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OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 4,555
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    CJ, Love your wording!!!

  • scuttlers
    scuttlers Member Posts: 149
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    laughing out loud! Waking my poor husband from his well deserved nap. Hug

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
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    HaHaHa 😃 Hubby is always ordering something or other online...!!

  • Wicked
    Wicked Member Posts: 27
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    On Friday I had a breast MRI. The tech was asking me about diagnosis and treatment. I told her it was ILC and that the surgeon was recommending BMX due to my extensive LCIS along with the ILC. She said cheerfully, "Oh that's okay, you'll just have the old ones off and get perky new ones!" This from a medical professional! So disappointing.

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
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    Wicked ( I love your name 😃)... Ugh.. Yes that is very, very disappointing to hear someone who should know better, say that !!!



  • Oakmoss
    Oakmoss Member Posts: 13
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    I've had a serious chronic illness for most of my adult life, so the experience of people saying the wrong thing, or things that really are completely ignorant, or patronizing, or just idiotic, is not new to me. No one has given me dietary advice, all of my friends know I've been eating organic vegetables, piles of them, for years in an effort to take good care of myself. I put greens into a Vitamix and drink these concoctions often. I got cancer anyway. <sigh> But I am getting advice on my 'attitude'. As soon as someone says I need to do or feel this or that ('you need to stay curious about life!' one friend advised) my attitude, which has been basically pretty good, turns into a dark thundercloud.

    The worst thing said to me so far was, 'You're old and an invalid already, so why are you having lumpectomies? Just chop 'em off! You don't need them." I'm 61, it's true, I am limited by chronic illness, but I still feel attractive (this may be delusional, but I'm sticking with it).

  • zjrosenthal
    zjrosenthal Member Posts: 1,541
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    Oh dear oakmoss...the person who said that is the delusional one! Love, Jean

  • Oakmoss
    Oakmoss Member Posts: 13
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    Thank you, Jean. I guess I'll be getting plenty of practice in not taking the things people say personally -- maybe I'll even get good at it.

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
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    Oakmoss ..The stupid comments keep on coming ..My absolute favourite/hate is to "just keep positive ".😵...ugh

    Hi Jean ..How are you ?

  • Wicked
    Wicked Member Posts: 27
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    "The most important thing is a positive attitude." Um, no. The most important thing is good medical treatment! Oh, their faces when you say this to them...

  • zjrosenthal
    zjrosenthal Member Posts: 1,541
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    I believe people think they are being helpful with these comments but if you haven't been there you have no clue. I usually just smile and go on. Love, Jean

  • Luna52
    Luna52 Member Posts: 5
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    I had my worst experience iwith STUPID so far this weekend.

    Former neighbors came to visit with their new puppy. The woman went on and on about a breast cancer scare she had.. which apparently was DCIS, removed by a lumpectomy. She thinks it was caused by eating too many sunflower seeds and questioned me about my salad bar choices. The worst part was her describing in detail her emotions when the doc called with the initial biopsy results.. how scared she was to even answer the phone, how she made her husband answer and how relieved she was when it wasn't invasive cancer.

    I wish I had a good comeback for this type of stuff... does anyone else??


  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    wow, sunflower seeds, that is richwhat was the dumb thing we used to joke about,

  • zjrosenthal
    zjrosenthal Member Posts: 1,541
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    Yikes! I feed the wild birds a mix with sunflower seeds in it. Hope we don't have an epidemic of birdy breast cancer up here! Teehee! Love, Jean

  • Luna52
    Luna52 Member Posts: 5
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    Jean.. OMG.. now I have to worry about the darn birds at my feeder too!


    LOL

  • Lucy55
    Lucy55 Member Posts: 2,703
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    HaHaHa ☺

  • zjrosenthal
    zjrosenthal Member Posts: 1,541
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    Oh its so good to smile! Love this thread ladies. Keep em coming. Love, Jean

  • shepkitty
    shepkitty Member Posts: 878
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    We have viscous Mockingbirds in our backyard. I wonder how long the sunflower seeds take to work their magic? Ooooooh....this would be a great way to stop those nasty things from pooping all over the neighborhood playground! My cat has a very positive attitude, so I am not worried about her catching the cancer if she eats any of the birds.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY

  • gmafoley
    gmafoley Member Posts: 5,978
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    Yeah - I remember when I had my first daughter - a lady came up to me and said that my breast milk would make my daughter get cancer.. Sunflower seeds - oh my - I would hate for all my birdies to get it.... I take everything people say with a grain of salt anymore. LOL

  • zjrosenthal
    zjrosenthal Member Posts: 1,541
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    Kitty breast cancer...yikes! Lol Loopy

  • Wicked
    Wicked Member Posts: 27
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    One of my co-workers informed me "remember, it's just tissue" and "the psychological issues of breast cancer are no big deal." I told her, it's kind of a big deal, yeah. She kept saying, "oh, okay" like I was being ridiculous. I held my ground.

  • Oakmoss
    Oakmoss Member Posts: 13
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    It's with a sense of wonderment that I can report a full 72 hours have passed without anyone saying A Single Stupid Thing. People have been kind, helpful, and are asking if they can visit when I'm in the hospital (yes, please). It's like a whole new world, a shining, peaceful utopia without stupid.

    Wicked, I just don't know how one responds to people that dumb and insensitive. Incredible.

  • zjrosenthal
    zjrosenthal Member Posts: 1,541
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    Ladies, how do you respond to the well meaning but ignorant women who tell you how good you look when you feel awful, can barely comb the thin hair you've been left with, have no lashes to put eye makeup on even if you had the motivation to do it, can hardly walk without joint pain etc. Aaagghhhh! Love, Jean

  • gmafoley
    gmafoley Member Posts: 5,978
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    They mean well but don't know what to say, so they say something stupid. I have come back with snide remarks and that just makes them mad. So I have gotten to the point I say thank you and leave it at that.

    My two favorite comments that have come my way are: You beat it, its all over so buck up and move on. or You can't even tell you have cancer... you must be better so what are you so worried about? Yeah... about that.

  • shepkitty
    shepkitty Member Posts: 878
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    I just smile big, use my happy voice and then cheerily inform the person just exactly how I feel and how I'm doing. Very liberating and totally F's with the offending person's mind.

    Then I offer them some sunflower seeds..........

    Image result for sunflower seedsImage result for sunflower seeds

  • shepkitty
    shepkitty Member Posts: 878
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    Wicked ~ Next time your jerk of a co-worker starts with her idiocy, ask her to stop talking so you can take notes for your MO. Act like she really DOES know what she is saying. Ask about her research, her sources and of course her medical background. Start pestering her with cancer questions. Ask her to consult on the phone with your MO. Ask her to come to your next appointment so she can share her knowledge. Be sure to refer other co-workers to her for cancer related issues. She knows stuff!

    The more your "friend" talks, the stupider she'll sound. If her new found "fame" doesn't turn her into a babbling idiot within a week, she will certainly become very uncomfortable with all the attention being focused on her. She should back off. Or quit.

    Without saying a negative word, you will expose her for the loathsome person she is.

    Oakmoss ~ May we all find ourselves in your wonderous "shining, peaceful utopia without stupid"

    Image result for utopia

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 4,555
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    I sometimes will comment I hope you feel as good as you look...that is when someone truly looks good, but you know they are ill...generally this is well received....BUT I only think I learned this after being on the receiving end of dumb, stupid comments. It never ceases to amaze me the things that people say!!!

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671
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    oh kitty I love your Response! May I steal that!

  • barbski60
    barbski60 Member Posts: 7
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    shep kitty

    perfect response!!


  • shepkitty
    shepkitty Member Posts: 878
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    Proudtospin ~ I'm happy to share my "coping" strategies!

    Barbski60 ~ Thanks :)

    I really do practice what I preach. My son thinks I'm hysterical. My husband thinks I'm an arsehole. Oh well..... 😘

    Giving those cheery, honest replies either opens the door to pass on some cancer education or causes the person to bolt and avoid further conversation. Win, win either way!