringing. Always bought meat from butcher-tried to avoid hormones, etc. Farmer's market if available. I did eat soy the past few years as a way to get protein as I was never a big meat eater. But had slowed way down due to reading about it. The day I was diagnosed stopped all soy as did my daughters. My son avoided for years.
I have a glass or 2 of wine. A beer. Popcorn with real butter, Mexican food. Continue to skip breakfast-ann now it is finally Ok. If I get mets I get mets. There is NOTHING I can do about it because there was NOTHING I could do about BC.
When someone (still) asks me what I did to get BC I generally have a smart mouth response. I still would not wish this on my worst enemy. But I really am too old to have enemys. Takes too much brain power. Would not wish on #%$^ ex-husband. He would milk it and have way too much sympathy.
Your brother. Could you tell him what he wants to hear? Know it is a lie and a bit of a defense. But might smooth the relationship. Unless they live so close they will see the trash and know you are not juicing. It will hurt your relationship if you remind him this is about you not him. I really really feel your pain in this. I tell people daily I feel great. My dearest best friend calls me on it-but understands I am meeting the askers needs. They feel better if I say I am good. Convoluted webs we weave.
I tried the smoothies. I just cannot drink them. For those who can-good for you. Cannot get past the color, taste, texture, aftertaste...I had a root beer float yesterday with Blue Bell Vanilla Bean and Diet Root Beer. Does that count? And Pioneer Woman makes floats with vanilla and Guiness. No wonder she lives in the middle of no where and home schools 4 kids.
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susan - the reason the pioneer woman drinks Guiness and vanilla floats is because she lives in the middle of nowhere and homeschools four kids, lol!
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OMG speaking of guilt I remember a friend saying to me after I told them how big my tumor was "Weren't you going for your mammograms?" Stupid thing to say. I replied "yes but the radiologists were blind."
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Pbrain, I think you have the right attitude. It is an absolute waste of time to dwell on having a recurrence. Life is for living and each day for enjoying.
As far as foods keeping us safe, according to my MO, there are no magic foods. All we can do is to eat as healthily as possible most of the time. No one knows what causes breast cancer and no one knows how to prevent it either.
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Ah, thanks guys. I feel like I have two camps of people around me. The majority are those who think "you survived this and now you're done. get over it!" and then my brother and his wife who think "you gave yourself this and you aren't taking care of yourself". I want to get to where I don't care what people think, but I'm just not sure how to do that. But you all make me feel better because I think the healthiest way to approach it is what I'm doing. Mourning my old self and the loss, worrying if I'm never going to be the same, but also approaching each day as a new thing...a gift sort of...and not obsessing over whether it comes back. If it does, heck, I've got a team, they'll help me.
Special, you CRACK me UP!
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GUILT Let's see---Being brought up Catholic at the time of everything was wrong, even taking a bath and looking at u'r self, u had to have 4 washcloths in the 3 for cover and one to wash---well many years later I did think guilt was the most wasted emotion that anyone can have--guilt+ worry, stress, not sleeping right and who knows what else. So with great thought I decided not to have guilt, if I do something wrong to someone I apologize and go on, I try not to hurt anyone, but it can happen... so my thought of this word is really not there anymore and it's so much nicer.
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