Not quite a horder - decluttering
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Hi ladies- there is some good work going over here. Spring cleaning and de-cluttering under way on the thread. I am back in the closets cleaning out more too big clothing to take to consignment. Also cleaning out things related to yard and garden (outside storage bench getting done this week).
Several orgs here in the area are doing recycling of electronics and shredding as part of Earth Day activities. Watch for those in your area if you are trying to get some shredding done for free and/or old computers and the like safely recycled.
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Our town has had a free shredding day. They borrow a huge, industrial-size shredder and residents can bring in their documents to shred.
I found that many financial statements only have identifying information on the first few pages. I shred those pages, and the rest can go directly into recycling.
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Mominator--putting unwanted items out beside the road is a spring time ritual in rural Maine.It is amazing what other people will find desirable. I put out a broken gas grill one a few years ago, it was gone within the hour. Same with a box of duplicate office supply items (clip boards, file trays, 3 ring binders, assorted small items)I put out. Box and all went! Best part is not having to pay the fee for the big clean out pick up and tag all the items.
Poodles--so nice to find someplace where once cherished toys will be loved again!
MinusTwo--Wow, 13% is a big chunk of operating costs to be covered by thrift store sales!
Sweet Pea--I can't imagine how hard it is for you to be struggling against the way you were raised and not wanting to become a hoarder. Keep picking away at it, you'll find balance. I use the timer method a lot, too, it's really helpful!
Poodles--I can't imagine living out of a camper, and am so amazed that you are doing just that! Great idea about looking at items before bringing them in, having a place for it before buying it, taking items with more than one use. I'm going to have to try to use that approach.
Wren--I come from a family with hoarding tendencies, and was taught never to throw anything out that might be useful."Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." was heard often in my home and both of my grandparent's homes. Both grandmothers would never throw out an item of clothing until all the buttons, any zippers, and any "good trim" was taken off. "Good trim" included the hooks and eyes off bra backs. Yeah, really. Before bc I would cut the hooks and eyes off the backs of bras before tossing them. Probably still have a box of them in the sewing room. Can't wait to run across them and toss them. I haven't worn a bra since recon surgery!
Jazzy--I'm doing something I never thought I would do before--a spring closet clean out, not of clothes that don't fit or aren't fit to wear, but of clothes that fit, are good, but I DON'T LIKE TO WEAR! A year or so ago I joined a service that sends clothes to the house to try on, and have slowly gathered a wardrobe of quality clothes that fit my 3x body properly, and have been able to let go of a lot of cheap stuff, and now am winnowing down to the items I really love to wear. And I don't feel like I'm wasting money by not wearing the less liked items.
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It’s nice that our decluttering is ramping up again with spring (somewhere) in sight!
Clean up week in town is the usually the second week of May, and people drive up and down alleys to find treasures. Yes, we have done it too and found some good stuff! I don’t find a need to do it any more of course, but always loved finding a nice little table or bench to paint. I find small pieces of furniture like that to be very versatile.
Several years ago, dh demolished a huge, old, porcelain tub upstairs in tiny, narrow bathroom that was never used, we also heaved the toilet and porcelain sink from the room. Dh knew there was a guy in a truck who always perused the alleys looking for porcelain, so he flagged him down one day and told him to come back the next day and that guy took all that scrap. So, yes, it is amazing what you can get rid of by setting out stuff for trash! Btw, I turned that old bathroom into a “gift wrap”room, nice place to store that kind of stuff along with bows, ribbon, tape, ect.
One thing that we found doesn’t go are the large entertainment centers. Even our local mission thrift store no longer picks them up. People just don’t want them. The mission won’t pick up old box tv’s or china cabinets, either. Another reminder that many adult children these days often don’t want much of this type of family “heirlooms” and aren’t as in to the formality of things like “good china”. It is a changed world.
Poodles, we had a camper at the lake when ds was little, and I never much cared for living in the small space! I think you have to have a certain personality to embrace it, it’s becoming more popular these days, too.
Native Maine, yep, those old timers saved everything! Crazy about the hook and eyes from the bra straps! It is great to hear how you are thinning out your wardrobe to only include quality items that you love. Good job!0 -
I am loving reading the post on this thread. I came from a family of "savers' as well. A worn article of clothing was striped of anything valuable. I remember the wide band on the top of men's underwear being cut off if it were use able. I remember Momma sewing it the the corners of sheets to make them fit tighter and sTay tucked under the mattress. Times have definitely changed and I have heard the term "wasteful nation" before. There are so many convenient things now with zip lock bags in every size imaginable, bottled water and all those take and toss containers....
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NM- good for you girlfriend with the closet clean out! I find having less in the closet makes finding the items I love more accessible. So glad you are enjoying paring down process too. Along with consignment, I donate the things that can still be used by others, I throw out a lot of stuff to that is stained, too worn, find those surprise holes in, etc.
Divine- I bought a large entertainment center three decades ago and remember the work to move that thing around with a few moves, and setting it up every time. They used to make sense with the super large and heavy TVs but with flat screens now, no one needs those anymore? I ended up selling mine when I moved west again in the mid 1990s with a big yard sale, and don't miss that thing at all. I have a smaller hutch now that can be used for many other things, but is red and ends up being a nice storage space (which we struggle for out here with no basements or attics?) I found Big Brothers and Sisters still takes the old style heavy TV's though, as long as they work. Shelters and the like can use them here for their community rooms.
Okay, it is always fun to share a prize I get on consignment credit. The rule of thumb is if I get items at consignment (especially smaller sized clothing), I cannot take out more than I bring in. I happened to be in the store last week, when someone brought in these fabulous gold and aquamarine earrings. This stone is my birthstone and hard to find anymore, but as she was showing the owner some nice things, I asked if the earrings were in fact aquamarines? She said yes, also her birthstone but she does not wear them anymore. I told her I would give them a good home. Such a fabulous find and more than enough in my account for them. Whoot! I got rid of a lot of stuff I don't want or can't wear and came away with these (and they take up very little space too!)
Happy de-cluttering ladies. Keep it going......
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awesome swap jazzy!
Question. Newly divorced but with kids. What do I do with all that wedding stuff? Mainly pix? Do you just toss photos?
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Zills- I am sorry to hear about the divorce sister. Although I have not been in that place, I will share that I have had to ask myself questions sometimes about gifts from people who are no longer a part of my life. I also had to do so with items from our mom's house when we cleaned it out when we had to move her (including things from her wedding days).
Things like wedding dishes and the like, photos, may be something your kids want some day, if too young to know now? They may want to have those memories. Maybe wait on those. There may be a lot of other things that have less sentimental value and may be easier to pass along to donations (kitchen items you may not be using, etc.) I like to use the rule of thumb"is this stuff or is it something I love and have sentimental attachment to?"
Finding places to take things can sometimes help the process too. Finding charities you like where you feel like you are passing things along to a good use are a real plus. I love to take things to shelters, Habitat Restore, etc. It always makes me feel good to donate things to places that are doing good work in the community and the world?
I will say depending on how things end, if not well, I am always wanting to quickly get rid of the reminders. I was seeing someone last year for awhile, and decided we were not going to be anything longer term. I had a few things from him he gave me during our time together. Two things I have already donated, but one thing I am keeping because it is a nice reminder of a fun time we had together last year- an amber necklace he gave me that I wear and still like.. I still like the necklace and will keep it for now. Smaller decision than you need to make, but the process can work the same.
A tip on better jewelry too. If you have some nicer things, often a local jeweler may be willing to buy them and resell them, or do something to remake them in to something you may like and wear now? Sometimes women like to save their wedding rings, especially if passed down in the family, for children.
Start slow and it may be hard to start, but usually gets easier with time. Letting go of the old makes room for the new chapter underway in your life.
Hope this helps?
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Zillsnot, I don't think I'd be too quick to toss them. Your kids may want to see them later. Maybe just put them aside for now.
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NM, My mother removed the zippers and buttons too. I used to love to play with her button jar. Talk about never throwing anything away, when Mom died we found a net heart under her bed with all the bows off my shower presents. This was 20 some years after my marriage.
I've decided hating a garment is a plenty good reason for tossing it. I'm a little nervous about my summer wardrobe, however. If I stay this weight I won't have any summer pants. I'm thinking about buying or making some loose palazzo pants for hot weather.
Good find Jazzy!
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I am keeping the shadow box and professional wedding album. I have 600 pix from the photographer and who knows how many from friends and family. I wore my moms dress and was given his moms engagement ring. I will keep those for my children.
I've divided up most of the wedding gifts based on who gave them. He obviously notice because wanted to know why I took all the Waterford. I did give him back what he gave me, except the ring. I don't want it to go to the gf and have specified it in my will, it goes to my son.
I just want the hurt to go away and not care. I would love to remember and enjoy the good times. It wasn't all bad. Have two beautiful children.
I digress. Sorry. So do you just trash pix? I'm probably going to ignore them awhile longer.
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Zills, I am sorry about the divorce. Since you said “newly" divorced, I think the best thing to do is store the pictures for now in an out of the way place where you don't come across them all the time. Wait to decide what to do. Time has a way of loosening our grip on old memories, it puts things in better perspective. I am sorry about the hurt and pain, Zill. It takes time to sort things out, allow yourself to feel those yucky feelins, work through them, and then you will be ready to move forward.
I've learned to really listen to my feelings, like Jazzy. If something provokes unpleasant memories, I just don't keep it around. To do so would be to torture or punish myself and I am learning to better honor my feelings by making more room for the good feelings. Funny, it seems so super simple now yet took me years to figure out.
Jazzy, lovely earrings!
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Zills - my grown son still had NO desire to see old wedding pictures of bio-dad. I've kept the album but darned if I know why. 25 years down the road, it's not as distressing to look at - and I can remember how cute I was then before gravity took over. As for china & silver & etc. as Devine says - most kids don't want any of that stuff anymore. Heaven forbid - it has to be washed by hand. There really aren't many places who will even take it on consignment & I live in a HUGE city with lots of antique places & consignment shops. I've settled for putting it in the very high cupboards for now. He can include it in the "estate sale" after I die.
NM - I love about the hooks & eyes. My grandma had boxes full of buttons. She saved rubber bands but luckily not string. For those of us who's parents lived through "the war" - which means our grandparents lived through WW's 1 & 2 - re-using was imperative. I do wash & re-use both tin foil and zip lock bags - but not if there was something wet or goopy. Only if it was bread or cheese or crackers.
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Zills, I think the common recommendation is to not make any drastic changes after a major life event, like death, divorce, or winning the lottery. It's easy to just REACT to a stressful situation, rather than slowing down to thoughtfully ACT. Put the pictures under the bed for now. Maybe take them out next spring, when the emotions have cooled a bit.
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zills - I agree with everyone else about waiting a while before throwing anything out yet.
I don't cut the hooks off of my bras, but I do cut off and save the buttons off blouses I throw out.
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Zills- question about the photos, are they hard copy, digital or a combination? If they are hard copy, put them all in a box and label them with the date they go in and a date you will open the box again. Maybe in a year, as things will feel a lot different a year from now. But maybe they will stay in that box for awhile too.
If they are digital (on your phone, a computer, etc.) find someone who can take a copy off your device(s) from the pictures directories and copy them down to a thumb drive or somewhere else. If they go on a thumb drive, put them in the box with the hard copy stuff. Storage on digital will be easier space wise, but only if you have someone do it for you. Don't review any pics, just store away for now.
Mustlovepoodles makes a good point, it is good to wait awhile before disposing of too much. You have thought through some of the things you want to pass along to your children and how to ensure that happens.
Hugs sister, hoping things get a bit better each day.
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I agree to put the photos aside for at least a year. NOT under your bed, however. That's got to be bad juju.
I worked for a health organization and had a doctor I didn't like. After he left to go elsewhere, I took his photo and punched it full of holes before I burned it. Very therapeutic.
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Wren- I work in healthcare consulting and had a few of those myself, lol
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Mrs. M--I hear you about it being a changed world. I have a china cabinet and display a set of china that was my grandmothers. One of my uncles brought the set home from overseas while he was in the service. Bot Grammy and the uncle are gone now, so I'm talking with other family members like my Mom to try to narrow down the time frame and exactly where he was when he bought the set. Wish I'd though to do that before Grammy died. I love seeing it, and have used the set for family Thanksgiving dinners a few times. Not sure what will happen to it when I die, I'm not sure anyone else in the family wants it.
Vergadoll--I know my grandmothers got into the habit during the depression, they both talked about it at times. We do live in a world of wonders and conveniences, but I am finding that fewer conveniences actually work better.
Jazzy--I'm trying consignment for the first time with this closet clean out, just to see how it works. Great earrings!
Zills--maybe have the pics converted to CDs or scanned onto a zip drive? You'll still have them, but not taking up much space, in case someone wants to see them at a later date. Scanning them and saving them with some identifying info (date, event, name of people, particularly names of people) can be a real help if someone in the family gets into genealogy.
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Thanks everyone. No I won't keep them under the bed. Too funny Wren!
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NM - I think it would be better if Zills just boxes up the pictures and tosses them in the attic or garage. To spend either time or money digitizing them only keeps the wounds open - and worse if she were to annotate them. I understand why you suggested it, but that just probes too many hurts for now when the analpore took off with a bimbo.
Zills - Either address the box in five or more years or leave it for the kids if they are interested. You've got too much living to do girl. Surround yourself with as many positive things as possible.
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Zills, I'm so sorry for your newly divorced status.
I would not toss your wedding photos. As much as that might be hard for you, it is that start of your children's lives. (They look young in your photo.) It would be comforting to see Mom and Dad during happy times. I'm sure you look lovely in your wedding dress. Plus, there are all their other relatives and friends in your photos. There's Grandma and Grampa, Uncle Bill when he had that silly mustache, and dear Aunt Barbara.
Store them in a safe place that you don't have to look on a regular basis. Maybe a watertight plastic box on a shelf not at your eye level. I'm short, but you might be tall. Maybe put in your kids' closet for them to have later? Maybe even give to hubby for safekeeping for your children, depending on how well you trust him.
My Mom just passed. I want to have mementos of her life. I would love to have my Mom and Dad's wedding album. I wore my mother's wedding dress for my wedding. Two of my siblings are twice divorced, so I'm not sure if the wedding album would mean as much to them. My parents' house is a mess and I live out of state. The good news is that I doubt that anyone will toss anything ever. The bad news is that I only visit my home state a few times a year.
HUGS and HUGS, I wish I could make this easier.
Madelyn
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MinusTwo--good point, and one I didn't think of. I was thinking of all the pics that I helped my cousin clean out of her mother's house, and all the mystery babies in those pics. Totally different situation.
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Thanks guys. I get the point about IDing pix but not up to it, at this point. And no I don't trust him to keep them. So I'll bury them in the back of the closet again.
My goal is to start and finish my kids scrapbooks. That will bring up sad feelings too. But I think they'll want them when they grow up. Yes they are still young. Six and nine. My pride and joy and reason for fighting.
I have my Gma's dining room suite and my great gmas china. My kids fav Aprils fools joke was mini waffles and gummy eggs on a child's tea set that my Gma had painted.
We haven't used the China or punch bowl set that I bought before kids and cancer. One ofthese days...
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Zills - thanks for posting back. I've been there and it's REALLY hard. Everything is up-ended and nothing matches anymore. Sometimes it's hard not to be bitter. Your kiddos are a good age for still cuddling. Hope you have physical help when you need it. Holding you in my thoughts.
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Weird morning. I woke up from a dream where I was sobbing my heart out and actually was crying in my sleep. In the dream I had been sorting & getting rid of my grandmother's things and it was heartbreaking. At the end my Dad was hovering over me to get on with it and I said I'd already gotten rid of Grandma's wedding dress - but just couldn't part with the lace slip. Lingering sadness still a couple of hours later.
I was contemplating sorting more of my clothes today but maybe I'll give it a pass.
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MinusTwo, It sounds like you have some conflicting feelings about your sorting. Unless you have a particular time crunch, maybe give it a few days. When you start back up, try to sort things that are less emotionally laden, like paperwork. NOT letters and pictures--that's about the hardest place to start.
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Minus2- wow, what a dream. Maybe your dad is helping you by saying it is okay to let some of your grandmother's things go. Lord knows I have cried going through old things to try to give them away. Maybe declutter things without those memories. May also be telling you that you are not ready for that work yet?
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Thanks for the thoughts ladies. I haven't even been considering 'sorting' for the last week so the dream came out of the blue. I've already gotten rid of most of my parents things - and most of my grandparents also. And I have destinations for some of the sentimental mementos that are left. Still - everywhere is a ton of stuff that means nothing to anyone but me. Now mostly things from my own life.
Realistically I don't think I've saved even an eighth of the things that my Mom saved - like all of her children's school paperwork from Kindergarten on and all of our baby teeth. And a bed jacket her mother hand made for her when I was born. And a dress my grandmother made Mother for a HS dance in 1928. Federal income became law in 1913 - two years after my Dad was born. He had files with all of his tax returns & all the back-up paperwork. Interesting reading if you have a historical bent, but he wouldn't have let me see them while he still alive. And they lived far away, so everything had to be cleaned out quickly.
I gave up on the pictures last year. I brought two boxes of letters down from the attic two years ago. I've read some of them but the boxes are still sitting in my living room. I couldn't bring myself to toss w/o reading. Now I'm concentrating on clothes. I've had my son's cub scout shirt hanging in the garage for a year with all the badges & medals. He is grown w/no children and when he came to town said 'WTH - of course I don't want that'.
The idea of taking pictures of things that are harbor important memories and then letting them go appeals to me.
Edited to add - some days the idea of lighting a match to the house appeals to me - LOL
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My son says he's going to use the match method when we're gone. If civilization goes, we can be the store for the whole neighborhood.
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