So...whats for dinner?
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Bedo, I was thinking we were twins! That means we really are twins -- I've read they are psychically connected
Triplets! I want to go out right now and buy us matching outfits. But that would mean no one would be able to tell us apart..
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Carrie- Thanks for the tip! I alternated ice and heat last night before bed and used more icey hot while I slept and am walking up right today. I don't know if I dare stretch again!
Carol- Your dinner sounds soooo yummy! I wish I had stuff in the house to make the same thing.
We are supposed to be getting all of this snow- but it is more rain than snow. I swear slush is coming down. The boys (and I) are stir crazy. I made them swords with paint sticks, foil and card board. They are bombing around the house playing power rangers. A quiet day it is not!!
I don't know what I am going to do for dinner. Either left over chicken and make a chow mein with it or I have a ham I could bake. We will see how the day goes....
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Carberry, you caught me! The 'baby' is six. She's seven. She just turned seven.
Yikes! My baby is seven! I make those vegetarian chicken and dumplings and then I sit and watch her eat them, just as if she were a real baby. I hope she is not spoiled...
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Bedo, how was the doctor?
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Okay, I should have put all of this in one post. I'm not good at it yet.
Again, I'm teaching tonight, Denise will make dinner. The kids will have one thing -- maybe leftovers --- and I never want to eat what the kids eat (reference earlier post if necessary
). Still have organic greens -- I may force her to steam them, maybe some steamed kabocha squash, krishna dressing. I know I should have a grain, but I am a little off my feed.
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Bobo and Bedo, you definitely are twins!
Laurie, maybe the boys will use up their energy and take a nap? Then you could take a nap, too.
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Bobo- You sound so peaceful talking about your daughter and watching her eat! I wish it felt peaceful in my house! Mine are tornado's!
Carol- No luck with naps. I just made finger paints for the bathtub and they have been in there a half hour- I think it is the closest I am going to get to a break today!
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Rick is making tacos for supper. I may make mine more of a taco salad. It doesn't sound all that appealing but I have to eat something...I lost another 3 pounds and I'm down to 121. I would be delighted to be back to my pre-kids weight under normal circumstances but right now I need to try and retain my weight.
I had treatment today but got just half of my chemo. Gemzar is nasty and it makes your blood levels tank. My hemoglobin is 8.2 and I think my RBC is 1.7 - explaining my shortness of breath. I've been relegated to my chair and I have to go back next Wednesday for labs. And when I start my cycle again we are adding Abraxane to see if we can stem the ever-rising tide of tumor markers.
Laurie - the Facebook picture was so cute! Days like this are tough for the kids (and their moms)
Bedo - thanks for suggesting seltzer water - Poland Springs has lots of flavors. I forgot about them.
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Laurie -- we are not as peaceful as you think!! One seven and one eight-year-old. One positive is that my son is very chill. Another word for that might be lazy; however, the good thing about this is that he does not bang things with a baseball bat, etc. I acknowledge, though, that watching her eat is peaceful! I also watch her eat breakfast.
How I remember finger paints in the bathtub! I also used to make them playdough from scratch. Of course, they would still do these things now. But I'm too tired to clean up the bathroom at this point!
LuvRV, please take care of yourself. I hope you are cozy in your best pjs.
Carole, I swear, I could read your posts all day! They read like a good story. I love to hear what's going on in your day. Vegetarian, but I will eat your tacos without the meat in them -- they sound fabulous. I need to drink more; I look at you as a role model in that way
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Michelle- We need to come up with some fattening food ideas for you that are high in iron. What is high in iron? Spinach? Maybe a chicken Alfredo with spinach mixed in or a spinach salad on the side? I am so sorry this one is going to be rough for you. I can feel your frustration. My mother always counted calories and watched her weight- always trying to lose weight. To keep weight on whe started to eat ice cream sundaes at night with candy on them, she was lucky to not have to worry about her sugar in take. I would call her and we would chat and I could here her eating, and ask what she was eating- you could here her smile through the phone as she told me about her sundae
Bobo- Depending on the meal I have to repeat every 5 minutes to my boys- take a bite- eat. They are going to hate tonight's dinner! LOL!
SO DH voted for chicken chow mein so that is what is on the stove right now. The slush/rain finally turned to snow for the moment. In light of the very long day I have already poured a glass of wine- DH should be home soon to take over
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Michelle,
So hard to eat when nothing tastes good to you. Sorry that the Gemzar is pretty rough. Hoping the cancer finds it even rougher on IT and decides "It's outta there"...
Laurie,
Glad your back is feeling better! Very cute pic of the boys and their snowman! They look so proud and rightfully so! That is one super snowman! Mostly rain and slushy stuff here too with brief switchovers to snow.... Just kind of a big old yucky day....
Debbie,
My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow as your Dad has his surgery... Praying that everything goes well and that it brings him some relief... Sending you and your family a huge hug....0 -
The Boston Area thread is getting active to plan a get together
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Deb can I come although I'm not in Boston, I'm nearby
Bobo, the third triplet's name is Dodo. It was actually a dentist appt. It's amazing how expensive it is to keep your teeth up to par. I hate the dentist.
Michelle, give me an idea of what tastes good and I'll try to come up with some ideas.
Laurie, you better keep an eye on those boys. I could just eat them up with a spoon and have thier snowman with maple sugar for desert. I just realized how creepy that sounded. I was going with the dinner theme. Let me change that to they are so adorable!!!
Debbie, my thoughts are with you.
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Michelle, if you have a metal taste can you use plastic spoons? Peppermints? I wonder if sucking on ice cubes during therapy would help? (I'm thinking my own crazy penquin caps theory that has not been studied at all)
Is it like morning sickness where a little eating helps? Can taking a little decadron in addition to any you get during therapy help increase your appetite? Maybe your doctor would do this to help with appetite?
Worst comes to worst, ensure?
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Michelle, could you drink smoothies that have spinach, other veggies, and fruit in them (to make them taste non-vegetably) adding nuts for protein and fat and maybe some high fat yogurt mixed in ...sounds horrific to some, but very easy (and actually quite tasty), and if you drink it through a straw it may slide down easily...lots of caloric content and fat. Maybe this could be a good excuse to spring for a vitamix.
I would be a bit careful about seltzer water since that can be rough on the esophageal tract, and you don't need another concern requiring an additional med (prilosec).
And what about stevia? Is that a sweetener that you don't like? I do like the Trader's small bottle one, but it is pretty pricey.
Carole, your dinner sounds yum!
Last night I met a friend for dinner at Cheesecake Factory and had a delicious herb crusted salmon with double asparagus, hold the mashed. Sadly, I am noticing that every time I eat fish at a restaurant, I end up with really painful stomach distress later. I think I just need to cook it really well, which I always forget to ask for when ordering (especially) salmon, which most people like rare). Tonight had "jump ups" of a toss of pasta, shrimp and asparagus with pesto.
I went to the gyn (hold the OB!) today, and decided rather than return home afterwards to smell Seamus's paint there while it rained, I'd go a hunting for fabric for next year's Christmas stockings...had a groupon about to expire. I did end up getting some interesting fabrics....hope I still feel that way whenever I get to actually making the stockings. It was pretty nice to spend the whole afternoon cruising around the fabric store with no regard for the nasty wind and rain that is besieging us for these three days.
Early tomorrow DS2 shows up for me to drive him to his Lasik's procedure....then the pick-up a few hours later. Having him home for the day and overnight will be nice.
I understand it is a pretty easy recuperation.
Laurie, not only are your boys lucky to have a mom that makes them great tasting, healthy and varied meals, but also to have a mom who despite struggling with a painful back provides them with implements of fun on a rainy day! They will have fond memories...speaking of which, the phone call memory of your mom eating her bulk up sundaes was just so poignant and sweet.
We just got some sad news that DH's cousin's wife who has been battling this damn curse for at least ten years now, doing well until this past year, is possibly about to succumb. She is in a NYC hospital where she continues to need blood transfusions, has three very serious infections requiring her to be in isolation, and has lost so much weight, it is hard to imagine she will again be able to rally. But one never knows.....Please remember Kate and her DH in your thoughts and prayers.
Goodnight all....0 -
HI everyone! I really have missed you all. I want to thank you all for the hugs, prayers well wishes etc.. It means a lot to me, I love you all. Sorry it has taken me so long to come back to let you know how things were going.
First, Michelle I hope you are able to get your TM's back to normal and able to finish your next treatment with great results. Your pictures of Hawaii are beautiful and You look gorgous with your tan.
Lacey- Prayers for Kate and family!!
My dad is not having his surgery tomorrow now. We had the hotels booked for the 3 weeks he was going to be in the hosptial and had all the arrangments made, his surgeon wanted him to get another PET scan before he would do the surgey, his test came back and he got a call from the surgeon saying he had spots on his liver and lungs and could not do the surgery now. This was his only chance of going into remission esophagus cancer is very aggressive and fast growing, he has had to have his throat stretched every week so he can eat. At first I was devastated and cried but I told my dad that I was kind of relieved because I felt since he was grieving he was not in the right frame of mind and wouldn't fight and I had a feeling he would not be coming home from the hospital. He told me he felt the same way. So now he is waiting to hear from his onco to see what other choices he has, I'm hoping he will be able to do chemo again. I love my dad so much and want the best for him, passing at any time is bad but now is def not a good time so hoping for more time for him.
As for Chuck, he will have his tumor on his brain removed sometime in March most likely the end of March because his Cobra insurance is screwing around with him.
As for me, Im in so much pain and can not stop crying it hurts so much! I don't know how to go on without my beautiful sweet sister, she was my everything no one could make me laugh the way she did.We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt and cried. When my mom passed away Cindy was the one who I grieved with we would cry for hours on the phone, when my sister Mindy passed we did the same with her too, now I have no one to call and grieve with. I have to stay strong in front of my dad and my brother. And I don't even want to talk to anyone else anyway, I havn't even talked to my best friends on the phone yet,, just can't.
Cindys husband Abe (actually not married but together for 20 years) He had such a beautiful memorial for her in Hawaii, so many people came, a lot from the sheraton where she worked there were hundreds of people I was told. Tony who is Abes son and his wife Kristy and there little son Christopher flew to Oregon with Cindys ashes and a lot of her personal things for me. (which I will cherish forever) The plan was to take her ashes to Mount Shasta, that is where my mom and sister Mindy's ashes are, it's a spiritual thing which I will tell you at some other time, but they got so much snow and the gate to where we wanted to go was closed until probably june or July. So we will have to put it off but the family wasn't really ready to do that yet anyway. I thought it was so sweet that Tony and his wife flew here from Hawaii just for us, she was like a mom to him, When I thanked him he said he was doing it for himself too. I cried so hard when he left I felt like a part of her was going with him I guess. I know I have a long, long road ahead of me, the pain is getting worse for me I think the first couple of weeks I was in shock and denial now I know its real and really struggling with this. I have been taking lots of xanax to get through the days, except when I have to drive to see my dad or take Chuck to appointments but keeping the pain in is worse, by the time i get home or some place private I cry so hard. Poor Chuck has to see me this way I feel so bad for him, he has just been wonderful though.
Sorry to lay all this on you, I was bawling when I first started writing this but some how feel comforted to just write this all down and to you all who know and understand. I know all of you here have lost some one who you loved so much and know my pain. I will try to check in every once in awhile and probably try to read more often Thanks for letting me talk, I love and miss you all
Debbie
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Debbie, thank you for your poignant long post. I am touched that you could put that much energy into a heartfelt, tho so sad, update for us. You have had so much loss and on going health related stress in your family. Your strength comes through even while you deal with all of this pain. Please know that we are always here for you, and holding you close in our hearts, even when you don't have the energy to post.
Again, thanks (((((Debbie))))).0 -
Oh (((Debbie))), my heart goes out to you.
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(((Debbie))) So good to hear from you and so glad you were able to post your story - I am glad it helped you to release some of your emotions. I know blogging gives me an outlet and that's why I started my blog when I was first diagnosed. I hope each day gets a little easier and you'll be able to smile when you recall all the beautiful memories of your sister.
Hugs and love,
Michelle
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{{{{{{{DEBBIE XXX}}}}}}} You are such a sweet heart.
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Debbie Thanks for posting and letting us be part of your life. HUGS for you and your family. I hope the surgery for your husband is the answer and he will be done with his suffering. Stay strong, your family needs you.
Michelle I think Boost or ensure makes a diabetic version. I know a lot of my pts that didnt like the taste of these products would add ice and blend, and you could probably add some fruit to help mask the taste. For whatever reason, when I was having chemo, I craved the salty stuff, like chicken soups and dill pickles...not too many calories though if your trying to maintain weight. Maybe a good mac n cheese or your husband could try his hand at chicken alfredo...lots of good calories.
bobo When my daughter was small, I could just sit and watch her non-stop...every little milestone was never unnoticed, and then the same with my son. I had opposites...my daughter was the mischeivous hurricane in the room and my son very calm and quiet (unless his sister got him going)
Lacey enjoy your son while you got him...good chance to make him some yummy food for recouping. And prayers to your family.
Husband cajoled me into going to a meeting with him last night, horse feed, goat feed, chicken feed etc...ugghh, with the promise of cocktails and dinner. They served dinner but no! cocktails! Three hrs of feed talk and just a mundane dinner...he owes me!!
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Bedo, Dodo and Bobo? Sounds like we are triplets. I hope I am the naughty sister. But I fear I am the well-behaved sister.
Having a protein shake right now. Soy-based protein but with flax milk blah blah blah. Trying to cut down on soy -- even though my tumor was not est + -- just because I feel like it might not be good to have so much soy. But it's hard. Allergic to cow's milk. Hate the plant-based smoothie powder (the pea protein).
That's all I've eaten today. Working until 9:30. Dinner doesn't look like a real possibility. I'll make pasta with tomatoes and butter for the kids. I make the sauce with a whole onion in it -- it cooks down, then you remove the onion. No garlic. XXX
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Carrie - yup, Kraft Mac&Cheese is on the yummy list! Waldorf salad is also good and I will add some chicken to the leftovers from a couple days ago. Hubby put enough mayo in it so I can add to it and it will be moist enough.
I try really hard to have 3 small meals a day and then add in a couple of treats like ice cream sandwiches or ice cream right out of the carton...lol I like salty snacks usually but right now my mouth is too dry so I can't really enjoy that popcorn that would be my first choice! Hubby made pancakes a couple of day ago and that was pretty good - he cooked bacon, too, which I enjoyed.
And I've eaten lots of watermelon. It's out of season but still available and pretty tasty. It may be my favorite food at the moment.
Watching pound puppies with DGD while the hubby and DD fetch the chicken. LOL Oops, water spill!!!
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Debbie- My heart goes out to you. You have so much going on, so much stress with Chucks upcoming surgery, your fathers health and losing your sister. Thank you for checking in with us. We miss you and think of you all the time. I can relate to what you said about having no one to call. My mother passed away 8 years ago and I still feel that way. She was my best friend and we used to talk at least twice a day on the phone. I don't think I have ever talked to anyone the way we talked and laughed together and I probably never will. Time helps you to get used to it, not that it ever makes it ok. ((((((hugs))))))))
Carrie- I agree your DH owes you big time!! Three hours with talk of feed and grain and no alcohol?
Lacey enjoy your time with your son!
Michelle- Your DH is becoming a great cook! It's nice to hear how he is taking control in the kitchen and taking great care of you. I buy watermelon year round for the kids. We also got a pineapple this past week, it was sooooo sweet I couldn't even eat it. The boys of course loved it.
So after all of my creative day yesterday of swords, bath tub paints and scavenger hunts I had nothing left in my bag of tricks for today. I bit the bullet and took the boys to an indoor play center....during school vacation week.....oy! It was INSANE! But they ran and jumped and climbed for two hours and I sat and chatted with another random mom I didn't know who looked about as tired as me, lol! It was nice to get out of the house for a bit. Now for the best part, I have earned nap time!!!
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Debbie,
Oh I remember that pain so well. I didn't know that grief could be physically painful until my brother died when he was 29 years old. He has been gone now for over 10 years and I still think my aura includes shadows of sad. The pain is real, and though it lessens, there is a hole that will never be filled in the same way.
Take care of yourself. Post away. The process of writing can be cathartic, and we are all here to absorb pieces that are too much for you to bear.
*susan*
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Debbie: hugs and special thoughts to you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
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Laurie My kids always liked the clay that you can bake, and we would get out the small stuff from the junk drawer like nuts, bolts, pennies, wall hooks etc and make funny "junk art" You can also use play dough, but they wont keep. I think I still have some of the creatures on the kids bookshelves.
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Carrie- I think you mean the salt clay? I haven't done that yet. I have the recipe, maybe the next storm? Did you bake it with the pennies etc in it?
So tonights dinner has been chosen by the boys and will be the strangest mixtue of flavors. Shake and bake pork chops with applesauce, left over stuffed shells and corn. (gag) At least it is easy!
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Debbie, I feel for you. Can you find a support group in your town? This is so much to bear on your own. I wish that I could give you a hug. I think of you alot. I hope that your pain lessens in time.
Laurie, Here's a salt clay recipe. I can cook! We used to love doing this with the babysitter
http://www.busybeekidscrafts.com/Salt-Dough-Recipe.html
We also used to "grow" crystals, but I can't remember how.
Bobo, I forgot to tell you. We are mad at Dodo. We will have to make do as twins for now. Do you want to be the smart, funny pretty or popular twin? I used to qualify as the naughty twin, but now work keeps me out of trouble. PS I want to be 6 minutes older than you. I always wanted to be the older one. Dodo sucked up all the food so that when we were born I was smaller and in an incubator, so was Dodo but she got out faster, and I entered this world seeing her big fat .....er "self" in front of me. I think that this will work out much better. Plus you are vegan, I am vegetarian since 16, although started eating fish 2 years ago, I know, I will have to stop. Dodo is a carnivore *gasp* lol
I'm going to watch that talent show whatever it is, I've only seen it in a long time
For dinner Brussle Sprouts boiled and then salt and pepper and grilled cheese sandwich. And pomegranate seltzer water
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I want pomegranate seltzer water real bad. It must be because we are blood relatives
So much to take in! I don't want to be the smart twin, I am tired of being smart. Six minutes older is fine -- I want to be petite. I do eat the occasional egg. I'm worried that Dodo is prettier than I am.
Dinner tonight: none. Still working. Yikes. The kids had rice pasta with homemade tomato sauce, roasted sweet potato, steamed org broccoli. I may have a fresh carrot juice in a minute.
In other news, I still have breast cancer. It's really freaking me out right now. I am always scared of the MRI. I'm like a dog who does not like MRIs.
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