Not quite a horder - decluttering
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Agatha- welcome to our thread. Please do not beat yourself up for feeling you have done something wrong at home. I think all of us can tell you during cancer treatment and beyond, a lot of things just have to get parked to focus on getting through treatment, and beyond. We are all doing the best we can through this stuff.
Couple ideas to start:
1) Let go of the idea of how much you spent on things, even if they are not going to be of use to you or others now. That keeps us all hanging on to things. Also, as you begin sorting, try to look at things more with how you value them, like "this is something I really love and want to keep" vs. this is just stuff to me. It will help you compile the things that need to go quicker so you can figure out how to get those out of your place.
2) Ask a friend to help, but if you don't have one you are comfortable with, if you know a teenage girl, invite her in to help you organize and sort. Tell her she can keep some of the things as her compensation (she might like the make up). Kids tend to be less judgmental about things. I used to clean and help some elderly relatives and would help them sort through some things they were needing to do things with. I worked with a business coach that said when you are doing anything mundane (like sorting through paperwork), listen to some good music, enjoy a favorite beverage just to make it all more do-able.
3) I am the person who takes too big clothing and brought it to consignment where you can get money or buy things on credit. It helped me to get some $$$ for expensive business clothing that was too big and hardly worn. Usually needs to be less than five years old for them to take it in, where I live. Since you mentioned you don't have a car, it may be hard to get it to a place like this. Are you in NYC? If you are, I know they have some nice consignment stores there. Worth calling a few to see what they will take? Some are very high end and others may take a variety of brands.
4) I am also the one who gave the tip on Staples. I have a home based consulting business and had a hard time keeping up with client documentation shredding after some things were finished and ended up figuring this out with time. Staples also sells good containers/bins to put the stuff in and they shred a lot for very little $$$.
5) With hobbies, look at where else things can be re-purposed, recycled, reused. Schools will always take art/paper supplies, if you knit or crochet, assisted living or nursing homes might like the supplies for some of their residents. They might like some books too, the big kind with great pictures are great for seniors. My mother used to love looking at art books (pictures of paintings) when she was in assisted living.
6) If you have old business suits or clothing, there are places that help women get back in to the work force (YWMA's My Sister's Closet) where you can donate outfits, purses, shoes to help women who may be needing help after leaving a difficult situation and need to get working to take care of themselves.
7) Start small, you sound like you have lots to do and that can feel overwhelming. Work on a pile to start or corner of a room, get some containers to sort things just to get a surface clean, and continue on an area or part of a room until you see clearing.
8) Oh and those brother's of yours? Give them a job if they have transportation of their own. Tell them you are working to get some things removed from the apartment and get their help to take things away. If it is old appliances you want to leave by the roadside, have them do that for you. They might willingly help you with something where they can pick up items and drop them off, easy for them and really helps you. They probably do want to help, but having them in criticizing your space is just not helpful so you have to give them another task to do.
Those are a few opening suggestions. Ask questions?
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If it were 1818 and not 2018, I’d be tarred and feathered for the state of one “storage room” in my home. Storage room lol, more like a biggie sized junk drawer! The rest of the house is minimalistic as I love order. I dread going in there, but the inspiration you gals on this thread provide has given me the slap upside the head I need. I’m going in! Fire in the hole!
If I don’t post back, send in the marines, I might be stuck in a box!
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Agatha - another way is to start with only one category. For example - all your pants, or all your T-shirts or all your shoes. Pick a day, try them on, put them directly in a box or bag if it's not something you would currently wear or no longer fits or you haven't worn it in "X" years. Or pass things along if you have extras. Somehow I discovered 5 hoodies in different closets last weekend and I'm not even a clothes shopper. Down to two now - one white & one black.
Or like Jazzy suggests - when you pick a room, focus on one small thing. Like in the kitchen - do all the pot & pans & cooking things. Then do all the coffee cups (and watch out - those darn things multiply in the cupboards at night while the doors are closed.) Or do only the drawers first.
Even though I could use the extra money, I'm not willing to do Craig's List or have garage sales anymore. As you mentioned, too many weird people in the world these days. Where I live, Salvation Army picks up regularly. I can put 10 boxes/bags on my porch and call & they'll come every two weeks on their 'regular' route. We can give you a ton of good places to take the hobby stuff, but if you have no transportation you just need it out of your house as a start. Oh boy did it hurt for me to get rid of all the gorgeous silks & wools that I was going to make into lovely clothes once upon a time. Liquor stores have sturdy boxes. Keep one handy that you toss things into whenever you see something that can go. Then DO NOT go back & look in the box before you send it off.
Keep coming back here. We inspire each other. I've gotten such great tips from this thread. Thanks everyone!!!
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AgathaNYC--welcome to the thread! I hear you about feeling held back by the clutter. I felt that way, too, and for a long time after. It actually took a health crisis to really motivate me to start decluttering and cleaning up. One year later things are MUCH better.There's lots of really good advice already posted.
When you are thinking of how much you spent on an item try asking yourself it that item is valuable enough to you that you would pay that amount per month to store the item, or that much per hour to look for the item in one of your storage rooms.
Are there any hobbyist groups near you? They may be very interested in the specialty hobby equipment to use for education or someone may be willing to pay some for it to get themselves started. Instead of throwing it away you would be creating an opportunity for someone else.
My cousin had a brilliant idea when she was cleaning out her mother's house. She boxed up items with emotional attachments and put them in storage. She is going to go through them box by box when it's been a year.My cousin lived out of state and already had a storage unit, so that makes a lot of sense. You could designate some boxes or one closet or a specific area for those items, and pick a date when you will start re-looking at those items. Mark the re-look date on the box.
I have found two things that really help me--1 timer and 1 rule.I set a timer for 10 or 15 minutes and sort for that long, then set the time for a 10 or 15 minute break. It keeps me from getting burned out and overwhelmed. It's amazing how much you can do in 10-15 minutes! The 1 rule is that I handle each item only once. Once I pick up the item I must decide if it is going in the throw away bag, the donate bag,the put away bag or the emotional attachment box. To put something in the put away bag it must be something I canthink of 3 times I needed/wanted in the past month, and a place in mind where it should live. The last 10-15 minute work session is spent putting the items where they are going to live.
Someone mentioned baby steps. Baby steps work. I know. I've cleaned 22 cubic yards of junk out of my home last summer and fall using baby steps and 10 minute work sessions. Keep coming back here for support and more ideas. You'll make it!
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I love it here. I get motivated from all of you and will go back and re-read some of the tips once in a while. I really wish I could work on a room and get it completely done, but I don't really have the time, so I have been doing small steps organizing and uncluttering. When I started I really thought that this was not going to work and it was like picking up a couple leaves out of the yard in the fall. I am happy to say that I kept at it and am now starting to see and feel a difference. My goal is to get my home so it is easy to go through to clean so I can spend more time living and doing things I want to do.
Egads - We will organize a search party is we don't hear from you in a week. lol
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Egads, Mistyeyes and Agatha, it is great to have you. The threwd contains some great tips. Think of decluttering as editing your things and keeping what you love rather than focusing on what you are getting rid of.
I, too, would think of the cost of things and hesitate to unload stuff because of it. However, some things I had to admit I had gotten my money's worth out of. And some hobbies I no longer had an interest in and it was time to move on. That is okay! Give yourself permission to move forward in your life!
A reminder that The Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo is a great read. Very helpful
“Let It Go" and “Its All Too Much" by Peter Walsh addresses more of the hoarding type tendancies, is very easy to read and helps you understand why you may be holding on to things and suggests ways to deal with those feelings and declutter your world.
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About Craigs List, in my city, there are places designated as safety zones to do exchanges. Often they are next to a police station so there is no funny business. Also, because so much on Craig's List can be stolen (I learned this when my car was broken in to in 2011, watch Craig's list for your stuff to show up and in fact my laptop was there and I was going to do a "sting" with the police, but then it was gone. The reason I mention this is people may be leery of stolen stuff so if you have a copy of the bill of sale, it makes things go better.
I tried to sell a high end mountain bike on Amazon and found it to be a hassle. I got a good offer for it, and although I got a price to pack and ship it with UPS, they wanted me to shop around at various shipping services for the best pack & mail price. In the end, I traded it in at a bike shop (got less money, but also less hassle) and got a new and better bike for me. I think Amazon is good for small stuff like jewelry and other simple items you can ship. Consignment will take jewelry too!
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Wow, everyone. Thank you so much for responding to my post. It feels so good to be able to talk about this with you guys. You've already offered so many good ideas, and with such good humor!
I've done some internet searches and found some good causes that I can just pack up and mail some of the specialty items, things like fabric, baking equipment, art supplies, beauty products, etc.
DivineMrsM, Thanks for the book recommendations. Maybe the library has them so I don't bring another book into my house! :-) I've heard of the Marie Kondo book - her techniques seem interesting.
I'll let you know how it is going.
Egads007 - Good luck going in your storage room.
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Hi all:
I took a break from sorting and tossing and donating at the old house we are selling, to come up to our retirement condo to get the interior painted. Painting crew finished yesterday and it looks beautiful!!! So happy with the colors I chose. So now, the challenge is to figure out how to bring just the right amount but not too much from the old place to the new place (and then to get the old place ready to sell!)When the painters were done they had a couple of cans leftover and asked me if I wanted them: NO!!! I did a close inspection, had them touch up maybe one spot, but I don't need to do more touchups, and I don't want it in my garage just taking up space, which I know from past experience is what would have happened if I had taken them. A small step in the right direction.
We decided we needed a break so are going to spend the holiday weekend just enjoying the new place (lots to do around here, especially outdoors), but I will be busy with decluttering when I go back to the 'old' home next week. One challenge is figuring out how best to sell the furniture we won't be bringing: as I mentioned, going from 2800 sq ft to 1350 means we have to get rid of furniture, and some of it is fairly high quality so I would like to sell....will start with Craig's list and local on line shopping groups and see how that goes. We lived in a gated community so a garage sale is a bit problematic. The HOA usually does a community wide garage sale in the fall so that might be an option, though I'd really like to get rid of most of this stuff before September!
Thanks for the suggestions about books! All very helpful.
Keep at it all.
Octogirl
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octogirl, your efforts sound like they are really paying off! Smart move not keeping the left over paint. The furniture will move quick if its priced right. My niece moved into a beautiful house in Atlanta which had heavy type draperies hung with large rods. She wanted light and airy and was able to sell the drapes for a nice price on Craig's list. She and her husband bought some designer name brand sofa on Craigs List, and after a few months wanted something different and were able to sell the old sofa on Criags List for even a little more than they'd paid for it! It helps that they live in a large city, I think.
That said, I can understand not wanting to venture into Craigs List if you dont feel comfortable doing so. My husband has made a few purchases that way and always met the seller at a busy car park or local grocery store and it has worked great.
Agatha, I get my books at the local library. I love to read. My library belongs to a consortium, which is a large group of Ohio libraries, and I can place a hold on any book I want in the system and if my library doesnt have it, it will be sent here from one of the other libraries. Its wonderful. And if you end up buying a book, you can always get the Kindle version so no clutter, right?!
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Octogirl, Check to see if there are consignment furniture stores in your area. They especially want quality items. You might get a little less, but it would be gone and they would have the hassle.
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Wren, in my old area, unfortunately no, there aren't. I've checked. Just too rural I guess.
However, my new area has WONDERFUL consignment stores, at least three that I know of! (I wanted a smaller dining room set for the much smaller dining room area and got the perfect set at one of those consignment stores). In fact, I've actually contemplated bringing all of the furniture up in the move and then just having the consignment store take what we don't want...only problem of course, is that I then have to pay to move it (it is about 200 miles from old place to new place).
I think I will try and sell what I can, and I might then bring up what is left for consignment sale here, if it doesn't add too much to the cost of the move....
The goal is to move as little as possible, of course!
Octogirl
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Sounds like a great plan.
I sent a king sized duvet, a lamp, hats and more odds and ends to yardsale. Delivered three bags of uniforms. Yea! Still feel cluttered and disorganized.
Furniture repair guy coming to fix library table so I can scrapbook. That will alleviate lots of papers. It's unreal how manypapers they bring home from school.
I'm really wanting to tackle my honey do list this weekend. Please hold me accountable. No excuses!
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Zills--you can do it, I have faith in you!
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Zills- that is empowering for you to say about tackling your honey do list. You will feel great for taking that on and owning it yourself. I love taking things around the house that I know I can do. Ninety percent of the time, I can handle things myself, only 10% I need to call in a professional. You go girl!
Wishing everyone a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend (and fun de-cluttering if you are doing some of that too this long weekend!)
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Hello, everyone.
I feel pretty good about tackling some sorting today. I've heard back from 4 of the great organizations I found on line and got a better idea of what they are looking for. I'm going to start putting together boxes to send them. There are four categories and I will probably do one at a time so it's not so overwhelming for me. I've got fabric/notions, baking supplies, makeup/beauty, and art supplies.
If it weren't going to rain all weekend I'd some books out on the sidewalk for people to take. (I live in Brooklyn and get a lot of foot traffic.) That might be next weekend's project.
P.S. On a non-decluttering note I hope everyone is going to enjoy their Memorial Day weekend. As a tribute to my father whom I lost to cancer a few years ago, I'd like to remind everyone to also think of the U.S. Merchant Marines who lost their lives during wartime. They aren't an official branch of the military but sailed the ships that transported military personnel and supplies for every war since the Revolution. Their ships were often targeted and many sailors lost without official recognition.
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My grandfather was a Merchant Marine during WWI. His ship was the former Vaterland, which was captured from the Germans in 1917 and renamed the SS Leviathan. It was used as a troop ship during the war and was later used as a passenger ship. Grandpa joined the Merchant Marines after he was deemed ineligible for the draft--he had lost vision in one eye while working in the shipyard when a steel fragment punctured his eyeball (yikes!) While the regular Army and Navy didn't want him, the MM was happy to have him. He got out of the MM just prior to WWII and went right back to building ships in the same shipyard where he lost an eye. They don't make men like they used to!
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Poodles :-)
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Put up shelving in garage. Need one more. Can combine several totes. Garage looks so much better.
Was able to get bed frame set up. Room looks so much better.
Library table fixed. Scrap booking can commence!
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Way to go Zills!! That's an inspiring amount of work you've done.
Happy Scrapping!
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So what’s the punishment for not having made a move on my storeroom yet? Water torture? Put in the stocks? Bed without dinner? Hanging
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Put on something itchy:)
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LMAO!!! Perfect!!
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Zills, shelving is a wonderful thing. I remember years ago having a whole bunch of stuff laying in a spare room for a long long time, and my brother, a bachelor, took a look and simply said, “Needs shelving.” It was just what I needed to hear, and I bought a couole metal shelving units which solved many problems. You progress sounds wonderful!
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The interior painting of my new condo is finished, looks great, and that means we can start moving in what we will keep in downsizing, and selling or giving away the rest! We were up there this weekend and did take some time to relax, but hung pics on the wall, decided which drawers and shelves will be for what...etc. Tomorrow I start in on sorting clothes!
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Poodles--they do not make men like that anymore!
Zills--Good for you!!
Egads--I like the wearing something itchy punishment!
Octo--Such progress!Good for you for getting some relaxation time, too!
I think I've solved my lack of motivation. I sent out e-mails requesting estimates for the installation of a heat pump, will be getting calls over the next few days and making appointments for the estimates, and will need to get some of the mess cleaned up before anyone comes to see the place! It's already motivated me to get the dishes caught up and some picking up done in the kitchen!
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Hi ladies- I finally got working on my paperwork stuff last week and made good progress. Going for more this week. I also dropped off some things for consignment, the rest they did not want going in to bags for donations next.
A good friend of mine is leaving town for a job in Denver. She has been trying to get back there for some time, her family is there, and the job finally came. She has to leave quickly to start her new position, but has been purging for some time with the idea the job would come. Anyways, she is going to leave next week to go up and start work soon and will be back to pack up her house and put it on the market.
She was a great friend to me during treatment, so I am going to step up and help her with the house packing and purging. I told her when she is back and ready to box things up, there will be things to donate and I will get rid of those for her with whatever I can fill my car up with. I had a friend do that for me when I did my last big out of state move, came and took all my leftovers from a yard sale. With all my de-cluttering experience, I know all the places to take things to recycle or re-use. Or if she has places she wants them to go, I will just be that errand runner. Taking my de-clutter skills to now help a friend!
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I have been wanting to get downstairs and attempt to get a grip on the clutter and mess. We moved in this house in 2013 and there are still boxes that haven't been opened. Shortly after we moved in our oldest daughter died unexpectedly. That slowed things way down . Next we had family moving to our area we stored their things in our downstairs for a few months. Got that moved out then my sister (11 months older than me) passed away unexpectedly and we ended up cleaning her house and the majority of her stuff came to my house. She was a hoarded and I had no idea how bad it was!! She lived a state away and she always wanted to come see us never really waneed anyone at her house. Anyway. ...for storing other people things we ended up with mice!! I have never had mice before....bastards! I have two cats (fat lazy cats!) So we should have never had mice survive in our basement! So...the reason for my rant...I haven't seen a mouse in months and today I decided to get the cabinet area in my closet and dressing area downstairs cleaned up. I even made pictures of before and after. Omg! The upper cabinets which I rarely get anything out of were full of mouse poop!! So my little 20 minute straighten up turned into a hour with lots of trash!!! I would be to embarrassed to tell this anywhere but here!
Good job ladies on all you have accomplished! Carry on!
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Varadoll- let me begin here by expressing my condolences for your losses, your daughter and then your sister. I have not lost a child, but have experienced double losses back to back twice in my life and they really throw you for some kind of a loop. Big hugs here friend.
I lived in an old house once (built in the 1600s) with an earthen basement and so mice had been in for some time and were also in the walls (would hear them scratching at night). My advice to you is to maybe get a professional in to assess how big the infestation is? They may be able to do something before this gets worse?
You brought things in to your home in duress so don't beat yourself up. We cleaned out our mother's house after a healthcare crisis and we had to move her nearer to us. She knew she had mice, but fortunately, my sis and I only took a few things like family heirlooms and left other things behind in a dumpster. I think we were lucky we did not export any of those critters out of her house.
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Thank you Jazzygirl! I would love to bring a professional exterminator but no way my husband would. I haven't seen a mouse in months. I was able to finally start catching them with glue boards. I tried every human way and couldn't catch a one! After I get my center room cleaned up and empty from all the junk I'll keep an eye out for fresh traces of the little bastards!
After. I love my Kitchen Aid mixer but it's to big to fit in my kitchen cabinets. Need to find a better location for it.
Before
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